Previously, on G.I. Joe: Following defeat….

"We've lost, Destro, lost! And it's all your doing!"

….after defeat….

"My cubes! My wonderful cubes! All gone! Now I'll never rule the world! I hate this job!"

…..after humiliating defeat…..

"Ignore Cobra Commander! He's a *jerk*!"

"That is disgusting!"

…..Cobra Commander was replaced as the leader of his own evil organization by the genetically-engineered Cobra Emperor, Serpentor.

"Let those who fear me, follow me! Let those who oppose me, *die*! For I am Serpentor, and *THIS*, I command!"

However, Serpentor also proved unable to defeat G.I. Joe, and his true creator and the true leader of Cobra, Golubulus, revealed himself and introduced his own diabolical scheme to conquer the world by stealing the Broadcast Energy Transmitter, an experimental energy generator, and using it to activate mutation spores to devolve every man, woman, and child on Earth into mindless beasts.

Tragedy strikes the G.I. Joe team when Duke sacrifices himself to save his half brother, Lt. Falcon, from an attack by Serpentor….

"Die, arrogant Earth scum!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

…..leaving G.I. Joe's second in command in a coma. Falcon then lead a successful attack to stop the spores from being activated, and Duke came out of his coma, but is this really the end of Cobra? Find out today as we begin the exciting third season of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero!

The Serpent's Rebirth

Written by:

Garrett Aja

"COBRA!"

Massive amounts of Cobra Troopers, Officers, and Crimson Guardsmen, stormed the Washington Mall, flanked by HISS tanks, Ferrets, and Stingers on the ground, and hordes of Rattlers and FANGs in the skies. The unfortunate tourists taking in the sights of America's capitol on this warm and sunny day quickly began to flee in terror, leaving the area free to the Cobra army…

…and an even larger contingent of G.I. Joe forces.

A dozen MOBATs opened fire on the Cobras, causing instant disarray. In the skies, 5 wings of Skystrikers swooped down on the enemy fighters, and the rout was on. The Officers and Guardsmen who were not knocked out by the explosions and shrapnel made the first, somewhat dignified exit from the battle, leaving the Troopers behind to stumble about pathetically behind their superiors. Sensing that their job was done, the Joes began celebrating, until they all froze visibly, and a voice declared:

"Six months ago, G.I. Joe fought Cobra in the Himalayan Mountains, and since that point, no one has heard from the world's most notorious terrorist organization."

"Furthermore," continued Hector Ramirez, sitting at the anchor desk of his notorious news show (which some would argue-and not entirely without merit-as being a mockery of the word, "news"), 20 Questions, "it has been revealed that longtime G.I. Joe commander Sergeant Conrad "Duke" Hauser-who was seemingly demoted a year ago when when General Clayton "Hawk" Abernathy assumed command of the team-had left the team to recuperate from injuries sustained when defending a new top-secret energy collection device called the Broadcast Energy Transmitter, a move that could signal massive upheaval for the anti-terrorist team."

"Tonight, we will reveal the incredible story of how Duke was injured, why Cobra stole the BET, and how it ties into the mysterious pods found in Earth's orbit just before the last battle between G.I. Joe and Cobra-and MORE!-on a Special Edition of…."

"TWENTY QUESTIONS! America's top news show! Hosted by Pulitzer Award-winning host, Hector Rami-"

The TV in G.I. Joe's rec room turned, mercifully, to a baseball game instead of the airing of the team's dirty laundry. "Thank you!" declared Cover Girl with obvious relief in her voice. "I can't stand that guy!"

"What gives him the right to exploit us for ratings?" asked Gung-Ho as he set the remote down on the large glass-topped coffee table that stood in front of the rec room's couch.

"The First Amendment," replied Lady Jaye without a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "There's no Official Secrets Act in this country, remember?"

"Yeah, well they should change that," grumbled the cajun Marine. "It's not right that some weasel like Ramirez can outright accuse Hawk of kicking Duke off the base."

"Especially when we all know it was Scarlett who chased him away," muttered Cover Girl bitterly.

"That's not fair, and you know it," chided Lady Jaye. "We're still subject to the UCMJ, you know."

"That's a lame excuse, and you know it," answered Cover Girl as she leaned back in her chair. "We all happily violate a dozen provisions of the Code, and I'm fairly certain that the Pentagon is well aware of it."

"That's a pretty harsh accusation, Courtney," answered Flint, who was practically proving Cover Girl's point by sitting beside Lady Jaye with his arm draped around her.

"That's because General Flagg retired before you joined the team," reasoned the ex-model. "Things weren't like they were with Colonel Sharpe around, or are under Hawk. The General was here nearly every day, it seemed, watching us-and Duke. Few of the higher ups in Washington were even convinced that there was a threat, but not General Flagg. He was preparing us-and Duke-for war. Flagg could have put a stop to our rule-bending and joking around with no question from any of us, but he didn't. And he knew about Duke and Scarlett."

"He bet in the pool," confirmed Gung-Ho.

"What pool?" asked Falcon, who was hopelessly confused about the discussion at hand other than the fact that it involved his half-brother.

"The betting pool on when your brother and Scarlett will finally get together," answered Jinx, annoyed at her boyfriend's denseness. "You know, the one Scarlett's been ruining by getting all emo and refusing to see Duke since he saved your life?"

Still confused, Falcon asked, "What does that have to do with this Ramirez guy talking trash about my brother?"

Jinx could only groan in frustration.

"What's Hector Ramirez saying about Duke?" Six heads swiveled around and recoiled when they saw Scarlett standing there with a puzzled look on her face. "And why are you guys looking at me like that?"

Cover Girl scowled, sighed loudly, and opened her mouth. "Ramirez is running a story on the Cobra-La incident, and is trying to make it sound like Hawk is forcing him out, even though we all know it's you that's responsible."

Gung-Ho, Flint, Falcon, and Jinx gasped. Lady Jaye facepalmed.

"WHAT?" blurted out Scarlett, now on the defensive. "How can you say that? We've been friends-"

"Friends visit friends in the hospital when one of them has nearly died," growled Cover Girl as she stood up and approached the counterintelligence specialist. "Duke waited, and waited, and asked, and we covered for you…..and then you left to enter Officer Candidate School without saying a word to any of us. You have no right calling yourself his friend."

"Like you can talk," spat out Scarlett venomously. "You've spent years pining for Duke, even though he couldn't possibly be bothered with you. Did you at least get to kiss him this time?"

By now, Cover Girl was devastated, and in tears. Lashing out at Scarlett, she slapped the redhead-and hard-which, had the others not been present, would have led to a knock-down, drag-out fight. Instead, Gung-Ho ended up restraining Scarlett, and Jinx doing the same to Cover Girl, though both found the job to be a bit like trying to put a nervous cat into a kitty carrier.

Flint, for his part, was completely livid. "Gung-Ho, Jinx, take these two to Hawk's office. Falcon, go get the general." Not wanting to further provoke Flint's anger, the three Joes left post-haste.

"Flint," pleaded Lady Jaye, "are you really going to-"

"I don't want to discuss it, Ali," growled the warrant officer. "Something has to be done about this."

Lady Jaye looked her boyfriend directly in the face, trying to get him to change his mind, to no avail. Flint somewhat guiltily turned away from her, and left the brunette behind in the now-deserted rec room as quickly as he could.

"….For their part, the Department of Defense denies that Duke has permanently left G.I. Joe, but notes there is no timetable for-"

SMASH!

Serpentor seethed as the chair he had just thrown smoldered in the remains of the huge TV set that dominated the otherwise reserved office of Tomax and Xamot in the penthouse suite of the Extensive Enterprise Towers. "CHARLATANS! LIARS! I shall have their HEADS! THIS, I COMMAND!"

"Your Highness," began Tomax, "Ramirez is many things….."

"…..but an outright liar is not one of them," continued Xamot.

"Duke is alive and well."

The assessment of Duke's fate by the Crimson Guard Commanders did nothing to assuage the seething Emperor. He, the perfect leader, had failed-again! "G.I. Joe must pay for this insult! We must level their pathetic Headquarters immediately! This, I command!"

Destro, who had, to this point, been silent, declared, "We lack the resources for a full scale assault, my lord. Furthermore, we need fighters other than the Mambas to take on the G.I. Joe air forces!"

"NO EXCUSES!" screamed Serpentor. "I want the assault force ready by the end of the week! And once we have reduced G.I. Joe's army to rubble, none shall stand against us! THIS, I Command!"