OMCHEESE TREMORS GIRL MADE A BATMAN! Hush. I love these idiots. Sassy Alfred gives me life. Enjoy the small blurb, and I may make more.

I thought this up last night as I was tryin' to fall asleep (my mind overwhelmed with all the crap going on in the world and especially Ferguson, I mean really). It amused me, so I decided to write it down today (with some changes, but shh, you don't know that).

Also, I'm not really all that into Thanksgiving (I've had conflicted feelings about it since I was a kid, ever since I learned about what happened to the natives. like, I get why it started, but why keep doing it? I don't get it). But it's still fun to write about the weirdness that happens. Or can happen. Or that we quill-brandishing creepers make happen.

*Edit* Oh, and if you Jangus is readin' this: I know, I know. I'm workin' on it. El Blanco ate my brain, what can ya do?

EDIT EDIT: This was a separate story, but then I changed it to Bat Blurbs since there is more, so yeah. All that juicy details is in the next chapter, 'cause I-...just, I, never mind, just read.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own the show The Batman or its characters. They are the property of DC. I make no profit from this writing.

Bruce returns home to murder and mayhem. No humans were harmed in the making of this story (also, do not ask me who Joey is, I don't know).

A Thanksgiving Catastrophe

It was a quiet day at the Wayne Manor. Dick was home from school for Thanksgiving and helping Alfred prepare their feast. Bruce had gone to pick up his old friend, Joey, from the airport, who he hadn't seen in several years. He was looking forward to catching up.

In the kitchen, Dick and Alfred were nearing the end of their preparation. They had nearly every traditional Thanksgiving food there was; turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, stuffing, green bean casserole, corn on the cob, candied yams.

Alfred was currently putting the final touches on the turkey while Dick worked on the potatoes. Too short to properly reach from the floor, he was kneeling on the edge of the island, struggling with the mixer. Grunting in frustration, he gripped the handle with both hands, plopped the beaters into the potatoes, and used both his thumbs to wrestle the switch over. Alfred cast a glance at him.

"Is that thing stuck again?"

"Yes," Dick hissed, his teeth gritted with exertion. "It won't-!"

The switch finally moved, shooting up to the highest speed. The bowl exploded and Dick fell back off the island with a scream.

The cry echoed through the house, greeting Bruce's ears as he stepped inside. He froze for a second, exchanging a puzzled and worried glance with his friend. Alfred's horrified shout followed, along with the sound of crashing and banging. Bruce and Joe raced towards the kitchen, Bruce running through a list of villains who could've figured out where he lived.

Silence fell just moments before he reached the kitchen door. He skidded to a stop, Joey nearly colliding with his back. They both stared at the wrecked room with wide eyes.

Potato chunks, cranberry sauce, green beans, and what Bruce hoped was gravy covered the walls, counters, cabinets, ceiling, and the two frozen figures. Most of the food had been knocked off, the pumpkin pie just barely clinging to the edge of the island. Dick was knelt beneath it among fallen bowls of food, clutching the mixer tightly, as if he was afraid it would run. Alfred stood on the other side, holding the plug in his hand and looking frazzled.

Bruce looked slowly between them, unable to find the words to ask what on earth had happened. After several tense moments, Alfred cleared his throat, drawing himself up and trying to regain his usual calm demeanor.

"It would seem we are in need of another mixer, sir," he said. The moment of quiet was broken by the pie falling and landing squarely on Dick's head, who still crouched frozen on the floor. Alfred stared at the empty spot the pie had been before looking back at Bruce. "And…perhaps we could eat out tonight?"

Lemme know how ya like it! And shout out if you would like me to dabble more into this fandom.