So I finished the first 2000-ish words months ago, and then sort of lost where I was going with this fic. It was always meant to be a one-shot. It was never meant to be almost 8000 words long! Anyway, I love Hermione/Remus. I wanted to contribute something to the pairing, so here it is! I'm not as big a Harry Potter fan as I was five years ago, thus it's been a long time since I've seen the movies or read the books. Forgive me any mistakes. This will likely be my only contribution to the Harry Potter fandom.
Due to a very disgruntled reviewer I feel the need to place a warning at the beginning. Though I'm certain it's clear this is a Hermione/Remus story, I will stress that Hermione does NOT end up with Ron. Also, because as it says in the summary that Ron is cheating, it isn't very Ron-friendly, though I didn't make him a monster either. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!
I don't own anything. Obviously AU, as it's post DH and Remus is still alive. Set approximately four years later, as Teddy is four years old in this fic.
Life after the war was very different. Bonds had been broken, shifted, reformed into something different. Hermione looked at Ron and she no longer felt that warm affection, the timid and all consuming obsession that had marked her feelings for him before the war ended. She no longer felt a curiosity to stumble into physical affection with a partner as inexperienced as she was. Their first time had been as one would expect, awkward and painful and unsatisfying. Their brief encounters after that had been similar. There was no pain involved, except when Ron squeezed her breasts too roughly, or when their teeth still managed to mash together in his exuberance. It was no longer as awkward, Ron shedding his clothes to reveal his pale freckled skin quickly, his chest thrust out in pride as she viewed his unattractive form. It was still unsatisfying, Ron thinking he understood how to please her, but not effectively and she was too embarrassed, for him and herself to tell him otherwise. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive, because he was. Pale and freckled he might be, but he was broad and though he was not very muscular it wasn't his lack that she found unattractive. She found herself fantasizing that he was taller, leaner, his pale unblemished skin a little darker, crisscrossed with silvery-white scars. His hair so much less red, maybe a light brown with threads of gray. It took her until perhaps the fifth night of closing her eyes and pretending that Ron was someone else as he grunted above her to realize just who she was fantasizing about.
And the thoughts shamed her. He was older, perhaps most people would think the age gap too significant. But it was his age, his wisdom and personality shaped from a difficult youth she found so attractive. He used to be her professor and she still wasn't sure when the innocent crush had turned into full blown attraction, the admiration into something resembling love. He was a widower, his wife lost during the war, leaving him and their young son to mourn her loss. That fact shamed her the most. She desired a man that had lost so much, that was still in love with his dead wife, that had barely moved past the honeymoon phase before her death. She, Hermione Granger, was in love with Remus Lupin. And she felt like she was betraying Tonks' memory. Oddly, she felt no such guilt when faced with the thought of betraying Ron. Maybe it was because she realized that their passionless sex had left him searching for more rewarding company in the form of Lavender Brown. And though he did his best to hide their interludes, whether it was to save face or to spare Hermione's feelings she wasn't quite sure, but he still wasn't able to hide much from her. Not when he failed so effortlessly at subtlety.
There was the time when he'd insisted he'd had tickets to a Quidditch game that he was attending with Harry. Of course by this time it had been probably the tenth attempt to hide what he was actually doing while not completely thinking it through. He'd forgotten that Harry and she were going to a dinner held in honor of Ginny Potter for her restoration efforts after the war. Hermione hadn't bothered to remind him of this because he could never sit through events like these without fidgeting endlessly. Once or twice he'd actually fallen asleep. She didn't want to put Harry and Ginny through the embarrassment. So she'd made the usual excuses. Ron had a late practice with the Chudley Cannons because if she could use the excuse he was at a game she would, but she actually checked her facts. There were no Quidditch matches that night and it wouldn't take a genius to figure it out. Harry and Ginny would take no offense that Ron had skipped out on the dinner for a game. They loved him but they weren't blind to his faults or to the possibility that he'd fall asleep while Ginny was at the podium.
So that night she'd spent an enjoyable evening sitting beside Remus in his first public appearance after Tonks' funeral. He'd been understandably subdued but the smile he'd given her had shown his genuine pleasure to see her again. And his smile had stirred butterflies in her stomach and forced a flush on her face. She hoped he thought the flush was from the heat of the room. She'd given him a warm hug, her heart racing at the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her so briefly, and his lean frame pressed so intimately against her own. Their hug had lasted a few seconds too long but while he was seeking comfort from a friend, she was selfishly pretending that for a few moments he was hers. They'd talked of nothing and everything. Hermione did her best to keep Ron from the conversation, Remus reflecting sadly that Tonks would be bored to pieces at an event like this. The wistful smile on his face had sparked an ember of jealousy at his devotion to his late wife. Hermione had shoved the feeling down deep with shame and given her genuine condolences. To see Remus still hurting made the ache in her heart sharp and painful. No one wanted to see the person they loved in pain, emotionally or physically. She'd done her best to keep the conversation light, managing to entice a small smile from him once or twice. She'd demanded one dance from him which he'd obliged with an affectionate quirk of his mouth. It had been all too brief for Hermione, their bodies remaining at a respectable distance when all she wanted was for him to hold her close and see how well they fit together. The night had ended with Remus apparating her home before leaving to his own residence at Grimmauld Place shortly after 12 am. The surprise kiss he'd placed on her cheek had fueled less than innocent fantasies at the memory of his stubble-covered jaw brushing against the sensitive skin of her cheek.
Ron hadn't come home that night, making up an excuse that he'd stayed at Dean Thomas' house the night before. He'd flushed red and stammered out the excuse that he'd forgotten it was Dean and not Harry he'd invited to the game. And how could he forget Ginny's big night? The look he'd given her was so accusatory when he'd asked her why she hadn't mentioned it to him that all she could do was apologize. That night when she threw his clothes in the wash, she'd only rolled her eyes as the smudged red lipstick on his collar and the tears she'd shed were for the life she'd thought she'd have, not the fact that Ron was not the man she thought he was.
Ron was so much more attentive after he'd spent the night with Lavender that it made Hermione irritable. He tripped all over himself in his attempts to spoil her. When she'd rather have a quiet night at home with a book, she instead found herself forced to dress up and eat at some obnoxious restaurant with food she found unappetizing. Meanwhile Ron would sit across from her, shoveling food into his face with a smug expression. She often wondered how she'd once found his oblivious nature endearing, his thoughtlessness cute.
The situation was made worse when Remus had finally come out of his seclusion completely, Kingsley offering him a job at the Ministry as liaison to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Remus had accepted after some reluctance but Kingsley had persuaded him that staying at home, living off the support of Teddy's grandmother was no way to raise his son. Hermione was called the brightest witch of her age and maybe that was true but there were some that felt she was wasting her potential. She was offered positions as head of several departments in the Ministry. She was offered a position at Hogwarts to replace Professor Flitwick once he'd finally retired, or to fill the newly appointed Headmistress McGonagall's old teaching position. She'd been offered a position at the Daily Bugle as editor-in-chief, or a position to train as an Auror with Harry. She'd chosen to head the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She'd always worried about what she'd do after school, there had always been so many choices. She'd surprised even herself with her choice and after some reflection she feared that her motives had something to do with the idea that Remus had been offered the position as liaison directly after Voldemort's fall. It had seemed only a matter of time before he accepted. She'd always had a crush on him, had found him easy to be around, and she'd respected him almost more than she'd respected anyone. The thought of teaching at Hogwarts was still too painful to contemplate after Dumbledore's death and the death of so many others. It was no longer a safe place to her, not completely. Being an Auror was something she could see Harry embracing enthusiastically but it wasn't something she was interested in. She loved writing but due to her previous negative encounters with the press she held no desire to pursue a career in that area. So she threw herself into rebuilding relationships with the various magical creatures around the world, and turning the views of the general populace in favor of those creatures after many of their alliances with Voldemort. She truly believed that many magical creatures were misunderstood, seeing everything clearly after the events of the war. She knew what bad press and circulated rumors did to someone's reputation. She figured she'd picked up some of her views from Hagrid and the thought made her grin.
And Remus became her right-hand man. She felt a mix of torment and elation when they worked together. Their easy back and forth, their shared opinions and humor all cementing in her mind that if she was only older, if he was only younger or if he'd never married Tonks and she'd never started a relationship with Ron, that maybe they would be together. Her attraction only intensified the longer they worked together, their easy friendship something she cherished. And she absolutely adored Teddy, who she saw so often, the little boy started to call her Auntie 'Mine-y' with Remus' encouragement. And the more she saw Remus with Teddy, the more she held Teddy in her arms, the more she wished he was hers, that they were a family.
Ron started to feel neglected to the point that he was often sullen in her presence. He whined that she never had time for him, that their relationship was suffering and it was all her fault. His complaints only produced exasperated sighs and eye-rolls on her part. In her mind their relationship had seen it's end the first time he'd cheated on her. No matter how much the world saw him as the perfect boyfriend. Ginny started to drop hints that Ron was getting ready to propose and the thought filled Hermione with equal parts dread and relief. Because after that, for better or worse their relationship would truly be over. She would never agree to be Ron's wife and then there would be no relationship to hide behind. Her friends would want her to date eventually, they would all want her to be happy. As happy as Ginny and Harry, as happy as Neville and Luna. And she'd deny them all because there was only one man she wanted. And there was no way he could feel the same. She'd heard once that you only had one true love. If this was true she'd die alone. Remus was hers, and Tonks was his.
Remus found himself at a crossroads. He was aware of Hermione's growing feelings for him. He could smell her desire whenever they were in close proximity and it was driving him to distraction. He'd first been in complete disbelief but over time, as his own attraction to the pretty witch grew, he'd had conflicting feelings of elation and fear. It was clear that her and Ron's relationship was facing some difficulties. Hermione often waved off Remus' concerns about her late nights at work. She'd been nonchalant when telling him that Ron wouldn't be home anyway. At first he'd believed her stories that he was at a practice and was staying late at a friends, or that he had a game out of the country but it soon became apparent that not even Hermione believed her lies. He could smell the lie on her and wondered why she would feel the need to concoct such a ruse.
He'd stopped wondering when he'd spotted Ron on one of his nights away from home. It was a chance encounter. George had set off some elaborate joke in Grimmauld Place and it was unlivable for the night. He'd considered asking Hermione to spend a night at her place but once she'd mentioned Ron was out for the night he'd nixed that idea. A night alone with Hermione did not bode well for his self-control. So he'd spent the night at a motel, while Teddy had spent the night at his grandmother's. Andromeda Tonks wouldn't hear of her only grandson staying in a motel. The same obviously couldn't be said for her son-in-law. The motel was a dank-smelling place that irritated his senses but he was on a budget and it was the best he could afford.
He'd been stepping out of his room to buy a snack at one of the vending machines around the corner when he'd heard Ron's voice. Remus had been confused at first. Hermione had stated that Ron was spending the night at a friend's house. There had been no outright deception in her voice or scent but he was certain she was hiding something from him. He realized what she'd been hiding from him and the rest of her friends for so long when he finally caught sight of Ronald Weasley. He was snogging one Lavender Brown, their attention completely lost in each other. He had the girl pressed against the door of his room and he was trying to open the door while at the same time it looked like he was attempting to suck Lavender's lungs out through her mouth. They looked utterly ridiculous. It was only when Remus heard the low growl emitting from his throat that he realized just how close the full moon was. He wanted to rip Ron's throat out for cheating on a woman as beautiful and amazing as Hermione. Instead he'd returned to his room and slipped the door shut silently when he'd really wanted to slam it. He'd spent a sleepless night debating on what to say to Hermione. She was far from stupid so it was obvious she knew something was going on. But why stay with Ron if she knew he was cheating on her? She deserved so much better.
The next morning he'd walked into the office Hermione and he shared looking worse than he did after the full moon. Hermione was instantly demanding an explanation. She knew the exact date of the full moon and she'd been preparing his Wolfsbane potion for him since after Voldemort's downfall.
He'd explained about the disaster perpetrated by George and his sleepless night at a run of the mill motel. He'd exaggerated the unpleasant irritation to his acute senses but she still seemed skeptical. She'd grown to know him so well. It was that realization that forced him to rethink their relationship. They needed to confront this unspoken tension between them and he needed to know what chance, if any, they had of starting a relationship.
Remus had loved Tonks. He'd thought that what he'd felt with her was unique. He'd thought that with her death he wouldn't feel anything remotely similar for anyone else. Maybe that was why he'd resisted his attraction to Hermione for so long, assuming that it couldn't be any deeper than that. But he'd come to realize that what he'd felt for Tonks, while completely genuine might not have lasted. They were different people and even within their short marriage there had been strife. Tonks had been a loud slightly over-bearing individual. She'd been used to attention, to life spent surrounded by people in the spotlight. He had grown used to another sort of life. He preferred to spend his free time reading while Tonks had always begged him to be daring with her. To try something completely out of his comfort zone. She hadn't completely understood his wolf side and she'd never comforted him after the full moon, choosing instead to avoid him and give him space. He'd wished many times that she'd simply stayed by his side. But Moony hadn't been as enamored of his chosen mate. The days closest to the full moon had always been a time of great sexual frustration. He'd figured it would get better when he'd finally embraced a relationship with Tonks. Dora had always seemed eager to see his feral side unleashed. It had never happened, Remus' desire dying at the sight of her. He'd often wondered what was wrong with him and why Tonks had chosen him of all people to fall in love with.
Hermione on the other completely enraptured Moony. The closer to the full moon it was, the harder he had to hold onto his self control. He often found himself leaning over her as she perused papers on her desk, simply breathing in her scent. His breath had tickled her ear more than once but she'd laughed off his proximity, teasingly suggesting he get a pair of glasses if he had to lean that close to see.
On a night only a few days from the full moon, Remus was feeling restless, antsy in a way he usually wasn't when taking his wolfsbane potion. Hermione and he were working late, finally deciding enough was enough nearing midnight. Hermione seemed reluctant to leave, commenting that Ron was out for the night. Remus growled, earning a surprised squeak from his dearest friend.
"Really, Remus? Are you sure you haven't missed a dose of your wolfsbane? You've been growling and losing your temper all day without provocation." Hermione didn't seem offended, wearing a concerned frown.
"I'm sorry 'Mione. I'm not sure why I'm all of sorts today. I did take my usual doses but they don't seem to be having the normal affect of calming Moony."
Hermione smiled as he referenced his wolf by his old childhood nickname. "Well, maybe Moony just needs to let loose." She offered with a mischievous smile.
"And what would you suggest, Miss Granger?" Remus asked playfully. He was up for any distraction from his baser side's antics.
"Now, I'm not exactly the party animal, but I know a good pub or two we could sit down and have a drink at." Hermione shot him a hopeful smile.
Remus wanted to say no. He was tempted to feign a sudden exhaustion and simply head home. But Hermione was staring at him with such an earnest expression, he found he couldn't say no. Especially knowing that she would be going home to an empty bed once again.
"All right, Hermione. Lead the way."
Her expression was startled but joyful as she laughed and planted a quick kiss to his cheek. "I promise you won't regret it Remus!"
At the sharp ache of want that pulsed in his belly at the simple gesture of affection, Remus was immediately on edge, regretting his decision as Moody tried to shove his way to the forefront of his mind. Remus shoved him back, and followed Hermione out the doors with a sense of dread. He felt this night could not end well.
The pub Hermione chose was distinctly muggle. There were very few people inside, a couple giggling twenty-somethings dancing on the small dance floor, the usual dour old man silently nursing his drink at the bar, and a middle-aged businessman showing his iPad's amazing new features to an enraptured pair of women who oohed and ahhed at his every word. Hermione gave the dancers an eyeroll, nodding to the man at the bar and glared with disgust at the man with the iPad. He was clearly more interested in speaking to the women's cleavage than the women themselves, but his wedding band was prominently displayed on his left hand.
Hermione chose a table in a secluded corner of the table, sliding into the same side of the booth as Remus. He ignored the tingle of awareness at her proximity and perused the drink menu with a hint of distaste. He had absolutely no idea what 90% of the drinks were, all labeled with outrageous names that made no sense.
"The Fuzzy Pink Unicorn?" he asked with a raised brow.
Hermione laughed at his incredulity. "It has the ingredients below the name." she offered.
"Still a ridiculous name, if you ask me." Remus grumbled. "What happened to just ordering a Rum and Coke or Scotch on the Rocks?"
"I personally like the Pornstar." Hermione commented, earning a wry smile from Remus.
"Oh, and what's in that drink I wonder?"
Hermione was about to tell him when the server approached their table with a warm smile.
"Hi! My name is Sarah! Do you guys need a food menu?"
Hermione glanced at Remus and he shrugged his shoulders. He was kind of hungry but if Hermione only wanted a quick drink he wasn't about to delay her.
"Yes, we'd like the menu please," Hermione responded with a smile. "And two Fuzzy Pink Unicorns to start as well."
The waitress left with an amused smile aimed at Remus. Remus grimaced at Hermione as if to say 'what have you done?'
"You'll like it...I think." Hermione offered.
"And if I don't, you have to drink both." Remus warned with an amused smile.
The waitress brought them the menu and their two drinks. Both were a darker shade of pink.
"They're pink!" Remus declared with a bewildered expression, grabbing the martini glass and lifting it to peer closely at the drink.
Hermione rolled her eyes at his antics. "Of course they're pink Remus! They're not called The Fuzzy Pink Unicorns for nothing."
They decided on two baskets of wings to share, and Remus was adamant that he needed another drink after taking a sip of his Fuzzy Pink Unicorn and promptly grimacing. He claimed it was too fruity, earning a chuckle from Hermione. She ended up drinking both of them, with Remus settling on a couple glasses of Cognac.
It was around the time that Remus had finished devouring an entire basket of wings and eyed Hermione's with eager eyes that Ron walked through the door.
Remus was alerted to his presence immediately, his scent thick and acrid in his nose. He sneezed and looked around for Weasley with narrowed eyes. He could smell the Brown girl with him as well, and that didn't bode well for Hermione's emotional well-being. Hermione took notice of his narrowed, searching eyes, looking around to see what Remus was looking for. She saw them first.
Ron was clearly drunk, the color of his flushed face matching his hair perfectly. He had an arm draped around Lavender and she smiled awkwardly under the weight. It looked like she was supporting him, both of them swaying on their feet. Hermione's face paled at the sight, gripping Remus' arm tightly.
"We should go." Hermione urged quietly. "There's a back exit we can get to without being seen."
Remus was having none of it. He'd never mentioned the incident at the motel, his guilty weighing heavily on him. He felt as if he'd betrayed a friend.
"No." Remus said with determination. "He's made a fool of you for too long."
Hermione's face paled. "You knew?"
Remus snorted. "I have superior senses, Hermione. I could smell the Brown girl on him whenever he happened to be by your side. Even before that, I knew you were having trouble. If you were mine, your scent would be permanently mixed with mine. Werewolves' are possessive creatures, and his scent was absent from you." The last was said just a little smugly, thinking clearly out the window as Hermione gaped at him with rising embarrassment.
"Remus!" Hermione looked on the verge of tears, and it took Remus a moment to realize that what he was saying was inappropriate, and probably hurtful to Hermione.
He stared at her in horror. "Forgive me, Hermione. I don't know what I'm saying."
"Clearly you do." Hermione sniffed. "Why didn't you mention you knew about Ron?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably. "I knew you had to be aware of his...dalliances. I couldn't understand why you chose to stay with him, when you clearly deserve so much more. I thought it best not to interfere until you felt comfortable enough to share with me."
"Can you really not understand why I could care less about Ron sleeping with Lavender Brown?"
Remus glanced towards Ron, anything to focus his attention away from the woman who pleaded with him with her eyes. He knew what she was asking of him, but was he ready to take that step? Was he really selfish enough to saddle such a bright, beautiful woman with a reclusive, scarred werewolf like him?
Hermione gripped his arm, completely ignoring Ron and Lavender's presence in the pub. "Remus, please. Please tell me you feel this too."
It was then that Ron noticed them. His eyes widened comically, his flushed skin turning completely white, except for the red dots that stood in stark contrast across his cheeks. He took in Hermione's hand gripping Remus' arm with blurry comprehension. His expression turned stormy as he did his best to stomp his way to their table, shoving Lavender away in the process.
"Hey, Lupin! Whatcha doin here with 'Mione?" Ron reached out for Hermione's arm, completely overshooting and instead grasping her unfinished wings. He pulled one towards him with a bewildered expression, as Remus smirked.
"Hello, Ron." Remus straightened in his seat, his tone cold as he watched the boy make an idiot of himself. "Hermione and I are simply having a drink after work. I understood that you were at a Quidditch practice, unless Hermione simply misunderstood? And is that Miss Brown with you?"
Ron took offense immediately, taking a clumsy swing at Remus, which Remus dodged easily. He'd clearly drank too much, but Ron was positively sloshed.
"You have no right!" Ron bellowed. "Mione's mine!"
"Is she?" Remus questioned with a deadly calm. "Then why are you here with Lavender? Why do you smell like the girl every time we meet? Why does Hermione make so many excuses for your absences. Surely there aren't that many practices in a year?"
Ron glared at him, swaying on his feet once again as he tried to focus on the four Remus' he was seeing. He shook his head to clear it, but it was useless. He knew he wouldn't be able to deal with this tonight. He shot one more glare at Remus and stomped back the way he came, grabbing Lavender's arm and dragging her out beside him.
"I could have handled that myself." Hermione spoke softly.
Remus searched her expression, fearful that he'd offended her yet again. But there was a small smile of relief on her lips. Remus gently patted the hand that was still resting on his arm. "I know you could have. I would have loved to see it but I told you, werewolves are possessive. It's in our nature to be overprotective." He grimaced. "Just one of the reasons I fear relationships."
Hermione's face fell with disappointment, taking his words as a rejection. "I see."
"I didn't say I wasn't open to one, with the right woman." Remus smiled wryly. "As you said, I've felt it too, this bond between us. I'm tired of fighting it, Hermione. I'm a bloody fool for thinking I could deserve you, but I'm a selfish one too."
"I like it when you're selfish," Hermione murmured. "If it means I get to keep you."
"Deal." Remus leaned across the table, brushing his lips across hers gently.
"Do you think I could stay at your place tonight?" Hermione was suddenly shy, her cheeks stained red as she made the request. "Just to sleep," she clarified. "I really don't want to deal with Ron tonight, if he comes back to the flat."
Remus stood up and held out his hand. She took it with a smile. "Of course you can. You can whatever you want, whatever is in my power to give you is yours."
Hermione pulled him close, pressing her lips against his for a lingering kiss. "The only thing I want, the only thing I've wanted for a long time is you, Remus."
Remus smiled, the small quirk of his lips belying the joy that filled him at her words.
They walked out to the street, hand in hand. Remus paused for a moment, giving Hermione a sheepish grin. "Uh, we'll have to be quiet when we get home. Teddy's sure to be sleeping."
"I wonder what the babysitter will think, respectable Remus Lupin bringing a woman home."
Remus grinned wickedly. "I'm sure Miss Weasley will be scandalized at the sight."
Hermione gasped, stopping suddenly in horror. Remus laughed, shaking his head at her expression. Hermione scowled at his teasing, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "Sneak!" she declared.
Remus shrugged. "You should have seen your face."
Hermione hit him once more, worry creeping on her face. "Seriously Remus, who's watching Teddy?"
"Harry and Ginny. I think they're relishing the practice."
Hermione groaned, pulling her hand away from his. "That's just as bad!"
"You don't think they'll be happy for us?" Remus questioned. "Or do you want to keep this a secret?"
"Of course not!" Hermione cried. "I'll tell the world, let Rita Skeeter write a front page expose on the topic if that's what it takes for people to accept us." She paused, imploring him to understand. "But I can't tell them tonight. Not when my breakup with Ron isn't even official. I won't do that to him, and I won't ask my friends, and his sister of all people to keep my secret. It's not fair."
Remus nodded, relief filling him. He should have known that Hermione would try to make this as painless as possible for Ron, even if he didn't deserve it. Some part of Remus, namely Moony, wanted to shove their new relationship in Ron's face, to gloat that the better man had won. But he easily shoved those feelings aside. He didn't hate Ron Weasley, would always have a soft spot for Harry and Ron being so close to both their families.
"You're right. I'm sorry to have doubted you Hermione."
Hermione shook her head. "Don't be sorry. We're still new to this. We're both going to make mistakes. As long as we work through them together, as long as we stick together, nothing can come between us."
Remus wrapped his arm around Hermione, feeling utterly grateful that he had a chance with someone like Hermione. She was truly a remarkable witch.
"Okay." Remus agreed. "You can wait outside until I give the all clear."
"And tomorrow, I'll go and see Ron first thing. It's best that he knew right away."
Remus simply nodded, lost in thoughts of a future with Hermione.
Ron woke up with a raging headache. Lavender was long gone, Ron not even sure she'd come to the flat. They'd had a row last night, after the incident at the pub. At the memory of Hermione and Remus together, Ron was out of his bed instantly, looking around for Hermione. Her side of the bed didn't look slept in, but she'd often fell asleep at her desk on the chair in by the fireplace when she was working late. He threw on some clothes, taking a hangover potion that cleared the dull ache in his head and allowed him to think clearly.
If he allowed himself to admit it, his relationship with Hermione hadn't been good in a long time. Maybe not ever. They'd gotten together because it seemed like the right thing to do. He'd liked her, she'd liked him and maybe they'd moved too fast. Moving in together right away had just made sense, but it wasn't the wisest decision they'd ever made. Quirks and pet peeves they'd known of, or hadn't in some cases, weren't allowed an adjustment period. They were thrown together and they found that many things about each other irked them. If Ron was being completely honest, Hermione was more annoyed with his habits than he was with her. She was obsessively neat, whereas Ginny had often accused him of being a slob. She needed her coffee in the morning, Ron thought the stuff was disgusting, and often forgot to buy any when it was his turn to shop. Hermione's diet wasn't particularly picky or special, but Ron's idea of dinner was either something he could reheat with a spell, mostly dishes his mother prepared for him. He grew fond of the microwave Hermione bought. Hermione insisted on teaching him to cook, and that had led to many arguments and frustration on both parts before she gave up entirely. Hermione read, way too many books if you asked him. When he wanted to watch the telly she'd introduced him to, she would ask him to turn it down. But he loved the thing, loved to turn it up until it drowned out Hermione's incessant pleas. On second thought, he figured her concerns were valid. They'd often got noise complaints, Ron forgetting to soundproof the flat, the telly blaring until he couldn't think past the noise. Hermione complained when he threw his Quidditch robes on the floor after a practice or game. She'd strategically placed laundry baskets around the flat but Ron seemed to miss them every time to her great annoyance. In Ron's defense, he was used to them simply being taken care of. But Hermione was muggleborn and was self-sufficient to a point that amazed Ron.
Ron couldn't understand her need to work, all the time. She was always on about this and that at the office, and Ron often drowned her voice out, unable to muster the interest to listen past a couple minutes. And maybe it wasn't fair, when he liked to verbally replay every game until Hermione could quote him and finish his sentences. Maybe she was better at the listening thing. Ron hated her office events, hated anything to do with her stuffy job, and he tried to avoid the Ministry at every turn. Hermione was surprisingly indulgent of him, and yet she still made it to every game, even when the rain was pouring. It came to a point that Ron realized that maybe he didn't deserve Hermione.
By this point, he genuinely loved her. But their sex life hadn't been spectacular to start with, to the point that he was daydreaming about what good sex would be like. And Lavender had started to appear at every game, around the time that Hermione started to miss a few as her job became more demanding. They'd had a row about her unwillingness to cut back so she could be more supportive of him. When he'd suggested it Hermione had been positively enraged. And Lavender made him feel better than Hermione did most days, properly awed by his expertise. It hadn't been the smartest decision to cheat with Lavender, but it had given him a fresh perspective on the situation. He was convinced that if he simply persuaded Hermione to slow down at work and spend more time with him then they could save their relationship. He was making enough galleons for the both of them, and he was sure Hermione would want children at some point.
The matter seemed settled in his mind. But there was the issue of Lavender. She clung to him, calling him at random times, begging for him to come see her. And when he relented, it led to the inevitable. He liked her, felt sorry that he was going to have to end things sooner than later, but he was set on marrying Hermione. She knew him better than anyone. They'd been through so much that Ron was sure that she was the woman he was meant to spend his life with. Harry and Ginny, Hermione and Ron. It just made sense.
But the scene at the pub had thrown his plans off considerably. He couldn't remember everything that had happened. He remembered enough that he knew Hermione had been drinking with Remus Lupin, of all people. He knew she must have seen him with Lavender, but he could explain that away, he was sure.
Hermione was sitting at their kitchen table, sipping her coffee as she read the paper. Ron sighed in relief. All seemed normal. What he didn't realize was that Hermione was out of sorts, dread filling her at what she'd come here to do. Following her normal morning routine had settled her nerves somewhat.
"Ron." Hermione greeted quietly, pushing the paper away from her and placing her cup on the table.
"Morning, 'Mione." Ron spoke as cheerfully as he could muster, nerves almost getting the best of him. He started on his normal routine, preparing himself a bowl of cereal, and sitting down with a glass of orange juice as Hermione watched him.
"Ron, we need to talk."
Ron's stomach plummeted at her words, but he refused to believe that this could end any way but how he'd envisioned it. "Of course, 'Mione. But I have something to ask you first."
He got up, pulling the small velvet-covered box from his robes as Hermione looked on with rising horror.
"I, uh, have been meaning to ask you something for awhile." Ron started with, clearing his throat. "Never really seemed to be a right time."
"And now seems like the right time?" Hermione asked incredulously.
Ron nodded nervously. "I thought after last night, I should...make it clear how I feel about you. You might have misunderstood what you saw-"
"Misunderstood?" Hermione exploded, her eyes flashing dangerously. "What was there to misunderstand, Ron? Was there a valid reason for you to be out with Lavender Brown instead of at the Quidditch practice that was nonexistent?"
"She was just giving me advice about what ring I should get you." Ron defended hotly.
"Oh, was the ring down your throat?" Hermione asked sarcastically. "Because she seemed pretty interested in shoving her tongue down it!"
"We didn't kiss!" Ron denied, but he wasn't sure, his tone hesitant. He didn't remember as much as he would have liked to. He chose to go on the offensive. "And what was Remus doing there?"
"We were having a drink after work, because I knew you wouldn't be home and I didn't want to be alone."
Ron ignored the rising feelings of guilt and clung stubbornly to the words that might implicate her. "Lonely, were you? I could tell, with your hands all over him!"
"Don't you dare, Ronald Weasley! Don't you dare accuse me of anything when you've been shagging Lavender for months." At Ron's gobsmacked expression, Hermione rolled her eyes. "You think I didn't know? How stupid do you think I am?"
"So why stay with me, if you knew?" Ron asked, defeated.
Hermione sighed, looking as defeated as he did. "I don't know, Ron. I should have ended this months ago, after the first night you didn't come home."
"Look, Hermione. We can work this out! You obviously know that we belong together. I don't care a whit about Lavender. I promise, it's over between us."
Hermione stared at him with sad eyes. "Ron, that's just it. I know we don't belong together, maybe never did. I don't love you. You don't love me, and this has been dragging on much too long."
"But I do love you!" Ron grabbed her hand, pleading with her. "Please, 'Mione. Give me another chance. I can prove it!"
Hermione pulled her hand away and shook her head, her arms coming wrapping around herself protectively. "No, Ron. Even if I believed you, I don't want that."
Ron dropped to a chair, a bitter smile twisting his lips. "It's because of him, isn't it?"
Hermione didn't play dumb, only nodding sadly. "Even if I didn't know him, I know that we'd never work. We're too different. We want very different things. I can't be the woman you want me to be. And you're not the man that I imagine spending the rest of my life with."
Ron laughed without mirth, a deep pain settling on his chest. "And Remus is?"
"I never wanted to hurt you." Hermione reached for him, at the last moment pulling her hand away as he glowered at the table.
"He's old enough to be your father." Ron finally intoned. It was a weak argument. He knew Hermione wouldn't care. If Ron allowed himself to think about it, he would realize just how perfect those two were for each other. Hermione had always been an old soul, wise beyond her years. Brightest witch of her age was an understatement.
"Does that bother you?" Hermione inquired softly.
"Of course it bloody bothers me!" Ron growled. "I'm losing you to a...a..."
Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't you dare say it. Remus is a man, like any other. He just happens to be the man I'm in love with."
Ron's shoulders slumped at her admittance. "I know it. He's a good man. Doesn't make me hate him any less for stealing you away."
"I wasn't yours to steal." Hermione admitted. "If he'd given any indication that he felt the same way, we would have had this conversation months ago. Maybe we'd never have been together in the first place."
Ron humphed an agreement. Wondering where they could go from here. He truly did love Hermione. Maybe it wasn't a romantic love, but right now his breaking heart couldn't tell the difference. He felt like he was losing one of his best friends. "Promise me something?"
Hermione nodded uneasily.
"Promise me, that after everything. After I have sufficient time to lick my wounds and think clearly. When I don't feel like throwing a Cruciatus curse at Remus on sight, that we'll still be friends. I don't think I could lose you forever, after everything. After everyone we've already lost."
"Oh, Ron!" Hermione threw herself at him, pulling him into an embrace and crying into his shoulder. "I don't deserve you." she sobbed.
"It's me that doesn't deserve you." Ron insisted, enjoying one last moment with Hermione in his arms. He stroked her hair gently. "Remus can't come between our friendship. I won't let him," Ron vowed.
"You'll always have me as a friend." Hermione assured him as she pulled away.
Ron got to his feet and grabbed her cold mug of coffee, placing it into the sink. "So, do I need to find a place to sleep?" He asked.
He glanced over his shoulder at her silence, taking in her red face with resignation. "I guess that answers that." He sighed. "Do you think it's best that you jump in another relationship, live with someone so soon?"
Hermione blushed. "It's not like that. Remus has a spare bedroom. We're not...sharing a bed. At least not right away."
Ron wanted to smile smugly at that, but he simply nodded. "Makes sense. So...are you going to start moving your stuff over right away? Or just taking a bag?"
"Just a bag for now." Hermione fidgeted. "I guess I'll go get that now, and let you think."
Ron nodded, watching as she started out of the room. She paused in the doorway, looking back at him with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Ron. You don't know how much it means to me, that we can still be friends."
Ron sighed again as she disappeared around the corner. He sat back down at the table, idly stirring his cereal as he thought. This moment might have been inevitable, but it still hurt more than he expected. He eyed the forgotten velvet box with wry amusement, picking it up and sliding it into his pocket. The funny thing was, Lavender had actually helped him pick the ring, though it had been months ago. Ron wondered if he'd asked her then, if her answer might have been different. He liked to think it would have been. But he wasn't blind, even if he'd been foolish. Hermione had always liked Professor Lupin more than she should. The crush had always been just under the surface, growing into something deeper as time went on. Ron figured he should be grateful for the time he'd had with Hermione. But moving on wouldn't be easy.
Hermione was grateful that Ron had taken it so well, despite his botched attempt to propose. He'd thrown her for a loop with that one, and she was still incredulous as to how he thought she'd ever say yes, especially after the night before. Her heart was just a little broken, which surprised her. She didn't love Ron, not in the romantic sense. But he was her best friend, would always be her best friend alongside Harry. It hadn't been easy to hurt him, but she truly believed that they could move on from this, and one day things might be easier between them again.
Remus was waiting for her, Teddy in his arms when she got home. Home. It seemed an apt description as she took Teddy into her arms. He babbled about his day, not seeming to find it odd that his 'Mione was now living with them. Remus had explained what he could to the boy, only four years old. Teddy had simply nodded, accepting, as only a child could, the major change with ease.
"How did it go?" Remus asked, kissing her forehead softly.
"Better than I thought it would." Hermione wrapped her free arm around him and squished Teddy between them, burying her face in his shoulder. "It still hurt."
"Of course it did," Remus confirmed. "You two mean so much to each other."
Hermione peeked up at him. "That doesn't bother you?"
Remus hesitated. "There will always be a side of me that will hate the sight of you near another man, either physically or emotionally. But I trust you. I love you. I know where your heart lies."
Hermione lifted her lips to his, desperate to show him how much his assurance meant to her. It was only when Teddy squeaked indignantly that she pulled away.
"I love you, Remus. You're the only man that occupies that part of my heart."
Remus beamed, laughing softly as Teddy squirmed to be put down. When Hermione set him on his feet, he wrapped his small arms around her legs.
"Love you, 'Mione." He gave his father's legs equal affection. "Love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, Teddy." Hermione wiped joyful tears from her eyes as she took one of Teddy's hands, Remus taking the other. They walked into the house, the door shutting quietly behind them.
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