Star Wars: Rebels:
Parts of a Whole (Working Title)
Author's Note:
Disclaimer:
Star Wars: Rebels:
Parts of a Whole (Working Title)
The countryside of Lothal was bathed in heavy rays of sunlight spilling through cracks in the clouds, giving the world before Ezra Bridger an ethereal feeling. Sitting on the side of a small hill observing the scene, Ezra was taking in the chance to relax while he could. He had been through quite a bit lately, more than he ever had to deal with when he was on his own. However, his actions weren't just his own now. For the first time in years, Ezra had people could rely on.
Friends.
The word itself still made him shake from emotion. Ezra couldn't remember the last time before he met Kanan and the others that he had people close to him. People he could rely on. They all meant the world to him and he had vowed to himself just a few months prior that he would protect them at all costs.
There was one problem, however: the Dark Side of the Force.
He gave a sigh of exhaustion. The past number of months had been draining on everyone, not just himself. Following Ezra's opening up to the Dark Side a few months prior, he had been left with a perpetual and never-ending feeling of immense cold that would come and go, ease down and act back up again.
It was always there, lingering at the back of his mind. It made it hard to sleep sometimes. Especially when the nightmares came.
Ezra wasn't one to dwell on the past, however, and he sat atop this lonely hill in an attempt to soak in the beauty of Lothal's countryside. The scene warmed the immense cold in his heart just a little bit. It wasn't as if he hadn't been feeling better. His immense dedication to his path as an aspiring Jedi gave him purpose aside from the crew's regular anti-Imperial acts. Kanan's trust in him also helped. A few months before, Ezra had taken part in a sort of "Jedi trial" at an abandoned Jedi temple on Lothal. It had been grueling, scary, and he had been forced to face numerous hidden fears, but the young Jedi eventually emerged victorious over his own shortcomings.
Early in the day, Ezra had finally completed construction on his own lightsaber. Finally! The eternal symbol of the Jedi Order was in his grasp! Literally. The teenager held his saber in front of his face, still marveling that he had been able to complete it. It hadn't been a difficult process with Kanan's help, but finding all of the necessary parts was the problem. Finding them all hadn't been easy and he had wanted to make sure that he only got the best he could for his saber. They were important, weren't they? The parts make up the whole…
Everything that went into Ezra's lightsaber was important in some fashion. Each and every individual ingredient came from someone he cared about. This and that from Hera, maybe one of these from Zeb, one of those thingies from Chopper…It made him smile. His lightsaber. His lightsaber, the symbol of his status as a Jedi and his growth as a person, was only completed from parts given to him by his friends. They were the only reason he could finish it in the first place! Every time he grasped the handle, he would think of them and their support.
Ezra sat with his legs crossed, arms resting upon them and lightsaber held loosely in his right hand as he stared at the scenery. A gentle breeze played at his bangs and he sighed. He had expected having his own lightsaber to bring about a giddiness that would never leave him, but, strangely enough, the allure almost wore off quickly. It was an honor, definitely, and he had certainly played around with the saber when Kanan's back was turned at first, but he had almost lost his giddiness after playing with it for a while. At the moment, he felt several times his age and his own at the same time. It was weird.
He had let Sabine look at his lightsaber earlier in the day, which he was more than happy to do, but she had things to do and was busy. She had been showing a keen interest in the unconventional blade ever since its grand reveal and he had been secretly eager to show it to her. Sabine would faun over it, remark on its uniqueness, beg him to look at it and he would pretend to try to put her off, he would let her, and she would offer him a compliment: that he had actually done a pretty good job building it. Still, however, this was a mere daydream. She had been busy all day. So, here he sat with her on his mind…again…as he fiddled with the laser sword in his palm. It was a nervous habit that never went away and, unfortunately, he got anxious when thinking about Sabine.
"What are you doing all the way out here?" a voice burst forth from in front of the boy.
Startled, Ezra jumped and dropped the saber on the ground only for it to be picked up a lithe, feminine hand.
"Looking for this?" asked the teenage Mandalorian rebel herself. Sabine Wren's face held a sly smirk as she dangled the handmade weapon in front of the Jedi-in-training's face.
The look on Ezra's face was priceless: a mix of shock and embarrassment as he fell backwards onto the soft grass. His Mandalorian companion erupted in a fit of laughing and giggles as she watched the still-awkward teenager attempt to get up as quickly as he fell, replace the look of surprise with one of suaveness, and lay down as if he had never been affected at all.
"Hey, Sabine," Ezra's voice came out slower than usual, slightly deeper, and more masculine as he attempted to slow his now racing heart. He gave her a slightly cheeky smirk as he lay upon the grass, attempting to cover his awkward fall and rapidly heating face.
All he managed to illicit from the girl in front of him was mere giggles and laughter.
Ezra's expression changed immediately as his brows sagged downwards and a frown plastered itself upon his lip. "Hey," he started, sounding annoyed. "You don't have to laugh at me, y'know."
Even though his face conveyed aggravation, the sound of his artistic companion's laughter was melodious to his ears and he fought to keep the blush that was undoubtedly spreading across his entire head from going even further.
"Geez. Soooorry, kid," the Mandalorian teased. "I never knew Jedi could be sneaked up on so easily." She decided to push her luck a bit. After all, what could Ezra do?
Ezra coughed, fighting the red tide washing across his face as he attempted conversation. "So, uh, what're you doing all the way out here? We're pretty far away from the Ghost."
"What?" she asked, shrugging, sly smile still spread across her features. "Can't a girl go out for a walk?"
Something told Ezra that it was more likely that Sabine just came out to find and bother him.
Not that Ezra minded much.
"Well," Ezra started, stretching. "I suppose so." The raven-haired teenager patted the ground next to him, looking up at the Mandalorian in front of him expectantly. "Come on, Sabine. You know you want to," he added cheekily.
The girl rolled her eyes, hiding a small smile as she slunk onto the ground next to him. "I really do like it here. When I sit on this hill, everything just seems so…" Sabine's gaze travelled from grass to shrub, from tree to dirt and finally up to the sky above them, the red and orange streaks of magnificence reflecting in her beautiful eyes. "Peaceful," she finally added. A tenderness touched her final word, perhaps more gentle than she had meant to convey.
Ezra kicked his feet up and down across the soft grass, focusing on them for a moment and thinking of how to reply.
"When I come here, it's like I can just forget about all of the troubles, the Empire…all of it." Sabine laughed. "Enough of my yacking. What are you doing out here?"
The question took him aback for some reason, but the answer came easily. "Pretty much the same as you." He chanced a glance at her. She had a soft smile spreading across her face and Ezra had to stop a larger one from forming on his.
What Ezra didn't tell her was that he had been cold again. Intense chills had arced through his body and the scene before him had been helping. He had found the spot while training one day and it struck a chord with him. So much so, he had been coming back every so often, especially when the chills came back.
While Sabine had known about the cold for a while and tried to get him to tell her when it was hitting him, even in the middle of the night if need be, he hardly did. Ezra felt like such a burden on her when she had comforted him and he also hated admitting this weakness to himself.
He guessed he still had things to work on.
Sabine's eyes searched his face, looking for an answer, and she gave an overly dramatic sigh. "You're cold again, aren't you?"
"Huh? What're you talking about, Sabine? I just wanted a little peace and quiet," the inexperienced male tried.
"Mmhmm," is all that came out of the other rebel's mouth. She knew better, but, if he didn't want to open up about it right now, she wouldn't pressure him. It wouldn't do any good anyway. He was too stubborn.
Ezra coughed. "So, huh, what were you working on earlier?" The conversation suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable.
"New explosives," Sabine said half-heartedly.
Why wouldn't Ezra just stop having such an ego about his problems and open up a little bit?
"Oh, really? What are you whipping up now?"
Sabine almost laughed for a moment. "I'll show you later. You have to see it to believe it." Her eyes travelled to her right for a moment only to see Ezra's eyes mock-pleading her for information, trying to relieve any tension between them. The Mandalorian couldn't help laughing. "Get away and stop being creepy, Ezra!"
He fell with a small thud, laughing. "Who's being creepy? Don't you remember? Who was the one who walked out all this way just to come find me?" he asked this jokingly, not thinking that she really had come out just to find him. It was too late to take it back, though.
Turning away as quickly as the question had been finished, Sabine's face glowed slightly red as she muttered, "I'll show you creepy, Ezra Bridger."
They sat there for a moment, soaking in each other's presence as the setting sun warmed them with its soothing and gentle rays. Both the artsy rebel and the aspiring Jedi held small smiles across their faces, eyes shining with a sense of life that hadn't been there before their meeting. Ezra closed his eyes as the light from the sun and very presence from his companion warmed him. Lifting his eyes lazily, he noticed that Sabine had chanced a glance at him.
"Staring at my lightsaber again, Sabine?" the youth asked.
The Mandalorian's face contorted with confusion as heat rose around her head. "Huh?"
Of course, Ezra hadn't realized how it could be taken. That was good. It was also good he didn't know she was looking at his face. If he found out…
He would never let her live it down and he would stroll around the ship bragging to himself with a false sense of bravado and masculinity.
Fighting the blush, she played it cool. "Why would I look at your lightsaber, Ezra?
Ezra leaned backwards against the tree behind them, a cocky smile on his face. "I don't know. Maybe because you've been looking at it all day? Ever since I finished it?"
The air between them was light and playful and it actually took effort for Sabine to not laugh. Seeing the look of interest in his companion's eyes, Ezra gave out a sigh.
He looked up at her, walls of emotional defense down for a moment or two. "W-would you wanna…Well, you can look at it…i-if you want to."
Sabine's eyes lit up.
The lightsaber now held in Sabine Wren's hands was currently being turned over, examined, analyzed, contemplated upon, appreciated, and turned on and off purely out of an intense fascination. Every inch of the metallic surface was poured over by a powerful gaze emanating out of Sabine's deep brown eyes, her brows furrowing in focus. Every now and then, Sabine would mutter a "Hmm" or a "Wow, so that's how that works" or even an "…Interesting." These small comments would be broken periodically by Sabine asking Ezra a question while Ezra sat there, at times grinning cockily at her intense interest and other times sitting shyly beside her.
"Sabine," Ezra said after a short while, interrupting the Mandalorian's focus. He rested his head upon his hand. "I let you look at my lightsaber before. How interesting can it still be now?"
The girl before him suddenly tore her face away from the saber, shooting him a glare. If looks could kill… "Yeah, but that was before you even finished it, Ezra. Now that it's done, I can finally figure out how it works for myself!" her eyes gleamed in a bright and almost crazy fashion now.
After a moment, what Sabine said sunk in and Ezra just let her be. She was like a kid in one those industrial sized candy stores on Coruscant. Ezra had heard about them before from some of the rich kids of travelling businessmen and politicians that had stopped on Lothal. Suddenly, he felt sick and bitterness spread through the pit of his stomach. Shoving it away as quickly as the thought of those rich kids came, he took a moment to notice what was in front of him.
Sabine Wren was peering down at the lightsaber held gently, but somehow roughly, in her hands. Her eyes shone brightly, brows scrunched in focus as she quietly bit her lip, something she had a habit of doing. It wasn't that Ezra was a creep! Not at all! Sabine herself admitted that she should stop making such a habit out of the act herself. Ezra didn't…pay attention to her that closely.
Sabine must have sensed his gaze because, before Ezra had the time to react, she turned around. Her gaze met his. Ezra's eyes were possibly the most intense blue she had ever seen before. Why hadn't she noticed before? And it was the same for Ezra. Sabine's brown eyes reflected something he had never properly noticed before. What was it?
What was it?
Ezra's mouth turned dry as he sat there, frozen in a moment, feeling as if he were swaying on the spot. He almost felt like he could hear his own heart beat in his ears.
What was that?
It was different than that. The heat continued to rise on his face as Sabine held his gaze. It had either been a long gaze or time had slowed to a crawl, Ezra was sure of that, but…
What was that?
It was more than a beating in his ears. That was his heartbeat just like it was every other time he was even anywhere this close to Sabine. A faint whisper, a faint whistle came to the edge of his consciousness…
Someone was trying to reach him.
The Force was trying to tell him something.
He could feel it.
He could feel it…
Something…
Wrong.
The air around Ezra seemed to snap as he felt himself grow woozy, a headache forming and a dull droning in his ears. His forearms and back began to grow cold.
Ezra leaned back against the tree as quickly as the spell hit, breathing deeply and rapidly before slowing as he attempted to calm himself. The Mandalorian opposite of him rushed over, grabbing his arm.
"Ezra?! Are you alright? What's wrong?!" she choked out, attempting to calm herself.
"I-I j-just…Give me a sec…" Ezra forced out between gasps. Several seconds passed. Sabine's eyes searched his face for signs of the problem. The young Jedi was shaking slightly.
Ezra's female companion sat there, looking down and muttering to herself in worry even after she had calmed herself. Her hands lightly fell at her sides as her hair covered her face. Very gently and slowly, she brought her hand up to Ezra's arm, letting it rest upon the forearm.
The panting slowed at a sharp intake of breath could be heard. Blue eyes rose up, wide, to meet nervous, but cocky ones.
Her smile was sly, but her eyes were warm. "Hey," she started softly. "Don't get the wrong idea, kid."
She never removed her hand. After a moment, Sabine asked again. "Are you all right?"
A cocky smile rose up to meet her, exhaustion in his eyes. "Of course, Sabine. You don't have to worry about me." His smile was normal, but the look in his eyes…he couldn't hide it even if he tried.
She just looked at him. "You're the worst liar…" After a moment, she tried again. "You're cold again, aren't you?"
"No fooling you, huh, Sabine?" Ezra tried, a genuine smile shirking up.
They sat there for a few minutes, no words spoken. Sabine fiddled with a blade of grass beside her foot. Ezra watched the sun inch on the horizon, red and golden rays bathing the two as they struggled for words to say.
What could be said?
Ezra would never beg Sabine for help with this. She had enough problems she had to put up with anyway…He would never ask her for a hug. Never mention the possibility of a heartfelt conversation. Never…
Tell her how he felt.
He wouldn't burden her more than she already was. Besides, what if she never felt the same? What if he ruined their friendship? What if he screwed up so badly that he lost one of the people that changed his life?
What if he lost her?
Tears crept into the corners of Ezra's eyes at the thought of what may happen. He would live. He had lived alone for years. He could keep it up, but…
What kind of life would that be?
"I never thanked you, you know," he said in a matter-of-fact voice
The Mandalorian artist's gaze came up to meet his face. "What?"
"I never thanked you for the parts you gave me for my lightsaber." Almost to prove a point, he grabbed it off the grass and held it fondly as the light from the setting sun gently reflected off of its smooth metallic surface. "The parts make up the whole, you know."
Sabine's face was blank, eyes wide with surprise as no words came. After a moment, she finally found words. "Kid…Ezra, you don't have to thank me for a couple of parts I had lyin' around," she tried, playing it off with a few chuckles.
Ezra's head was down, his gaze directed to the sword held in his hands. He brought up back up after a few seconds, a small genuine smile on his lips. He laughed. "Well, for a 'couple of parts' you had 'lyin' around,' I still appreciate it." He laughed again. "It's funny, actually, how my lightsaber was built."
Had Sabine missed something? She inched closer hesitantly. Now wasn't the time to let her fascination get the better of her. Ezra had just had a cold fit again! Her place was…right by his side, her mind just realized: she should be holding him, getting him some food and drinks if he wanted them, hugging him…
Holding his hand.
"Where did that come from?" she tried to think to herself, like she didn't already know.
Ezra didn't notice the blush rapidly spreading across Sabine's face, still looking at the lightsaber. "I was only able to build it because everybody chipped in. A little of this from Kanan, maybe a few of those from Hera…"
"And nobody minded, kid. Is there a point to this?" the Mandalorian tried to ask, pushing the thoughts of holding Ezra's hand out of her mind.
"Yeah, actually," he said, patting the grass next to him.
The look on Sabine's face came instantly. Shock and red heat were apparent all over her face. Ezra must not have noticed because he just patted the ground again. The look was cute, though.
Since when had she moved further away from him?
She inched over to him and sat by his side rather awkwardly. "What the heck's wrong, Sabine? Not awed by my awesome Jedi presence are you?" he asked cockily, jokingly.
The artist smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood.
"You wish, kid," she said, smiling and punching him in the arm.
"Ouch." Ezra's face was a plain look of pure fake hurt and sadness, his eyes resembling that of the residents of a pet store in one of the shopping complexes on Coruscant. "You don't mean that, do you, Sabine?"
They just laughed.
That was how they spent the next half-hour. Ezra would tell her about a particular part in his lightsaber, going over every detail and explaining how it worked and who gave it to him. Many of the parts were from Sabine herself and hearing Ezra actually talk about how much it meant to him made her blush a little bit more. Every so often, he would crack a ridiculous joke, usually about how cool he was, and Sabine would lightly punch him in the arm.
"Ezra?" Sabine asked when she had a free moment in Ezra's explanations.
He tore his eyes from the laser sword. "Yeah, Sabine?"
"What did you mean earlier about the way your lightsaber was built? What's so funny about it?"
Ezra took a moment to answer, thinking on how to reply. "Well, I guess 'cause it took everyone to put it together in the first place." He leaned back against the tree. "Does that make sense? I mean, I wouldn't have had all the parts if you guys didn't chip in so…"
He smiled toothily. "Every time I look at my lightsaber, I think about you guys…"
"Every time I look at my lightsaber, I think of you guys…" it replayed in Sabine's mind.
Joy and pride flooded her system.
Ezra breathed in sharply, as if preparing for something big. "I think it's funny that you guys, the people that made me see just how big the galaxy is…" A light blush coated his face around his sheepish expression. "The people that showed me just how selfish I had been before are the people that helped me complete my saber, the symbol…the proof that I'm a Jedi. It's almost like it proves just how much I've changed thanks to you guys." He smiled nervously. "Thank you."
A light gust of wind rushed past them, bringing a slight chill to them and snapping them out of their moment of honesty. Because of this, they realized just how late it had managed to get. The sun had already set and the moon was hanging delicately in the sky.
"Wow. Weird how late it is, huh? I never even noticed!" Ezra said, switching gears entirely and standing up. "I've gotta get up pretty early for training. Kanan told me that tomorrow's is going to be pretty fun for once." Upon seeing a unintelligible look on Sabine's face, he added, "Hard to believe, huh?"
Sabine stood up as well and, dusting grass off herself replied, "Yeah. I guess so…"
She still had that weird look on her face.
"Sabine?"
The next thing Ezra knew, Sabine had quickly closed the distance between them and he felt a light, sweet kiss brush onto his cheek. If he didn't know it was happening, he probably wouldn't have even been able to feel it…
"G-gah?" was all he could choke out, red rapidly rushing across his face.
Sabine backed away just as quickly as she had approached him, her loose bangs obscuring part of her face from the quick approach and retreat. What she had to say next confused him even more.
"Don't look too into it, kid."
It was late at night when Kanan heard footsteps lightly echoing down the hallway of the Ghost. There were two. Even before he heard them, he had been able to sense the presences of Ezra and Sabine. They were treading quietly and the muffled sound of soft voices could be heard. The Jedi sat down his midnight snack beside his glass of water, catching bits of the conversation.
"Sorry I kept you up so late," a voice that was clearly Sabine's could be heard.
Ezra's came next. "Nah, don't worry about it. I should have realized how late it was in the first place."
The sound of Sabine shuffling in place could be heard. "I hope you aren't too tired tomorrow. You have your training…"
"Yeah, well, I'll just have to work extra hard the, right? When I'm about and about doing Jedi things, I won't always have the most amount of sleep to run on."
It was an attempt to comfort her.
Sabine's emotions sharply shifted, sending a signal through the Force. After a brief silence, she replied. "…I guess so. Well, Ezra, if you do get hungry or thirsty or tired tomorrow, I guess I'll have to take care of you since it's my fault you were up so late in the first place." As if she knew how it sounded, she hastily added more. "I mean, I'm sure you would whine to me about it tomorrow anyway and I'd have to take care of you regardless."
It was an attempt to cover it all up, her feelings and hopes.
Both of the teenagers were unaware that their feelings sent echoes through the Force, strong and warm. Kanan could feel Ezra twinge slightly in delight and Sabine shuffle restlessly again in an effort to stave off both her growing feelings and thoughts.
"Well, kid…Good night," the Mandalorian girl's voice came out soft.
A brief pause occurred. "Yeah…Night," Ezra replied, voice stifling strong emotion and joy.
The footsteps disappeared as Sabine retired to her room to sleep. Ezra's followed.
Kanan sighed, grinning slightly in spite of himself. He remembered the days of confusing teenage emotions.