Hello
A/N: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP does. Also, I did not write "Hello." Adele co-wrote it with her producer, Greg Kurstin. Thanks! 3 Oh, BTW… This is my first attempt to write a songfic... Please be kind. :P Arigatou gozaimasu! XD
Whoever said it's always sunny in California must have only visited its deserts. The twenty-seven-year old bachelor thought as he adjusts the thermostat in his office. He returned to his leather chair and swiveled it around to face the window. It is gloomy outside. Most of his colleagues have left the office an hour ago, but he opted to stay late as usual. He can go home or arrive at the office anytime he wants since he's no longer required to report 8 hours a day, but he still chooses to go. After all, he has nothing else to do.
He had just begun typing on his laptop again when he was interrupted by a soft knock on the door.
"Come in." he said. The door opened and his secretary Mihara Chiharu stepped in. Her previously brown hair is now dyed black, but she still wears the same youthful smile.
"I will be leaving in a minute, Sir. Do you have any other requests or additional instructions you need me to tell the substitute secretary before I go?"
"I'll take care of that myself, Mihara-san. You don't need to worry about it." Syaoran closed the lid of his laptop and looked at Chiharu. "I wish you well on your trip. Maldives is a wonderful place."
"Thank you very much, Sir. I greatly appreciate your kindness."
"Please extend my regards to your husband, Yamazaki-san. It has been a while since we last see each other."
"Yes, Sir. I believe it was the day before you left Tomoeda. Everyone was so surprised, especially Sakura-chan—" Chiharu abruptly interrupted her statement and covered her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Sir. I shouldn't have—"
"It's okay." Syaoran interrupted. "It's getting late, Mihara-san. Your flight is in five hours. Your husband must be worried waiting for you now."
"Hai. I'm so sorry again, Sir." Chiharu bowed. She was about to close the door when Syaoran called her again, "Yes, Sir?"
"Congratulations on your wedding. Takashi… I mean Yamazaki-san is a lucky man. I'm so sorry I couldn't come."
"I understand you completely, Sir… and thank you."
"You may go now."
Chiharu bowed again and closed the door behind her when she left.
Syaoran stared at the closed door for a few seconds. Ever since he hired Chiharu as his secretary, he knew she has been avoiding having this awkward conversation with him. There were countless times when he felt tempted to ask Chiharu about his ex-girlfriend—no scratch that—Sakura wasn't even her girlfriend. They didn't put a label on it. At the time, it seemed like the best thing to do. She was special to him. He was special to her. Labels didn't matter.
That was stupid.
He lifted the lid of his laptop once again and logged in to his Facebook account. There were numerous posts in his newsfeed, but he couldn't find what he was looking for. She seldom updates her wall. He typed her name on the search box, fingers automatically pressing each letter of her name with familiarity. He was greeted by the cherry blossoms on her cover photo and an outdated photo. Her timeline is filled with pictures of cats, trees, dogs, and what-nots, but there are no personal updates. It was just like her not to disclose anything personal on social media… or maybe he just didn't make the cut for the list of friends who can view her private posts.
[Hello, it's me...
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet,
to go over everything...
They say that time's supposed to heal ya,
but I ain't done much healing.]
_flashback_
"Li Syaoran!" Mizuki Kaho, their teacher called. Syaoran immediately turned around to face his instructor in front. All eyes are on him. "You have to pay attention in my class, Li-kun, or I'll ask Nakuru-sensei to teach you baton-twirling instead."
Syaoran's face grew hot as the others laughed in chorus. He scratched his head apologetically and stared at the floor. Mizuki resumed her discussion and Syaoran tried his best to focus.
"Couldn't get your eyes off her, Syaoran-kun?" Takashi teased. Syaoran tried to hit him, but Takashi managed to dodge, so he accidentally hit another unsuspecting classmate instead.
"LI SYAORAN! That's it! Come with me." Mizuki walked towards the exit with Syaoran following closely behind. They made their way to the group of baton-twirlers who were practicing their toss.
"Good morning, Mizuki-san and Li-kun, what can I do for you?" Nakuru Akizuki asked cheerfully.
"Someone from my class is so interested in your activities, Nakuru-san. Do you mind if he joins you for today?" Mizuki said. Nakuru's eyes glittered in amusement.
"Really, now? I didn't know you're captivated by the beauty of this art, Li-kun. I thought you're more into martial arts?" Nakuru feigned surprise. All the girls in the group are now looking at them in curiosity, "Oh, but who am I to say no? Of course, you may join us. I have an extra baton on the bench. I'll get it for you… Perhaps we can start from the techniques on how to properly sway your hips?"
Syaoran's face turned beet red in humiliation. He dared to steal a glance at Sakura who's biting her lip, desperate to suppress a smile.
_end of flashback_
[Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
when we were younger and free...
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.]
_flashback_
"So, what is she to you?" Mei Ling asked him. They just finished practicing martial arts with Wei in their private dojo.
"I don't know." He replied. He took a glass of water from the tray set on the table and started drinking.
"You know that's a stupid answer." His cousin said. "I am confused. Chances are, she's more confused than me about your status." she began her cool-down exercises a few paces away. He can sense irritation and disappointment in her voice.
"Maybe… we're close to dating. I don't know."
"You're hopeless. If you're not sure what she is to you… You better let her go. She's not gonna wait forever for you to make up your mind."
_end of flashback_
[There's such a difference between us
and a million miles...]
He logged out. This is driving him crazy.
Syaoran got up and started pacing around his office. He feels restless. His head throbbing as millions of questions fill his mind… Is she still mad at me? Can she still remember me? Is she still thinking about me?
Probably not. She isn't that stupid. She must have moved on already. God. Seven years. He didn't miss a birthday. Old-fashioned, yes, but he never forgot to send her a birthday card. He also sent her a Christmas and New Year's card two years ago. If she wanted to make up, she should have replied to any of those… even just a plain thank you or acknowledgment… but she didn't.
Maybe she doesn't care anymore. Maybe… Maybe she already found someone else? Mei Ling might be right. She won't wait forever. Why would she? He didn't even say goodbye!
[Hello from the other side...
I must have called a thousand times...
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done,
but when I call you never seem to be home.]
_flashback_
"Ne, Li-kun. Are you sure you won't tell her you're leaving?" Takashi said while gently lowering Syaoran's luggage at the foot of the stairs. Tomorrow is their graduation day, but he won't be able to attend because his flight to USA is late that night. "You know that'll break her heart."
Syaoran didn't respond. He doesn't know what to say.
"Did you even tell her how you feel about her?"
Again, he didn't respond.
"You can call her. She will understand." Takashi took out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and offered it to Syaoran.
_end of flashback_
[Hello from the outside...
At least I can say that I've tried
to tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart,
but it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore]
That must be it! Maybe she has a boyfriend now. Someone whom she can really say is "hers." Someone who knows what he wants in his life. Someone who won't make her feel special, then suddenly leaves her hanging… Someone who won't leave her without an explanation. Someone who won't hurt her. Someone who will take care of her. He must have hurt her pretty badly. God. He really is an idiot.
[Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself. I'm sorry...
I hope that you're well.
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
And it's no secret that the both of us
are running out of time...]
Syaoran went back to his chair and logged in his account again. Sakura's wall stares back at him as if mocking his cowardice. Seven long years have passed, but here he is still shaking in fear.
Why can't he just forget about her? Why does he still care?
[So hello from the other side (other side)...
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)...
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done,
but when I call you never seem to be home]
Could it be… that after all this years… he still loves her?
[Hello from the outside (outside)...
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)...
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart,
but it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore...
Anymore...]
But… It's useless now, isn't it? Especially if she already has someone else… She could even be married now! They're only twenty-five, but some of their friends have already tied the knot. Who knows if she decided to marry early?
Maybe she isn't married. If she is, he would've heard about it from Chiharu… or from someone else. No one dared to talk to him about Sakura, though. Maybe they decided not to tell him. Maybe they tried not to bring it up.
The white cursor on his screen hovered over the message button on her wall. He has to do something now. Should he send her a message? She appears offline now, but she'll probably see his message when she logs in… Right? If he sends her a message, what will he say? Hello? It has been a while since we last talked? Hey?
Syaoran grabbed his hair in frustration and shut his eyes. He let his elbows rest on his desk as he mulled over his present situation.
How coward can he be? He needs to be a man. If she has moved on and found someone new, he also has to move on. If she hasn't… well, he just needs to face her anger and apologize. He's done asking what-if's.
He opened his eyes once more and looked at the screen. She's still offline. He clicked on the message button and watch as the caret blinked back at him on the text field.
"h-e-l-l-o-.-."
He drew a deep breath and pressed the Enter key. The message vanished from the text field and appeared on the chat box. He slowly exhaled and slumped back in his seat. He finally did it. He balled his fists and pressed them against his eyes. He was so relieved that he didn't notice the green circle before Sakura's name. Moments later, something else appeared beneath his message…
"Seen 9:39PM"
[Hello from the other side (other side)...
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)...
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done,
but when I call you never seem to be home...]
*plop*
Syaoran jumped in his seat and checked the screen upon hearing the chat notification. He felt his heart skipped a beat. It was as if all his nerves decided to leave the other parts of his body and transfer to his chest. He couldn't feel anything else, but the banging of his heart against it. It is unbelievable how two letters can make you feel like riding a crazy roller coaster.
"hi"
[Hello from the outside (outside)...
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)...
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart,
but it don't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.]
-END-
A/N: Woooh! DONE! :3 Arigatou gozaimasu~! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It has been years since the last time I wrote (and finished) a story, so please. .. be kind. :D