~My Watermelon Candy~
"The sky is so beautiful today," Matsumoto sat at her desk, pretending to work. She glanced at her captain, still hard at work. "Eh, Shirou?"
Hitsugaya rapped his files on his desk, straightening them out. "Lieutenant Matsumoto, are you drunk again?"
Matsumoto perked up. Although she wasn't, a drunken woman couldn't do paperwork, right? "Yeah, I guess so, huh, Shirou?" She asked, intentionally slurring her speech.
Sighing, Hitsugaya motioned to the office couch. "Very well, just go lie down." Giggling on the inside, Matsumoto blundered over to the couch as her captain approached and stood over her, alerting her womanly sensors.
"I'm not that drunk," she protested, pushing him away from the side of the couch.
Hitsugaya's eyes widened. Did she really think he was coming on to her? "That's not what I'm doing, idiot," he said, picking himself back up. He roughly grabbed his cup of tea, a regular at his desk. Quickly, before she could react, he dumped the contents on his lieutenant's face.
"Ah! My make-up! My hair!" Matsumoto bolted up, seizing the young captain's kosode. "Why you little..."
Hitsugaya simply knocked away her hand. "You were drunk, and I fixed it."
"I wasn't really drunk! Anyone who's ever had a sip could tell that!" Realizing what she had just said, a huge smirk to rival Ichimaru's painted itself on her face. "So that's it... you've really never had any sake, eh, Hitsugaya?" She teased, sauntering back to her desk.
Hitsugaya gritted his teeth. It wasn't that he'd never had any - just that he swore it off after what happened last time. He got embarrassingly tipsy after just a few sips with Ichigo on the human's 21st birthday, resulting in pictures he had just only barely managed to live down.
The sound of ceramic hitting wood snapped Hitsugaya out of his trance. Looking up with dread in his heart, he saw Matsumoto setting down a large sake jug on his desk, two dishes in her hand.
"No," was all he said as he moved the jug to the lieutenant's desk.
Looking at him with a raised eyebrow, another thought worthy of genius status popped into Matsumoto's orange-capped head. "Well, I can see why Hinamori doesn't have any interest in you," she said in a faux off-hand manner. "No wonder, who respects a man who can't hold his alcohol?"
A visible shiver shot up the little captain. The sake jug shattered under his intense grasp, eliciting more than a squeal of disapproval from his lieutenant. "What did you say?" He growled, his voice a low grumble.
"Uh... nothing! Nothing at all, Captain Hitsugaya!" Matsumoto cried as she backed towards the door.
Hitsugaya hurled the sake dishes at the wall just inches from his victim. "Don't you dare bring her into this!" He yelled.
"Snowy's awful mad, isn't he?" Hitsugaya spun around to see squad 11's lieutenant, Kusajishi Yachiru, sitting on his desk. Lightly jumping off the desk and onto the couch, she sat down with her legs crossed, her now long pink hair pulled into a high ponytail. Tiny bells jingled on her ponytail holder, identical to her captain's hair accessories. Yachiru was no longer the little girl he remembered from Zaraki's shoulder - she was now only a few inches shorter than him and beautiful to boot, much to the annoyance of the Seretei's female population. Not that anyone within a 100 mile radius of Zaraki would ever admit to either fact.
"L-lieutenant Kusajishi! How long have you been here?" Hitsugaya turned from one irresponsible female to the other.
Yachiru fingered a strand of her hair, glancing at the red-faced captain, whether from anger or embarrassment. "Well..."
"You didn't notice her spiritual pressure? You really lost your temper there, Shirou." It was Matsumoto again, slowly regaining her nerve. Truth be told, she hadn't noticed it either, but no reason to tell her captain that.
Hitsugaya's hands quickly tightened into fists. Drawing in a deep breath, he unclenched his hands and sat down at his desk, opening the next file.
"Lieutenant Matsumoto, you need to get someone to clean up this mess," he said, indicating the pile of shattered pottery. "Lieutenant Kusajishi, please leave at once."
Yachiru pouted, resting her elbows on his desk. "Aww, Snowy, you're no fun!" She kissed her fingertips gracefully to him before disappearing in a flash step.
"Uh..." Was his brilliant response, giving Matsumoto fodder for yet another attack.
"So!" She giggled, lounging on the damp couch. "Yachiru is getting pretty womanly, huh? And here I thought you went for older women..."
"Lieutenant Matsumoto?"
"Yeah?"
He brutally signed off on a form, snapping his pen in half. He cursed as he dropped the pen like a ticking time bomb, ink leaking out. "Hurry up and get my office cleaned up before I decide to make you do it yourself."
His lieutenant heaved a dramatic sigh. "Oh, alright." Spotting a hapless squad 4 member, she called out to the boy. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! Get someone to clean up Captain Hitsugaya's office! Yes, right now!" She turned to Hitsugaya. "Sheesh, subordinates these days."
Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "Look who's talking," he muttered before returning to work.
Pulling a hand through his snowy white hair, Hitsugaya let out a massive yawn as he signed the last form in his stack. He glanced at Matsumoto, who was napping, almost concealed by the teetering stack of paperwork piled on her desk.
Slipping a piece of watermelon candy into the folds of his hakama pants, the child prodigy departed squad 10's barracks and began to wander aimlessly through the Seretei.
"Well I can see why Hinamori doesn't have any interest in you... Yachiru is getting pretty womanly, huh? And here I thought you went for older women..." Hitsugaya rubbed his temples, agitated by his lieutenant's banter.
"Hi again Snowy!" Yachiru's ever-smiling face appeared in front of his own. "Are you still angry?"
Hitsugaya frowned. "That's Captain Hitsugaya to you. And, no, I am not angry."
Yachiru copied his frown, stretching her petite face into a comical imitation of the scowling captain. "Whatever you say, Snowy. You still look angry, if you ask me." Touching her chin with her index finger, she cocked her head at him.
"What?" He asked, a little too quickly. Without another word she plunged her hands into the folds of his hakama, grabbing his shoulder with her free hand.
"What are you doing!" Hitsugaya yelled, ten shades of red and then some, as she plunged her hand into his concealed pocket, much to close to his private area for his comfort.
"Ah ha! Found it!" She cried, the back of her hand knocking against something hard. Hitsugaya flushed even deeper. "I thought you had a candy in here!" The pink-haired mischief maker closed her small hand around the precious candy, ignoring the other object she felt. She looked at his face curiously. "What's wrong, Snowy? You don't look so pale right now."
"Uh, it's nothing, don't worry about it." He turned away from her. "Just keep your hands out of my pants from now on!"
A red-haired lieutenant stopped from his return to the squad 6 barracks. Had the child-prodigy really just said what he thought he said?
"Aww, but it's so fun! I love hard candy!" Yachiru looked at his other pocket like a prey item as Hitsugaya clamped it firmly shut, his face still flushed. She shrugged and popped the candy in her mouth.
"That was mine!"
"Then why don't you take it back?"
Hitsugaya crossed his arms, his face getting even redder. "W-what are you insinuating?"
Yachiru stuck her tongue out, oblivious to the other way Hitsugaya could've taken her last statement, the pink transparent pearl resting on her tongue. "Why don't you take it from me the- ah!" The candy rolled off her still stuck out tongue onto the ground. "Aw jeez!" She pouted, picking it up. The pearl was coated with dust and dirt from the Seretei ground. Shrugging, she popped the candy back into her mouth, much to the captain's evident disgust.
"That's gross, Yachiru, spit it out!" Hitsugaya frowned at the girl, crossing his arms.
"You obviously forget where I come from," she curled her tongue back, hiding the candy but making her speech clumsy and slow. "I've eaten more dirt than you and your entire squad combined! ...Except for maybe Big Boo..." For once, Yachiru fell silent as Hitsugaya stared at her, perplexed.
"Hey, now, short stuff, wouldn't a more private place be a better setting for you two?" The young captain spun around to see Lieutenant Abarai Renji smirking at him.
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" Hitsugaya yelped as he jumped away from the pink-haired girl. "And it's Captain Hitsugaya to you!"
Renji smirked and placed his hands on his hips. "Oh, I think you know what I'm talking about all right," he laughed at his sudden idea. "I can't wait to tell Captain Zaraki!"
"W-what?" Hitsugaya shouted, his voice cracking up several octaves. "Tell him what?"
"Oh, that a certain little captain was fooling around with his lieutenant is all. I'm sure he won't be too bent on destroying every cell in your body. Probably."
Yachiru smiled sweetly at the fiery-headed lieutenant. "Hi Tattoo-face!" She squealed. "Look what I got from Snowy!"
"T-Tattoo-face?"
Uncurling her tongue, Yachiru showed Renji her prize, the little watermelon candy.
"U-uh, that's nice. He just gave it to you?" It was common knowledge that Hitsugaya loved watermelons - even Renji found it hard to believe the little captain was just handing the stuff out.
"Nope! I stole it from his pants!"
Renji, in the midst of issuing a snappy comeback, realized what the girl had just said, causing his jaw to flap up and down, imitating a fish rather well.
Yachiru giggled. Just as she expected. Tattoo-face was so predictable.
Renji, regaining his composure, hid his laughing face behind a parental, disciplinary expresssion. "Now, now, Yachiru, you're getting to the age where it is not approriate for a girl to," a snicker. He was close to cracking. "put her hands in Short Stuff's pants."
"I told you, it's Captain Hitsugaya! And when was it appropriate at all?" His snow white hair rippling with anger, Hitsugaya walked up to the much taller lieutenant. The effect was not what he had hoped for, as Renji had to tilt his head down to even catch sight of him. However, one look at the icy teal eyes of the young captain sent the fiery lieutenant scrambling for cover.
"Hey now, no need to get so temperamental!" The unfortunate lieutenant waved his hands as if to ward off the captain's glare. Turning, he left for Squad 6's barracks. "Don't worry, Short Stuff! Your secret is safe with me! Who knew you were such a ladies' man?"
The ground under Hitsugaya's feet immediately froze over, his breath used for muttering a single name. "Renji..."
Yachiru looked at him. "What was that, Snowy?"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
The pink-haired girl frowned cutely. "Now why would you do that, Snowy?"
Realizing Renji was no longer in his presence, Hitsugaya let out his childhood all-purpose response. "Huh?"
Yachiru giggled again. "Never mind. Let's go replace Feather-brain's foundation with itching powder!" She smiled, tugging at his sleeve.
"Why would I ever prank a subordinate?" Hitsugaya tugged his sleeve away from the girl's grasp. He had forsworn all childish things when he entered the academy - one little girl was not going to ruin it all. He began to feel nervous as Yachiru's eyes began to allude to tears, spiritual energy quickly becoming as abundant as air.
"S-Snowy doesn't want to play?" Her hand flew to the hilt of her sword as a fat tear rolled down her cheek.
Reflexively, Hitsugaya's zanpakuto was there to block hers as it swung upwards in a lethal arc. A pink dragon slithered from her pommel, its red eyes slitted at Hitsugaya.
"How dare you anger my mistress!" It spat, its talons resting on Yachiru's shoulders. Showing off its fearsome fangs, the dragon spread its wings, petals replacing feathers, and took flight.
"Shit!" Hitsugaya considered his options. He would have to fight. Releasing Hyorinmaru's shikai, Hitsugaya sent his frost dragon into the sky to combat the new enemy arisen from Yachiru's hilt.
"Hey Snowy!" Hitsugaya turned to see Yachiru's little sword at his neck. "Don't forget about your opponent down here, either!" Flipping the sword to around, she soundly whacked him with the pommel, sending him to the floor, unconscious. A stream of blood stained his white hair as he collapsed at her feet.
"Mistress, what was this all about?"
"Um... you wouldn't want to know. You can rest now, I'll just take him to Squad 4's barracks."
With that, the girl lifted Hitsugaya up as easily as a baby and carried him off to the dumbfounded and frightened members of Squad 4.
Hitsugaya slowly forced his eyelids open, repulsed by the bright light. He tasted his own irony blood in his mouth, a bandage squeezing his head. Slowly propping himself up against the metal bed board, he turned to see the Squad 11 lieutenant sitting next to him, in the visitor's chair. She broke into a radiant smile when he gave her a questioning look.
"Hi Snowy! You're awake!" Her loud voice seemed to rival a drill sergeant's in Hitsugaya's injured head. Plugging his ears, he supplied her with a dirty look.
"Don't talk so loud!" Lying back down, he stared at the cement ceiling. "So what happened to me, anyway?"
Yachiru's smile, for once, disappeared. "Um... You don't remember?"
Hitsugaya turned his face to her. Her long pink hair, tied back in a ponytail, had a smattering of blood on it. "No, why?" He dearly hoped he hadn't gotten blindsided by a hollow, getting rescued by a lieutenant. That would be extremely embarrassing - the other captains already treated him like a child, he would never be able to shut them up now.
Yachiru scratched the side of her head with a slim finger. "Well..." She started, looking towards the ceiling, "Ikindaknockedyouout is all."
"Come again?"
"I just kinda attackedyou."
"What?"
Yachiru let out a little grunt. "I said I attacked you, okay?" As she flew up, she knocked the chair over and ran out of the room.
What was this feeling? Whenever her victims ended up wounded, joy flooded through her - but now she was feeling something different. A deep weight formed in her stomach as her usually happy face drooped. Is this what Tattoo-face called guilt?
Back in the lonely hospital room, Hitsugaya's mouth curved into a smirk. "So I guess she didn't get her position by smiling cutely at Head Captain Yamamoto after all." Lying back down, he made a note in his mind to talk to the little lieutenant before being quickly engulfed by light, childish snores.