Characters: Kushina
Summary: What was once her pride is now a source of shame.
Pairings: None
Author's Note: Children can be so cruel. This is before Minato ever compliments her hair, and if her mindset seems a little extreme, I would like to point out that children—at least in my opinion—tend to deal in absolutes. I am also aware that in certain parts of the world having red hair can get you much the same treatment as Kushina receives; personally, I hope I don't hit any sore spots with this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
In Uzushiogakure, the Uzumaki ruled, and Kushina never felt the hand of insecurity or shame ever touch her. Yes, she was—and is—a shameless child; she's unafraid to admit it. She's never thrown tantrums because it's beneath her dignity as the daughter of the village leader, but she has an insatiable curiosity and a hot temper and she's unafraid of showing it.
Anyone who ever saw her though, didn't comment on her temper or her at times inappropriate behavior, even if they saw it and noticed it plain as day. They always remarked upon how pretty Kushina was, how vibrant, how lively.
Kushina knew why, though no one ever said it explicitly.
In Uzushio, she could be proud of her long scarlet hair. Many of the Uzumaki had red hair (and if not red, usually some shade of golden, like her father had), and in Kushina it was nothing more or less than a sign that she was a true child of the Uzumaki. It was a source of pride for Kushina, something that immediately marked her as being one of the ruling class, more definitively than any jewel or fine cloth ever could.
Kushina never imagined that she would ever have reason to believe otherwise.
That was before Konohagakure.
Konoha is different from Uzushio. In Uzushio, even when it rains—and it rains often—the city seems soft and either silver or gold, depending on the cast of the light. Puddles on the stone walkways reflected the light and glimmered like mirrors.
Konoha is just… gray, when it rains. Gray and dingy. More than that, at least in Kushina's eyes, when it's not raining, everything seems too bright. Garish, artificial, like a little girl who's gotten into her mother's makeup and had put too much on.
But apparently, even in this town of too-bright colors, her hair is too bright for Konoha.
The experience of being bullied is for Kushina new and not at all pleasant. What's even more unpleasant is what she's bullied over.
"God, what awful hair! What do you do, dip it in blood every night?"
The words are spoken by a girl Kushina's age, who looks at her with scorn and contempt and strokes her own mouse brown curls as she smirks, as though her dull hair is something to be proud of, Kushina registers with a sick, angry feeling rising like bile in her stomach.
And that girl's not the only one.
In Uzushio, Kushina is a princess. In Konoha, she's just a penniless foreigner with no family and no prospects, and Konoha has never been kind to foreigners.
Apparently, its children don't like red hair, either.
Kushina doesn't know why her hair makes her a proper target of bullying and taunting and jeers to anyone; she's not sure that they know, either. Occasionally, her temper overflows and those who laugh and point and mock her find themselves quite red all over. It never helps. If anything, it makes it worse.
"Just like a redhead."
"Look, her face gets red too!"
"Bloody Habanero!"
'Foreigner' is shrieked at her too, xenophobia in just one of its many forms. No one ever tries to come to her aid—the schoolteachers avert their eyes when the mocking comes, and only react to punish Kushina when she resorts to violence ("I don't care if they were saying things about your hair. That doesn't give you a right to hit them." And that the teacher's right makes it even harder to hear). Kushina doesn't tell the one woman who might be sympathetic a thing. Mito is powerless, and Mito can't do anything to help her.
Kushina knows Mito had red hair in her youth. Bitterly, she decides that Mito was probably never ridiculed over it. The village had other things to ostracize Mito over.
Kushina feels the years pass like salt water breaking unkindly across her flesh, scouring her pale, tender skin. The jeers continue, though they become more subtle and less obvious as she gets older. She's never noticed that the adults don't join in. It doesn't occur to her that maybe this will stop once she is grown and all of her peers are grown as well.
She's been called ugly so many times that it can be hard to remember at times that she used to think herself as beautiful. Kushina can't see beauty in the dingy bathroom mirror when all she sees is masses upon masses of violent red hair.
Dye jobs are invariably botched. Cutting never works, because the hair just grows back. And Kushina has too much pride to go around bald.
But Kushina can remember, as she looks in the mirror, and holds a strand of wet hair in her hands.
She remembers.
She used to love this hair.
Now, her insecurity devours her. Now, Kushina's red hair is nothing more or less than a source of shame, her deepest shame, and Kushina wishes she could have mouse brown hair like the girl who first mocked her.
Anything to be different.