Author's note: I don't even know. The idea just popped out and I wrote it. I don't own Hetalia and reviews are apreciated. Also title and summary is fail.

Warnings: suicide, character death, alcoholism,OOCness, possible grammar mistakes and horrible writing.

Mentioned: PruHun, Spamano, FraSey

Main:

Arthur - England,

Gilbert - Prussia,

Matthias - Denmark

Characters:

Francis - France,

Alfred - America,

Matthew - Canada,

Kiku - Japan,

Emilio - Portugal,

Lovino - Romano,

Antonio - Spain,

Feliciano - Italy,

Elizaveta - Hungary,

Roderich - Austria,

Lukas - Norway,

Berwald - Sweden,

Emil - Iceland,

Tino - Finland,

Abel - Netherlands.

Ivan - Russia

Michaelle - Seychelles

"Everyone is here?" the police officer looked around the room. He received nods from the 15 guy standing around him. "Then please take a seat." He paused a little to wait for them. "You may not know why exactly are you here, but there is no need to be nervous. I assure you know Arthur Kirkland or Gilbert Beilshmidt or Matthias Densen, am I right?"

"Yes. We know them. Why do you ask? They did something bad?" asked a blond with violet eyes worriedly. If the officer was well-informed the boy name was Tino.

"No. They didn't. And seeing this reaction, I guess they could get into trouble."

"Oh, no. At least Matthias. I mean, yeah he always got in trouble, but he never intends to do something bad" explained Tino, while other 4 blonds nodded.

"Neither Arthur" added loudly a boy with dirty blond hair.

"Well, Gilbert was a troublemaker, but he never did anything really serious" agreed a guy with brown hair.

"Well, yes. You're not here, because they committed crime. Don't worry about that. Then I assume you didn't hear, that they are dead." The whole room seemed to shock.

"Wha-at? How is that even possible?" reacted quickly Alfred, the guy with a dirty blond hair.

"Well, Arthur Kirkland died by intoxication. He drank too much. Not long after the other two committed suicide."

"What! That's impossible!" came the reaction.

"But it's not. I gathered you here, because you were mentioned in their suicide note. Or whatever is this. I don't even know."

"Huh? It doesn't make sense!"

"Maybe if we read it, it will" came a faint voice from the guy who looked like Alfred.

"Yeah, the guy with the stuffed polar bear is right" said the police officer. "Are you ready?" They nodded, so he started reading it.

Dear the one, who find this fucking letter,

My name is Arthur Kirkland and I assume I'm dead. So is Gilbert Beilshmidt and Matthias Densen. If anyone would be interested in my life story, what I really doubt, I write it down here. And I write down the other's as well.

Let's start with who I am. As I mentioned before my name is Arthur Kirkland, the 5th son of my parents. I live in a pretty bad district, but not that horrible. More fun facts about me: I am an alcoholic and I have suicidal depression (so does the other two). I guess, that's why I'm dead. I probably died by intoxication and my friends committed suicide because of that.

"It clearly makes no sense! Matthias was too cheerful to be anyway close to depression" said one of the blonds indignantly. Everyone was quite surprised, that the stoic boy suddenly started shouting. The officer give him a disappointed glare, so he sat back. The man continued to read.

So to explain everything, I start with my childhood.

You see, my parents weren't the richest, more likely, we were poor. Neither my mom, neither my dad had a degree. It was hard for them to find a job. They didn't want us, their kids to make the same mistake, so they always made us study and study. It wouldn't be a problem, if they didn't cut me away from any kind of fun. I sat in the room I shared with my brothers and studied all day. I never went out anywhere. I was scolded, if I dared to leave my place. To be honest I wanted to be their perfect child, and tried everything to achieve that. But I had 4 older brothers, who were much more skilled than me. Nothing was enough. My brothers also, didn't help me at all. They bullied me. So, yes I had a rough childhood. I never had friends because I didn't have any social experience.

That's changed when I met Gilbert and Matthias. If you look at it I was a nerd, Gilbert a delinquent and Matthias a weirdo. On the face of it, we had nothing in common, except all the three of us were loners. We were always grouped together, so we had time to get to know each other. It turned out we both like alcohol, rock and we both hate our teachers, class, family. We got along. We still get along.

I learnt about their families. Gilbert's mother died. His father raised him and his little brother, Ludwig. Ludwig was also better at everything than Gilbert, therefore their father preferred him. He started neglecting Gilbert. He didn't pay his clothes and others. So, Gilbert was quickly judged to be a hooligan. He was treated bad by everyone without reason. And if no one excepts you more, you yourself stop caring about it. He was that extremely cocky and arrogant problem child, that everyone hated.

"Oh, my" came a shocked reaction from a few people. "I didn't know this."

Gilbert and I were at least tormented, because of a reason. Yeah, a really foolish reason, but a reason. In Matthias case, he was abused, because his parents had some built up tension to get rid of. Despite this he was way too cheerful. Later we found out, he didn't feel the pain anymore.

One of the blonds, according to the files, Lukas dropped the cup he was holding. He stared in front of him with shocked eyes.

And then we were lumped together. We hung out in school, when we were in. We skipped most of the classes. You know what was funny? We never got in trouble for it! The teachers didn't even realized that I was missing and didn't care at all, when it came to Gilbert. Matthias made sure his parents never received the notices. He was good in it!

Don't worry, we never committed serious crimes. Just a little vandalism and underage drinking. No drugs or such. Tough we had some fights, but nobody really wanted to pick fight with us. We were kind of freaks. I was obsessed with black magic, Matthias with Vikings and Gilbert, actually everything connected to war and military. But we did some other things too. For example, once I stole my brother's camera and we went out to snap some pictures about dead birds. Matthias had great sense to photographing.

Next to the paper there was an enclosed picture of a dead pigeon. The picture was amusing, but slightly creepy. Seriously, who did such a thing?

But most of the time we went to an old building and listened music loudly. I usually wrote poetry or read something, Matthias sketched something or played with a camera, Gilbert played on his flute. Oh, and we drank. A lot. I think I spent 40 per cent of my high school years drunk.

To our surprise, we somehow made it too college. I still don't understand how, but we made it. Then we made other friends. Other friends we could never be truly honest with. Also the depression stayed. None of us actually cared about life anymore. I guess we stopped it a long time ago. But, I think no one would ever guessed, that the invincible British gentleman, the extremely arrogant German and the always happy Dane dealt with depression.

I can thank that for dropping most of my bad habits. But, honestly every Friday I was drunk. Next to me Gilbert and Matthias also drunk. Seriously, I love these guys, I would never be able to live without them. And at least it's mutual. We had been through too much together.

So this is our story. Give our stuff to some charity and don't bother with funerals. Most of our organs are usable, except the liver. Just give it to someone.

And our last words for our friends, which we never told them.

From Arthur to:

Francis: You know what! You look gorgeous! Hella gay, but gorgeous. But you're a flirty demon, and if you don't change, you won't be taken seriously.

"What?"

Alfred: I should say that you're not the hero, or something like that. But I won't. I tell you one thing: the world isn't black and white.

"Huh?"

Matthew: Just please speak out! You're badass, but you never show it.

Kiku: Stop isolating yourself. It never ends good!

Emilio: I don't have any advice to you. Maybe just your ridiculous hairstyle, but nothing else. You're a cool friend.

The guy with the pony tail laughed nervously.

From Gilbert to:

Antonio: Antonio, last advice! Pay 90 per cent of your attention to Lovino, or 0. Choose.

The guy who was really similar to Emilio looked at one of the twins confused.

Lovino: Go to a psychologist. It's okay to be depressed. And don't forget you can be helped. You're not me.

The twin with the lighter brown hair looked at the other worriedly: "Fratello".

Feliciano: You know, you won't get anything, if you don't give anything.

"Ve?"

Roderich: You're the weakest person, I've ever known! I despise you! How could you put your hands on her?

"What! I don't understand!"

Elizaveta: "I love you! I still don't understand, why are you started dating with that piano pansy!"

The girl stared at Roderich with wide eyes.

From Matthias to:

Tino: You're a sweet guy. I wish you the best.

Tino smiled.

Berwald: You really like to hit me, right? Well, I guess you'd never hit others. I always wondered, how did I earned your hatred.

The really tall blond glared or who knows what he did, certainly he wasn't happy.

Emil: I know you're lonely. But sometimes I feel you don't even want to socialize.

The silver haired boy blinked.

Lukas: I highly suggest you to find another hobby! Hitting other people from hobby is more sick, than drawing dead birds!

Lukas still stared with wide eyes. The officer wondered if he even heard that.

Abel: Once money will ruin your life. You should start caring about it. And I say that to you and I don't care about my life 24/7!

Silence filled the room.

"Well, that's it" informed them the police officer. "I just that you should now this. You can go now." He stood up and walked out, leaving the shocked kids there.

Francis sat on his bed, Arthur's words echoing in his head. He missed Arthur already. He never noticed anything. Same about Gil. He wasn't affectionate enough. Well, the last he can do is to vow Arthur's advice. He dialed Michelle's phone number. She was the girl he last had a date and she was actually really interesting.

"Hallo?" he heard her voice.

"Oh, hello, mon cher! I thought that maybe we should go to another date!"

"Really! I would love that! Everyone said, there is no way you would ask me out again."

"But I did."

Alfred still couldn't believe what he learnt about his mentor. Arthur no certainly wasn't on the good side. But neither on the bad. Maybe it is possible that someone both good and bad?

Well, Alfred was sure, that he could make these people completely good. Maybe, he should try it with someone. The first person who popped in his head was Ivan. Actually, he never saw Ivan with anyone who wasn't afraid of him. Maybe it worth a try.

Matthew decided. He will stand up for his rights. You're badass Matthew! You can do it! he told to himself. Maybe it's possible. To stand out from the crowd. 'cause I'm badass!

Kiku looked around in his room. I need to leave this place. I have to move on. That's all.

Emilio was incredibly sad. His good friend died. And had so many secrets, what he didn't know about. But at least he was considered a good friend. He needs to know more about Arthur!

He stepped to the drawer and opened it. There was a bunch of papers. Emilio knew these were Arthur's novellas. To learn more about him it's a great opportunity. Even if these novellas probably depressed and creepy, he'll give them a try.

"Lovino!" shouted Antonio after the moody Italian.

"What?"snapped the mentioned boy.

"Go out with me!"

"What?" came a surprised reply."You mean it?"

"Of course!"

"Then fine... I'll be your boyfriend." Hearing this the Spaniard smiled brightly.

"Hallo?" came a sad voice through the phone. "It's Ludwig Beilshmidts' phone."

"Ve! Hello, Ludwig! I heard you brother they. I feel sorry."

"Ah... Don't worry. I just... I just feel guilty. I never noticed it before."

"Hey, I'll go to your home and make some pasta!"

Roderich didn't understand Gilbert. It surprised him that Gilbert composed music. He had found some music sheets and he had decided to play. It was beautiful. Horribly sad, but beautiful! What a hidden talent!

Elizaveta was furious. How could Gilbert thought that she was dating with Roderich? He didn't noticed that Elizaveta was madly in love with Gilbert? And know all her chance gone wasted.

Tino looked around Matthias stuff ruefully. So sad. So sad story. And he, Tino, was an ignorant idiot. He didn't noticed it. It was quite obvious.

He picked up Matthias' sketchbook and flipped the papers. Beautiful drawings, even if they were creepy. If he would catch this enormous sign.

Berwald extremely hated himself now. He didn't hated the Dane. He was just so... So bright! Berwald thought that Matthias didn't know anything about struggles. This way proven wrong and the Swede was left here with guilt. Just guilt.

When Emil arrived home, he just sat down and started staring at the wall. He should try being more sociable. But he was afraid. He was always alone. Matthias helped him a lot, but Emil thought he didn't understand anything. But it wasn't true. Emil was just sociable inexperienced. Next time he will make it sure to notice, before it happens.

Lukas was curled up in Matthias' bed. He missed him already. The idiotic smile. That bright smile. Even if they were fake... Lukas doubted that they were fake. They were too real.

But that's not the real problem. He had hurt someone who was abused when he was younger. Lukas was a horrible person. A real monster.

Abel lighted his cigarette. He felt guilty. He was the one who had given Matthias the pills. For money. He wasn't allowed to do such a thing! What was he thinking! It was absurd. Matthias was right. One day money will ruin his life. And he didn't want that to happen.

The police officer put down the paper. He smiled. He had minus 3 troublemaker. And more.