CHAPTER 1

They say that death causes you to reevaluate your life – rethink your life choices; paths you've taken…..

From the moment she built her first super computer at the age of 7 she knew she was different for a reason. She was destined for something more than a small apartment in Vegas and serving cocktails to raunchy rich men in a tight little skirt.

The plan was clear – she would become successful and so rich that her mom never would have to work another day in her life. She knew the sacrifices her mom was making to keep a roof over their head and food on the table, but she deserved better….her mom deserved better than the life her father subjected them to after he abandoned them.

The execution to the end of that plan was a whole other ball game though, but she knew if she wanted to make something of herself and finally get them out of Vegas, she had to work extra hard to make it happen.

And she did - her goals were set out and even though her mom couldn't afford to send her to the schools she wanted to go to, Felicity made it happen on her own.

Her grades were so immaculate that MIT offered her a full scholarship. She repaid them by being the youngest woman to ever graduate cum laude in her Security and Computer Sciences field.

She was well on her way to greatness, to the success she always wanted.

She took a step of faith and applied for an entry level IT job at the company which was home to one of the world's best Applied Sciences Divisions – Queen Consolidated.

She moved to Starling City after graduation without thinking twice. This was another goal and just like everything else she would prove her worth and hopefully climb the ladder in the company until she was where the finally wanted to be – Head of Applied Sciences.

She worked hard and even through all the frustration she started to climb the ladder. It was slower than she expected, but she kept her eyes on the prize and now….now she is where she always wanted to be "Miss Felicity Meghan Head of Applied Sciences Smoak".

She gently leans her body against the window pane looking down at the hustle and bustle of people and traffic. People running around – another meeting to attend, another goal to reach – they are all her, but right now they are completely unaware of the war raging inside of her.

Her mother always used to say that Felicity needed to get a hobby, to have fun with all the work, but she only really experienced and realised the weight of the words 'life is lonely at the top' when she finally reached the goal and had no one except her mother to share in the joy.

Her colleagues are great and her assistant Jerry has always been very protective of her, but she can honestly say that no one in her life really knows Felicity Smoak.

No one knows when she's happy or sad or even….scared.

"Miss Smoak, thank you for coming in on such short notice." Dr. McPherson shakes her hand opening the door for her to enter.

"No problem at all Doctor. I would much rather get this over with as soon as possible so I can get back to work." she smiles at the good looking doctor and takes a seat on the opposite side of Dr. McPherson's desk. He was definitely some eye candy, but that's all he is, something good to look at. She couldn't afford any distractions with this multi-billion dollar project in collaboration with Kord Industries.

"I can imagine that it must be a bit of a frustration to wait for a medical 'all clear' when you're the head of that specific department, but I can assure you that we didn't drag this out unnecessarily."

Felicity nods and tries to keep her smile in place.

Having not been allowed to work on this project which could possibly be the biggest one of her life, because she had been sick turned out to be very frustrating to say the least. According to company regulations she would not be allowed to work in the Lab or on the new project before she wasn't awarded a clean bill of health from a medical practitioner.

"Miss Smoak, as you know we did some extensive testing after the routine checkup couldn't determine what the cause of your discomfort was. We received the results of those tests yesterday and that is why I wanted to see you so quickly."

Felicity tries to keep a straight face. She did some research and most of the symptoms pointed to a bleeding ulcer, which wouldn't be surprising with the amount of stress she has. But she really hoped that the treatment wouldn't interfere with her work. She trusts Curtis Holt completely but she's a control freak and even though he has the skills to manage the project on his own, she wants to be there.

"Okay doc, let's have it. Give it to me."

As soon as the words leave her mouth she hears it and immediately ensues a babble.

"I mean not give it to me in any sexual way, not that I am thinking about sex right now, because I'm not, not right now though about you, not that you are not good looking, which you are, but this is not really that kind of conversation and….I'm just going to stop talking now."

She cringes when she sees that the young doctor is still quite serious and she might want to ask him to rather just euthenise her then and there – it will make the total humiliation bearable. What was the thinking?! It is a shame they haven't developed a cure for no brain to mouth filter.

"Right, Miss Smoak, the test results came back and I'm so sorry to tell you….you have Stage 4 Colon Cancer."

She can feel the blood flowing out of her head as her ears begin to ring and her body becomes numb. Total confusion scrambles the thoughts in her head and it feels like she's watching a scene out of the worst horror movie ever.

"I'm sorry Miss Smoak." Dr. McPherson says softly. "I realise this must be a huge shock for you and I want you to know that we are here to give you support."

Felicity finally looks at him and tries to put a sentence together.

"Stage 4? Are there any treatments? Can I be cured?"

"There are treatments available, but I'm afraid that it might not be successful since the cancer has already spread to other parts of your body. There is only a very small percentage of patients who survive this stage of the cancer."

She swallows the lump in her throat.

"How….how long?"

"Now, Miss Smoak, we cannot specu…."

She interrupts him mid-sentence. "How long Doctor?" she nearly shouts it out.

"In my experience, I would say you have 6 months to a year at the most."