"Will you PLEASE get that damned phone!?" Al was holding his head in a failed attempt to stop the throbbing. Next to him, Ed rolled over and folded the pillow around his head to stop any incoming sound, ignoring Al and the phone completely. Al glared at his brother before delivering a sharp kick to his back, making him roll off the bed.
"gyaaah!!!" Moisture welled in the corners of Ed's eyes as he rubbed his back. "What in hell was that for?!" As if on cue, the phone rang again.
"It was for you not answering that, now pick it up. It could be important." Al complained.
"Crap Al, with a brother like you, why do I even want a mom?" Al rolled his eyes as the older boy stood, walked to the phone, and picked it up. "Hello? This is the very tired alchemist speaking, and you must obviously be someone with a death wish." Ed said coldly.
"Wow, Fullmetal. I think that's the friendliest greeting you've ever given me." Said a familiar voice. Ed could already feel the murderous rage building.
"Only you, Mustang. Only you would call me at two in the morning. This better be good."
"Oh it is. I want you to get your ass down to Central. Like, NOW."
"Will I want to kill you when I get there?" Ed was being serious. Colonel Mustang sighed.
"Don't you always?"
"…Good point. Can't it wait? We just got to granny's place. Winry was really happy. She'll be crushed if we leave so soon again."
"It really can't wait. As for the issues with your girlfriend and Pinako, don't care. Not my problem." Ed's face crumpled in disgust.
"You really are a sick, heartless asshole. It better be worth it. How long do we have to get there?"
"Not we, you. And you can get here right now. Just climb through the phone. I'm sure you're small enough to fit through one of the holes."
"WHO YOU CALLING SMALL YOU WOMANIZING MORONIC BASTARD!!!???" Ed heard Mustang laugh on the other end of the line.
"hahaha! Fullmetal, sometimes your spunk is the only reason I like you. But back to business. Be here by noon or else I won't tell you anything."
"Bastard…fine. I'll be there. But this had better not be another of your sick jokes, Mustang." Mustang laughed again.
"Sick jokes? Me? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm merely sending you on a little mission with a big payoff." Ed sighed.
"Whatever. I'll leave you to whatever you were doing before depriving me of sleep. People grow most in their sleep you know."
"Well then you either don't sleep much or you're a medical mystery. I'm leaning toward medical mystery." Ed started wigging out on Mustang, only to realize he had already hung up. The pissed off blonde slammed the phone on the receiver, holding it there, with his fist tightening around it.
"Jackass…" Ed muttered under his breath. Al still heard him though.
"What's wrong, brother? That was Colonel Mustang, right? What'd he say?" Al was getting a bit worried. Ed couldn't bring himself to look at his brother.
"I have to leave for Central right away. Alone."