I should be working on other stories, but, you know how plot-bunnies can be!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not trying to make any profit. All rights to Marvel. The mistakes, however, are mine

Barton held her. "Nat, Nat! Come one, don't leave me."

Tears built up in his eyes as he watched his whole life fade away. Her precious sun colored hair was drenched with her own blood. Her abdomen was covered in his own blood. That hadn't mattered as nearly as much though. Because Nat was dying, hope or not, he couldn't do anything this time for her. He couldn't remember a time in his life that had hurt as bad as he was feeling at the moment. Watching her color drain away from her already pale face broke his heart more than he could have ever imagined. She wasn't supposed to ever be able to affect him like this.

Eventually the tears spilled over. There was only so much pain that he could take, only so much injury. He gripped the back of her head like a life-line and pulled her closer so that he could cry into her hair. He wanted to remember the most of her while he could. Before the doctors ruined everything he wanted to memorize her smell, her shape, and everything else. If he wasn't ever going to see her again he wanted to be able to at least be able to feel her again. It was a small reassurance but she was his sanity. He didn't know what to do without her.

He hadn't remembered falling asleep but large, gruff, hands began to pull him away from her. They lifted her from his grasp and hurt her again. Screaming, he lashed out. The pain in his chest he ignored, as well as the clammy feeling of his skin. He wanted her. She was his life-line. She was his sunlight. Nothing, no force on Earth, was going to take her away again.

With renewed vigor he lunged at the assailants, landing several successful hits despite his delirious state. Grunts were the only confirmation he received that any of the punches rang true. That was good enough to go on. He made his way through seas like this often. When sounds, or sight, were the only senses one had to rely on. Once, and only once, was he reduced completely to only feeling. She had been there. Another man grunted in pain as he reached her. Scooping her up in his arms he held her close as they called out to him and tried to pull him away again. He screamed at them. Told them to go away, Thor got through first.

"Friend Clint, please. It is raining. Surely you feel the cold?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing them to go away. He fought it. Clinging to her in a desperate panic he fought all touch of reality. He felt her hair again. Smelled he scent again. Tried his best to remember, but others were breaking through as well. "Clint!" Banner's voice was panicked and he could barely feel the touch against his throat for a pulse. "Clint, please." Stark was begging too? This was new.

Then her touch landed on his shoulder, and he whirled around to find that she had gone from his arms and was standing before him. Clothes a pure white, skin pale; her hair was redder than he had ever remembered. She stood poised. Waiting for an attack, until their eyes met, and her mask crumpled. The only way that it had ever been for him, much like Tony and Pepper's relationship.

Risking the illusion he ran forward and hugged her on her knees like he did when she had been pregnant. "Nat," he begged, "Don't leave me here. I can't do it. I need you."

Soft fingers started to smooth out his un-washed hair and eventually pulled his face up to meet the beaming expression of hers. "You can." She said. He went to interrupt but a finger on the lips shushed him. "Clint, your friends need you. Our child needs you. Don't worry about the dead. Remember you training? Care for dead but protect the living? You're letting yourself down, Clint."

He hung his head against her knees, not able to look her in the eyes, but she bent down to his level and put his head on her chest. "Baby," she softly spoke, "I love you. I know I am not dead. But stop searching for a while. Come look for me when the baby is older. When she can help too."

He sucked in a heavy breath as sobs wracked through his chest, "But they all think you're dead."

A small laugh escaped her, "Clint, you know I had to leave." Pulling his face to where it looked eye to eye with hers she put on her real smile and cupped his cheek with her hand, "I'll love you forever and always. But I gave you up. Go make a life. A real one."

She began to fade and he started to panic. "Tasha, Tasha no! Don't leave me again!"

He watched her fade, her sweet smile turning to a look of pure sadness. And he gave in.

Defeated he let himself experience the cold rain. Let Thor carry him to the car. Let Steve help him get dressed when they got home. Even let Banner tuck him in and Tony turn out the lights. He let them whisper about how, even three years later, he was still not getting over it. He was positive Steve mentioned therapy. None of that mattered.

When the baby started to cry for her daddy to come and get her but soft Russian singing could be hear, he smiled. She was dead to them, but she was till the sunlight to him.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE

Thanks so much,

Hawk