Author's note: I do not own anything from Gintama. Please review! A new story which I've been dreaming of for years. Angst and pain... so much pain...
Chapter 1: WAKE
If the sun is shining, then everything must be all right. If the wind blows a cool breeze, then the world must be in a better state. If the birds in the trees are chirping, then life must be worth living. If one can watch the sky with his best friends sprawled next to him, then the universe must be within a balance.
Despite those conditions, his world was crumbling.
He was terrified. At this point, there was nothing he could to to save himself... or even his friends. None of them have moved for a while. He hoped that they were taking their time, waiting for the coast to clear, before they reemerge from their slumber.
He shifted his eyes to the right. Kagura had her eyes closed but he could detect a slight rise and fall of her chest. She was alive, thank the heavens. Her left eye peeked at him and narrowed as if pleading that he would not give them away. He turned his attention to his left side where their silver-haired hero lay on his stomach, unmoving. Blood continued to pool beneath him, a result of the deep slash through the stomach by an Utsuro clone.
It wasn't even Utsuro himself. That would piss off Gin, without a doubt, that he would be gravely wounded by a disposable copy of his greatest enemy. An important man from his past did not even bother to take him down with his own hands.
There was no option to die here. Not now, because the end was supposed to be them saving Edo from this disaster. Nothing is over until the evil has been stopped.
It cannot be done without Gin-san. He must be alive. I can save him. I can save everyone - sis, Kagura, grandma Otose, everyone...
Near his foot was his sword. Shinpachi knew he dropped it there before falling to the ground himself. He only needed to move swiftly - to get up and grab the weapon - then eliminate all opponents within proximity. Then he and Kagura can take Gin and escape to safety for the time being.
Controlled by enough courage, moments and a few heartbeats later, he did just that. He yelled Kagura's name and just like she read his mind, they both went for the defense until no more of the enemy's soldiers were left. They were bathed in sweat, blood and sunshine. His face was wet with red and tears he was unable to hold back. Was there still any hope for them in this bloodbath country?
He could barely move as he watched Kagura wailing and turning over their friend's limp form on the grass. Blood flowed out of Gin's mouth and his shallow breaths were not encouraging. His eyes were unfocused, half-open and surrounded by large dark-bruises. They called his name but he would not see them, nor react to their cries.
Now, footsteps and battle cries were fast approaching. If they did not flee now, they would end up as corpses, mere casualties of this unnecessary war.
Kagura, with her strength, lifted Gin and they both escaped into the deeper end of the forest. Shinpachi ran with all his might, like his lungs would evaporate after this burst of panic. He pushed forward, blindly, with a prayer, that they would find refuge.
Give us something. Anything! Gin has to live! We all must survive this. Please. He had never said any prayer as desperate or as mighty as this.
His step slid on the terrain and he tumbled sideways, rolling far from the other two. He almost yelled for them but his instincts caught him. The enemies might find them if he screamed. But Kagura was smart and quick to come after him, dragging Gin along. All three of them landed on a stream with a powerful current.
It took them miles from their fall and they let it. There was no way they could counter the force. Gin was still unconscious and they took turns supporting his body. He was still breathing, at least. They only had to get him some treatment soon. The question was... Where?
"Shinpachi, look!" Kagura whispered harshly, pointing at a settlement partially hidden behind some trees. The miles they traveled had multiplied that he could no longer determine how far they were carried. It seemed like they had gone deeper into a mountainside. The stream had tamed its flow and they were able to grab onto a stable log to hoist themselves - and Gin - to land.
He felt so much at once, fatigue and hunger and exhaustion... and sorrow.
"Kagura... wait!" He failed to stop her before she went behind the trees and into the house behind it. He waited with baited breath for whoever would emerge from there. This was their last chance. This was Gin's only hope for now.
The door swung open and Kagura gasped, her face pale and eyes wide. Shinpachi did not see immediately but when the person from the house emerged, he knew that he had exhibited the same exact expression on his face.
It was Sacchan.
They all thought she had died years prior, at the beginning of the war. It wasn't only her. Five years ago, Katsura Kotarou was killed. Three years ago, Sacchan was assumed dead. Apparently, she wasn't.
"Kagura? Shinpachi?" She appeared equally surprised. "How did you find this place?"
"We just chanced upon it while trying to find a safe place." He told her quickly. "Sacchan, help us, it's Gin-san..." He took Gin to her doorstep. "He's dying."
She did not speak but her face crumpled as she looked at the man in front of her. She stepped forward to reach for Gin but like a burnt touch, she immediately pulled back her hand.
"We have to stop his wound from bleeding and we have to clean it." Shinpachi was practically begging on his knees. "Can we take him inside and help him, please."
Sacchan blinked rapidly and nodded.
They rushed inside and laid Gin on the floor while Sacchan took some of her clothing from a pile and started to heat some water under a small fire. She was shaking as she moved about, casting several worried glances at them every now and then. Kagura kept pressure on Gin's stomach wound. When the items were ready, they ripped off Gin's clothes and started to clean him. Sacchan kept her distance and it took Shinpachi one glance at her to notice that she was still in shock. He let her be for now. What was important was Gin's life.
They tore the clean clothes and bandaged his wound with them. It was deep but relatively uninfected for now. Gin had survived worse things. He hoped this would be one of them.
Exhausted, he lay back on the floor and thanked the heavens that they had found solace, even if temporary. Things must turn out well from now on. There is nothing left for us. He did not notice when he fell asleep until Sacchan had woken him, which seemed like hours - or a day - later.
"Eat," she urged him. She handed him a bowl of soup mixed with herbs. There were also very small and thin slices of boiled meat on a plate. Everything was bland but in this situation, there was no point being picky.
Kagura was also munching on meat strips at the other end of the room. She also appeared to be recently roused from a deep sleep. Her eyes were puffy and red. She was silent.
Gin was still motionless beside him. Breathing, at least, but unconscious still. His face was pale and the make-do bandages had soaked. Shinpachi looked up to see Sacchan handing him more strips of cloth. She had cut up more of her clothes for the wound. After he took them, she moved away like she did not want to see Gin or his wounds. She had busied herself with the pot of boiling water.
Both he and Kagura cleaned added more pressure around Gin's wound with the hot water and dressings that Sacchan prepared. Afterwards, they went back to sleep.
Time passed as quick or slow as they could only guess. Gin remained asleep but at least his intake of breaths were more even now. The dressings soaked less but still had to be changed after a few hours. Sacchan would wash the bloodied strips in the stream and then dip them in boiling water after to cleanse. She, however, would not come near Gin's sleeping form.
Shinpachi was sure that both him and Kagura had a million questions for her. They were waiting for the right moment to get her to talk.
Gin dreamt once, alerting all of them to his jerks. He murmured things from his past including a name, Zura. It made Sacchan pale and she ran outside to vomit behind the trees. She did not return until the next day.
Shinpachi hated the hunger that he felt. There was nothing to eat but plants and meat from small animals. There wasn't even much. He wondered how Sacchan had survived here for so long. Had she been here all this time? What did she do here? It was a place in the middle of nowhere. He wondered if there were wild animals in the surroundings. Did she even have contact with other people anymore? Her house contained practically nothing but the basics. How could she procure items for her daily use? What about clothing? She had cut up so much of them for dressing Gin's wounds that it made him wonder if she had any left.
She also seemed averse with Gin, even with him unconscious. Their parting prior to her "death" remained a bad memory for everyone. Everybody knew that Gin had not forgiven her for that incident where she practically led Katsura to his death, due to her selfishness. She was desperate for Gin's attention and her careless actions resulted to Zura as collateral damage. The aftermath, as expected, wasn't pretty and two years after, Sacchan supposedly went on a "suicide mission". When she failed to return, people assumed she was dead.
Gintoki simply muttered a good riddance and never spoke of her or Katsura again.
The war had taken most of their thoughts and days anyway. There was no more time to mourn any old friends or worry about the far future. There was only todays in this world. Shinpachi himself did not even know where his only family was. Tae Shimura, his sister, whom he had not seen in almost a year. Somehow, he knew that she was alive. Sis was always a survivor, even more than he was. It was impossible for her to die before him. Last he heard, she was safe with the Shinsengumi - Hijikata and Kondo were there to protect her too. He always resolved to live just to see her again. They would be happy and free at the end of this war. They can make it. They must.
One morning, he chanced upon Sacchan kneeling on the floor beside Gin, while she watched him intently. She stood and stepped away guiltily when she noticed him arrive. "You missed him, didn't you, Sacchan?"
She did not answer but he could tell by the trembling of her shoulders that she cried.
Kagura tried to encourage her sometimes. "Sacchan, it's all in the past. We are fighting a war. Gin knows which side you're on. He won't continue to hate you just because..."
"I want to help him recover." Sacchan implored, "but once he wakes up, he cannot know that I had a hand in this. Tell him no one lives here and that only you two treated him. I cannot be here when he wakes. He'll never forgive me in this lifetime. I've accepted that."
None of them spoke after that. They all just wanted Gin to get better.
Aside from their dear samurai's condition, what worried Shinpachi was their meals. He was sure that Kagura was unsatisfied too because of the consistent growls of her stomach after the tasteless soup and meat are served.
"I wonder if I should go hunting." He accidentally said it out loud.
"Yes, yes, for meat and better food." Kagura nodded enthusiastically.
Sacchan frowned. "You find those things quite far from here."
"I won't get lost," he insisted. "And you said that the enemies never reach this place or the miles surrounding us. I can do it."
"We need a better cuisine if we want to survive," Kagura piped up. "For sure Gin-chan would be really hungry once he wakes up. We can't just serve him water soup with swimming herbs and meat that tastes like paper. No offense, Sacchan."
The purple-haired woman was frowning but she ended up agreeing with them.
"I'll go with Shinpachi so we can get more. You can stay and watch Gin-chan for us, won't you, Sacchan?"
"W-What? I'll go and you stay. What if he wakes up and I'm the only person here?"
"Don't worry, Gin-chan's not gonna hurt you, if that's what you're worried about."
"Maybe it's not a good idea..." Sacchan bit her lip. "His wound's improving... he'll wake soon. I shouldn't be here when that happens."
Shinpachi cut in. "Okay, Kagura, let's just take turns. We promised Sacchan in exchange for her helping Gin." He agreed with Kagura but this was Sacchan's turf and it would be rude if they imposed their demands on her. "Do you really think he'll come back soon?"
She nodded. "He's healing and not bleeding that much."
"Gin-chan deserves a great meal when he wakes." Kagura kept pushing her luck.
Sacchan sighed, "just make it quick, you two. If he wakes, I'm getting my ass out of here."
They both smiled, excited and promising.
Gin would not wake until the fourth day after.
Author's end note: Wow. I was really inspired to write this fic. The events are fast forwarding through my brain so I had to drop everything and write it. Or else everything might disappear. Haha. More soon.