-And he loves like heaven and hell (zadr) and it hurts and it heals and through agony i'm addicted-
still not mine folks
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Hearts to Bleed
And hell is nothing compared to this love.
Nothing compared to the shine and sneer of hot pink eyes. Watching, waiting for any slip up so he can break and punish and reminisce.
Nothing compared to the unwavering trust felt even as our blood flows so sincerely into the carpet.
Love hurts.
Love hates.
Love pulls me by my puppet-heartstrings even as in led on chain and collar like a dog.
No, hell doesn't compare to this.
Hell is a picnic, a stroll on a Sunday morning, a walk in the park - if I was just a little more cliché.
This love is an agony.
One that I bear every day he turns to me with 'love to hate' rivaling 'hate to love' in his actions.
But then...
Heaven is nothing compared to this love.
Nothing compared to the soft and passionate side he tries so valiantly to hide.
Nothing compared to his warm-heated-hothothot touch in the cold of the examination room.
Love heals.
Love grows.
Love tugs at my puppet-heartstrings and makes my heart sing notes of pure content.
No, Heaven doesn't compare to this.
Heaven is starvation, a drunken ex, an abusive father - if I wasn't used to worse fates.
And...
This love is a dream.
One I search for amongst the drips plugged into my arms, as the collar sits strong and outspoken in the dip of my throat.
One I find when 'I love you' and 'I need you' rival for place in those eerie hot pink eyes.
And he hurts me.
And he heals me.
And he hates me.
Though he loves me.
I would change so much of this love were I able, yet...
I hurt him.
I heal him.
I hate him.
Though I love him.
And I would fight through hell again and again, to taste the heaven on Zim's lips.
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