Warnings: Very brief language and angst

"What'd you say?
Oh that you only meant well
Well, of course you did
What'd you say?
Oh that it's all for the best
Of course it is
What'd you say?
That it's just what we need
And you decided this."

-Imogen Heap, 'Hide and Seek'

Fire and Ice
Icy Remains

It happens in the dead of winter. The wind is brutal with its night chill and the light snow flakes stick to skin and hair. Sam doesn't mind, the cold slows his pounding heart.

He wants Dean with him, wants to feel his brother's reassurance and comfort. But Dean isn't there. He isn't even on earth anymore.

Dean is in hell.

Earth had been falling apart at the seams. Lucifer was tearing holes in it, causing death and destruction equivalent to some of the greatest disasters of the past century. Sam and Dean had been fighting it as best as they could, losing people along the way and watching pieces of their faith disappear with every small battle.

That had been in November. It's December now, three days before Christmas.

They didn't mean to find Lucifer. Some times Sam wonders if Lucifer meant to find them. There had been activity in Washington that signaled something big was brewing, ritual big or demon clan big. Sam and Dean chased the lead and found out that it was big alright, Lucifer big.

That fight led to Lucifer using Dean as collateral. He sent Sam's big brother back to hell.

It hadn't been fair and Sam was quick to point that out between sobs, and shouts of anger and pain. He had promised never to lie, never to trick. Lucifer reminded that fairness was never part of the deal.

Sam wondered (and begged, pleaded, and screamed) where the hell the archangels were. Dean was Michael's vessel, the most powerful and most respected archangel in heaven, so where was he? Why wasn't he protecting his vessel? Sam has to believe that if the archangels were able, they would've been there to stop Lucifer from sending Dean back to hell.

He tried to hang on for two weeks. For two weeks he tried to keep the tears at bay and soldiered on like Dean would've wanted. He tried to fight the apocalypse and protect the few precious things they had left. But he couldn't. He couldn't fight when he knew what was happening to Dean in hell. He couldn't live. And Lucifer, the conniving son of a bitch, knew that.

That's why he's here, feet shuffling through fluffy snow on empty streets, hands shaking, eyes watering. That's why when Lucifer showed up in his dreams the previous night and said, "You know where to find me Sam, if you're ready," he knew where to go.

Michigan Central Station in Detroit has been empty and closed for over twenty years. Its eighteen stories tower over the streets, looming like a silent monster. Sam enters without a second thought. He can see his breath inside the building as his footsteps echo in the silence. The building is massive with Roman inspired architecture and floor to ceiling windows. Leaves and debris litter the floor, graffiti decorates the walls and the pillars, and foliage grows from a few cracks in the cement. Sam's happy that his last few moments as himself are going to be in some place beautiful.

Lucifer's waiting for him in what used to be the lobby. Hands behind his back, small smile on his face, victory and sympathy all rolled in one. It makes Sam's stomach lurch.

"He'll come back, right? You'll bring Dean back and erase what he remembers of hell?" It's more of a demand than a question and underneath the strength, there's obvious fear in Sam's voice.

"I keep my promises," Lucifer replies easily.

Sam draws as much comfort from the idea of Dean being returned to earth, safe and sound, as he can. He hadn't been able to save his brother from hell the first time. Now, he'd be damned if he let Dean burn if he had any way to stop it. He doesn't want to be Lucifer's meat suit. He doesn't want to let Dean down. He doesn't want it to come down to him against Dean. He doesn't want to die. But more than all of that he doesn't want to face the end of the world, or even the salvation of the world, if Dean isn't there with him. Not again. Not this time.

Lucifer cocks his head and his smile growing bigger.

Sam tears his eyes away from Satan. Outside the wind howls and the snow falls harder. Everything is covered with a thick layer of sparkling white. The pureness of it makes Sam's breath catch. Sam fights the tears that want to falls as he swallows down his terror, and looks back to Lucifer. He knows that it can't be prolonged anymore.

"Will you let me in, Sam? Will you let me carry you to your destiny, what you were born to do?"

Breathe in. out.

"Yes."