Hello hello my lovelies!

You will all have to be very patient with me as this is my first story ever! I am an avid reader of many talented authors on here but I've never had the courage or really the mojo to write my own. It could be terrible and I didn't even know if I should share it with anyone at first but here it is with some background info to begin.

First of all, I am 150% Team Bethyl! So if they're not your cup of tea proceed with caution you've been warned.

Also, I know they may seem OOC at times however, I'm starting where I've chosen because I believe the events that have transpired would change them somewhat/make them realize certain things.

I always go back to an interview with Norman and he said that he never thought that Daryl would just jump Beth's bones in the funeral home, it would never happen like that. And I totally agree with him, he's never had any love or a relationship in any form and especially not with a woman. However, after losing her I think he would realize that he needs to take a chance and even though it's scary and unfamiliar, life is even shorter than it was before. He is going to have to take that leap and I'm not saying rush into it one time but he will need to be a little bit different to make it work.

I am not starting off exactly at the end of any specific scene or episode. The midseason finale has happened and part of season five that we have seen already. For instance, part of them will go to Virginia but I cannot kill Tyrese. That was horrible I would've been heartbroken for anyone to go but especially him. It's so tempting to off Noah LOL but if that happened then what did Beth "die" for?

Also I am definitely incorporating Morgan quite a bit. I'm not really sure and if anyone is please share your ideas with me, if he was happy or just plain old crazy to see Rick's name on that map. In my world he is just simply crazy because that's who he is LOL but he was also happy. No matter what happened I think that they formed some sort of bond and trust and that Morgan's tired of being alone. He's decided he's going to live without hi family and it's time to make a new one.

Again please be patient with me and share any constructive criticism but keep the hate to a minimum this was definitely pushing me to the brink of my comfort zone to post this! To my Team Bethyl and Delusional members I hope this does our couple justice!

Gone. She's just gone. I never would've thought all those weeks ago talking to Rick that I was almost foreshadowing what was going to happen to her.

The bigger part of me, the stubborn part, always just told me I would get her back. To be honest, the cocky part of me was always there too being pushed by the guilt that was slowly -and now rapidly- eating away at me from the inside out.

And along with stubborn and cocky Daryl, another small part of me, a part that had never been touched, never been used my whole life not only told me I would get her back but needed her and wanted her back. That part of me would not exist anymore without her. And that part was going to deal with the rest of those feelings once she was here. Safely in my arms.

And here I am, I did get her back, she is in my arms. I feel the warm weight of her in my arms, against my chest and the soft blonde hair on her head brushing my chin. But all of those things are blurry background images and noises in comparison to the stark contrast, the screaming noise of her blood on my arms. The blood that tells me I failed, that tells me that even though she's in my arms, this time she truly is gone.

A sound brings me out of my own selfish wallowing thoughts. Maggie's heartbreaking wails and screams. I don't even remember seeing her, Glenn, Abraham, Tara, Rosita and Eugene until now. But hearing those sounds coming out of her makes me realize that Beth's death will change our group more than any other loss we've experienced. She was always everyone's bright spark and hope. Carrying on her father's light that we all relied on more than I think we'd like to admit. The only light to ever shine in the dark abyss (can't even call it a simple small tunnel) that is my life.

I don't think that anyone who is still existing -I refuse to call this living- in this pathetic piece of shit excuse for a world ever needs an extra reminder that life isn't fair. Before the turn I think most levelheaded people realized that life is unfair but these days you get the hard slap of a reminder all the time. And usually at the worst times. As if holding her lifeless body in my arms wasn't enough to make me realize that now and remember it until the day I die, a small herd of those fucking walking corpses is coming our way. I already know I will have to leave her behind, that she won't get the burial that she deserves. Just like her father...

She put her life at risk and lost it for another person at the end of the goddamn world and I'm going to have to leave her in the parking lot of a hospital with people inside that helped to take her. Take her from me.

Between our weakened states, some physical and some emotional, the roar the fire engine (where's the bus?), even if I did miss its arrival and Maggie's sobs there is no way to get rid of this herd. We have to run and fast.

I look around as quickly as possible for anywhere that I could leave her. I refuse to let them have her. The only silver lining to this is that the bullet went straight through her head and there's no way that she'll turn and none of us have to be the one to take care of that problem. I'm definitely grasping at straws trying to find anything positive about this but I don't know if anyone would've been able to do that to her.

As these thoughts are going through my head I'm still scanning our immediate surroundings for somewhere to put her. Theres an area off to my left behind some regular chicken wire fences that would've been there before the turn but have been slightly reinforced and are in good looks like the side area of the hospital, perhaps it was a staff entrance or somewhere for laundry who knows and I could give a flying fuck anyway but the gate opens and has a latch on the inside that I can get my hand through and close so they won't be able to get to her.

I can feel Rick watching me. He knows that I would need to do this for any of us but I already can tell that he knows this is effecting me more than anything or anyone else ever has.

Glenn must also have some sort of a sixth sense along with Rick because he gets Maggie to me before I can even think about standing up to make my move to get Beth's body safe. Maggie wraps her arms around her sisters body sobbing into her hair kissing her face, apologizing and murmuring words of endearment and sadness and then it becomes unintelligible. I hate that their goodbye has to be so short and so fucking awful but I have to get her to that area now or it won't happen.

I run over and gently put her on the small set of steps leading up to a side door that looks securely shut and I hear no moans and groans of corpses from behind it after a quick and hard thump of my fist. After I lay her down, I gently brush my hand across her beautiful face and say my last goodbye to her. In the only way I know how. Right before I pull away, I whisper, for her un-hearing ears only "I'm sorry".

Those two words hold so much meaning. I'm sorry for letting my guard down and opening the fucking door, for letting you be taken, for not grabbing your tough little elbow inside that hospital and stopping you from trying to hurt Dawn. And I'm sorry for letting a future for us together fall to pieces before we could even explore it.

Once she's as safe as I can make her I start running to the group, taking down a walker with a knife to the head and another with an arrow I won't get back. Our group separates into the two vehicles we brought with us and we head back to the church. It's time to decide what to do now but I don't know if I even have the will to contemplate any sort of a plan now. To me there is no future, I have never felt this way. Not even the first time I saw the dead rise and start chomping its way towards me. It wasn't until I lost her that I realized there really is no hope left in this godforsaken world.

Wellll there is it! Chapter 1 and I do have a few more written and ideas floating around in my head. Let me know what you thought!