It was a brisk, chilly spring day as Lovino made his way down the street. It was going to be a normal day; he was just waiting for Antonio to call him as usual. Not that he wanted to talk to the tomato loving bastard. Yes, a normal day indeed.

Or so he thought.

That was until he found a picture of Antonio stuck on his front door. A topless, sexy Antonio-Wait no. Antonio was an idiotic bastard. Not sexy in any shape or form… But man look at that six pack-Not that he was staring of course. Lovino would never stare at the picture of another man, even if it was rather hot.

Face resembling one of Antonio's tomatoes, Lovino ripped the picture off of his door, slamming the door behind him as he entered his house. He kicked off his shoes and walked into his living room…

… Only to find a rather irritated looking Swiss sitting on his couch. 'What crawled up his ass and died?' "Vash, smelly cheese bastard, what do you want?"

Without blinking Vash looked up and nodded. "You saw the picture, yes?"

Picture? Lovino looked down at his hand, which was clamped around the sexy-No It was ugly, ugly as hell-picture of Antonio. "No I didn't you asshole, now get out."

"I take it you enjoyed it," Vash replied, not blinking at the swears thrown at him. He had his rifle, he'd be fine. "Now, you blushed, yes?" He then took the horrified expression along with the blush on the young Italian's face as a yes. "Now, now Lovino, do not deny it, for I know what you did last summer." Seeing the horrified expression again, he couldn't help but smirk.

"Wh-What the hell did I do last summer, you cheese bastard? Damnit!" Lovino hadn't done anything last summer. At least nothing the Swiss bastard could know about.

"Your Boss."

Lovino's eyes widened. Oh SHIT. This was not good. Wait why wasn't it good? Because it's a lie you idiot! "That's absolute bullshit!

The Swiss's eyes glinted. Not a good sign. "Oh really? Hmm, that's peculiar because I happen to have video of such an event. "Really Lovino, to sleep with your boss?" He whistled, "I never would have guessed."

Video… WHAT?! "Why-WHY do you have video of it?! Not that it ever happened because it didn't you bastard! Chiiigi!" The Italian's head was spinning, how did Vash see?

"Elizaveta wanted some. She said the UST around you guys was unbearable or something, so she wanted proof that you were more. Whatever that means." Vash turned to face Lovino. "Money is a powerful thing, you know?"

Wait, Vash took video of Lovino and Antonio, just to get a little money from Elizaveta? No-Not that there was anything to take video of, because there certainly wasn't.

"Kiku took a copy also; I believe this video shall sell quite well. I stopped by to thank you, for I finally have figured out a way to make more money. Just continue to have sex with Antonio thank you very much." Vash smiled that kind of smile when he was making or saving money.

Lovino just stood there looking horrified. If Kiku saw it, then Feliciano probably did too. Which could only mean his brother would ask, "When's the wedding day nii-saaaan~? Veee~" Then he might get the wrong idea that he and that potato bastard can get together and get married too. Wait, he wasn't going to marry Antonio, no fucking way, not without pasta and three naps a day at least. But still, no way could his little brother get with that bastard. No. Fucking. Way.

"Oh, your brother already agreed to help me by the by, he and Ludwig do make me quite a lot of money. Maybe you and Antonio should learn a bit from them." Vash then drew his rifle and put it under Lovino's throat faster than the boy could even open his mouth.

"Now, if you mention any of this to Lilli, I'll castrate you. Got it?" Lovino nodded quickly, gulping as the man smiled and withdrew his weapon. As Vash put on his shoes Lovino just stood in place, not completely comprehending what just happened.

"Try and get a Sadistic Antonio next time, Bye~!" And with that, Lovino's front door was shut and the Swiss man was gone. "What the fuck just happened?"

Soon, a familiar ring went off and Lovino answered his phone, glad to listen to something normal for once as Antonio ranted on about his day.

A/N: Bahaha, this is total shit.

This entire fic was based of my friend and mines conversation on Skype, she's very Switzerland like and I'm very Romano like. Needless to say, highly amusing convo=this fanfiction.

It all started with my stumbling onto a shirtless picture of Romano, and then continued from there. XDDD Love you Mickykun~ 3