Rain streamed down the thin pane of the motel window as it had done for the past several hours. The thrumming of the torrent did little but act as a natural lullaby for the sleeping hunter in the stuffy motel room.

Dean had fallen asleep with a mug of whiskey in his hand, face down on a pile of newspapers at the table looking out onto a dark, wet parking-lot.

A patrol car sped by the motel, splashing through the many puddles, with it's siren screaming.

"Cas"

Dean's rambling dream broke and he bolted upright in his chair. He widened his eyes and stretched his jaw, waking his features as his mind de-fogged a little; his back groaned at his choice of sleeping situation.

"Dreamt about him again, huh?"

For a moment Dean sat and stared at his reflection in the window. He looked tired against the blackness outside, his stubble a shadow on his face.

He combed his fingers roughly through his hair and pushed his chair back. Standing a little too quickly, he leant on the desk. His back really wasn't happy with him.

Blowing out a deep breath he turned to see Sam slumped back on one of the beds, remote in hand.

"Yeah", Deans jaw tightened.

Admitting to his recurring dreams just made them worse. Although 'dream' was probably the wrong way to describe what he was seeing when he closed his eyes. It was more of a montage of memories. Flashes of the grey, suffocating surroundings of Purgatory; of Cas crouched by a river; Cas covered in dirt; Cas falling from his grip...

"Dean?" Sam sat up and turned the TV off, "Dean?"

"Yeah, what? I'm good, I'm-" Dean sighed, tired.

Looking down at the desk he found the mug of liquor and picked it up.

Catching Sam's frown, he shrugged "what? I'm fine", he said defensively as he gulped down the mug's contents, "honestly. I'm okay."

He stood and wandered round to his bed where a bottle of whiskey stood on the bedside table.

"My back is pissed at me for falling asleep at a desk. By the way, why didn't you stop me or wake me up?" he asked as he waved the hand clasping the mug back towards the desk, "that's cruel and unusual dude."

"Dean you were comatose when I got back, no way I was waking you."

Sam watched his brother perch on the bed and pour himself another measure of liquor. He knew it was a coping mechanism and he knew what his brother was trying to cope with, so he said nothing. Dean would stop in his own time. Whenever that would be.

"Did you find anything?" Sam nodded at the newspapers that Dean had fallen asleep on. He'd been searching for anything new on their missing persons case.

"No. Nothing, nada, nil." Dean sighed and hung his head, watching the whiskey journey around the bottom of his mug as he swirled it distractedly.

Working had been good. Working had kept his mind occupied; kept the churning guilt in check. But this job was starting to annoy him. They had several missing people with no connections, crazy demon activity and no leads. It sucked.

He placed the mug on the table with the bottle and rubbed his eyes. The clock sitting there told him it was just before midnight. He yawned and walked over to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He stood in the stillness, leaning on the basin, head hanging down. He was tired. Not physically, but emotionally. Weeks had passed since he'd returned from Purgatory and his body had adjusted and recovered from the hell he'd put it through.

But his mind, however, had not. Far from it.

He had tried, every single day, to put it behind him; to close the whole experience off and move forward. But he couldn't. When he thought about his fight through Purgatory, the stink of the place, the heavy air…his stomach churned. And when he thought about Cas still being trapped there…

He shuddered and clamped his eyes shut. "Pull yourself together dude," he chided himself.

But the truth was, he didn't really want to pull himself together. He didn't want to let go of the guilt he was feeling, he couldn't let go of it, because it was a burden he felt had to bear.

It was all his fault. It was his fault that Cas was stuck in that hellish place, surrounded by monsters waiting to kill him. His fault that Cas was alone in a world of pure evil and darkness that could kill him without effort.

"Dammit Cas", he hit the rim of the basin with his palm.

Forcing himself to let go of the brewing anger he filled the basin with cold water and washed it over his face, trying to calm himself down. Feeling around for a towel, his fingers found a soft pile of something and he dragged a motel towel up to his face and patted himself dry. Looking up into the mirror he glanced over his shoulder in the reflection, recalling the Angel's numerous impromptu visits with a small smile.

"Hello Dean."

Dean spun around, his back to the mirror, gripping the edge of the basin.

"What the hell?!"

There was no-one there. No Cas. He was alone in the small bathroom…going crazy. But it had sounded just like-

"Dean? You OK? … Dean?" Sam's voice carried through the cheap bathroom door.

"Yeah, yeah… I'm-" going fruit loops, he thought.

"I'm cool" he told his brother, looking back into the mirror, "just being haunted by a freaking Angel" he said to himself. He closed his eyes and let out a deep, slow breath, cursing his choice of words. He wasn't being haunted by Cas, that would imply…

"Yeah, well… " he didn't want to think about that and he threw the towel down, opting to push the hallucination or whatever it was out of his mind. He opened the door and joined his brother, who was once again laid out watching TV.

The static fuzzed on the TV screen casting an eerie, flickering light over the room. Dean was sat back against his pillows at the head of his bed, laptop across his knees. He was staring at the internet page but taking nothing in. His mind was in the past, travelling down the interstate the day before…seeing Cas walking along the side of the road…

It was only for a moment but he had seen him. He was wearing his trench, covered in dirt, just about staying up on his feet as he'd ambled along the road. When Dean had registered and got out of the Impala, he'd gone. But it had been Cas. It had.

Dean sighed and closed the laptop, looking over to Sam who was fast asleep. He stretched and shoved the laptop off of himself before lazily walking over to the TV and switching the crackling screen off. It was still raining outside and now thunder rolled overhead. A flash of lightening cast a brief brilliant light over the dim room.

And Dean saw him.

In the brief seconds of brightness from the crack of lightening, he saw Cas. Just standing there outside of the motel window, looking in at him. And just as quickly he was gone.

Dean sprinted to the window but saw nothing except for the rain and his own confused reflection. He took a couple of steps back and rubbed his hands over his face.

Sam stirred and saw his brothers shock.

"Dean, what's going on, you alright?" He climbed out of bed and joined Dean in looking out of the window.

"I, uh, I saw something…I saw -" He looked at Sam, unsure how crazy his brother would think he was, "I saw Cas."

"Cas?" Sam asked softly.

Dean faced the window again, "and on the road the other day, I – I keep seeing him."

"Dean, that's not possible, I mean you said yourself, you got out and…and he didn't."

Dean felt it all begin to bubble up inside him; the guilt; the sadness; the anger…

"I tried so damn hard to get us the hell outta there."

"I know you did," Sam's eyes were full of pain for his brother.

"You know I could've pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder." Tears collected in the corners of his eyes.

"Dean, you did everything you could."

"Yeah well then, why do I feel like crap?" He turned to his brother, wanting an answer, an explanation.

"Survivors guilt?" Sam shrugged sadly, "if you let it, this is going to keep messing with you, you've gotta walk past it," he squeezed Dean's shoulder and left him to mull over his thoughts alone.

Dean heard the bathroom door shut. He closed his eyes and ruffled his hair, "gah, this sucks!"

He grabbed his coat and swung it on, leaving the motel room and slamming the door behind him.

The heavy rain streamed down his face and he stood there and let it. He just stood outside the motel room, letting the rain wash over him as if it would wash away the crappiness he felt in his gut.

The only noise was their footsteps tramping through the rotting grey leaves on the ground. The heavy, stinking air, burned through Dean's lungs with every breath he took. It was painful just to exist in this place. Then again, he wasn't supposed to exist in this place was he?

Benny strode in front of him and Cas trailed behind as they moved ever closer to the breach. He was tired. So unbelievably tired. Cas and Benny were grousing at each other again like a broken record which pained his head. His arms ached from shoulder blade to finger tip, his legs screamed with every step he forced upon them but he was not giving up. He was not going to die here. None of them were.

"Dean, it's a human portal. There's still no proof that an Angel can pass."

Cas had argued this point for what seemed like an age.

"Stow it Cas, you're coming, that's final."

He didn't mean to snap at Castiel but his whole being was burning in this hell hole. He needed to get out.

"I'm just saying-"

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder, he stopped and looked round at Cas. The dishevelled Angel looked beat. Ready to fall where he stood. Dean tried to hide his concern.

"If it doesn't work...well, thank you. For everything." Castiel's eyes read like a book of sadness and goodbyes, Dean couldn't deal with it.

"Save the Hallmark, okay? It's gonna work. Nobody gets left behind!"

He stormed ahead, angry at Cas for being so defeatist. Angry at Purgatory for doing this to them. Angry at Dick freaking Roman and his army of monsters. Angry at himself for being stuck here. He was just so damn angry!

Dean shivered, his body shaking him from his waking nightmare. He was soaking wet. He stood for a moment, waiting for the memory of Purgatory to fade away before turning and letting himself back into the motel room.

Sam was back in bed, asleep. He quietly draped his dripping jacket on the back of a chair and headed to the bathroom to fetch a towel. He walked back to his bed rubbing his hair half heartedly and kicked his boots off.

Sitting on the edge of the bed he wondered if he would ever stop thinking about Purgatory; would he ever get over losing Cas; would he ever really accept that he had gone?

Sighing, he flopped back onto the pillows, fully expecting to be up and pacing the room in twenty minutes. Hearing voices and seeing Angels was kind of playing on his mind.

He rolled over to look out of the window where Cas had appeared to him and his eyes closed. He was asleep before he could call himself a nut job.

The rush of water from the shower stopped and he heard the familiar crumple of a shower curtain being folded back and feet padding onto the floor.

Dean rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock on the bedside table, it read 10:43.

Stretching out, he pushed the covers down the bed and swung his legs over the side, wriggling his toes into the carpet. He reached over and grabbed a bottle of water from the table and gulped half of it's room temperature contents down.

The bathroom door opened and steam poured through into the room.

"Good morning, Dean"

The Angels voice was lighter than usual.

"Morning yourself," Dean replied, smiling.

Castiel rubbed his hair with one of the motels white towels. It matched his crisp white shirt. The same crisp white shirt that Dean thought he'd ripped last night. He shrugged and put it's miraculous repair down to Cas's Angel mojo.

"Wait, did you just shower?" Dean asked confusedly, suddenly registering how odd that was for an Angel.

"Yes. I was -" Cas paused, head tilted into his towel covered hand, obviously searching for the right wording, "dirty" he finished, draping the towel over a radiator.

"Yes. Yes you were," Dean chuckled at his own innuendo but Cas just looked at him, not getting the joke.

"You meant - and then I meant –- ahh, never mind."

Castiel walked over to Dean and stood in front of him, taking the bottle of water from him.

"Do you plan on getting dressed at all?" He asked, gesturing at Deans appearance with the bottle.

Dean glanced down at himself in his briefs and white t-shirt, "nope" he grinned, "do you plan on getting undressed at all?"

Castiel instinctively smiled but tried to hide it by drinking some water that he didn't need.

"Why are you all suited and booted anyway? You've only just got back, you ahh… you going somewhere?"

Castiel opened his arms and looked down at himself as if to check what he was wearing.

Dean hoped he didn't sound desperate, but he really needed Cas to stay. He needed to know Cas wanted to stay.

"Why would I be going anywhere?" He looked at Dean, sincerity shining in his eyes, "I've just got home."

Cas leant over and placed the bottle of water back on the bedside table. As he did so, Dean inhaled the scent of cinnamon and watermelon that the Angel seemed to carry with him everywhere he went.

Dean impulsively reached up and brushed Castiel's jawline with the tips of his fingers.

The touch ignited a chain reaction.

Deans chest began thumping feverishly as Cas pressed his lips firmly against his; wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, tilting Dean's face upwards.

His head swam with nothing and everything as he gladly accepted Cas's probing tongue into his mouth. The sweet taste of the Angel was still new to him, but it was, for lack of a better word, heavenly.

Deans hands groped at the front of Castiel's trench, pulling him closer, not wanting the bond between them to break. He wanted more, he wanted the Angel with every ounce of his being and it scared him, but in a good way. A really good way.

Dragging Cas with him he fell back onto the bed.

"Lose this," he gasped, tugging at the trench.

"Gladly," Castiel smiled, his lips plump from their ministrations on Deans.

Dean smirked as he looked up at the now half naked Angel straddling him just below his bulging groin, "damn, I love Angel mojo."

Castiel leant down and licked his way up Deans neck nipping at this skin softly, "it does have uses..."

He raked his finger-tips down Deans now bared chest, smiling smugly at the hunters sharp intake of breath, "definitely has it's uses..."

Castiel's voice was deep and throaty, and Dean could feel every syllable pronounced against his skin. Cas guided Deans lips to meet his as his fingers twisted into his hair.

The kiss was hot and strong but more patient than it had been a moment ago. Dean didn't mind, they had no-where to be and nothing to do but each other.

Castiel snickered.

"What? You listening in?" Dean spoke gruffly into Cas's mouth, "you said yourself…no where to go..."

"I did…and I don't lie..."

Castiel bit down sharply on Deans lower lip, before moving along his slightly stubbly jawline, nipping and kissing as he travelled around and down his neck.

His hot tongue met Deans collar bone and licked softly along the indentation, continuing down to the hunters tattoo. He kissed it reverently then continued his downward trail, leaving small marks of warm moisture from his lips that mixed with the cool motel room air, causing Dean to shiver.

Dean breathed heavily, his eyes flickering closed, savouring the attentions being lavished on him; images of what they would do together flashed into his mind…

Castiel's tongue licked up his hardness causing Dean to jerk up and stare at the sparkling blue eyes gazing back up at him,

"wha- !"

"I also love Angel mojo," Cas replied heavily before closing his mouth around his now naked hunter.

"Holy crap…Cas…" Dean panted, his head falling back onto the bed. His fingers grasped at the sheet, curling them into balls, as Cas's head began to slowly move up and down…

Unable to think of anything else Dean's head swam with the Angel's movements…his warm, wet tongue lapping at him as he held him in his mouth…his stiffness sliding between the Angel's greedy lips…

The sounds spilling from Dean's mouth were sinful and coated in lust.

"Cas…"

His tone was pleading with the Angel, but not pleading him to stop, hell no, he wanted Cas to continue. He wanted to feel this dizzying high for as long as his body allowed him to. He didn't think that would be too long though as Cas's mouth enveloped him and his lips clamped tight at Dean's base and sucked him hard…harder…

"Fuuuuuuck…"

His body jerked uncontrollably, his mind bombarded with waves of heated pleasure…

Castiel's hand wrapped around him, replacing the grip of his lips, as he dragged the warm tormentors up the hunters throbbing length, not hard enough to hurt but nowhere near soft enough to tease; Cas intended for his touch to be too much to bear.

Cas sucked slow and hard up to Dean's highly sensitized head and swirled his tongue brusquely over his tip, all the while his hand slid up and down slowly squeezing at intervals to match the rhythm of his tongue…

"Hol- Cas -" Dean groaned incoherently and bucked off the bed. He was being unceremoniously thrown off the edge by the Angels actions…and he loved it.

Castiel enveloped him in his hot wanting mouth, taking Dean whole and retreating…taking him whole and then retreating…again and again…

He gripped Dean's hips tight as the hunter jolted under him. Cas was practically swallowing him over and over, sucking harder and releasing his grip…it was too much…

Cas's fingers dug into Dean as he blasphemed and emptied himself fiercely into the Angel's tortuous mouth.

As Dean's pulses slowed Castiel relinquished his ownership of him and wiped his hand over his mouth. Dean blinked open his eyes, looking down at the Angel. Castiel's lips were ruby red and swollen, and they curled into a bashful smile as Dean panted beneath him.

"Yeah, well…my diary just became clear, for the rest of my life." Dean stated breathlessly.

Castiel's smile grew.

Damn I love that smile, Dean thought, I bet I can make it bigger…

The rush of water from the shower stopped and he heard the familiar crumple of a shower curtain being folded back and feet padding onto the floor.

Dean bolted upright on the bed in a confused, groggy…panic? No, not panic. But he was definitely confused.

Looking down at himself, he saw he was, for the most part, fully dressed.

He rubbed his hands down his face and looked at the clock, it read 10:43.

What the hell? His mind questioned slowly.

"Cas?" he tentatively asked the empty room, nervous, but bizarrely hopeful that the Angel would walk out of the bathroom. That's weird, right? He was definitely confused.

"How's the head?"

Sam's question startled him out of his distracting train of thought and he turned to see his brother standing in the bathroom doorway wrapped in a towel.

"You okay? You look like you've seen a witch," he said mockingly.

Dean opened his mouth to answer, but not knowing what to say, what he was thinking or what the hell had happened during the night, he closed it again in a pathetic impersonation of a goldfish.

"Okaaaaay not good then, huh?" Sam laughed lightly at him. "Dude, there's still hot water, you should go shower it off."

Dean agreed to himself, he needed to wake up and shake off all the crazy he was feeling. "Yeah…yeah," he nodded, "yeah …"

Suddenly rising from his bed he hurried over to the bathroom and closed the door on Sam's giggling.

Dean automatically turned on the water in the shower, finding a comfortable balance of hot and cold, then stripped down dumping his sleep crumpled clothes in a heap.

He stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain across. Head hung under the firm stream of water, he placed his hands on the wall in from of him and leant in, letting the warmth cascade down him, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relieve the tension in his muscles.

So what the hell had that been about?

Dean's mind couldn't help but track back to his dream…

Yeah, his dream. Of Cas.

No, it wasn't the first time that he had dreamt of Cas, he'd being seeing the Angel in his sleep since his return from Purgatory. But last night had been…different.

The thing that was bugging Dean wasn't the fact that he'd just had an insanely vivid dream of the Angel being anything but angelic; it was the fact that he wasn't entirely disturbed by it. He wasn't even slightly surprised at his subconscious imaginings.

In fact, when he considered it, that wasn't even what was really bugging him.

What was eating at him was the fact that he'd had this dream now. Now, of all moments, he'd apparently realised he needed Cas more than he thought; in more ways than he thought.

And it was all too late. It was like a warning after the event. Absolutely freaking useless.

Why now? Why had his stupid subconscious decided that now was the time to show him what he think he knew all along? Why now, after Cas was lost to him.

It was a new way for him to torture himself, obviously.

The heavy weight of the wretched guilt in his gut was obviously not enough for his self-deprecating subconscious. He'd decided that he needed to suffer in a whole new way. His self hating mind had decided that now was the perfect time to show him the one thing that had the potential to make him happy.

He couldn't believe what he was thinking.

Why was he even OK with the contents of his dream? Why was he suddenly missing Cas like he would miss oxygen? Why was he not weirded out that he wasn't weirded out by any of this?! He felt like screaming.

Maybe it's because he knew nothing could be done about it. Cas was lost to him, he was gone. All he could do was torment himself with ideas and dreams that could never be real. Awesome.

Why was he even thinking about any of this?! He wasn't gay…

He'd never been with a dude. But at the same time, if he said he'd never checked a guy out he'd be lying. Hell, look at Dr Sexy MD…he was…

And Cas?

He raged internally, thoroughly confused and hurt and angry…and so, so tired. Tired of everything. Tired of his own mind games; tired of missing Cas; tired of blaming himself for everything that had gone wrong; tired of the job; tired of the constant muscle aches…

He sagged against the wall; blurred images of his dream edged into his minds eye…Cas sat on top of him…Cas's lips around him…Cas…

"God-dammit," he cursed at his body's physical response to his wandering thoughts.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Standing upright he sighed and twirled the faucet to 'really frickin cold'.

"Jesssusssssfuckkkingchirssst!"

He swore as the bitingly cold water hit his body, causing his muscles to tighten, trying to protect themselves from the freezing onslaught.

His body might have reacted to his thoughts of Castiel but he wasn't overly comfortable with the idea of sating himself while thinking about the Angel. That definitely felt like it would be wrong.

Happy that his urges had diminished, he turned the water back up to a more comfortable level of heat and washed; refusing to allow his brain to think of anything but soap suds.

Clean but no less confused, he climbed out of shower, dried and dressed. All the while consciously stopping himself from analysing himself and his stupid reactions any further. It wasn't going to help his current emotional state.

Before he could torment himself further, he swung the door open and saw Sam sat at his laptop, obviously working on their current case. Perfect, focus on the job, he told himself. But not that kind of job…he internally cursed his terminology.

"So, what's new?" He asked him as nonchalantly as he could.

"Hey," Sam sat up a little, "so it's not just Americans who are vanishing."

Dean drew a little cold water in the basin and splashed it over his face, listening to his brother's update, thankful for something else to think about.

"This guy, ah, Luigi Ponzi, disappeared waking between two subway cars in Rome. And right above ground, there was a freak hailstorm."

"Are we going to Rome? That's not too shabby."

Dean pulled a towel down from the rack next to the basin to dry his face.

He heard it then, a familiar ruffle. But before he could register what he'd heard he looked up into the mirror and saw him. Just standing behind him like he had done on many previous occasions.

Castiel.

Stunned beyond comprehension he turned around to face him, eyes wide, searching the Angel's features.

"Hello Dean."

Caught between shock and relief he looked the Angel up and down, taking him in. He was just as he remembered him being in Purgatory. Filthy, worn and dead on his feet.

Half of Dean wanted to grab him and crush him in a hug, the other half couldn't really believe he was there, standing in front of him. He just stared at the Angel, who gazed right back at him, a thousand things needed saying but neither one spoke.

"Cas?!"

Sam's exclamation jarred Dean from his internal struggle with the obvious reality.

Castiel gave Dean a slight, nervous smile and turned to Sam who was on his feet, beaming at him.

Several minutes later and Dean was leant against the counter, arms folded across his chest watching Sam and Castiel sat at the small table under the window, having a Q&A session.

"Unbelievable man, I cannot believe it, you're actually here?" Sam enthused.

"I've been trying to reach out, but for whatever reason I wasn't at full power so I couldn't connect with you." Castiel's eyes switched from brother to brother.

"It must have been why you kept seeing him, do you think?" Sam asked Dean, who had been watching the Angel intently.

"Yeah," he replied, "yeah, I gotta be honest, I'm thinking how the hell did you make it out?" He asked almost rhetorically; his attention firmly locked on Cas.

"I mean, I- I was there. I know that place. I know how we had to scratch and claw and kill and bleed to find that portal and make it through it and it almost finished me."

His eyes pleaded with the Angel. Cas sat there looking up at him with eyes full of torment and sadness…and Dean knew he was recalling the hell that they had suffered.

"So how exactly are you sitting with us here right now?"

Dean didn't mean to be so harsh with Cas, he really didn't. And he was beyond relieved to see him. He really was. But it was that fact that was making him question everything. Why had he come back now? Just after Dean had seen him on the road; outside the window…after dreaming that dream. It felt...set up. It felt to good to be true.

He needed to know how he had gotten out, he needed to know this wasn't all some new torment or one of those 'good news, but…' situations. He needed it all to be clear cut and dealt with so they could all just move on.

"Dean, everything you just said is completely true…" Castiel paused, "and that's the strange part, I have no idea." His eyes clouded over as he spoke. "I remember endlessly running and hiding from Leviathan, and then…I was on the side of the road in Illinois, and that was it."

He shook his head clear and looked up at Dean. He sighed deeply, feeling that the hunter didn't truly believe him.

"That was it?" Dean half accused him.

"Yes," he replied with more force than he intended. He was tired. He was lacking his true power and he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the way Dean's brusque attitude. He had hoped that the hunter would be happy to see him.

He looked away from the eyes staring at him and down at himself, "I'm dirty."

"Yeah, well Purgatory'll do that to you," Dean quipped.

Realising he was annoying the hunter, though he didn't understand why, Castiel stood and walked across the small room into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Dean turned and watched him go, his eyes starting to glisten with tears …

Worn out and breathing heavily, Benny, Dean and Castiel lurched through the heavy foliage.

"Maybe you were lied to, maybe there is no seam?" Castiel asked.

"I lie, I don't get lied to," Benny smiled, "aren't you guys all about faith?"

"Not particularly," Cas responded dryly.

Benny gave him an amused, questioning look as they all halted and searched for any sign of the seam.

Dean moved to stand beside Castiel.

Then out of the stillness, a single leaf blew up from the ground and hovered in front of them. All three of them stood silently questioning the leaf…and then it blew away, drawing their eyes with it. Then they saw it. The seam. It had manifested on a rise not too far from where they were standing.

Dean had never seen a more beautiful sight.

It was a bright slash across the grey face of Purgatory. A blue so pure and clean it was entirely alien in this world.

"Oh ye of little faith," Benny beamed at his companions.

"What the hell..?" Dean breathed.

"There it is, it's reacting to you," Cas looked at him.

Dean remembered himself then, remembered where they were and what he had to do. He looked at Benny who nodded.

"Alright, you ready?" Dean pulled out his bowie knife, "just like we talked about."

And with that he pulled up his sleeve and sliced across his forearm, opening a small bleeding wound.

"I'm putting a lot of trust in you brother," Benny said as he hitched his sleeve up and offered his bare arm to Dean.

"You've earned it."

Dean sliced across Benny's arm in the same fashion, Benny winced slightly. They then clasped each others arms and pressed the open wounds together.

"I'll see you on the other side,"Benny smiled.

Dean spoke an incantation and Benny vaporised into a swirling cloud of blood red and black, which was then sucked into Deans arm through his cut, which in turn closed behind the last traces of Benny's essence.

Cas looked at Dean, concern etched on his face, which the hunter chose to ignore.

"Lets go."

They fled up the hill leading them to the seam, the last ounces of energy being dragged out of them.

"Dean, wait!" Cas shouted above the noise of the wind surrounding them, stopping Dean in his tracks…just as two Leviathan appeared from nowhere, blocking their path.

"Dean?"

Sam's voice cut through the grey hell in his memory.

"Are you alright?"

Dean couldn't answer him, he didn't know how he was. His head was full of dreams and Purgatory and Cas's miraculous return. He was questioning everything and finding nothing. Was he seeing a problem where there was none? He should believe Cas, right? But his gut told him that something just wasn't right…

"You do see something severely wrong here, right?"

He sat down opposite his brother.

"Sammy, I remember every second of leaving that place. I mean I remember the heat, the stink, the pain, the fear. I have that whole ugly mess right here," he tapped his temple with his finger.

"And he says he has no idea how he got out, I'm…I'm just not buying it."

And it killed him to admit it, because all he wanted was to forget everything that had happened involving Purgatory, but he didn't believe Cas's story.

They heard the water running in the bathroom and Dean looked at the door.

"So you're saying he's lying?!" Sam asked him disbelieving.

"I'm saying something else happened. I saw the shape that he was in," he could feel the sting behind his eyes, "I mean there was no way he was fighting his ass out alone, no way."

"Alright, so who…" Sam sighed, "or what, got him out?"

Dean leant back in his chair, "yeah, exactly."

That's what was worrying him. If someone, or something, had gotten Cas out, what the hell did they want from him in return?

Instead of overwhelming relief that Cas was back safe and sound, he was now panicked at who Cas owed a debt to. If Cas even knew.

His dream from the previous night and any bizarre feelings that it had stirred up were now buried under a heap of new stresses and problems he didn't want. He sighed heavily.

The bathroom door opened and Castiel strode out.

He was clean shaven, tidy and all suited and booted in a crisp white shirt and dark suit, topped off with his trusty, now pristine, trench.

Dean stared at him, slack jawed and silent. He shuffled awkwardly as a surprising rush of heat ran through him.

"Better?" Cas asked with that husky Angel tone of his.

He opened his arms as if to give Dean a better view of him.

Sam looked over at Dean, and seeing and odd expression on his brothers face, he quickly looked away; slightly embarrassed.

Dean couldn't say anything, his voice was trapped in his chest under his pounding heart. He managed a small nod and his lips twitched into a brief smile as he once again shifted in his seat.

And at that point he knew. He knew he wanted his dream to be a reality.

He knew that he wanted Cas in his life. He knew he needed Cas in his life. And he definitely knew he was glad Cas was home.

Yeah sure, there were a million and one unanswered questions right now, and they would probably argue a hell of a lot before all of the issues were straightened out. But he figured that anyone who had this effect on him was worth it.

One day Purgatory would be forgotten, and no, that day wasn't today. But today, Cas was back.