Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to 'Merlin'. All rights go to the BBC.
Oh, and please, no one get offended by the God thing. No offence intended.
Is There A God Up There?
Why is life so cruel? Is there a God up there? Does he revel in the pain of others? Does he enjoy watching people suffer?
I wonder if he knows what it's like to see a brother in everything but blood fade away? Fade to a hopeless mass of despair and pain. Because that's what I'm doing.
It's killing me. It's killing me watching my friend kill himself. But there is nothing I can do. He's gone beyond my help. It's infuriating beyond all belief to have so much power and magic and not be able to do anything.
I see him fighting through the day, every day. He does it only because he knows it's what she would want. It's the only thought keeping him going. Just barely though.
He doesn't sleep. Plagued with memories of her death, he doesn't sleep. His eyes are sunken into the black circles surrounding them. His skin clings tightly to his bones but his muscles are still there.
He keeps training, he never stops. I try to make him stop, but he won't listen. Says he can't let another innocent person die because he wasn't strong enough.
But he's not strong enough. He's so weak. He is a shadow of the prince he used to be. He's not allowed to grieve, not allowed to honour her memory for the king will not allow it. That hurts him almost as much as her death.
I want him to cry. I want him to let all the pain out. But he won't. Won't show emotion. He's holding it all in. He's an explosion waiting to happen. And when it does break free, it will break him, and the mighty kingdom will fall. Camelot's end is near.
My name is Merlin, and for once destiny is out of my hands...
Thank you for reading :)