Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All of this came from the wonderful mind of Rick Riordan and all rights belong to him for his absolutely amazing inventions.
If you want a full blown Angst fic listen to the song Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne or Broken by Lifehouse.
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"I wonder if that's just how it feels to miss someone so bad – like being stabbed in the gut a little bit, each time you think of them."- Kate Ellison, Notes From Ghost Town
"Growth in love comes from a place of absence, where the imagination is left to it's own devices and creates you to be much more then reality would ever allow." - Coco J. Ginger
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Flipping pancakes was not Leo Valdez'z specialty.
The pancake mix running down his right arm, which was currently holding a flipper, and the white flour that was undoubtedly mixed throughout his hair was testimony to that. Leo was a master of many things. Making a Ronald McDonald chicken mcnugget chucker out of a few wires, a fork, and a cardboard box? Sure, no problem. Fixing a haywire dragon that breathes fire? Sheesh, that was child's play.
But pancakes? That was where Leo drew the line. You might as well have asked him to cure world sickness, or reverse global warming.
In other words it was completely freaking impossible.
He didn't know how those crazy product selling commercials managed to make that perfect pancake they always showed on the screen. All golden and fluffy and it would have that perfect little square of butter in the exact center, and everyone would eat it like it wasn't some big anomaly in the world while using the certain product the commercial was trying to sell.
Fake. It had to all be fake, Leo decided, because there was just no way anyone could make a pancake like that.
It was all a lie! The infomercials had been lying to them all! Leo wondered, if the infomercials had been lying to him, then who was there that he could really trust?
Leo cracked up, wondering if it was overtiredness or just that he was so dang funny in his head.
He decided that it just wasn't going to work. Leo certainly wasn't going to waste anymore time trying.
He looked down at the glob in the middle of the pan that was supposed to be Leo's breakfast. It looked more like a pile of goo that kind of resembled a circle. Vaguely.
He groaned in frustration and ran a hand through his hair, not even caring if he looked half albino from the flour that was now covering him. With a sigh of defeat he picked up the pan and threw the almost (but not really) pancake into the garbage and set to cleaning up. He had just finished washing everything when Piper entered the room yawning, followed closely by Jason.
Jason was speaking heatedly when he walked in right after her. "I just don't remember his name, but there was this statue-" The son of Jupiter went to sit down but froze in his seat when he caught sight of Leo. "Dude, what happened in here? Is there some unkown monster made of flour that you've just defeated?"
Piper smiled at her boyfriend and went to sit next to him while Leo frowned at the couple. "Ha ha very funny, Sparky."
Jason's face soured at the nickname and he pointed a plastic fork at Leo threateningly. "Watch it Valdez, or I might just have to team up with the flour."
"It doesn't look like the flour needs any help," Piper joined in while holding back a laugh. "It seems to be doing just fine on it's own."
Leo groaned. "Wow, I just love you guys, y'know that? I already feel like a powdered donut, no need to rub it in."
Jason looked him over head to toe while Piper laughed. "So Repair Boy, what exactly were you trying to accomplish here?"
"You know I don't like being called Repair Boy, Piper." Leo answered, trying in vain to ignore the question.
Jason chuckled while Piper just rolled her eyes. "And you know I'm not going to stop calling you it. So? What were you doing?"
Leo looked down at his hands which were starting to stick from the paste currently on them. "I was trying to make a pancake."
There was several seconds of silence before Leo looked up and he could see both of his best friends trying to hold in their laughter. He frowned at them both. "You guys suck."
Piper was gasping with effort and an occasional chuckle escaped Jason as he spoke. "We're sorry Leo. It's just... have you looked in a mirror lately?"
That was another thing. Since Jason and Piper had started dating Leo noticed they would say 'we' a lot. Referring to them as one unit, speaking for one another all the time.
Leo was happy for his friends for becoming a couple, he really was. But it made him start to feel alone and he found himself spending more and more time focusing on the Argo with his friends doing romantic couple stuff together. Most of the time he would brush it off, but occasionally he couldn't help but feel like he was once again excluded. And he knew they didn't do it on purpose, gods of course they wouldn't, but Leo couldn't help but sometimes feel like a bit of an outcast.
He had found himself sending a silent plea to Piper's mom, Aphrodite, once in a while. He knew she probably hated him because he was the son of Hephaestus (not exactly her favourite god) but he knew if anyone could help him with his girl troubles it would be her.
Leo shook his head to clear his thoughts and forced a smile. "I guess I should go get cleaned up, huh?"
Piper nodded and carefully took the egg flipper from his hands. "And while you're at it, go and wake Annabeth. She should eat something. Tell her we have lot's of blue dye stored in the cupboards if that'll make her want something." Piper looked down before meeting his eyes and smiling. "Meanwhile, I'll make breakfast."
Leo let her lead him out of the room, wondering if that was a subtle way of getting him to leave them alone when he heard the door close behind him softly. He shook his head at the thought however. No, they wouldn't do that. Besides, he was in there first. They could have just left if they wanted to be alone.
Leo squeezed his eyes shut. He shouldn't be thinking these things. Piper and Jason were his friends. His best friends. They had saved him more times than he could count and they had been the ones who handled him when he was hyped up on extremely caffeinated coffee to help him work on the Argo II through the night.
But it was like this cold little voice was in the back of his head, whispering to him and causing him to worry.
Leo stopped when he reached his bathroom (adjoined to his own sleeping quarters thank you very much) and stopped in front of the mirror.
He really did look like he had lost a fight with a bag of flour. His hair made him look like an old man, striped through with white powder as it was, and there was a drop of pancake mix forming on Leo's left ear that he somehow hadn't felt. Then there was the strip of mix on his right arm from before and his shirt may as well have been made white instead of orange as it was completly covered. Somehow his jeans had been spared. There wasn't a single thing on them.
Leo shook his head and turned on the tap in the sink. Splashing his face he managed to wipe the goo off of his face and arm. He quickly combed through his hair, leaving only the barest flecks of white that a shower could get out later, and he changed his former orange Camp Half-Blood shirt for a new one.
When he checked the mirror again he nodded, satisfied. It would do.
He was headed back to the mess hall before remembering Piper's request to ask Annabeth to come to breakfast.
Again, Leo sighed. His last attempt at getting Annabeth to eat something had ended with her threatening to geld him with her dagger, something Leo did not want a repeat off. And his attempt had gone better than both Piper's and Jason's. Something which would be worrying to normal people but Leo just found it funny.
Hey, Jason hovering in the corner of a room to avoid Annabeth's swipes at him had just been too funny.
So Leo spun around and made his way to the door of Annabeth's room. He hesitated only a moment before knocking on her door, steeling his nerves to what he might find on the other side of the door.
Annabeth was fine on the outside, if you didn't look carefully. And the biggest freakout she had ever had in front of Leo had been the day they met when she had almost seriously stabbed Jason and yelled in Leo and Piper's faces.
At the time he had labeled her a crazy lady who had somehow aquired a dagger. Now he knew the truth.
They hadn't witnessed a crazy lady episode. They had seen Annabeth when she learned that her boyfriend was still gone and had her hope twisted and pulled apart right before her eyes.
And over the months Leo had grown surprisingly close to the girl, feeling like a sort of younger brother to her. She had been one of the only people (outside Leo's cabin mates) who knew how to operate this huge flying water vessel they were currently crossing the country in. She was the only one who had stayed and worked through nights like Leo had, working even harder and longer then even he had.
This ship was as much Annabeth's baby as it was Leo's.
Oh gods, he groaned internally. That sounds so wrong. Okay, erase, reboot. Memory wiped.
Annabeth opened her door clad in jean shorts, a Camp tank, with her hair up. Her dagger was, as always, strapped to her hip and her reeboks sneakers were white and would probably leave black shoe marks on Leo's beautiful floors.
But he managed to set that aside and smile at her. "Hey 'Beth!"
Annabeth frowned and leaned against her door frame, crossing her arms as she did so. "I told you not to call me that Leo."
Leo resisted the urge to roll his eyes and exclaim that he told Piper the same thing but she didn't listen so why should he, because it made him sound like a pouting 2 year old.
That would not help Leo's image.
Plus Annabeth was scary. With or without her dagger.
He smiled at her. "But it's such a great nickna-"
"Leo."
"You're right, I should stop," he all but squeeked out before clearing his throat and smiling at her. "Piper wanted to know if you were coming to breakfast this morning."
Changing the subject. Good. Travis and Connor would be so proud.
Annabeth frowned and moved away from the door to sit on her bunk, Leo took that as a silent invitation to come in. He stood just in front of the door, a little awkwardly, while Annabeth went to sit on her bed.
"I don't know." She said finally.
Leo, who's ADHD mind had been busy staring at a fly that was insistently buzzing and smacking it's head against the corner of Annabeth's window, started at her voice. "What?"
Annabeth glanced at him strangely before shrugging to herself and looking away from him. "I don't know if I'll be at breakfast."
"Oh," he said remembering their conversation. "Oh alright. That's cool, I'll just tell Piper to save you something for later."
Annabeth was staring at a spot beside him while nodded distractedly at his words and Leo made to head out when he caught sight of a picture of Annabeth's bedside table.
He leaned down to look at it, not recognizing the boy in it.
He was tall, taller than Annabeth by a couple of inches, and tan. He had a surfer's look except he wasn't blonde. His hair was raven black and messy but in the skater sort of way, and his frame was all muscle and 0 fat. His eyes were easily the most eye-drawing thing about him though. They were the exact color of the sea, an unusual light green, and they looked happy. He wore a Camp t-shirt and jeans and was looking at Annabeth (who he had an arm around) with a sparkle in his eyes that Leo hadn't seen in anyone before.
Annabeth was leaning into the guy and her head was resting on his shoulder. She was wearing the usual orange tank top, some white shorts and was smiling super bright at the camera. She looked different than how she looked now. She looked relaxed, and calm.
She looked happy.
And that same sparkle that was in the guy's eyes were in hers as well.
A sound from behind him made him turn, and he had opened his mouth ready to apologize when he caught sight of the girl in front of him.
She was staring at the picture Leo had been studying just moment's before with so much longing that Leo was amazed she wasn't consumed by it. And it was only when she made the same sound as from a moment ago that Leo realized Annabeth Chase was crying.
Now Annabeth didn't cry. Leo had never seen that girl shed a tear in the whole time he had known her and the most emotional she had been was when she snapped at Jason, Piper and him for not being her boyfriend the day they met. He had seen the girl fight Clarisse and win.
Nothing broke Annabeth Chase. She was the person who was always calm and knew what to do. She was the girl who ordered everyone around because she knew what the best course of action was. She was not weak, she did not need help.
Until now.
Leo supposed that maybe Percy Jackson was the only one who had seen Annabeth cry. He was probably the only one who knew what to do when she did cry, because right now Leo was standing there, probably with his mouth gaping open like a fish.
It was only when tears started to fall from Annabeth's eyes that Leo spoke.
"Annabeth?" He asked hesitantly, carefully. "Ummm... do you wanna talk about it?"
Great move Valdez, he scolded himself as Annabeth looked up. Why don't you just go and replace Doctor Phil?
Annabeth shook her head. "I'm fine Leo," she said, despite her voice shaking. When she spoke again there was the familiar tone of steel in the sound. "I'm fine."
Leo looked at the girl, who was obviously not fine, in front of him and then slowly moved to close the door. When that was done he turned around and walked over to the bed to sit beside her.
"When a girl starts crying she's usually not fine, Annabeth." Leo said quietly.
She looked at him a moment before nodding. Then she smiled a little. "Okay, obviously I'm not fine. But I'm coping Leo. I'm managing."
Leo studied her, took in her swollen bloodshot eyes with bags under them and her pale skin. Her frame that had lost too much weight for Leo's liking and the way she kept glancing at the picture like she was afraid it would leave her just like the boy in it had.
"No, Annabeth. You're not."
He didn't know where the guts to contradict this girl came from. All he knew was that there was a very good friend of his in front of him, falling apart before his eyes, and he needed to help her.
Plus he really wanted to eat the pancake he was hoping Piper was making for him. But that could only come after he helped Annabeth.
She sighed and seemed to crumble just that much more as he watched her. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down. "Are we almost there, Leo?"
He nodded before realizing she wouldn't see him. Then he cleared his throat. "Ya, we're almost there. I think a day or 2 more and we'll be surrounded by Romans. Not just Jason."
Annabeth looked up at him and Leo saw behind the mask Leo hadn't even known she had been wearing for the past months. He saw the sadness in the grey orbs, and the despair and tiredness.
"Good," she said, voice slightly hoarse. "Because I don't know how much longer I'll last."
Leo saw the look of someone who was just about to give up.
"Annabeth-"
"Do you know how long it took for Percy and I to finally become a couple?" She asked abruptly.
Leo shook his head, looking down at her hands which were squeezing each of her fingers in turn nervously.
"4 years."
"Wow," Leo said, because he had been expecting a much smaller number. A couple of months, maybe a year. From the look of things he had guessed that Percy and Annabeth must have been dating for a long time to become so attached to one another. And if they had only met at 12 (Clarisse told him) and it had taken 4 years for them to get together... gods that wasn't even a year ago.
She nodded. "I had a crush on him since we met but it didn't really turn into anything until the 3rd year. We were best friends from the beginning though, even though we had our fights. I was one of the only people he talked to at Camp at first and despite everything I did that stupid son of Poseidon would just keep on coming back to me with questions even though I was supposed to be his enemy."
Leo raised an eyebrow. "His... enemy?"
Annabeth looked at him again as if realizing he was there, and then Leo realized she had been talking to herself as much as she had been talking to him. "Yeah. 'Cause of our parents? I'm a daughter of Athena, he's a son of Poseidon."
"Oh, right." Leo nodded even though he had no idea what the heck she was talking about and he idly wondered how their godly parents fel about them dating.
Oh gods... Leo would have loved to see the 'meet the parents' moment between Percy and Athena. Even if, for some reason, she wouldn't like a son of Poseidon Leo figured meeting Athena would be scary even without that.
"And then we went on so many quests and saved each other's lives a couple of times. And when we saw the Sirens..." Annabeth trailed off and Leo realized that she probably wouldn't tell him about that particular adventure.
He would have to ask Piper what Sirens were later. All he coule think of were those flashing lights and the wailing noise that came from a police car or a fire truck.
When Leo looked at Annabeth again he realized she was shaking from suppressed sobs and it was then he knew he was way out of his depth with this. He wasn't good with girls at the best of times, and now he was supposed to comfort a love-sick scary teenage girl who was older than him and knew how to kill with one swipe of that seriously wicked blade of hers?
It was almost as impossible as the pancake flipping.
It was hard, to watch the strongest person Leo knew fall to pieces before his very eyes. It was harder still trying to come up with something to say to her. All he could do was watch; because he knew no matter how much he tried, Leo would never be able to know what she was feeling right now. He would never be able to understand.
And the one person who could help her was the person they were crossing the country in a flying Greek war trireme for. Not exactly the on-the-spot solution Leo was looking for right now.
Leo blurted out his question before thinking. "What's it like, missing him?"
It wasn't until later that he realized he probably wouldn't want to know the answer.
Annabeth looked up at him past her tears and met his eyes. Her hands shook slightly in her lap, he noticed. "When I miss Percy...it's weird... my body doesn't function normally..as it should. Because I miss him, my heart...it's not steady...and my soul... it's almost numb."
Leo stared at her wide eyed while on the inside he was a little more than slightly freaked out. This was something he was pretty sure wasn't normal, even for demigod standards.
And yet, Leo didn't think Annabeth was crazy. He didn't think of her as weird, or emotionally unstable or anything like that.
He just thought that she was very, very sad.
She looked up and when Leo looked into her eyes he saw so much anger, weariness and most of all a total crushing pain, that he had to look away. When she spoke her voice was hoarse and cracking, making Leo wince. "I don't know what people usually feel when they miss someone, but Leo this is killing me. And it's not normal, and I know that, it's just..."
"You can't live without him," Leo realized, not noticing he said the words out loud as he did so, until he saw the look on Annabeth's face.
Pure hopelessness.
She saw him looking and shook her head and looked down. "I don't know, Leo. I need him, like some sort of drug. It's wrong, and probably mentally unstable but I can't help it. The more time away from him... the more I break. "
He didn't know why he said it, and damn his ADHD for letting his mouth let the words out but he spoke before he could stop himself. "They say when you miss someone that they probably feel the same."
He realized when the words were out that they were probably the worst thing he could have said considering the person Annabeth was missing was at a camp full of Romans, probably had his hands full with some sort of problem and more than likely had a wiped memory.
But, if Annabeth was any indication, Leo just didn't know how 2 people who felt so strongly about one another could forget all of that.
Annabeth stared at him and he saw something like hope flicker in her eyes before it was quickly diminished. "Usually I would believe you Leo, but I don't think it's possible for Percy to miss me as much as I'm missing him right now."
It was then, and truly then, that Leo realized in full how deeply Annabeth was hurting over this. How much this had really shaken her, how badly she was shattered. It was now, and only now, that Leo understood that sometimes not knowing about a person could be worse than just knowing they were dead. At least you knew they could have peace after they died. All Annabeth knew was that Romans were harsher than Greeks. For all any of them knew Percy Jackson could have been being tortured right now.
Leo wisely kept his ADHD mout shut this time though, trying not to make this almost hopeless situation even worse than it already was.
"And you know what I regret most?" She asked him.
He shook his head. "What?"
"Every day he would call me and we would talk. And sometimes I would be in Mount Olympus redesigning everything," Leo's mouth opened at that, once again he was doing an impersonation of a fish, but Annabeth didn't notice. She just stared at the picture like she wanted to sink right in to it. "Percy would ask me to take a break, go with him to hang out, get a coffee, or to finally visit his mom and step-dad, Paul. But I always said no." Annabeth looked down, as if ashamed, and Leo could almost see guilt and self-loathing work it's way through her. "I always said I was too busy, or that I just wanted to work. And guess what Percy did?" She carried on, not giving him a chance to respond. "He would always laugh at me, or squeeze my hand and kiss me. He would tell me he understood and leave me alone to do whatever it was I was doing. And later, when I asked him if he was angry he would always just say he wouldn't love me if I wasn't anything except myself and then we would leave the subject alone. But I would keep saying no even though he never stopped asking." She looked up to meet his eyes. "And I hate myself now, Leo, for all those times I said no. All those times I could have spent with him and I worked on drawing statues and mapping temples? What kind of girlfriend am I?"
Leo stared at her, trying to come up with a response. "You said Percy knew you for 4 years before you got together?"
Annabeth's eyes filled with confusion and Leo was glad to see the regret leave them, for at least a little bit. She nodded at him.
"Well then he knew what you were like and he fell in love with you anyway. He wouldn't have lied to you, and if he said he wouldn't love you any other way then he wouldn't. Don't beat yourself up over it, everyone's a crappy boyfriend or girlfriend at times. And if you really feel so bad you can make sure you never leave his side again once we pick him up with the rest of the Seven."
Annabeth stared at him and Leo saw her working through his words.
And then she smiled at him.
It was a watery smile, and shaky. And it wasn't big, barely a twitch of her lips, and yet Leo felt so relieved when he saw it he almost wanted to cry. Because he just couldn't stand Annabeth when she was this sad for much longer.
"Thanks, Leo."
"So are you going to come to breakfast?" He asked her again, wondering whether Jason and Piper were worried about what was taking them so long.
She shook her head and looked back at the picture, and once again her eyes filled with that hopelessness. "Not today. I guess I'm too tired."
Leo nodded. "Alright then."
Annabeth smiled again, but this one was even weaker than before.
Leo looked at her for a while before speaking. "Try and get some rest Annabeth. I'll wake you if anything happens." He told her quietly before squeezing her hand gently and heading out of the room.
He made a promise to himself then and there as he closed Annabeth's door behind him.
No matter what it took, he was going to get Percy Jackson back to her. Even if it meant burning the Roman Camp to find him or forsaking countless Roman girls.
Because nothing would be worth more to Leo than to see Annabeth and Percy together again. Absolutely nothing.
When he entered the kitchen it was to the sight of Piper shoving a waffle in Jason's face and the sound of them both laughing. The moment both of them saw his face however Piper dropped her hand, still holding the waffle, and both stared at him.
"Leo? What's wrong?" Jason's voice was concerned but Leo couldn't help but feel like he heard it from far away.
"Where's-" Piper started to say but Leo cut her off.
"Annabeth isn't coming to breakfast," was all he said before grabbing a plate of bacon and heading upstairs to the control room.
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"I like to see people reunited. Maybe that's a silly thing, but what can I say, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone."- Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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And there, my fellow fanfictioners, is another mildly depressing story from the depths of my mind. I'm so sad that HoH isn't here yet and I'm slipping back into my PJO and HOO depressed state.
If you have a solution, please tell me. And if you happen to come across the book House of Hades before October 8th then please send it to me.
Now, my lovely people, I am going to camp on Sunday. For 5 days I will be cut off from technology, WIFI! :'(:'( and FanFiction. So don't expect anything new for a week or so.
I freaking love the Annabeth/Leo brother/sister thing they have and Rick is one of my favourite people in the world for it. So here's my story of Leo helping Annabeth out a little.
Review? Please?
Love you all!
Percyjacksonfan3