A/N: So this is my first Full Moon fanfic. It's manga based, so Mitsuki already knows that Eichi's dead. It's an odd fan fic about what would happen if Mitsuki were to commit suicide before Takuto or Meroko could get there. This was based on one those four panel things that Arina-sensei draws at the end of the books. Enjoy!
LIFELESS
Prologue: Freedom in death
That's it! I give up… Everything has always been so complicated. I'm only 12, and yet it seems like so much has happened already. How much longer do I have left? There is no way to answer that question. I don't want to move forward. I want to be with Kaa-san and Tou-san… I want to be with Eichi-kun. I feel like life is trying to pull me away from them all. Like, because I'm alive, I have to leave them behind. I don't want that. I don't want surgery; I'll embrace death, if only I can see you again. If only…
The knife looked so inviting… Calling to me. My heart was pounding in my chest pleading me to stop it. It was too much. /Stop it/ it would always ignore me. /Stop it!/ No…
/Mitsuki-chan…/ Tanaka-san, the housekeeper was talking to me. /Are you all right? You've been staring at your knife, why haven't you started eating yet?/
No, Tanaka-san. I don't want to eat. /I'm not hungry, gomen!/ I say as cheerfully as I can. /Obaa-chan, can I be excused?/
/But Mitsuki-san, you haven't finished eating yet./ Obaa-chan protests.
/I'm fine./ I lie, slipping the knife into the fold of my skirt. I'm not fine; there is something very, very, wrong with me, to want to take my own life.
The wrenching pain in my chest is my proof. I'm proud of it. The blood splatters into my hair, across my face. There is no chance for my favorite dress to ever be cleaned; the carpet will be stained for a long time to come. Obaa-chan might have to replace it. But in the few seconds when the pain has been overcome by numbness, and all my senses begin to crumble, I feel a bliss I haven't known for years.
/Mitsuki-chan/
I'm coming… Wait for me.