Prelude to a Fall
(sequel to Prelude to a
Kiss)
Author: Anakin's
Angel
Rated: PG13 for slight sexuality and violence
Disclaimer: SW
and all related characters are NOT MINE!
Notes: This is the sequel to "Prelude to a Kiss". It's a
lot longer, but here it is!
Website:
No Ordinary Love
"Well you seem happier this morning, Amidala." Sabé teased, flopping down onto her bed. The girls shared a room since the quarters were enlarged, with the others just outside. It raised a few eyebrows, since the handmaidens were not supposed to be 'hanging around' with the Queen. However, after 11 years in the Queen's service, they were a very close-knit group of friends.
Amidala smiled and sighed contentedly. "I am, I suppose." That kiss was enough to make anyone happier. Sabé launched a pillow at her. "What do mean, you suppose? I saw you dancing with... what's his face, I think he likes you."
Amidala nearly choked on the tea she was drinking. "Who, Degan? No, he definitely not my type." Now, Anakin...
"Well, I guess. I mean, I saw him before he left and he looked a little starstruck. I just assumed-"
Amidala walked over to her bureau, stopping Sabé mid-sentence. Here she kept all of her most personal of treasures. She presented Sabé a nearly-faded holo taken at the peace parade a decade before. "What's with this?"
"Sabé, do you remember the little boy in that picture?" She pointed at the nine-year old version of Anakin. He was surrounded by all the handmaidens, and herself. Sabé shrugged. "I think so, what was his name? Ana... something?"
"Anakin Skywalker, yes."
"And this means...?"
"He was your 'escort' last night." She used her fingers to emphasize the word. Sabé looked puzzled for a moment and then squealed. "Are you serious? That little boy is now a six-foot knockout?"
A smug grin graced the Queen's lips. "Yes. I do not believe that we failed to recognize him all day."
"Well, sith! He looks nothing like the pedunkel in this picture-"
"Sabé, what did I tell you about your swearing?"
The handmaiden waved her hand around, scowling. "Yeah, yeah. So, what does this have to do with anything? Unless..."
Amidala turned her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. "Unless what?"
"Unless, of course, he's the reason behind the smile I haven't seen in six months. If that's the case, carry on my friend."
Amidala tugged at the hem of her nightshirt, suddenly shy. "We talked... a lot. I told him about what happened... to Rabé, and he held me when I cried," She rolled onto her back, pulling the covers over her head. "I don't know what it was, Sabé! I felt so safe with him, like nothing could reach me when I was in his arms. He was sweet, and gentle..."
"And a good kisser?" Sabé asked, pulling back the covers. "Come on, you can tell me!"
"And a good kisser. I really hadn't planned on getting to that point, but we were so close to each other and... there it was." She unconsciously touched her lips, as if remembering the softness of his kiss. She swore her lips still tingled.
"Hmm, does he have any single friends? What about the older one? Obi-Wan, was that his name?" Her eyes sparkled with mirth as Amidala groaned. "What? I'm entitled to look!"
As long as you look at the Master, my friend. "I'll put in a good word for you."
A knock at the door diverted their attention. Eirtaé walked in, carrying a data pad. "You have a private message from the Jedi. It's encoded, but he said you would know how to retrieve it?" She placed the pad on Amidala's nightstand, signaling Sabé to depart.
"Yeah, we should be going or... something. I will be back shortly." Sabé and Eirtaé made a hasty retreat then, leaving Amidala with her message.
She regarded the data pad for a moment before walking again to her bureau. Anakin had left her with a secret code of sorts before departing the last time he was here. The paper it was on was faded and a bit wrinkled, but still legible. She punched the code in the pad and waited for the words to appear.
****************************
Anakin and his master strolled through the sunlit gardens that bordered the Palace grounds. This was a part of Theed Palace that he hadn't had cause to visit last time. No, last time was a time of war. The weather was similar to the day previous, perhaps a bit chillier, and he was lucky to be dressed in his Jedi best. It's not just because Amidala finds me-
"The Queen seemed distressed last night. I sensed a disturbance inside her," Obi-Wan remarked, folding his hands into the folds of his robes.
Anakin sighed, not wanting to reveal too much. Ami had given him permission to tell Obi-Wan, knowing how close they were, but still. "There was an assassination attempt on her about half a year ago. She lost one of her Handmaidens." That skirted just above the surface.
Obi-Wan nodded, understanding his Padawan's need for privacy. He sensed that Anakin wished to tell him more, but he wasn't going to press the boy. "Her distress is understandable then. She does not have the ability to overcome her pain in the same way you do, Padawan."
Anakin hated when he did
that. It made the Jedi sound like heartless creatures who felt little, which
couldn't be further from the truth. "I barely knew the girl, Rabé her
name was, but I felt her loss through Amidala last night. As a result, Amidala
moved the remaining Handmaidens into her wing, insisting that they be assigned
protection
as well."
"And her staff, what do they think?"
The Padawan drew up his hood as a gusty wind blew past them. "She's convinced herself that they see her as insane. I haven't had the chance to speak to anyone as of yet, and I'm not certain that I should."
"No, it's best to stay out of that. So you said that she's been diagnosed, that must mean she's had session with a healer?" Both men nodded and smiled at some Naboo security as they passed.
"A healer, perhaps, but not a Jedi healer. I think it may help-"
Obi-Wan stopped, sighing loudly. "Anakin, the Council would never permit a Jedi Healer to treat her. And I know what you're thinking, but even if we could find someone to do it, I wouldn't risk their reputation with the Council."
How does he do that? "You know I love you, Master, but sometimes you can be...."
Obi-Wan laughed, nodding. "A real pain in the arse. Yes, Qui-Gon used to say the same exact thing." Funny how true it was, that. Obi-Wan was well regarded as a great Jedi, but sort of a... stick in the mud. Anakin had managed to loosen him up somewhat over the years, but he still had lots of room for improvement.
"As far as the diagnosis goes, I do believe that the healer was correct. Amidala does need help." Anakin sat down on a bench of warm rock, looking resignedly at his Master.
Both men failed to notice Amidala, tears streaking her pale face and running away.
*************************
Amidala raced around the Palace, bumping into a guard, and tumbling to the floor. She collapsed into a mess of tears and lilac synthsilk. Sabé, who'd witnessed the whole event, came running to her best friends aide; shouting for the guard to fetch the Palace healer. What on Naboo happened? She'd only been away from the Queen 1 standard hour!
Amidala huddled close to her friend, anguished that she allowed others to see her this way. She couldn't believe what Anakin had said: "...Amidala needs help." What would he know about it? He calls himself my friend, yet I haven't seen him in a decade!
No. That wasn't really fair, she supposed. It was just the vocalization of what she feared the most that was bothering her. She did need help, desperately. The stress of the past weekend, the ball, Anakin's reappearance... it was just too much. With bleary eyes she regarded Becaal, her private healer. Becaal's violet eyes spoke volumes as he leaned over to help her to her feet.
"Come now, Amidala. It's going to be okay." Becaal's melodious voice was like balm on her fractured psyche. She squeezed Sabé's hand once, signaling her to join them. Wherever Amidala went, her Handmaiden was never far behind. It was just their way.
When Amidala felt the softness of the healer's bed beneath her head, all thoughts of Anakin and everything else slowly faded.
...
Sabé, now at ease, raced around the gardens to where she had seen Anakin and his Master strolling. This is all his fault, I know it. She spotted them near Amidala's favorite fountain, chatting and laughing. Oblivious to the Queen's peril.
Red-faced and steaming, she walked right up to the upstart Jedi. "Are you happy now, you... you... Jedi?" Berating herself for her ill-chosen insult, she looked up into his cool blue eyes.
Anakin stepped back, shaking his head. "Sabé, slow down. I don't understand-"
A harsh laugh escaped the Handmaiden's lips. "That figures. Only a moron would have missed the signs!" She paced around in a tight circle, kicking stones along the path.
Anakin looked to his Master and shrugged. This time, Master, I have no idea... "We've established that I'm a moron, now tell me what's wrong!" He grabbed Sabé's wrist and stopped her perpetual pacing.
She glared back defiantly. "Fine! Amidala is with the healer, trying her best to overcome something you said. It's all your fault!" She pushed at him hard and wrestled her arm free.
Anakin looked as if he'd been struck. Me? What could she possibly...? One look at Obi-Wan and he knew. "Apparently our conversation wasn't exactly private, Padawan." Obi-Wan whispered.
Sabé rubbed at her wrist theatrically. It didn't hurt that bad, but he didn't need to know that. "That's right, Jedi. I knew you could get it!" The false cheerfulness in her voice made Anakin wince. "I heard you say that Amidala needs help, and if I heard you, so did she." She let that sink in before continuing.
"Everybody knows that she needs help, I've been trying for the greater part of a year to help her," she lowered her voice to a mere whisper. "But she does not need to be reminded of this fact by someone like you." She poked his tunic-clad chest for emphasis.
"What do you mean, someone like me? I know that I haven't been around, Sabé, but that doesn't mean I don't care for her. I wish that she didn't have to hear it that way, but if she's with the healer, than perhaps it's for the best." Anakin felt Obi-Wan's hand on his shoulder and he backed away slightly.
"You talk big, Anakin, but where will you be a month from now? Back on Coruscant, that's where. And she'll be here, trying to pick up the pieces you leave behind. Forget it, it's not worth it." Sabé walked away then, wiping her eyes.
Anakin sank to his bottom against the smooth rock. "She's right, you know. I don't know what I was thinking, kissing her like that."
Obi-Wan joined him, understanding the boy's anguish. "Kissed her, did you? Is that the latest in Jedi therapy?"
Despite his sour mood, Anakin felt a small smile appear. "Sound like Yoda you do! Leave me with my broken heart you shall."
He felt his Master place a comforting arm around his shoulders. "That's something I cannot do, Anakin. We will resolve this, I can sense it."
"Can you also sense me becoming smarter in the ways of the heart?" Anakin felt a tear making a wet track down his cheek and wiped it away quickly. Obi-Wan sighed, trying to infuse some confidence back through the bond. "Look inside yourself, Padawan. The answers you seek are there."
Anakin smiled. "That was a total Obi-Wan answer, but I love you for it." He leaned into the man who had been a father to him these past ten years. The one who always protected him and cared for him no matter what. He would need him now, above all others if he was going to help Amidala.
And help her we will, Padawan. Anakin shared a quiet laugh with his Master before getting to his feet. As Jedi they faced their fair share of problems. This time, the problem needed to be faced as men.
That was scarier than either of them wanted to admit.
*****************************
Warm breezes were floating in from Becaal's windows when Amidala finally woke. She sat up, stretching her sore muscles. Her head was beating as if Augie and his entire band were up there, and her mouth was dry as Tatooine. Blech. Worse yet, she didn't quite remember how she got here.
As if sensing she were awake, Becaal entered the room, carrying a tray of sweet-smelling tea. "Good morning, Amidala. I trust you're well rested?" He leaned down, placing a kiss on her forehead. Becaal had been the Palace healer for nearly 15 standard years now, starting when he was barely that age. She had seen very little of him though; that was, until recently.
She nodded, accepting the tea with a smile. "Yes, thank you. I feel... drained actually." Was it all a dream? She could see Anakin's smiling face... but had it really happened? Determining the difference between real and imagined was becoming more and more difficult.
Becaal nodded, understanding her feelings. "Understandable, Sabé brought you here under great distress. She was distraught, yelling at the staff and anyone who got in her way." He paused, pouring them both more tea. "She's a real firecracker, that one."
With a smile, Amidala nodded. "She's my best friend, of course she was distressed." She was silent a moment, picturing Sabé screaming orders. She did that well. "May I ask what happened? The last thing I remember was reading a coded message on my data pad."
"I'm afraid I do not know, honestly. Sabé had mentioned something about it being 'all his fault' and that she was 'going to take care of this once and for all'. Do you have any idea what she was talking about?"
Amidala would have answered him, but the door swung open and Anakin came rushing in, out of breath and shell-shocked. "Amidala... oh Force! I had... I had a dream that... but you're okay?" He rushed to her side, grabbing her hand fiercely.
Becaal regarded the boy with a frown; his patient needed time to recover! "If you do not mind, her Majesty needs to rest-"
"Becaal, it's all right. There's nothing I'd like more than to talk to Anakin." She smiled at the man beside her.
Becaal straightened up, clearly seeing the dismissal for what it was. "Very well, I will be outside."
Amidala pulled her hand away as soon as the door slid shut. This, coupled with the severe look on her face dropped the room's temperature about 20 degrees. Anakin knew he was about to get reamed. "Here to make sure the nutcase is getting her help? I cannot believe you, Anakin Skywalker!"
My whole name; This is not good. "I think that you misunderstood me, Amidala. I, for one, am happy that you're strong enough to admit you need help; I wouldn't be that brave! Nobody likes to hear that they may need someone's help, especially someone as self-reliant as you."
Her expression softened somewhat, but she remained silent.
"And don't ask me how I know these things. I haven't been trained as a Jedi for show, you know. Every fiber of your being is screaming out for help, and I'm not going to let you ignore that on the basis of pride." He turned her face gently to his with his finger. She was crying again, but these were tears of relief. "You're pretty smart for a little boy," she joked, taking both of his hands in hers.
Anakin sat up, puffing out his chest. "In case you haven't noticed, I am not a little boy anymore."
She giggled. "Oh, I've noticed, believe me.," She kissed his left hand, bringing it close to her heart. "It was just a shock, that's all. My staff... even Sabé... tiptoe around me like I'm a thermal detonator. I'm so afraid of acting crazy that it... makes me crazy. Does that make any sense?" He nodded. "I guess this was the kick in the arse that I needed, huh? I knew there was a reason you came here, Anakin."
"And it wasn't just to stare into your beautiful eyes, although I certainly could-"
She twirled her fingers into his tunic, pulling his face in for a kiss, effectively silencing him. They broke apart shortly after, seeking air. "You could stay here at my side all day, and I would still want more, handsome." She purred, wrapping her arms around his neck. Now, as much as he loved this... you have no idea. There was more going on here than either of them were ready for.
And it had nothing to do with the physical aspects of their new relationship.
Amidala's mental health was going to have to come first if they had any kind of future. He idly mused that Obi-Wan would be pleased so see he'd reached such a mature decision. I can be mature when needed. Maybe. If she kept looking at him like that, all bets were off. "Well, as much as I'd love to do just that, I think I have someone that I'd like you to meet. Now, Obi-Wan made me swear that you wouldn't let this out of the bag... but we managed to find a Jedi healer on Naboo for business and she's waiting outside-"
Amidala looked shocked. "But... Becaal... what will I say to him? Sorry, but I got a better healer? Anakin..."
He kissed her fingertips, quieting her for the moment. "Please trust me on this, Ami. Julyne is the best healer this side of Coruscant, and we could get into exorbitant amounts of trouble for bringing her here."
Amidala smiled at the ever-so-slight accent Anakin had picked up from his Master. It was endearing to see what an influence the older man had on him. "Yeah, after a few years on Coruscant, you'd sound like this too." He was Obi-Wan then, dead on. "Now, what do you say? I really want you to see her."
She sighed, falling back onto the pillows. "Fine, anything to shut you up!" She bonked him on the head with a pillow. "Now, that was very becoming for a Queen. Pillow fighting... what's next, wrestling?"
She smiled. "Send her in, Anakin. But only if you remain. I don't want her using anything funny on me. None of that Force mind-reading stuff."
"I'm not going anywhere. In fact, I think that Obi-Wan may need to be here as well. Are you okay with that?" He walked towards the door, pressing the button to allow Julyne and Obi-Wan to enter. A half-hearted grunt was all he received, so he proceeded.
The three Jedi stood in the room now, summoning the healing powers of the Force. It was going to be a long day.
***********************
Becaal stood with his back to the door, trying in vain to listen to what was occurring inside. The Jedi had brought their healer. They were, in his opinion, untrustworthy. Sabé had told him, breaking all confidences as she did, that something Anakin had said was what set off Amidala's latest attack.
The Handmaiden also admitted that Amidala hadn't been taking her meds.
He'd placed Amidala on brathamax to control her moods, and a very mild sedative to sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary, but he learned quickly that the Queen hated being medicated. She was simply flushing the pills each morning as to not alert her now confirmed as nosy roommate.
Yes, Becaal mused, Sabé would come in handy for what he had in mind. It was too bad that the girl had decided to become so trusting...
************************
...
Well she wants
to be the queen,
and she thinks about her scene. Well, she wants to live
her life, and she thinks about
her life. Holds her hair back as she
screams: I don't really want to be the queen.
...
Four hours after they began, Anakin, Obi-Wan and Julyne were exhausted. Amidala's mind was at war with itself, it seemed. Obi-Wan had expressed concern that whatever treatment Becaal was giving her might be interfering with theirs. It seemed plausible, but Anakin hoped it wasn't true.
That would mean that Becaal was a lot stronger than he appeared.
There was not much they could do, really. Amidala had fallen asleep after the first twenty minutes, which was common. Anakin held onto her lifeless hand, making gentle contact with her mind. He hadn't expected to get anywhere, after all the trying the three of them had done.
Yet he did.
Amidala's warm presence flooded through the bond he'd unknowingly created, momentarily throwing him off balance. Laid before him were every one of Amidala's deepest fears and thoughts. He shut himself from her most private thoughts and instead tried focusing on the problem areas.
He felt a strong arm on his shoulder and turned to find Obi-Wan smiling at him. "Glad I gave you those basic healing lessons, Padawan?" He teased, taking a seat beside him. Anakin nodded, not ready to break the bond with Amidala yet. "I sent Julyne back on her mission with instructions to leave all blame on us. We should be used to it by now."
Anakin smiled and looked down at Amidala, who had just opened her eyes. "You seem to attract trouble like a magnet," she whispered, smiling.
Obi-Wan laughed, taking her other hand inside his own. Force, if she isn't tiny! "If I would have known reaching you was this easy, I would have sent Julyne back hours ago," he mused, feeling like a fool for not realizing it sooner.
"There was no way you could have known. I fell asleep after trying to keep her... out of mind... for so long. Her presence is unlike yours," she explained, recalling the cold water-like feeling of Julyne. She visibly shook.
Anakin sat up onto the bed, pulling her into his arms. "What do you mean? Tell us what you felt."
She burrowed close to his chest. "Cold, Anakin. Extreme cold. With you, or Obi-Wan even, it's warm. Something about her was just wrong, but there was no way to tell you. It's almost as if she were blocking my contact with you." Her voice cracked at the end, and she fought back the tears. No more crying!
Obi-Wan shared a concerned look with his Padawan. "This is most unusual, Amidala. Julyne is regarded as one of the best Jedi healers."
Anakin, however, was shaking his head. "She may not be that far off the mark, Master. I felt the same thing coming from Becaal. His healing had put some sort of 'block' on my contact with Amidala. And now, when it's just the three of us, it's gone."
They sat there for a long time, mulling over what the days events had revealed. Amidala was more than a little confused; who was and wasn't, as it were trying to help her? Obviously she trusted Anakin and Obi-Wan, but with what she knew now, would she trust Becaal? Julyne? She just didn't know.
Anakin held onto the woman in his arms for dear life. It would be the last thing someone did, if he found they were hurting her on purpose. The question now was: How to keep Becaal away from her. He seemed the swarmy type that would defy any official instruction they gave.
"We could always take her to Coruscant for a few weeks." Obi-Wan interrupted his train of thought, surprising Anakin with his suggestion. I told you we would help her, Padawan.
Amidala's eyes lit up on their own accord. A trip away from Naboo was just the thing she needed. "Sabé has been acting in my place for the past month or so. There are no major meetings or official gatherings coming up that she couldn't handle." She gave Anakin a pleading look that he couldn't resist.
He gave a theatrical sigh and flung his hands in the air. "Fine, twist my leg why don't you. When do we leave?"
Amidala and Obi-Wan laughed. "As soon as possible, Padawan."
*******************************
Speak to me
baby, in the middle of the night.
Speak to me, hold your mouth to mine.
'cause the sky is breaking, it's deeper than love.
I know the way you feel
like the rain's outside.
So speak to me.
...
The Republic Cruiser Allamont effortlessly made the jump to hyperspace under the smooth control of Anakin's hands. Amidala, dressed down to Handmaiden status, sat beside him, watching as his face changed with the ebb and flow of the ship. It was fascinating, they way he became one with the ship.
Obi-Wan had since gone to meditate, as their trip to Coruscant would last several hours. It had been easier than they expected, getting Amidala some time off. Sabé had been filling in for the Queen since her... illness, and had no problem continuing for a while. In fact, Amidala noticed, Sabé seemed a little too eager.
It must be me, she decided. Things in her mind were not what they appeared anymore, and she didn't trust it. She was content now to sit and enjoy Anakin's comforting company. Their ship was one of the newer models, offering all the amenities one would ever need in deep space. With a flick of her finger, the cabin was immersed with a deep, pulsating beat.
Anakin turned and smiled and she was suddenly shy. "I'm sorry, does it bother you?"
"Not at all, I like it.... actually." His voice lowered to a whisper as he felt her small hands beginning one wonderful massage of his shoulders. She has got to stop that!
Amidala smiled to herself, satisfied with the quickening of his heartbeat. She could feel it in his neck, even as she knew he was trying to calm himself down. "Relax, your muscles are so tight, Anakin," she whispered, leaning close to his ear. The music flowed around them, bouncing off the surfaces of the expansive cabin. She worked in time with it, enjoying the feel of his warm skin beneath her hands.
Anakin allowed himself to be taken in by all senses. The soothing beat of the music, the summer-sweet smell of her hair, the silk of her hands. "If this is supposed to be relaxing me, it's not working-"
"Shh, I'm not done yet, Jedi." She purred, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. At this point, Anakin would have followed her outside the ship. They sat on a small sectional, looking out over the black blur of space. Anakin sat all the way back, motioning for her to lie back into his arms. "C'mere you."
She smiled and readily complied, ready to feel the warmth of his arms around her. They sat that way for a moment, in tune with each other and everything around them. The ship was alive, the air around them crackled with electricity. It was the most intense feeling he'd had in a long time. He trailed a hand up her bare arm to her cheek, brushing away a strand of chestnut hair. So perfect.
Amidala giggled at the touch. "That tickles!" she added, pulling his arms -and hands- back where they were.
"Mmm, what about this?" He placed a small, feather-light kiss on the pale, soft spot where shoulder meets neck. She shuddered at the touch, coming to life like a live wire. My, my, Anakin, what are they teaching you in that Temple?
"That.. .that was very nice. Did not tickle at all." She almost laughed at the breathless quality of her voice. Turning in his embrace, she kissed him fully. This was unlike all previous kisses they'd shared; this one came from deep inside and reached out completely to the other. Anakin hand wove its way into her hair, the other holding her around the waist.
They broke apart for air and the room spun on its own accord. The song had changed, but the beat remained. "Wow." He whispered, gathering her into a full-body hug. She responded in kind, settling beside him with her head on his chest. "Jedi training or no, you are one great kisser, Anakin."
He laughed at that, placing a kiss atop her head. "You're my first kiss, you know that?" It was true! Ten years of training and hoping from system to system left little time for romance.
"Yeah, well, same here. I guess we both lead lives dedicated to others and forget that we, too, have to live now and again." Her words were light, but he could tell that the stress she was holding onto crept into that statement.
"We're living now," he added, arranging her slightly-sleepy form so that she rested comfortably beside him.
"You're right, handsome." She kissed him quickly on the lips before gently falling asleep. He watched her for a while before getting up and adjusting the ships consoles. It was still quite a while to Coruscant, but now the distance didn't seem so great.
Feeling a distinct presence, he looked up to see Obi-Wan watching him. "I was just thinking about the last time she and I traveled to Coruscant together." He whispered, signaling Obi-Wan to sit beside him in the co-pilot's chair. His usual spot.
The older man smiled wistfully, remembering it all too well. "Those were perhaps the most confusing and trying times in our lives so far, Padawan. You two were, perhaps, the bravest of all of us. I'm not altogether sure I would have been able to face the Council as you did, that took great courage."
Anakin regarded his Master with a grin; It wasn't everyday that Obi-Wan felt like talking about those tragic, crazy days. A Jedi must be mindful of the present and all that. "You don't think I wasn't scared to death? Master Yoda saw through me as if I were glass! Now, Amidala, she was brave." He looked back at her, sleeping soundly. She appeared free of all her troubles, free to dream.
"Indeed, she still is. I'm certain that this time will give her what she needs." Force, for her sake, I wish it to be true! Obi-Wan followed Anakin's eyes to the sleeping form of Amidala. They had their work cut out for them, these two. But if anyone can do it... the two bravest people he knew , were the ones.