I saw her falling. Falling out of my arms. Her deep green eyes begged me to catch her. I tried. My arms wouldn't obey my mind. I tried desperately to call out to her. My mouth wouldn't obey my mind either.
No! Why can't I save her?!
"NO!" I awoke, screaming, tears running down my hot cheeks.
"Hawke. Hawke! It's alright", I heard a deep voice next to me.
"No. No. NO! I cannot…" I cried, throwing the covers ferociously off of my scorching body.
The cold night air instantly stole my breath away as I only wore a light nightgown.
"Hawke. Hawke! Stop," Fenris shout-whispered in a pleading voice.
I felt his strong hand reach out to grab my wrist gently, but I wrestled out of his grasp and stumbled to our bedroom door. I made my way blindly in the dark, desperately trying to find the door to her room.
When I finally turned the handle, ignoring Fenris' calls from behind, I stopped and stared.
There she was. The image of perfection. Her small body was bundled up in the wolf pelt blankets and unmoving. Her hair was a cross between snow white and a glimmering silver that laid perfectly around her peaceful face.
I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding, and felt all of my weight lean backwards. I feared falling until I fell back into something lean and hard. I let out a shaky sigh as I felt Fenris' arms reach around me and support my weak legs.
"Lefay", he whispered my first name, tickling my ear.
"I cannot…"
I had to know if she was real. I needed to touch her.
"Don't wake her," he said, as I slipped out of his embrace.
I wasn't going to wake her. Not when she was enjoying her sleep so. With a careful hand, I slowly brushed the back of my hand along her smooth, innocent cheek. When her lips slightly turned up in a hint of a smile, I felt my tears return.
She was real. Safe.
"Lefay," I felt Fenris come behind me once more, and I didn't struggle as he effortlessly lifted me in his arms.
As he carried me back to our room, he sat down on our bed with me still in his arms.
"Fenris… I had to see her," I whispered, choking on my sobs.
"I know, love," he soothed, kissing away my tears.
I don't know how long we sat there in silence. When he finally released me to light the candle beside the bed, I instantly missed his presence and warmth.
As soon as he left, he returned wrapping me in his arms once again, and laying my head against his sturdy, bare chest.
"What did you see?" he asked softly into my disheveled hair.
I clenched my eyes shut, not wanting to remember.
"I lost her", I murmured into his chest. "Just like I lost mother".
I felt his hand lift my chin, and I slowly raised my eyes to his.
"It wasn't your fault. You know that."
I bit my lip at his words, remembering my mother's still face. Her unblinking eyes.
"I will never, ever, let any harm come to our daughter," Fenris said, his strong voice unwavering.
"I know," I replied with a quivering smile.
"I will always protect both of my girls above anything in this world."
And for once in my life, I felt safe. Secure.
"Promise?" I whispered the question to which I already knew the answer.
Taking his time, he cupped my face in his hands and tenderly stroked my wet cheeks.
"I promise. With all my heart, Lefay," he finally spoke, his voice cracking with emotion.
He slowly brought his lips down upon mine and sealed the promise with a kiss. As I felt his arms tighten around my waist, I reached up and ran my fingers through his silky hair that matched our daughter's.
I eventually fell asleep in his arms that night, content in knowing that he would never break his promise.