How leaves fix broken souls
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor do I own the quote I used in this chapter from a song if you catch the quote and can tell me the song I'll give you a cookie
Chapter One: The Backstory
To all who it may concern you have found the memoirs of a kunoichi named Yuki but I was once in another life known as Elise. I must admit I'm impressed you did so as these memoirs are entirely mental and don't actually exist. The fact you found them means you are a Yamanaka and I am therefore rather fucked or dead, I hope it's the second. I do not relish the thought of being seen as a traitor since I am not and never have been one I just have the great misfortune of remembering my past life. Then again apparently misfortune is a theme for me.
In my previous incarnation, I was born the first daughter to an ex-navy sergeant with bipolar disorder and his paranoid civilian wife. It was a bad combo from the start and adding a girl with a genetic predisposition to being wonky upstairs only added fuel to a fire that never should have been lit. My parents divorced when I was seven and that began the period of my life I called hell. After being diagnosed with childhood onset bipolar disorder my mother proceeded to blame my mental illness for every mess up I made whether it was normal for a child grieving their parent's marriage or not.
Every infraction that was not perfect behavior got me locked up in an emergency psyche ward with my own mother justifying the lies she used and forced me to use too to get me admitted by convincing herself I needed the help. From the age of eight years old to the age of sixteen I spent more time in a panic room then I did in my own bedroom. To deal with the pain of my reality I desperately wished to be part of another and I read everything I could get my hands on. My favorite was Naruto something about a world of people clever enough to live the way they did appealed to my prescription drug addled mind. And yes my mind was drug addled after all the doctor knows what they are talking about and I was just a crazy little girl.
Maybe that's why I have trouble believing my reality but then I remember how I got here and I get over it fast. After I turned sixteen my dad got custody and things would get better but I had scars on my heart of the kind only an abusive mother could cause and those don't really heal, not really anyways. Anyways after my dad got custody he spent a lot of time and energy getting me stable enough to live my life and by the time I was eighteen I was ready to try. I kept messing up and only really got it right by the time I was twenty-one and by then I had picked up whatever coping skills worked not what was healthy.
I ate and I ate a lot by the time I met the man of my dreams I was three hundred pounds and gaining. That's how I knew he loved me you know, what man would put up with a crazy damaged nut case of a women if she doesn't look like a model unless he loved her. So anyways my life was finally picking up and my dear sweet boyfriend begged me to lose weight but I just couldn't do it. Then I was pregnant and I knew my weight would complicate things but I refused to give up on my child because somewhere in my damaged twisted heart I loved my daughter already.
The time came and I pushed with everything I ever had and then some. Even now after years of being a kunoichi I still think it's the worst pain I ever experienced. I got to take one look at my darling daughter before it happened. My heart simply gave out it couldn't handle the strain of my hard life and my weight with child birth added in.
I almost got committed in this life too when I finally realized this wasn't a coma dream and I couldn't stop laughing and crying at the same time. Hysteria wasn't cute on a three year old luckily it got blamed on the fact that I was an orphan and I had watched my shinobi parents get gutted right before me in an assassination attempt that went well. Tou-san was a bodyguard nin and Kaa-san an iryou nin.
So maybe some of my obsession with success in this life came from being so close to something resembling it in my past life and then failing because of my own mistake. I knew what I had to be to succeed in this life when I realized where I was in order to be a success. So when a man in a flak jacket came by to ask the matron of my orphanage who amongst us orphans was the best candidate to be a potential ninja for the village hidden in the leaves I walked right up to him and demanded to go and when the matron tried to tell me no I had to be hauled off of her with bits of her flesh stuck between my teeth because I was so desperate not to be where I was before, I lunged at her swinging my fists and when they tried to pull me off I bit her. There were no complaints about my placement in the academy after that even if I did have to go through a mandatory psyche evaluation.
All they found was a desperate desire to be a success and they attributed that to my parents in this life. That was also how I met my two best friends in this life. In my old life I would have in equal parts hated and envied Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno for being everything I wished I could be but now I was determined to be their equal. Which is why when I walked out of Inoichi-sans home office and met the two I was actually really nice rather than the spiteful bitch I knew I could be in my old life. I guess you could say circumstances in this life put me in a position to put my best foot forward but mostly I think it was fate or destinies half ass apology for the shit I dealt with before.
"Hi I'm Yuki," I said smiling brightly at the other blond in front of me and her pink-haired friend.
Ino Yamanaka at the age of five was a skinny little girl with a blond bob for a haircut and bright blue eyes gleaming already from the sheer perceptiveness her clan's genes granted her. She was wearing a purple dress over white pants. Sakura who was standing just behind her had her pink hair held back with the red ribbon that I knew would later be replaced with a hitai-ate. Her bright green eyes were peaking over Ino's shoulders curiously showing that even at the grand age of five Sakura Haruno was very smart.
As for me, I was a little less impressive then again us girls are always our own worst critics appearance wise. I had white blond hair tied into long pigtails so light it looked white under direct light hence why I was named Yuki. I was wearing light blue shorts and a plain white shirt big enough to cover the shorts that I had gotten from an older boy who lives in the orphanage that was too big for me so it was hanging off of one shoulder. At that moment my light smoke gray eyes were smiling right along with my face in the hopes of making friends.
With all of the tact of a five year old which is to say none Ino turned to her Tou-san and asked: "Who is she Tou-san?".
Inoichi smiled gently at his only daughter and said: "This is Yuki-chan and she will be joining you in the academy and I was hoping if Yuki doesn't mind help us in our flower shop?".
I, of course, translated that as him wanting to keep a closer eye on my mental health than I was comfortable with. The old me would have thrown a fit and gotten in trouble for it. The new me had a new body not genetically predisposed to mental illness and a daughter I never got to know to answer to in the afterlife. I figured if I had to give her the first story she heard from her mother after we were both dead and gone I might as well make it a good one. In order to do that I'd have to succeed and in order to do that everything had to be played to an advantage.
"ok I'd love to help but I want some training in return," I said grinning from ear to ear.
Inoichi arched a delicate eyebrow and said perhaps more insightfully than I liked "What would you like training in then,".
"I want to make my family proud so I need to be good so I want to be trained in something easy to use but hard to fight,".
Ino then piped up with all the enthusiasm of a five year old with an idea "What about poisons Tou-san she is already gonna work on the plants why not teach her what some of them can do like that pretty pink one you showed me last week!".
That was how Yuki the poisonous flower of the leaf began her career as a kunoichi of the hidden leaf even if it was rather unconventional, after all so am I.
A/N: so first of all yes this is an SI fic no that's not a perfect copy of who I am. Those are the facts of my life no my name is not Elise that's just really close to my actual name lol. Yes I am morbidly obese and yes I did have a pregnancy scare after that and realizing what could have happened I've since lost Fifty pounds and gaining. This is equal parts therapy for me and a writing experiment to see if I can actually finish writing a story so if you like this fic and want it to continue then review because I have a bad habit of giving up writing it until it's too late to pick it back up again. Please warn me if Yuki gets too OP and sueish but please explain why so I can work on it rather than just saying she is a mary sue cause I will just ignore you. Btw all hateful flames that are personal attacks will get blocked and reported I was practically raised in an insane asylum I will not accept further abuse of my person. Yuki will get paired with Kiba eventually mostly because he reminds me of my fiance and secondly cause I like the character and no that is not up for debate. Most of my knowledge is from reading the manga sporadically over the years and the narutopedia. Btw I hate the way the epilogue was done and I refuse to write this as a carbon copy with a new character. Will she be team seven no but she will be in Naruto's social circle don't like Au then get over it. Secondly I refuse to only write straight parings I live in the real world where all kinds of couples and even thruples exist and the ninja have a hard enough life that I doubt unless you are a clan heir or heiress that anyone cares who you sleep with and as such there will be slash and femslash if not graphic. I refuse to accept the epilogue as cannon and no I will not argue that. However, I am also not going to destroy canon I am playing with using the butterfly effect to build my story naturally.