We were downstairs, my family and I, huddled together under the floorboards, hiding from them. Their German shouting and stomping was heart stopping. We kept quiet, barely breathing, praying to God that they wouldn't find us. My little brother, Alexsander, clung to me and let out a tiny whimper.
"Shh," I whispered to him, "don't worry, Sander."
The heavy steps above halted and were now coming from the direction of the doorway. We snapped our heads toward the entrance, where shadows inhabited the light below. Muffled voices spoke amongst themselves and I held my breath in fear.
"In here!" yelled a Nazi. "Break the door down!"
Before I could even form a thought, loud bangs echoed from the entry. Alexsander tightened his grip on me and I returned the action. The thuds continued, one after another, my terror increasing with each thump until finally…it stopped. Alexsander loosened his grasp on me as a silence filled the air.
The stillness tempted us into a sense of safety, which was stripped away by the crash that sent the aged timber to the ground. Several dark figures stood in the doorway, appearing like grim reapers ready to drag our innocent souls to the depths of hell.
"There they are! Ergreifen Sie sie!" the leader instructed.
Shadows, tall and intimidating, swarmed into the room and separated us. Three Nazis encircled my parents and I could see past the two approaching my brother and I to them. My father had one arm around my mother, attempting to calm her, and the other held up in peaceful surrender. Though he showed no signs of resistance, one of the Nazis knocked him down with a fist to the cheek. This elicited laughter from the men and the same one that sent my father to the ground gave him a few kicks to the stomach. My mother shrieked in horror and another Nazi grabbed her wrist, slapping her into silence.
On the other side of the room, Alexsander held onto me for dear life as one of the Nazis attempted to pry him off. I had my own death grip around him and was determined to die before letting them take him away. The other soldier seized my arms and pulled at them, breaking our ironclad embrace.
Alexsander cried, "Sister! Don't let them take me! No! Please!"
"No!" I screamed, struggling to sprint to him. I whirled around and met the light blue eyes of the Nazi responsible for the raid. I was surprised by his appearance fore he hardly look much older than I. He scowled at me, but I showed no fear. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was terrified like my mother did. Instead, I spat at him and returned his glare with as much—if not more—intensity as him. I was sure he was going to punish me for the disrespect I had just shown and was prepared for whatever he had planned. He wiped my saliva from his face with a gloved hand and tightened his grip on my arm, abruptly jerking me towards him in an attempt to incite a frightened reaction, though I remained unbroken and stared him down. The anger was obvious on his face, but it didn't feel like a loathsome rage; more like a fierce plead. His harsh actions and expression contradicted with his eyes, which were somewhat apologetic as opposed to the hate or disgust the other men's eyes held.
The Nazi dragged me out of the house and into a van, where I was united with my family. A few soldiers that raided our home sat between us with stoic expressions. I glanced at over at my parents and noticed the swelling on both my mother and father's cheeks. My father held where the Nazi had kicked him and it was obvious my mother was using every bit of her willpower not to breakdown. I shifted my gaze to Alexsander, whose cheeks gleamed from the smeared tears he had cried and was still silently shedding. My heart wretched at the hollow shells that used to be my happy family and I closed my eyes in order to maintain what little strength I had left inside.
"Hey, what do you think? Should we even bother sorting them into a camp?" a soldier questioned in a low voice.
My ears perked up at the inquiry.
"I don't see any reason to," answered another Nazi. "I don't even see any point to these camps. We should just kill them."
"I agree, but all that matters is what Beilschmidt thinks since he's leading this raid."
"There's something off about him…I don't know, but lately he's been acting…strange."
"You don't think he's a spy, do you?"
"I don't know, but I think I know a way to find out."
About an hour later the van came to a stop and the Nazis dragged my family and I out. It appeared that they were going to lead us into some sort of camp that was surrounded by huge stone walls with barbed wire along the top. Before we entered though, a voice halted us.
"Take them to the yards," ordered the soldier from earlier.
"What do you think you're doing, Strauss?" questioned the leader known as Beilschmidt.
"What? Do you have a problem with finishing them off here and now?" challenged Strauss. He stared down the other man, who wore an unbreakable mask of stoicism.
"Nein," he answered roughly.
We were taken to the front yards and lined up: Father, Mother, Alexsander, and I. Two Nazis took stances before my father, rifles ready. My heartbeat quickened and my eyes widened at the realization of what I was about to witness. No! I screamed in my mind. I looked over at the Nazis and my eyes locked with Beilschmidt's. He stared at me, a ghost of a frown on his lips.
"Allgemein Beilschmidt," Strauss coaxed.
The general shot a glare at the man and then returned his gaze to me. He held his scowl, but his eyes were full of regret and sorrow. "Fire," he commanded.
The air was filled with an earsplitting crackle, followed by an unforgettable thud as my father's lifeless body hit the ground. My mother lost control of herself at that point and ran to his body. She fell to her knees and hugged the corpse, sobbing hysterically.
The rifle men glanced up at their general, awaiting further instruction. The man listened to my mother's pathetic cries and closed his eyes for a moment. "Fire," he finally ordered.
Gunshots resonated around us and my mother's sobs were silenced once and for all. I stared in disbelief at the crumbled bodies of my parents. This can't be happening, I reasoned silently. This is just a dream…it has to be… But there was no waking up from this nightmare as the Nazis moved to my brother. No, not him!
"Sister, I'm scared! Help!" pleaded Alexsander. He began to cry and a wet spot slowly formed on the front of his trousers.
I shot a look to Beilschmidt, begging him with every ounce of my being to spare my brother. "Please," I mouthed.
Unable to hold my gaze, he broke eye contact. "F-fire," he stuttered.
The shots rang out once more, but I had turned away by then. I couldn't bear to see my little brother's body. Instead, I shifted my eyes to the Nazi who was responsible for all of this. How could you? I wondered. Tears began to blur my vision and my chest felt constricted. I could no longer hold myself up and my knees buckled. The Nazi men moved before me and my heartbeat pounded in my ears as I heard them ready their guns. M-my family…th-they're dead…I squeezed my eyes shut and hung my head, waiting for the word that would kill me.
"Warten Sie!" Huh? I heard footsteps approaching me and lifted my head, coming face-to-face with a pair of beautiful blue eyes. "Are you all right?" Beilschmidt asked, his voice full of concern.
I stared at him in confusion and disbelief. W-what is he doing? More tears rolled down my cheek and the man brought his hand up. I instinctively flinched at the action and closed my eyes in fear. It wasn't until I felt him gently place his hand on my cheek and wipe away my tears that I opened my eyes. I-is he sparing me? I gaped at him in awe, which quickly turned to anger. Why? Why me and not Alexsander? I wanted to scream at him, to curse him for annihilating my family and beg him to put me out of my misery. I knew I should be grateful; that my family would want me to live for them; that I would want Alexsander to if he was in the same situation. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. My heart was too overwhelmed by sadness.
"Ludwig, what are you doing?" questioned one of the Nazi. "Kill her." I peeked at the man who spoke and Ludwig glanced back at him as well.
"Comrade, do you have no heart? No soul?" he inquired. He turned to me with a loving expression. "Do not be afraid, beautiful girl," he whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you."
There was no hiding my shocked reaction. That was the last thing I expected him to say. Did he just call me…beautiful? The same man that lead the raid of my house and ordered the murder of my family?
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I have no choice…"
"W-what?" I stuttered, still wary of him.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," he said to himself. "I can't believe I'm betraying the fatherland…no, this is not what my country stands for. I'm defending it!" He abruptly stood up and pulled out his revolver. He first shot at the Nazis with the rifles and then the ones standing watch behind them.
I staggered back in disbelief. What's he doing?! One Nazi yanked his own gun out of its holster but was too slow to pull the trigger. He's shooting his own men!
When the last Nazi was killed, Ludwig stood still. After a moment, he whirled around to me "We have to run!" he demanded. "Now!"
"W-what?" I repeated my last question, unable to fully comprehend what was happening.
"We need to get as far away from here as possible," he explained. "They're going to be looking for us! Come with me!"
I remained still, unsure of whether I should trust him or not. He did just gun down his own men without warning.
"Come on!" he urged, grabbing my arm and jerking me up. He started sprinting and it took all my strength to keep up with his pace. What's happening?! This…this Nazi…he's…trying to save me?
Suddenly a loud alarm started to blare. We approached a car and he released my arm, ordering me to get in. With no other options, I climbed into the passenger seat as he got into the driver's. He started the car and sped out of the camp. "Where can we go?!" he asked frantically. "Mountains?! Woods?! Anywhere you know of close by?!"
My mind raced but no place came to mind. "N-no! I don't…" I replied.
"Damn it," he cussed. "I guess we'll have to improvise. We have to make you completely German. Your new name is Alicia."
"A-Alicia…" I tested the name on my tongue but it felt foreign. My name is…Alicia now…is what I'm doing right? I wondered. Pretending to be someone else—a German no less—to survive? Would my family approve of this way of living?
"I'm sorry," he apologized unexpectedly. "I'm so sorry." I peered at him from the corner of my eye and noticed his clenched jaw and shamed expression. "My uncle owns a cottage in the woods. It's like a safe house for him," he said. "We'll go there."
After a couple of hours of driving, we pulled onto a deserted road surrounded by woods. It wasn't long until we reached a cottage. Ludwig turned the car off and we got out of the vehicle. "There's a small, fully-stocked kitchen," he described, "a little living room, a bathroom, and…um…" I glanced at him, curious as to why he suddenly seemed hesitant. "One bedroom," he finished, swiftly heading towards the small house.
"The bedroom is down the hall," he informed as we walked in. "I'll be sleeping in the living room tonight. Let me know if you need anything. I'll start some wurst on the oven." He entered the kitchen, leaving me to wander the hut.
I went down the short hallway to the last door and opened it. It was the bedroom. I walked in and shut the door before going over to the window. I sat on the sill and stared up at the full moon, lost in thought. Why is this German doing this? I questioned to myself. He's jeopardizing his life for me? I thought all Germans hated us Jews…
"Alicia?" a gentle voice called out on the other side of the door. "The wurst is done."
I didn't make a move to the door or an attempt to say something.
"Alicia?" he repeated, a hint of distress in his tone. "Are you okay?"
I couldn't' help but bitterly scoff. What a loaded question.
"I-I'm going to come in," he announced nervously. There was a pause and after he realized I wasn't going to respond, he came in on his own accord. His footsteps were thunderous in the tense silence and the creaking of the bed indicated that he had taken a seat there. Neither of us said anything and he sighed. "I'm sorry for what I did," he apologized once again. "I never wanted to kill innocent people, Alicia."
Alicia, Alicia, Alicia! That's not my name! I furrowed my brow in frustration. "My name is Eve," I corrected. "Please call me that when we are in private."
"Eve, will you ever find it in your heart to forgive this man with blood-soaked hands?" he asked.
"How many?" I questioned, avoiding his own inquiry.
"I don't know," he answered. "There have been so many, too many. That bastard Fuhrer has made me kill so many Jews. You were probably the three hundredth house."
"Why me? I'm sure there were hundreds of other girls."
"I don't know. Maybe because you were the only one who stopped me in my tracks."
"How? I did nothing."
"It was your eyes. You were the only one who showed no fear in death. I couldn't deliver it… I just couldn't."
"So this is going to be my life now?" I wondered. "Hiding out and running? Alone?"
"You're not alone," Ludwig said. "I'll be right beside you."
Right beside me? All the way? Or until we're caught? "I'm not hungry," I lied, redirecting the conversation.
"It's all right. It's late." He placed the tray of wurst on the bedside table and stood. "I'm going to bed. You should too." He walked towards the door but halted before leaving. "Goodnight…Eve."
I slightly tilted my head in his direction. "Goodnight…"
"Ludwig. If it means anything to you." And with that, he quietly closed the door and left.
Ludwig…I'm so sorry, I thought. You have shown me so much kindness and I must have brought you so much pain, making you betray your country and comrades. And for what really? Me? I got up and dragged my feet the short distance to the bed, collapsing on it. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep despite all the thoughts whirling around in my head.
After about an hour of sleepless tossing and turning, I came to a decision. I can't do this. I can't! I'm staying in the house of the man who killed my family, who has killed many like us. My people would be ashamed. I must go. I slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the door. When I opened it, I was taken by surprise.
Leaning against the wall beside the door was a sleeping Ludwig. He immediately awoke at the sound of the door and jumped to his feet, his pistol pointed at me before either of us could truly understand what was happening. When the drowsiness left his eyes, he lowered his gun and frowned. "You're leaving, aren't you?" he questioned, though he already knew the answer.
"Uh…I-I…" I trailed off, unsure of how to answer. "I do not want to cause you any more trouble than I already have. I'm sorry."
The last thing I expected was Ludwig to chuckle at my statement. "Cause me trouble? You haven't caused me trouble."
"Yes I have. You betrayed your country and shot your friends because of me."
"I wasn't betraying my country, I was defending it," he corrected. "My country doesn't stand for that. If it did, then I would be ashamed to be from it. And my 'comrades' were strangers I was forced to work with. Eve, you've given me the courage to break away from hell. You've only helped me."
Without out warning, Ludwig threw his arms around me and embraced me tightly. I didn't know what to do or say. A part of me was demanding that I pull away—that I run while I had the chance—but the other part of me wanted to stay like this. I didn't know which side to listen to. So, I let my heart decide.
I wrapped my arms Ludwig and hugged him tightly. I didn't know why or how, but I felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could hurt. With my head against his chest, I could hear his heart thumping—racing—just like mine. I closed my eyes and listened to our hearts beating as one.
We drew back and gazed into each other's eyes. His light blue ones made me forget about everything. He gently caressed my face and I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek against his palm. "Eve…ich liebe dich."
I opened my eyes and was greeted by his loving expression. I beamed and said, "I love you too, Ludwig." A small smile formed on Ludwig's face and I realized this was the first time I had seen him smile. He leaned towards me and I felt his warm lips against mine. I was shocked at first, but quickly melted into the kiss.
We pulled away and Ludwig beamed at me. His smile was so beautiful. "I will protect you, Eve," he swore. "I'll get you out of this terrible country. Somewhere you won't have to hide who you are, where you don't have to be afraid."
"What if they catch us?"
"I'd die before I let them lay a finger on you," he declared, a slight hint of anger in his voice.
The thought of what would happen if we were caught popped into my mind. I imagined what they'd do to me, what they'd do to Ludwig. My body began to shake and I buried my face in his chest, tightening my hold on him. "I'd rather die than go on without you," I whispered.
"Don't think like that," chided Ludwig as he tenderly stroked my hair. "I won't let that become an option. I'll get you somewhere safe if it's the last thing I do."
"You're all I have. I can't lose you. If I did, I'd…I'd…" I trailed off, not wanting to imagine a future without Ludwig.
"It's okay, Eve. That won't happen."
"But what if it does?" I pressed, my voice cracking a little.
"I promise you, we will cross the border together."
"You promise?"
"Yes, I do."
I wasn't exactly sure why, but relief flooded through my body at his words. "Thank you, Ludwig."
"Why are you thanking me?" he questioned. "I'm the reason you're here. I'm the reason you're alone and in danger. I should be thanking you for finding it in your heart to forgive this corrupted soul."
"I was in danger before I even met you," I said. "And you said it yourself that I'm not alone. That you're going to be by my side and cross the border with me."
"And I meant it."
"I know. And, because of you, I'm standing here, alive." Ludwig didn't say anything and I added, "Because of you, I have hope now. I hope that we'll make it to the border and I hope that when we get there…well, I hope that you'll stay with me. Forever."
"I won't ever leave your side," promised Ludwig with a smile.
"Neither will I," I swore with my own gentle grin. He leaned down, tenderly kissing me, and I instantly knew that I had nothing to worry about as long as he was by my side. No matter what Ludwig thought of himself, he would always be an angel to me. My beautiful guardian angel.