Managed to finally translate my Okita Sougo FF for ~Hirahirari!
With all the lab reports and oral presentations going on, I never had the chance to finish this (or work with any of my FFs actually...)
The actual title of this story is "Netsu" which can mean "heat" as well as "fever" and "passion" so I punned it in a Japanese sense, but too bad English doesn't have the equivalent translation that works as well as it does in Japanese.
Since Hirari had offered to do quote requests (essentially writing a story including the quote from a certain character requested) and had done my request as well, I decided to thank her by writing one for her as well.
So her chosen quote was "I don't want to part like this" by Okita Sougo.
(Which sounds so much better in Japanese than English... or well, any Gintama story or anime is much better in Japanese since they play with words and dialects, the main source of their individual characterisation... So sad that I can't express all that fully in English since there's no equivalence for it.)
Anyways, enjoy!
"Let's break up"
The student, who spoke those words without the slightest bit of emotion, was the guy with crimson eyes.
"Why?"
The student, who asked that with a bit of surprise, was the girl with deep blue eyes.
"Because... I like someone else."
To that answer, the girl sighed, and hid her disappointed face with the glasses she was holding in her hand.
"It doesn't matter does it? It's not like I had any feelings for you anyway."
"...If you make her cry, I won't forgive you," the girl strongly warned.
"I don't need you to tell me that!"
"I have every right to tell you that! It's my best friend in the whole wide world!"
"...right, I got it."
"...be sure to treasure her!"
"I know."
"Well then... I'll see you tomorrow, you bastard!"
"...'kay."
Fever
Sougo x OC
(with a bit of Sougo x Kagura)
"...W-wha-!? Eeeehhhhh!?"
"I said, go out with me."
I feel the heat creep up my whole face.
"Go out with me"? What are you saying! But you- !
"Y-you're going out with Kagura-chan, aren't you!?"
"For the millionth time," he sighs, and repeats for (the only) second time, "I said we broke up yesterday."
"You don't need to hesitate at all! You had loved this idiot all this time, didn't you?" Kagura-chan chimes in.
W...well yes I did and do... but!
What a situation I have been put in...
My best friend has preposterously decided to break up with her boyfriend only to offer him to me.
Eh? Could someone PLEASE help me figure what the HELL is going on here!?
Yes, it's true that I had transferred to this school and had become best friends with Kagura-chan who had introduced me to her boyfriend who I had fallen in love with at first sight!
But I have never told a soul about that and had kept it locked up, shut deep within my heart, without the feelings leaking out at all!
...Oh no... Had it been leaking?
"Massive leakage, you know," Sougo comments.
Eeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?
"...o-of what!?" I stutter.
"Of your tea, of course. Moron."
I look down and evidently the hand that had been pouring the tea into the cup had frozen there, still filling the over-filled cup to the brim which is continuously flowing out even now, making my school bag wet as well.
"Gyaaaaahhhh!" I scream and immediately stop my hand from pouring tea and hurriedly thrust my hands into the pockets of my skirt to find the handkerchief which doesn't seem to be there, and I further stick my hands through the front pockets of my bag where I'm sure I had stored it.
"Jeez, you're always such a dope," Kagura-chan says to me as she efficiently brings out a handkerchief from her pocket and starts wiping my bag for me.
Fortunately, we're at the rooftop, so we can just leave the spillage for the sun to dry.
As for Sougo, he just puts his weight against the two propped arms at the back, chuckling at me and I send him daggers of glares.
But seriously, I nearly got a heart stroke from his words.
I really thought he read my mind for a moment there...
"Why didn't you tell me much earlier then!?" I grumble.
"Because I was trying to time it right," he simply replies.
He lazily props his arms behind himself and leans against them and unfortunately for me, it's a total blunder, but I can't help but blush at how hot he looks.
It's just a daily phenomenon now that I don't even bother to defend my actions against my right of mind.
"Well there's no point in any timing if you're totally off the mark!" I scowl back.
"Nah, I timed it exactly at the right time and was able to see that reaction of yours. I'm real satisfied right now," he smirks with that mocking look.
Is this really the guy that just asked me out a few minutes ago!?
"So, are you gonna go out with me or not?"
Nope! I'm not dreaming! No doubt it IS him!
"Well, um..."
Yes, I'd LOVE to! Or more like YES PLEASE!... like as if I can say that!
"As if she can say please let me be your bride," Kagura buts in.
Yes, exactly! Thank you Kagura-chan! As if I can say please let me be your bri-eeehhhhhhh!?
Wait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! Wrong term used here, Kagura-chan!
GIRLFRIEND, right? Not B-bbbb...bride!
"...so it's useless to ask her such a thing," Kagura-chan continues.
Yes, yes. It's useless.. so-
"-So just make her your girlfriend without her approval!" Kagura-chan concludes.
"Eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh!? Ka-Kagura-chan!?" I voice out my exclamation this time.
W-what on Earth are you SAYING!?
Sougo on the other hand nods in a total "Ah~, at last I get how this physics problem works. Now you're talking my language," sort of look before turning towards me with a wide ear-to-ear grin.
"So now, you're officially my girlfriend starting today. 'Kay?"
And for the umpteenth time, my perplexed voice echoes to the sky from the school roof top.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh!?"
And so it happens to be that the news of Sougo and me going out runs like wind, causing a treacherous typhoon.
Most girls throw at me daggers of glares while I hide behind my refuge, Kagura-chan.
I don't care what anyone thinks! I don't care if they call me a wart or fungus, or even a parasite off Kagura-chan!
That's not going to stop me from clinging onto Kagura-chan for dear life, because I KNOW that I alone will not survive against those razor blades of girls!
Kagura-chan is very strong and reliable so whenever I'm with her, nobody dares to near us.
She's that kind of person... which is maybe why nobody had said anything about it when Kagura-chan and Sougo had been going out.
The two also confess that that had been their goal so that no constant annoying girls will cling to Sougo's side.
But just because they had said that... it didn't mean that I can just suddenly accept my state and be so carefree about it...
Sougo on the other hand is so carefree with his actions as he jumps on me and gives me a peck on the cheek in public, holding hands and showing his affection towards me in front of everyone.
He knows I don't like it because it's embarrassing. He knows it. And intentionally does it.
Apparently he thinks me blushing from head to toe is cute and amusing.
And nothing can stop me from letting him get his expecting reactions off me.
Like Kagura-chan says, I really am clumsy so embarrassing things just keep piling over the top as more days pass by.
But then again, there's no way I can be in denial for my love for Sougo...
And even though it's embarrassing, the kisses and embraces really make my stomach full of rapidly fluttering butterflies.
Just feeling his warmth seeping through me gives me all the happiness I had ever wanted.
"So... since you don't really pull away from the things I do, it means that you love me to, right?"
Kagura-chan has after school club activities, so this time of the day only leaves me with just Sougo, just the two of us.
Sougo has after school club activities too, but as usual, he's bunking it.
...or more like, he's been slacking off more often after going out with me.
"And you aren't denying my statement either," Sougo says happily after I don't answer his question and just silently change my indoor shoes to outdoor shoes at the entrance of the school building.
Of course I can't deny that! Got a problem with that!? I growl inwardly, "I'm so embarrassed that I can't even raise my head!"
"...You become mute when it's just the two of us, don't you?" Sougo suddenly comments quietly with a hint of sadness lingering in his voice and I turn around to face him.
"I don't even know anymore, if you even have any slightest bit of interest in me," Sougo sighs as he looks directly into my eyes with an unconfident look.
I get taken aback with his furrowed face expression.
"Hey... what do you really think of me?" he whispers.
...he's just too cute!
"I do... have interest," is the only stupid words that tumble out of my mouth.
I am not bad in communicating with people. Honest.
But when it comes to Sougo, I just become too panicked, embarrassed and my mind's dictionary becomes as good as blank paper.
Sougo makes my verbal skills disappear into another dimension.
"...well that's good, I guess," Sougo awkwardly replies, not sure how to take my ambiguous reply.
The air between us suddenly becomes slightly awkward.
If only I can just openly tell him "I love him", all his worry and unconfident part of him would blow far away...
But... I don't have the courage to say that at all...
If only I'm stronger...
"Well could you at least tell me what you're thinking right now?" Sougo hesitantly asks.
So I answer what first comes to mind.
"I think you shouldn't slack off your club activities."
A full complete 3 second blank stare passes by before Sougo bursts out laughing.
I furrow my brows, not sure why had suddenly started laughing.
"You really told me what you're thinking right now," he huffs within breaks laughs.
...What?
"Oh well. Let's just go home," Sougo sighs with the smile not quite leaving his lips yet.
We walk together side by side towards the gates of the school, and while doing so, I ponder back to what I had said to him a few minutes ago.
"... when you're doing kendo, you look so awesome, you know?" I murmur more towards myself than directed at Sougo, but his head snaps towards my way with a shocked look.
"So I want to see you doing more kendo..." I request, glancing sideways to meet his gaze,
"But that'll lessen the time we can be together, don't ya think?" Sougo replies somewhat happily.
"I'll just wait in class till you're done. If I get my homework done early, I'll come and see you," I answer casually, but these words cause Sougo to suddenly spin me to face him and suddenly I'm fully in his arms in a tight embrace.
Huh? Wwwwwha-what's with this sudden action!?
My heart starts thumping madly and I feel my face getting hotter by the second.
"W-what's up with the suddenness?" I manage to stutter.
"...I feel like I've finally got to hear your voice," Sougo murmurs.
No way! I've been talking to you all along, wasn't I!?
"...from your heart."
To Sougo's barely audible voice, my heart gets struck by it and it constricts strongly.
I then realise that what I had said had probably sounded like what a girlfriend wound say, and had probably just admitted indirectly that I was his girlfriend.
More blush creeps towards the surface of my cheeks, and even up to my ears from the embarrassment.
But I guess this is okay... because at last Sougo can be rest-assured about our relationship...
I hesitantly wrap my arms around Sougo too and embrace him lightly, for the first time.
"...shit," Sougo mumbles and I look up to see what's wrong, when he puts his palm against my face to hide my vision, but he's too late.
I see his brightly blushed face and feel my heart constrict so much more than before.
That expression is so... flawlessly cute!
Wait? Is this really Sougo?
It makes me doubt his identity so much that I accidentally let out a laugh escape from between my lips, earning me a glare before he takes my hand and pulls me along with him towards the way home.
The smile never leaves our lips as we hold hands and walk back home as happily as we can ever be.
After that, my words seemed to have had a great effect and Sougo is now going to the kendo club every day.
Hijikata-kun had thanked me even!
After I had officially started going out with Sougo, 3 months had passed by like the wind, and the bad rumours had also been swept away along with it.
"Yo, Sougo! Your girlfriend's here~" a voice echoes within the kendo club hall and immediately Sougo flicks his head around before rushing towards my way.
"Hey! Don't slack off!" I growl half-heartedly.
"It's okay if it's just for a bit. Anyways, you're coming here later and later by the day. Is the homework attacking you or something?" Sougo jokes, but still with a partially concerned look.
"Yeah, the problems are getting harder to solve since they seem to be at a rebellious stage recently, not letting me solve them so easily," I reply back with a weak smile, earning a genuine smile from Sougo, his concern wiped cleanly off his face.
"Force it to drink 1L of milk. That'll keep them awake and calmer," Sougo suggests.
"That would increase problems, you idiot!" I retort.
It had taken me awhile, but now I can have fluent conversations with Sougo and I don't even hesitate when he gives me a peck on the forehead.
Sometimes I even initiate into holding hands, even in public that is.
But...
"Oi, what's up with this bruise?"
It's probably around that time I had started getting used to Sougo's affections...
"Huh? Oh, uh... tripped and fell on the way here. You know me, being clumsy and all."
That these things happened, things that I had only thought existed in TV dramas...
"Jeez, be more careful."
"...yeah."
I lower the school skirt a bit more...
Because I don't want Sougo to see...
... the scars from being bullied.
I wonder if I had been too full of myself recently.
The girls who had a crush on Sougo had started to bully me and they usually ambush me on the way to Sougo's kendo club hall.
Lots of harsh, hurtful words are thrown at me, but I try to ignore them.
The places where they kick me are very painful, but I'm glad that hey avoid my face.
Because I would never ever want Sougo to find out about this...
Not just Sougo.
Even Kagura-chan.!
If it only just takes this to satisfy the girls...
By venting their anger out on me...
And if that's how they can manage to not accept, but at least not forcefully break the relationship between Sougo and I...
Then I can withstand this much!
To keep the relationship between Sougo and I, this is nothing!
But then one day... that strong will starts breaking down...
By words that hits the nail on the head.
"You're the worst, aren't you? Stealing Kagura-senpai's boyfriend but still wanting to be best friends with her too!?"
"Don't know about Okita-senpai, but Kagura-senpai was definitely in love with Sougo-senpai!"
"Yeah, Kagura-senpai broke up only for Okita-senpai, but you still wanting to be best friends Kagura-senpai after all that? How selfish can you be!?"
"Kagura-senpai is too kind so she can't move away from you! And what are you doing? Being all lovey-dovey in front of her! Must be a living hell for her!"
"Make up your mind and choose Okita-senpai or Kagura-senpai, just one! Stop being so selfish you arrogant bitch!"
My ears hurt.
I can't breathe.
My heart feels like it's about to be ripped apart.
...they had found where I hurt the most.
It's exactly as the girls say.
I'm very selfish for wanting Sougo as my boyfriend, and Kagura-chan as my best friend...
I just love both of them equally and too much...
But I knew...
I knew that in truth, Kagura-chan actually had feelings for Sougo...
I knew the true reason as to why Otae-chan and the others won't talk to me...
...but Kagura-chan offered me the girlfriend position with a smile.
I couldn't possibly ignore and decline her after all she has done for me to do that.
No... That's just excuses.
I had only just used Kagura-chan's kindness as an excuse...
I had known her feelings but had turned a blind eye to that fact...
Recently when Sougo would come to visit, Kagura-chan would quietly dismiss herself from us but it hadn't been because she didn't want to be a nuisance to us...
It had been because it's too hard to bear watching the two of us getting along together so well...
I had noticed that...
Using Kagura-chan's kindness and hurting her feelings...
...I'm such a horrible demon.
After all she had done for me, becoming my first friend after transferring here and building a precious, important strong bond between us...
Instead of thanking her the right way, I had ended up giving her nothing in return and moreover, stealing what's hers...
...I really am the worst.
For the umpteenth time, I cradle my stomach as I stagger myself forward towards the entrance of the kendo club hall.
I peek through the doors so that I can watch Sougo practice without being noticed by anyone.
Although they're using just bamboo sticks as swords, Sougo still looks so great and it makes me lost in awe.
So great and hot and cute and a sadist but also kind and...
The more I stare at Sougo, the more it reminds me of all the face expressions Sougo had shown me and before I know it, I feel hotness streak down my cheeks and it takes me a bit to realise that these are tears. My tears.
And also the realisation of how hard I had fallen for Sougo.
But... I'm not allowed to be so selfish.
Sougo or Kagura-chan...
If I had to choose just one... the choice is obvious.
"Hey... aren't you...?"
A voice comes from beside me suddenly and I then realise that a classmate of mine, Kyuubei, is standing right next to me.
"Are you...okay?" she asks in concern.
I had been so stunned by the fact that she had even spoken to me that it takes me a while to realise that she had asked me a question of concern and I snap back to reality, wiping away my tears in a rush.
"Should I call for him?" Kyuubei asks.
"Huh?"
When I face Kyuubei, she is facing in the direction of the hall, and following her gaze, I see Sougo.
"No, it's okay... Not anymore..." I tell myself rather than to her before I turn my feet away from the hall and leave the place.
I have to end this all...
After going out with Sougo, this is the first time I've walked back home alone.
On the way is the Edo River, and as if I'm summoned by it, I slowly descend the slope of the hill and rest at the river bank.
Staring at the flow of the current, I feel that the river is taking away some of my sadness and pain.
I wonder how long I had been like that, just sitting there, but suddenly I notice that the sun is setting so low now that the sky is already bright orange.
Hearing my name being called from above, I spin around to see a very frantic looking Sougo.
"Why did you leave without a word!? Do you know how worried you made me!?" Sougo shouts at me after rushing down the slope of the hill.
But seeing me not replying nor raising my head to face him, he becomes deeply concerned and tries to stare into my downcast face.
"Hey... did something happen?" he asks worriedly.
To those words, I look up and lock my gaze upon Sougo, and as if sensing something, his face expression turns into a really insecure, worried look.
"Sougo... I can't do this anymore," I whisper, barely audible.
"...what can't you do anymore?" Sougo mutters with a slightly shaking voice, looking downwards, perhaps already knowing the answer I'm going to give.
As expected of Sougo.
"I... I can't go out with you anym-"
"Why can't you!?"
I flinch and expect to see Sougo glaring at me but instead, see a desperate look in those eyes.
His expression seems so full of hurt and my heart feels like it's about to be ripped apart.
But even still...
"Sougo... you too have actually realised or had already known Kagura-chan's true feelings towards you... right?" I say slowly.
His reaction gives me his answer.
With nothing to reply to my words, he gradually closes his mouth and looks down to the ground.
"And you know how much Kagura-chan means to me... right?" I continue.
Sougo probably knows all that even if I don't even say it out loud.
Because to Sougo, Kagura-chan is also a good friend that means as much, or so much more to him since they had known each other way longer than I had known either of them.
I think we both knew that this day was bound to come sooner or later.
We couldn't possibly be happy while ditching one other precious friend...
I don't want to part like this...
And as if my thoughts are read, the words become vocalised by Sougo.
"I don't... want to part like this..."
He says it with such a weakened, heart-breaking voice and it makes me force back tears that are daring to spill any moment now.
His stare is also so watery that I suddenly feel like there's not enough oxygen around us for me to breathe.
The current of the river beside us runs down so smoothly, and the sky is so clear...
The wind is so calming and so why...
Why does it feel like as if I'm trapped in a burning building, heavily lacking the oxygen that I need to breathe?
To keep me alive?
But bringing up all the courage I can ever muster, I try to push Sougo away from me.
"...Sorry, Sougo."
Oh no... Don't cry... I need to hold it in! I say to myself and take a deep breath.
Both Sougo and I know what I'm going to say next.
"...let's break u-"
"You don't have to say it!"
My head and Sougo's both snap towards the source of the loud voice.
And standing right there, at the top of the hill, is none but the all familiar girl's face, streaked in sweat.
Kagura-chan.
I wonder how fast she sprinted over here...
She's such a fast runner, but even still, she's sweating all over as if she'd run for a hundred miles.
And as if she had used up all her energy in her legs, her knee collapses, inevitably rolling down the hill.
"K-Kagura-chan!?"
I rush towards her aid, but she reaches the bottom of the hill before I do.
With twigs and leaves sticking all over her hair, she gives me a half-wry smile.
"You don't have to worry about what the other girls have got to say," Kagura-chan tells me so softly, that I can feel the genuine warmth and truth from these words, "you don't have to silently endure all the physical bullying."
"...what?"
I suddenly hear Sougo's voice from right behind, and I slowly turn my head to see, as I had expected, a very shock-stricken face of his.
"...what was that?" Sougo repeats.
Oh, no... I've been discovered...
"Your fans had been physically bullying her behind your back!"
"Kagura-chan!"
In panic, I sharply call her name to stop her from saying any further, but I'm a second too late.
Slightly glancing over to the side, I see Sougo's crimson eyes showing pure lividness.
Afraid of receiving his end of his anger, I quickly shut my eyes tight even though I know it's about to come.
Yes, I know! I'm sorry I had been keeping this a secret! I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I'm sor-
I hear a small gust of wind before I feel warmth rush into my body and suddenly come to realization that I'm in Sougo's soft embrace.
"...I'm really sorry!" he whispers with a tone that sounds like he's gritting his teeth as he's saying so, as if holding his anger and shamefulness.
As much as I like Sougo's settling warmth, I try to escape from it in a rush.
Kagura-chan's right in front of us!
Knowing that I'm injured now, Sougo immediately let's go of me before he inflicts further pain.
"You don't have to force yourself to break up! You can't lie to your feelings!" Kagura-chan starts growling at my actions, "You're allowed to be selfish! You can even be greedy! Humans are greedy livings anyway!
"This sadist doesn't want to lose our friendship nor wants to break up with you.
I don't want to lose two most precious bond of friendship either!
I'm greedy too and love you both so I want us three to be together forever!
If you guys break up because of me, I will never forgive you!
That will be more of a reason for finalising our friendship!"
Those words...
...how deeply it sinks into my heart and releases all the pain...
...how happy and grateful I am to hear them despite my ugly side of holding hope for this outcome...
Ah, I don't have to endure anything anymore.
I don't have to lose anything...
The moment of realisation, relaxation and happiness over-fills my body and as if something inside me had snapped, I can't stop the constant flow of tears that just streams down my cheeks like broken water works that needs fixing.
Furthermore and embarrassingly, I can't help but start crying aloud like a 2-year old.
If it were me, I would hate to have such a childish girl like me to be a girlfriend...
But Sougo just carries me on his back gently as I still cry against his shoulder.
And after growing tired of all that crying while feeling the comforting warmth of Sougo's back...
...I had shamefully fallen asleep!
The next morning, the chirping of the birds stirs me awake and realise first thing that the ceiling looks oddly unfamiliar.
Feeling out of the comfort zone, I quickly sit up to look around only to immediately cease the rush of panic and replace it with complete relaxation when I see Kagura-chan on the left and Sougo on the right, still sleeping in peace.
But still feeling the confusion, I look around to figure where I'm at.
The room looks rather huge and traditional tatami-mats are stretched across the floor while the doors surround on all four sides are delicate, paper-made fusuma slides. And right in the centre of this room, are three futon duvets aligned together where the three of us currently lie.
...uh, what exactly happened yesterday...? I scrunch my face and think to myself as I try to switch my brain off from sleeping-mode and on to activation when I look down to see my tummy peeking from beneath my shirt, and see that they are covered in bandages.
Huh? What's this...?
"Oi, you guys are gonna be late for school!" I hear a familiar husky voice and look up to see Hijikata-kun, a classmate of ours, dressed in school uniform.
Eh? Why...?
"If you're awake, then wake these two other idiots. I'm going to leave first," Hijikata-kun mutters before walking off.
...why is Hijikata-kun here...?
As I ponder about that, I hear movement from the right side.
"Did you have a good night's sleep?" Sougo asks with a sleepy grin.
Even his sleepy face is unconditionally, unfairly so hot to the point that it pisses me off! ...unfortunately loving it at the same time...
Sougo's grin disappears and turns into a concerned frown when I don't reply.
"Are you still... bothered by it?"
I give him a confused look.
"...by what?" I say, but the moment I do, all the memories start flashing at the back of my mind.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
I feel my face becoming hotter and hotter.
What have I done!? Showing such a distraught, embarrassing, extremely shameful side of me!
Bawling in front of my two best friends at this age!
I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that I can't face Sougo now!
Watching me attempt to hide my fully red face with my hands and knees, Sougo cracks up laughing, making me unable to face him even more.
Either from my cry or from Sougo's cackling laughter, Kagura-chan wakes up.
"What are you two doing...?" she slurs sleepily.
"N-nothing... just let me stay depressed for awhile..." I quietly say in a low, energy-fallen voice.
Sougo starts laughing again at that.
I'm starting to have a feeling that Sougo is going to tease me about this every now and then from now on...
I feel a shiver run up my spine by that thought, making me want to dig a deep hole for myself and hide there eternally!
But on the other hand... I love them both...
So to think that I can be together with these two forevermore, I just can't help feeling blessed by God.
"Sougo... Kagura-chan... I love you both very much..." I quietly murmur, that had been mainly be said to myself, but I feel the two coming right up beside me.
""Can't hear you,"" they both say in unison, ""raise your head and say it loud and clear"".
When I muster the courage to lift my head up...
...I suddenly get two pecks on either side of my cheeks from both of them.
""We love you too.""
...let's bunk school today.
With the reason: I've got a fever and the heat's not about to cool any time soon!