A.N. Well it's definitely been awhile since I wrote/published fanfiction. Roleplaying took over and then school came in and destroyed all creative time. Thought I'd get myself back into writing something other than essays. First time publishing IZ stuff on here so hello, fandom. Unless otherwise stated, oneshots will not be related to each other though the oneshots might tie into threads from IZ roleplays I've done [I have a Dib and a Jessica blog], but if they do, I'll be sure to give some background in the oneshot. Hope you enjoy and please review.

Dib normally knew what to expect when his dad wished to speak to him face to face: What was he doing still studying the paranormal? He should focus on real science. But those talks were usually often and spur of the moment since according to Professor Membrane, Dib needed to be constantly reminded for the idea to stick. Except normally, Membrane never used to schedule time to talk. Usually it was in passing if Membrane was home or Dib was in the labs. He knew it would be something, but Dib never would have thought this would be the conversation that would occur.

"You want me to what?" the boy immediately questioned. No, surely he heard wrong. His dad was not like those power hungry business owners. He was a scientist. He was born to be a scientist. His focus for himself and what he hoped to be the career choice of his children [or at least Dib] was science. How on earth would science turn into that?

Membrane sighed, already knowing the conversation would not go well. But the deal was set, and there was no going back. "You know, son, that I am getting old and that you're going to take over the company. It's time that you should think of settling down or at least focus on something stable in your future that doesn't concern your para-science."

A deadpan stare was sent to the professor. "I'm seventeen, dad. Seventeen! I don't even graduate for another year!" He threw his hands in the air. This had to be a bad dream. Sure, he stopped expecting his father to remember how old he was. Sure, he was used to Professor Membrane pressing his ideas on what Dib's future should be onto the teen. But really? Marriage?

"Why, you know that the Deelishus Weenie Corporation helped us when your sister had Pigmouth."

"But dad," Dib tried to interject.

Membrane cut him off. "No buts, son. I think this is the perfect merge. And you apparently know the girl too. At least you will not be marrying a stranger."

The teen groaned. He may know her, but they were not exactly on the best terms. Her return could have definitely gone better. "But she's an alien, dad! An alien!" Okay. So he may be grasping at straws, but it was something.

"I know, son." Dib merely stared. What? Did his dad actually believe him? He never would have thought this is how his father would admit to the existence of aliens. "The Deelishus Weenie Corporation started in the United Kingdom. I'm sure she decided not to assimilate into America and to keep her heritage alive." Nope. Of course that's what Professor Membrane meant.

"That's not what I meant." Huff. "But still, dad. I don't want to marry her."

"Weren't you two good friends when you were younger?"

The teen's eyebrows shot up. How did his dad know that? That was years ago. Plus he only hung out with Tak at school. "Well.. Uhh.. Yeah," he stammered, not quite sure how to respond. "When she first arrived, but-

Dib never got the chance to finish due to his father cutting him off. "Well, good. Sounds like a perfect match, especially since I've seen on the security camera for the front door that she visits the house often. Is your sister home when she visits?"

Dib thought his father took down the security cameras years ago when he and his sister proved they could take care of themselves. Guess one was still left behind. "Yes..?"

A sigh. "You sister was always too involved in her video games to notice what's going on around her. Are the doors at least closed?"

The boy could feel his face heat up. Did his father just insinuate what Dib thought he did?

Membrane took the silence as embarrassment and then smiled, leaning back in his seat. "You two will be happy and making me grandchildren before you know it."

Red immediately colored Dib's face. "Dad!"

Membrane didn't seem to have heard his son, lost in his own thoughts. "Of course we will need to figure out how to make the children's heads normal sized, though there is a chance that they may have Tak's head size."

"Daaad!"

"Can't have them tipping over like you did."

"Daaaaaaad!"

"I remember the first time I set you down in the crib. You fell over because you couldn't support your head and started crying." Membrane chuckled. "Everyone was afraid of your neck possibly snapping."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

Membrane snapped out of the memory, turning his attention back to Dib. "What is it, son?"

Dib sighed, relieved to finally get a word in. "You do know Tak is Gaz's girlfriend, right?"

Silence.

"Well good thing for technology."