"A Pyrope stands tall. Don't slouch, don't slump, and make sure you smile. No, not like that, for heaven's sake, Terezi how many times must we go over this?"

I'd heard this conversation a dozen times and I tried my best each and every single time, but my best was never enough. Mom never wanted my best, anyway. She wanted perfection, and I couldn't give that to her.

A Pyrope stands tall.

Pyropes are clever and smarter than their enemy and must show it.

A Pyrope never shows weakness.

Pyropes dominate the courthouse.

A Pyrope always gives their best.

Pyropes never take no for an answer.

It was pretty much the same every time, and she never wasted a day not telling me. But I knew what she really wanted to say. It was in her eyes whenever she took off her shades, the larger version of the ones I wore, only she didn't need them because she was disabled, she only wore them to match her clothing. It was in her voice whenever she gave me the Pyrope speech. It was always there in the back of her mind, even if she wouldn't say it.

A Pyrope shouldn't be blind.

A Pyrope would never allow this to happen.

A Pyrope wouldn't be such a disappointment to her family.

She never spoke it, but I knew she thought it. At least Latula had the good sense to go to college and get away from this hive. Well, that's what Mom believed anyway. I knew from Sollux that it wasn't the truth, not at all. In reality, she spent her time at the skateparks on the other side of Alternia. She was in love with a skater who was head over heels for her, from what I hear. If the guy hadn't been the brother of one of my closest friends, I would never have known what she was really up to. She was smart not to tell me directly. Mom would have been put me on trial immediately if she suspected I was lying for my sister. Luckily, I was able to dance around the truth. It was never a lie with me, but I knew different.

"Did Latula reach out to you? How is she?"

"She says she's fine."

Or

"When is Latula coming to visit?"

"She says she won't be coming home for spring break, something about studying for finals."

It was always true, in a sense. My sister did tell me those things, just like I told my mom. I just happened to know the truth behind those words. And truly, I envied her. She got her chance to leave and she took it. I was still in high school, I didn't have the option to escape yet and mom was suffocating me with her pressure for me to follow in her footsteps.

A legacy of legislacerators.

That's what she wanted us to be, all three of us. That was what she believed Latula was doing, studying for the career field our mother was top notch in. That's what she believed I would do when the opportunity came.

For five sweeps, I had this drilled into my head. Even on my wriggling day, every sweep, she reminded me, "Happy wriggling day, sweetie. You're one year closer to being a legislacerator."

She wanted that for me, for all of us. I never knew anything else, and it got to a point where I started to believe everything she said.

A Pyrope stands tall.

I never slouched, never slumped.

Pyropes are clever and smarter than their enemy and must show it.

I didn't have an enemy yet, but I knew when the time came, I would be cleverer, smarter, and outwit them.

A Pyrope never shows weakness.

My blindness never bothered me anyway, so that was always easy. Learning how to use my other senses to my advantage, I was never seen as weak. I could walk through a construction site and exit without a single scratch on me.

Pyropes dominate the courthouse.

I knew I would, when the time came.

A Pyrope always gives their best.

I always gave my best.

Pyropes never take no for an answer.

And I never did.

For five whole sweeps, I tried to be the troll my mother would have been proud of had I not been blind. And it was tiresome, I will admit. From my friends' perspective, I really wanted this for myself. And eventually, I really did.

But that was because of him, not her.

Halfway into my 5th sweep, I met Gamzee Makara.

It was during a LARP session, but he wasn't partaking in it. LARPing was one of the few indulgences I allowed myself to have when my mother wasn't around. Before the session had started, Karkat had showed up and warned us about his new friend he'd met a few weeks before. The guy was supposed to fit right in with us, and he made sure to be very explicit about us not mentioning any pets. Apparently, Gamzee's pet goat had ran away first chance it got when he turned his back to the gate and the boy was supposed to be really attached to it. I felt sorry for him. If Justice ever ran away from me, I would be devastated. I loved my komodo dragon more than I loved cherries, and I really love cherries.

When he showed up later, he was calmer than I thought he would be. Mellow and.. dazed. His eyes looked glazed over, and he never seemed to stare at anyone for too long, almost as if he couldn't really see us. At the time, I thought he was just upset over his pet, even if he smiled through the introductions. Now, I know he was drugged up on sopor slime.

I remember my 5 sweeps old self walking over to him to shake his hand. He looked at me, nodded and sat down on the grass. For some reason, that bothered me.

"I'm Terezi." My hand was left in the air, outstretched, waiting for a shake back. I never got it.

His eyes just looked over my hand and he smiled in a goofy manner, nodding as he glanced down, seemingly more fascinated by the spots on his own pants than what I was saying.

"That's all nice." It sounded like he wasn't even paying attention.

"Do you LARP?" I was trying to be friendly.

"Nope."

"Do you do anything for fun?"

"Nope."

He looked like he didn't care about anything, and he was perfectly happy about it. It looked like.. he was happy doing nothing. And I couldn't understand that as a child. I felt like I had to rub it in, what I was dressed as.

"Well I'm LARPing as a legislacerator, and I'm going to be one when I grow up! Just like my mom."

"That's all nice."

I gave up on the conversation and went back to fighting with Vriska. But it still bothered me, at least for a few more days.

The next time I saw him, I was 6 sweeps old and he had just transferred to our school. Karkat had spent half a sweep trying to convince him to transfer. They'd started a deep friendship that the rest of us never understood. Well, I didn't at least. Karkat was still angry as ever, shouting like he was known for even with Gamzee. But Gamzee never seemed to mind, then again, neither did we.

That year, I had one class with him. And it was more than I could take.

He sat behind me in history. Every time a question was asked, I raised my hand. He never did.

Every time I answered, I was correct. He never answered.

And he never cared.

It wasn't like he didn't care because he didn't like school, it was just that he simply did not care. Gamzee never cared about anything, ever. While I was vying with Vriska for teacher's pet, he was taking naps. Every day it was the same thing.

And he never came prepared. No books, no pencils, not even a ruler.

One time he asked me what time it was, his finger tapped my shoulder, startling me. The school sweep was almost over and this was the first time he'd talked to me since our first interaction.

"Hey sis, you know what motherfuckin time it is?"

"I'm not your sister." Then I turned back around and paid attention to the lesson being taught.

And that was the end of that.

One sweep year later was the start of high school. We hadn't spoken much since, but I did see him around more often. Gamzee was always with Karkat, and Karkat was always with the rest of us. By now, everyone had gotten to know the taller kid pretty well and he was accepted easily. I didn't speak to him if I could help it. I also couldn't understand why I disliked him so much, but I knew that I did.

We didn't have any classes together that year, much to my relief.

About a month after school had started, I was left stranded. Mother told me I could walk home from now on, which I was perfectly okay with. The walk through the forest was calm and soothing anyway, and I got to sniff the flowers by the hive without her seeing me as 'distracted' and scolding me for it.

But I couldn't walk home that day because it was raining. It hadn't rained all sweep, so naturally everyone was thrilled, running down the street and jumping in puddles. I did not join them. No one really notices that rain has a strong smell, but I do. When I'm home and sitting on a tree branch, shielded from the drops, it smells lovely. But right now, it was an obstacle for me. The scent of rain was overwhelming, rendering my sense of smell useless. If I couldn't smell my surroundings, I couldn't get home. It didn't matter that I'd walked the same route for a month straight, I just couldn't think right feeling so vulnerable.

A Pyrope stands tall.

I was curled up with my back against the wall of the school and my forehead resting against my knees, trying not to burst into tears. With the rain drops cascading down my face, I don't think anyone would have been able to tell anyway.

Pyropes are clever and smarter than their enemy and must show it.

I was not clever right now. I didn't feel smart. I felt like an idiot for not even bringing an umbrella.

A Pyrope never shows weakness.

My outer shell was cracking under this sudden unforeseen dilemma. It was such a small problem and yet it was so big for me.

Pyropes dominate the courthouse.

How could I dominate a courthouse when I failed to conquer a little bit of rain?

A Pyrope always gives their best.

I was giving up.

Pyropes never take no for an answer.

There was nothing I could do.

I had not a clue of how to get home and I felt my chest tightening at this failure. Mother would be so disappointed if she saw me right now. It took me a few second to realize that I couldn't feel the rain on me anymore and there was a looming shadow over me. When I turned my head up, I could smell a strong grape scent.

"You look like you need a hand, sis."

One of his hands was holding a large umbrella, the other was extended to help me up. I ignored it and stood on my own, shivering slightly. It just came to my attention now that my hair was dripping wet and my clothes were soaked.

"I don't need your help." A Pyrope never shows weakness. I crossed my arms over my chest to hide my shaking hands.

"That's all up and motherfuckin okay." Gamzee gave that lazy wide smile, handing me the umbrella. "There, now I'm not helping you. You can all hold it while we walk, sis."

"I'm not your sis." But I started walking anyway, and he started to follow alongside me. It was silent for the entire walk. I didn't say a word, but he was humming the entire time. I never asked how he knew where I lived. I never questioned why he walked me. He never asked why I was crying but I knew he knew.

When we got to my hive, I handed him back the umbrella and went inside without another word. But the second the door closed, I ran upstairs and looked at him from one of my hidden branches, watching him leave. The smile never left his face, but it left me more confused than ever. I was still sitting on that branch an hour, trying to figure why he did that when my mother came up and looked at me. I could feel her piercing stare through both of our shades. She was quiet for a full minute.

"Stay away from that boy."

And then she left.

That day, I didn't question why she wanted me to avoid him, but I told myself I would.

That day, I was so wrong. I didn't know what would happen in the sweeps to come.

That day, she told me to stay away. She didn't ask me what I wanted. She didn't ask me if I wanted to be his friend (even though I didn't), because to her it didn't matter. If I had told her I wanted to hang out with him, she would have told me no. And it would have been the end of that discussion.

But as I grew older, I learned something. I learned that she instilled a very important motto in me. One that I would end up using against her.

Because despite what she told me, despite her disapproval of Gamzee, I found that I would end up going against her word, against her no.

Because Pyropes never take no for an answer.