-Behind my Madness-

People always claim that I Ivan Braginsky are as they say "a creep" a "Madman" and lets not forget a "Commie bastard", as America always says(but I do not think he means it that way now). But can't they understand? Can't they see for a split second the anger and loneliness I feel inside?

No.

Of course not, because I do not let them. America came close during the Cold War to figuring out what my drive and motivation were. I admit I did some horrible things that may be looked upon as barbaric and cruel, but I always had a reason. Ever since the Romanov's death and the revolution I've felt completely different as if some sort of domino effect took place. I felt livid at how people could easily change their minds and the turmoil it caused me even more so when America became my rival. That is why sometimes I used other measures of persuasion also known as the pipe. I still use it but only for extreme measures only.

Equality.

We all want that right? Well I wanted that too, just not in the same manner as America. Once the idea of communism and socialism spread I began to consider the following:

1. People cannot be different. Therefore things would be simpler and we would all get along and so it meant people would not change so easily...at least I thought that at the time.

2. No social classes. Which led to no conflict about money which would be split equally.

3. We would all be a communion and be together. No loneliness and unhappiness.

Though in the end people need their freedom to think and express themselves which is why it collapsed. At that time I was afraid to be left alone and unloved. Sometimes though I had second thoughts because of my dear younger sister, whom I love but not in the way she wants me to. I still shudder at the thought today.

I still harbor those feelings today just not as strongly as I did back then.

I still harass the Baltics into 'becoming one with me' just to see them squirm. I know it is wrong to watch others suffer and laugh, but that is human nature. I hate myself for it but what can I do? As much as I want to stop I also don't want to. I hide these things behind a facade a mask that ultimately scares people away. But sometimes that smile on my face becomes true when I think of sunflowers and the warm delicate summer sun, that scares away General Winter.

I'm still looking for the reasons behind my behavior and attitude. But with all the turmoil inside me and all around me how can I not stop? The world in itself is just as Alfred always puts it is "F## up and wrong". I agree with him to an extent, because it is also beautiful and loving. There is two sides to this world.

Just like my personality.

I hope this made sense to you readers. Please tell me what you think of this Monologue...or is it a dialogue since there are quotes in here...uuummm...nah its totally a monologue.

Also I have question that is random and so out of place right now. What do you guys think of the pairing PikachuxJapan?...sorry I shouldn't be asking that but I think its so funny..

Bye!