Bonkai FanficThe first sign of madness...
Her hand hesitates. The bottles before her seem to laugh at her, giggle at her foolishness. The bourbon is laughing at her. Stupid and stubborn tears start to well up in her green eyes and the lump in her throat grows bigger for every second. For days the things around her have been judging her, but the thing is that she doesn't understand what for. What did she do?
Her fingers twitches a few times before her hands drop to the sides. The bourbon is not something she should drink alone, the bourbon is Damon's sanctuary. Even though he's not here, she can't do something that is clearly his thing. She drank it in the beginning, more than she should have, but now the taste leaves a bad taste of sadness on her tongue.
"But he left you, he hasn't come back to save you. No one has..." Bonnie shakes her head, tries to shake the thoughts of her loved ones on the other side. It's not worth the pain in her heart.
She continues to walk down the rows of food, with the shopping cart before her. So far, the only groceries she has picked out, and with out bigger thought dropped in the cart, are milk, flour and eggs.
If she now is going insane, why not go insane with a stack of pancakes by her side?
The lonely sound of her shoes against the floor doesn't make the feeling of total loneliness better. This dark beast inside her head is just getting bigger, feed by her lonely heart. To make the sound disappear she forces her hoarse throat to make different tones, random melodies, that no one can point out she's singing wrong.
"Don't even think about it, don't even think about it... Kill the lights...", she hums while heading toward the fruit section. The wheel on the cart is making a terrible squeaking noise, and every time it makes the noise, her eye twitches in irritation. Of all the carts she could have chosen, she chose that one, and it grinds her gears more than it should, 'cause she knows that in her mind the cart is something entirely different than simply a cart. It's the frustration of being her. Of her choices in life. Her fate, that some idiot wrote to piss her off.
The anger that's building inside her feels wrong, as if she doesn't have the right to be angry. Everyone says she's such a good girl, and for years she hasn't been able to let go of that. But she's all alone... Maybe it's time to let it go. Maybe it's time to think of herself first. 'Cause there is no one here to put over herself. No one to save. No one to die for.
"I can say one thing, you won't have die for me, Bon-Bon." The sound of another human voice makes her jump and she can hear her pulse in her ears. Kai smirks when he sees her eyes widen in shock. Slowly he walks over to her. "And you really should stop talking out loud." He chuckles. "People might think you're going insane", he whispers dramatically and a wide grin is decorating his, already dangerously handsome, face.
"What are you doing here, Kai?" The shock is now gone, anger is taking its place instead. "You stabbed me, you bastard!" Her hand touches her stomach when remembering all the things he did to her.
"I make mistakes too, Bon-Bon", he replies with a soft voice.
"Wait! What did you say?" she giggles in disbelief. "You, Malachai effing Parker, make mistakes? Where the hell did that come from?" She rises her eyebrow.
"Well, dear Bonnie Bennett", he mocks with the same tone on her name as she did on his. "I merged with Lucas, and these weird, gross, things called 'feelings'" he makes quotation marks in the air. "awoke in me... I know, it's such a pain in the ass!" Kai sighs and rolls his eyes.
"I don't see how this has anything to do with me!" Bonnie bursts out. "Why are you here and not killing your whole damn family?" she asks.
"I want your forgiveness." Kai doesn't smirk nor make a joke out of his words. He simply stands there. Dead serious.
His change makes Bonnie step back. He can't be serious. She wants to scream at him, laugh and spit in his face, but the only action she can do is grabbing her cart with firm hands and start to pull it toward the fruit section once again. She can hear him shout after her, hear him running behind her, but she ignores him. Bonnie breathes in and out. This is not reality, you're all alone. You are just going mad...
"Don't ignore me, Bonnie", Kai screams after her. He is much faster than she is and soon he is right beside her again. "You should be happy, you are not all alone anymore!"
"I would rather be alone for eternity than be with you!" Bonnie snaps.
"Ouch" He makes a grimace. "Harsh, Bon-Bon", Kai pouts, but the image is soon destroyed by his devilish grin. "If you would only listen to-"
"I don't want your bullshit, Kai, leave me alone." The energy is leaving her and her hands are shaking. A moment ago she was alone, with no hope of ever coming back, and now he is here.
They are, finally, at the fruit section and Bonnie lets her hands do something, be occupied so she won't hit Kai in the face. So she won't hit him hard. She picks up a box of cherries and for a second she forgets her sociopath visitor.
"I love cherries too, especially when they 'pop'", Kai teases, grinning. "Do you want me to 'pop' yours?"
She chuckles at him and rolls her eyes.
"I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but it's already popped. A long time ago", she replies and wrinkles her nose. If Grams was here she would want Bonnie to wash her mouth with soap. She drops the box in the cart and begins to go to the exit, leaving Kai with a fading grin. He quickly masks his feelings and follows her.
"Yeah, now I remember", he adds with a wolfish smile but his voice doesn't have the same edge as before. "The boyfriend. What was his name again? Jerome? Jake?" he asks, even though he already know his name very well. For weeks Kai has been dreaming of that name on a tombstone.
"Jeremy. His name is Jeremy", she mutters under her breath, waiting for the pain. But the pain is not there, and it terrifies her.
Bonnie looks over at Kai, tries to feel as disgusted as she did before, but she can only feel her
heartbeat become quicker. She is angry at him, of course she is, but the one thing she was afraid would happen, happened. The anger she feels for him is a disguise for what one part of her feels.
Kai Parker, a sociopath and a murderer, is under her skin.
The first sign of madness... Hearing more than your own whispers. Hearing more than your own scream.