Prompt: Meeting online AU

Characters: Swarkles

She absolutely hates her friends for making her do this. OkCupid sucks. She has no idea what she was thinking when she agreed to let them sign her up for this.

She's never been interested in dating guys for the long term. She's much more interested in her career. Yet somehow, she ended up on this website anyway, against her better judgment. She figures she can appease her friends, and meet a hot guy for sex in the process.

It's the third profile she clicks on that really catches her interest. He's incredibly attractive, and yet- his profile- it's almost too good to be true.

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: Balloon explorer, millionaire, CEO, puppy rescuer, massive penis.

"Yeah, right," she scoffs.

But he's hot, if that is his real picture, and apparently up for a lay.

So she messages him. It's not like she really has anything to lose.

He doesn't know what tempts him to look at his OkCupid account that day. He only has it as backup for when things aren't going well at the bar. But that is far from the case. He's been having a great week, but for some reason, he signs in.

And what he finds, it's almost too good to be true. A girl that loves scotch, guns, and smoking cigars messaged HIM? And she's got hot picture on top of it? No, he thinks. Something has to be fake. There is no way an actual girl could have a profile like that. No. Not at all.

He reads the message he types over and over again- Hey there. Want to meet for some scotch and fun sometime?

She sounds like just the kind of girl he'd date; if he dated, that is, but he doesn't date.

Yet, she seems amazing. What's the harm in a little fun? If it doesn't work out, he can just lemon law her later.

Sure, babe. Saturday night? I know just the place. A little bar on 78th called MacLaren's.

He waltzes in the door, and sees quite a hottie in a green turtleneck sitting at the bar. He would say she was out of his league, if he wasn't in a league of his own. He approaches her, completely forgetting for a moment about the girl from OkCupid.

"Hundred bucks says when you turn around…" he purrs into her ear.

"You say wow?" she replies sarcastically. "How old is that pick up line?" She glances as the figure behind her in the suit, only to realize that he's the exact person she is waiting for. "Oh. It's you."

He's shocked. It's her. Not only is this girl hot, and cool, but somehow, she's challenging.

"Hey there…"

"Hi…" she draws out with skepticism while extending her hand. "Lorenzo…"

"Robin," he returns, grabbing her hand and shaking.

"So...that's quite a profile you've got... What's your real name?" she asks, calling him out.

"My real name?" he recoils, shocked by the idea that someone can see right through him.

"Yeah, your real name," she says impatiently, arms crossed.

"Like everything in your profile is true," he scoffs, adjusting his tie to make himself feel better.

"Well, yeah," she utters. She's not the kind of person that would lie on a site like that. Besides, why would she have to lie? To make herself more girly so guys with the wrong idea would message her? No thanks.

"Fine then," he challenges. "Tell me your favorite scotch."

"Easy. Glen McKenna 35 year. Full amber, smooth, with a hint of spice."

"Cigar?"

"Montecristo number two, aka the torpedo. Or, as the rollers call it, Piramide."

"Fine," he sighs, giving into her request. "Barney. Barney Stinson," he announces, as he reaches his hand out again.

"Still Robin."

"Great," he replies, more nervous than ever. This girl will be a challenge, and for once, he doesn't think the challenge is all about the sex. He wants to know this girl. "So... Um... You want to go get one of those torpedoes and a scotch?"

"Yeah. Why not?" she shrugs, picking up her handbag. "It's been a long time since I've had anyone to enjoy a smoke with."

"Great. I know just the place."