Okay, so this was the result of a bored afternoon a while back and I actually handwrote this first. I'm not sure whether it will remain a one-shot or not yet, but enjoy nonetheless. And despite the title, it is infact a CJ and Toby fic.
Prologue/Background
Josh and Donna had waited until after the 2010 election to get married, despite being together ever since '06 and having a child. Their wedding was thankfully a double celebration as Santos was re-elected, and months after the Bartlet library opening the gang were reunited once more.
In an interesting turn of events, CJ had divorced Danny and was now raising their child alone. Although unclear to the common observer, their last few months of marriage hadn't been pleasant, a jealous Danny preventing CJ from talking to Toby all the time. "He's on the other side of the country, CJ! Leave him be, move on with your life!" were the echoes of one night's row. Once the divorce was final, she sought solace in the voice of her best friend and tread the waters Danny had been so sensitive about. They were in frequent contact over the phone; CJ ultimately forcing Toby to attend Josh and Donna's wedding, dying to see him in person for the first time since the Library event.
It was Josh and Donna's wedding reception: the event was in full swing, the happy couple circulating and everyone enjoying the fabulous food and music. Sam was sat with Toby, whose eyes were transfixed on CJ dancing with Jed across the room. He, Sam, suddenly felt like he had been transported back 10 years and they weren't at a wedding reception, but at one of the countless White House events they had attended. It was the worst kept secret in Washington that the Communications Director only had eyes for the Press Secretary back then, and in Sam's eyes, it seemed that nothing had changed but their job titles.
He decided to brave upon this territory with his old boss, thankful for the beers he had consumed which meant he was prepared for the inevitable backlash:
"What are you doing?" he decided to start with an innocent question.
"Nothing." Toby replied, eyes not moving from CJ.
"Doesn't look like it." Sam retorted.
"What?" he turned briefly.
"You're watching, CJ." Sam pointed out.
Toby knew Sam was being deliberately inquisitive and sighed deeply. "What is it, Sam?"
He was grateful for the ease with which he could slip into what he wanted to say.
"Toby, you've been in love with her for over 10 years, probably longer. From the moment you first brought her onto the campaign, we knew you worshipped her. In everything – the campaign, the administration, now – it's obvious. No-one looks at a woman he's just friends with like that. We all figured something would've happened by now. Hell, we all wondered how on earth she married Danny because you two are meant to be! Even when you were with Andi, I knew CJ was the one you were meant to be with and I know you know that. She looks at you the same, you know? She loves you and she settled for Danny, but that's over now and you two are flirting like the old days. I don't know what, if anything, did ever happen with you guys. No it must have," He paused ever so and continued, "but I do know that you need to confront your feelings and finally set out to do what you ought to have done a long time ago."
Toby sat in shock as Sam's mini speech drew to a close. He knew he was right but for once in his life, he couldn't conjure up the words to defend himself or say anything to confirm Sam's words.
"Go after her, Toby." Sam nodded towards CJ finishing up her dance. He patted Toby's shoulder as he rose and sought out a crowd to mingle with, leaving Toby nursing his scotch in disbelief at what had occurred.
"Hey, Tobus." CJ came and sat beside him, clutching a glass of white wine and smiling with an air reminiscent of her youth, slightly naïve to the challenges of her future.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" she pondered, noticing how deep in thought he was.
He snapped out of his daze and looked up at her with a twinkle in his eyes. "Uh, nothing."
"Don't lie." She grinned, not backing down.
"I'm not." He shrugged, turning his attention to the scotch in his glass.
"Aw come on, entertain me. I love Josh and Donna I really do, but for some reason their crowd aren't doing it for me tonight." She nudged him slightly to look up and gestured to the room around them to make her point.
"They're not a band." He said, now looking back at his drink.
"I know." She smiled.
"Fancy going somewhere quieter?" he asked, the hum of the room intensifying as the reception band moved into a livelier tempo.
"Yeah sure." She replied softly and allowed him to guide her out with a hand placed lightly at the small of her back.
Sam smiled to himself as he noticed the pair leaving, his pep talk clearly having somewhat an influence.
They ended up on a bench outside the main halls of the reception, both sitting with a comfort between them that had became so familiar over the course of their years that it was like a natural intuition.
"Sam had a chat with me earlier." Toby declared, unsure of how to proceed.
"Trying to inject some sunny California excitement back into your life?" she giggled, having realised herself how much she had missed Sam's disposition.
"Something like that." He muttered, shifting closer to her.
"Abbey wants me to get 'back in the game'." CJ announced suddenly to him.
"Back in the game?" Toby's eyes widened.
"Yeah, to 'revive my libido.'" she half chuckled, the drink was slowly hitting her.
Toby felt an urge to outpour the emotion that only she evoked in him, maybe slightly intoxicated himself, but he bit his lip as he searched for something less overwhelming to say.
"Is that something you'd want to do?" he asked her, afraid of her answer.
"I don't know." She whispered, in her heart knowing the person she wanted to be with was the man sitting beside her.
"Can I tell you what I think?" Toby wasn't quite sure if he wanted to be as frank as he had earlier hoped. She nodded to indicate her desire for him to continue.
"I think you're a beautiful, smart, deep woman, CJ, and you can surely have any man you set your heart to," He paused to take in her blush, clueless to the actual reasoning why, and continued, "but don't just fall into the arms of anyone. You have to be true to yourself because you deserve something brilliant and I don't know if I could watch you settle for anything less than that." He wasn't sure if he trusted his own words, as really he would only want her to be with him.
CJ adored this side of him, the protective side that asserted his admiration for her. She felt something in his tone that was subtly suggestive.
"Would you like to be that person?" she spoke under her breath, almost hoping he wouldn't hear.
Toby's eyes trailed her face, "What do you think Sam was talking to me about?" He noticed the passion in her expression and didn't let her answer, instead he pressed on.
"I love you y'know, CJ. I have for as long as I can remember and I don't know how or when it started, but you're the only constant in my life and I adore you so much. I know you probably don't want to hear this but it kills me seeing you with men who only see you for your beauty and don't realise your potential and the worth of your true self, especially Danny." he was surprised when she nodded softly as opposed to winced at that comment. "I'm sorry to scare you and I fully understand if you want to remain as just friends if this isn't what you want from me." He cleared his throat and wished he had a drink in his hands. He saw her eyes glisten with tears as she looked down, struggling to compose her response.
She took his hands and laced them with her own in her lap. "Toby, are you kidding me? I love you and I have for a long time. What you made me feel, it always frightened me. I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Danny, and the more I realised this, the more I retreated because I couldn't bear to lose you over something I thought was impossible. I wish you told me sooner…" her voice trailed off and he wiped the solitary tear that fell down her cheek with the curve of his thumb.
"There was never a time. I know we've had the odd drunken thing but I didn't want you to think I was, I don't know, blinded by sex." She laughed at his nervous nature, bumbling cutely, a side she wished to see more of.
"How could I ever think that about you? You're so profound and sincere, not like other men." A genuine smile crept across her face as she spoke.
"Yes but I felt like it would be an empty appeasement for something you'd never want, not take further than uncomplicated passion." He sighed.
"Never." She grinned and squeezed his hand. "But we don't need to dwell on that now, Tobus."
"I guess not." He squeezed back and looked up with eyes of darkness that yet held so much light for her.
She leaned in to kiss him softly, but he took control of the kiss, allowing years of anticipation and hurt to melt into the moment between them.