Grocery List

A Leverage Fanfic

Chapter #1:

Here we are, Sophie thought, back. Ah, it felt so good. We're all here: the whole team-right here in Nate-and my- apartment. She looked around their room: it was really nice. Downstairs, Hardison was playing some stupid video game, Eliot was cooking something that smelled awfully delicious, Nate was reading a book, and Parker-Ah! Parker was right behind her!

"Parker!" Sophie hollered.

"Sophie." Parker responded, whispering.

"Why are you whispering?" Sophie asked, in a normal tone.

"Why aren't you? When someone starts whispering, you're supposed to respond in a whisper and say 'why are we whispering.'"

"Ok, 'why are we whispering'?"

"Because I need to tell you a secret," Parker said excitedly, completely forgetting that she had been speaking softly.

"Ooo, what would that be?" Sophie remembered the last secret Parker told her: That was that she and Hardison were getting married. Well, not really, it was actually a promise to stay together forever since they were both wanted, they couldn't really just show up and sign their names on those papers. Yet, it was as close to marriage as they were ever going to get. There was no ceremony, just the rest of the team watching Parker say, "I promise to never leave you for another guy, run away and steal all your valuables." Along with Hardison responding, "I promise not to leave you for some other babe, run away with the creepy cheater and ruin your credit score along the way." Then the team all got together, ate chocolate, pretzels, and drank orange soda, in wine glasses. It was very….. Them.

"I think I'm going to have a baby!" Parker said happily, in a tone somewhere between a whisper and a shout.

"What?!" Sophie hollered.

"Please whisper," the thief said calmly.

"What?!" the grifter murmured, annoyed.

"Ya know, I'm pregnant."

"Did you take a test?" Sophie asked.

"No. Is it true/false or multiple choice?"

"Parker, you're so cute," Sophie answered, "a pregnancy test to find out if you're right, you can get one at the grocery store."

"Oh."

"Wait, did you tell Hardison?" Sophie inquired.

"Tell him what?"

"About being pregnant, of course!"

"No, I wanted to talk to you first." The thief said, innocently.

"Well get a test and if it comes back positive….tell that Hacker he's going to be a dad!"

/. LEVERAGE /. LEVERAGE /. LEVERAGE /. LEVERAGE /. LEVERAGE /.

Later that evening:

Hardison was procrastinating: Eliot had brought his list, as had Sophie and Nate, he had his list and the credit card. I was his turn; it had been his turn five weeks ago too. It was his turn to go grocery shopping. With the whole team hanging out in Nate and Sophie's amazing new apartment so often, they all took turns food shopping every week, and at the end of the month, they all split the bill. But, Hardison hated doing it, it was like work.

Wait, he thought, Parker didn't bring me her list!

Almost as if she were on cue, Parker walked up and handed Hardison a piece of paper with everything she "needed."

"Woman, you need all of this," he said glancing at the list.

"Yeah, I'm out of all my favorites." Parker said sadly.

Hardison took a closer skim of the items, but without really paying attention at all:

Captain Crunch

Fruit Loops

Honey Nut Cheerios

Lucky Charms

Cocoa Puffs

Cinnamon (and every other flavor) Chex

Pregnancy Test

5 Hershey's Chocolate bars

Trix

Life

Frosted Flakes

"What is this?!" he said, almost horrified, backing up a few on the list. "Chocolate! Parker, you get way too high on chocolate! Mm-mm, no way, I ain't gonna be responsible for your craziness!"

Parker made a sad face and started to walk away, "But you'll get the rest right?"

"Course."