Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, however much I would like to. But that's all of us, isn't it? :)
Author's Note: I've always found Ron to be a rather unappreciated character ... he is always shunted off to the side while Harry occupies the main spot-light ... this is what I thought his reasons for leaving Harry and Hermione might have been.
Sidekick
He sits at the window, in the living room of his brother's house
He sits at the window, in the living room of his brother's house. His eyes sweep the frozen landscape unseeingly – the beauty of the icicle-encrusted trees is lost on him. He does not see the sun's glare on the snow, or the restless ocean waves crashing onto the barren beach. His eyes are fixed on a face swimming in front of him, the black hair flopping untidily over a scarred forehead, the green eyes narrowed accusingly.
He does not hear his brother enter, does not feel the worried gaze that is directed his way. Unknowingly, he slips his fingers into his pocket and draws out his Put-Outer. His fingers tighten around it, and bitter tears fill his blue eyes. He bows his red head and allows the guilt to wash over him.
Being friends with the Boy Who Lived has its ups and downs. He knows this, knew it perhaps from the moment Harry confirmed his identity, that day on the Hogwarts Express. Being friends with Harry Potter means life is never boring, that an adventure is always lurking on the horizon. But it also means that he has no individuality. He is not recognized as Ronald Weasley, but as Harry Potter's best friend – his sidekick. When he is with Harry, he is not noticed, and when Harry is not around, he is bombarded with continuous questions about the Chosen One's life. Never about him. He is always in the shadow.
He knows his thoughts are unfair – he knows Harry does not ask for the attention he gets, but he is tired of being ignored. His whole life has been spent being ignored – he is the youngest of five brothers, with nothing special to mark him apart, to make him visible.
He resents Harry for the attention people so easily give him, and guilt gnaws his heart because he knows Harry loves him like a brother, and he knows the feeling is mutual.
Love-resentment-guilt-anger … it is a cycle of feelings he has felt countless time … a particularly vivid memory of their fourth year springs, unbidden, into his mind, when he didn't speak to Harry for weeks, because Harry had been named Hogwarts champion.
Shame colors his cheeks as he remembers that, too, was not Harry's fault … He throws down the Put-Outer and watches as it bounces on the carpet, once, twice, before finally coming to rest.
'Saint Potter,' he muses, and smiles bitterly, ignoring the tumult of emotion slowly eating away his heart.
Deep down he knows he is wrong, yet again, and that he has proved himself a coward, by running away, by leaving him. He wishes he hadn't run. He cannot bear the sorrowful look on Fleur's face, the disappointment in Bill's eyes, the knowledge that the rest of the family believes he is out there, risking life and limb at the Chosen One's side …
He glances around at the room. He does not belong here. He belongs -
He smiles slowly, his damp eyes brightening. He stoops and picks up the Put-Outer from where it lays at his feet, turns and gazes out of the window, the smile still playing around the edges of his mouth. The face on the glass lights up, the green eyes warming.
He belongs with Harry, wherever he might be, watching his back, helping him with his latest suicidal plan. Because Harry needs him … and he can't do without him. He is, after all Ronald Weasley, sidekick.
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