The Layer Wars
One day Shrek came to me, with his pungent Onion smell. At first eye was hesistant, no I outright refused to bask in his presence. It was a foolish state of mind, wanting to resist his Onion-greatness. I fought him with a force equal to that of Farquaad and Donkey, but was defeated by his Onionzooka. He then proceeded to shove his mighty Ogre shaft down my throat, tears welling in my eyes not of pain nor sadness oh no, but of acceptance.
After the contents of my stomach were that of his ogreized essence, I followed him in a great conflict known by many as the Layer wars of 69, which co-existed with the great Onion famine of that same year.
It was during that crusade we gathered many followers. I was able to convince Fairy God-Mother to join our side along with 10,000 strong man army. Shrek was able to gather all 20 Clans of the Ogre and we proceeded to march towards the main caste, where King Harold rested, not expecting the imminent threat to his life and rule.
I led the first wave along with Fairy God-Mother, slaughtering every man, women, and child we saw and ripping their souls and imbueding them in the great Onion Sphere, were the spirits will forever be used in whatever way Shrek desires. However Fairy God-Mother ripped off her entire body, revealing she was a costume. It was Prince Charming all along. He then led his men against mine, outnumbering us 10 to 1. I saw how he brutally killed each and every one of my men and using their corpses as sex toys for their own sick gratification.
When all seemed lost Shrek bursted from the ground without leaving any sign of destruction where he appeared. He ripped off Prince Charming's head and violeted with his eshrek'd penis, literally burtsting it as it was a fruit Gusher with his expected cumming. Then we saw Prince Charming's body and it too was a costume. Inside was Donkey's wife, Dragon. It was a sickening mess, with me throwing up all over my Ogrelord's face. However we could not simply stare for we had a war to win. Fiona came out of the main castle and challenged her former husband to a duel to the death. It was a green blur when the two clash, their speeds going above the concept of speed as their duel continued to grow faster and more rapid. It was when I was able to clear my senses I realized they were making love.
While this happened I stormed towards the castle to challenge King Harold on a one on one match. I saw him, readying his sword and claiming he will never give his throne. He leaped towards me, but then I used a Hadouken and made his explode, is ancient remains covering me and befouling my Shrekified essence. I then heard an explosion, and realized Fiona gave birth to thousands of Ogre babies, who were leaping to and fro and eating our armies alive. Then I saw them turn on their parents, and then eventually each other, consuming until a giant massive green blob appeared before me. I thought this was it, it was all over. But then I heard a powerful and sensual voice reassure me.
"it's never Ogre."
I saw the green blob sprout legs, ears, arms and even its own clothing. It was Shrek, who now dwarfed the entire kindgom of Far Far Away. He then picked me up and placed me on his right shoulder, as we flew to the sunset and traveled to the center of the Universe in an instant. There he took out his Onion-Zooka and shot at Farquaad, who was controlling the events on a computer. Everything exploded in a giant gaseous green glow and then I woke up in my room. I told myself that was a crazy dream. Then I went up to my parents, who told me to go back to bed. I said I didn't want to, and I wished I stayed with Shrek. My Father was made, and threw a punch at me but I blocked and punched him in the dick. Out flopped out a massive Ogre-shaft similar to that of Shrek. He then smiled at me, and a familiar scottish accent came from his lips: "You did it laddie, you made me proud." He and my Mother ripped off their faces and bodies and it turns out they were Shrek. I looked at my hands and I had myself giant Ogre hands. I looked at myself and realized I was Shrek all along. We are all a mere part of his presence. A sudden Nirvana came over me as I came to this realization. Then my vision along with everyone else's became dark and we all became one as we opened them once more, back in our Swamp. As Shrek we went outside and proceeded with our Morning routine as the song Smash Mouth played in the Background. It was the start of a new beginning, a new life.
Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.