Okay, so I watched the season premiere and COULD NOT help my self! I needed to keep going even if it was for a silly little one shot.. perhaps two. I don't know, but I will when its finished
Disclaimer: I got a message from Dick Wolf.. and guess what! They're not mine.. Not even joint custody. Can you believe the nerve!!
Elliot was about to go home and probably get into another fight with Kathleen. That was until Creagen called him into his office. "What did I do?" He scrambled his brain on the walk to his office and came up with nothing.
"Yes sir?"
"Elliot. Have you noticed anything... different about your partner?" He said.
"Um, no sir. Can't say that I have. Why?"
All of a sudden Don snapped, "Well maybe if you pulled you head out of your ass you'd notice!"
Elliot was startled by his captains outburst, "What are you talking about," He asked starting to become frustrated.
"What am I talking about? I'm talking about you completely ignoring her!..."
"Captain-" He was cut off.
"Shes been very agitated and jumpy and pretty much falling asleep at her desk. You tellin' me that you haven't noticed that?"
"Well I saw that she was tired today. She told me she got no sleep. I didn't press the issue. Its probably nothing big."
Don took a deep breath, "I'm worried about her," was all he said.
"Don't be. She's fine," Elliot assured him. Then turned to leave.
Elliot couldn't help but think about what his captain had just said to him, "There's no reason to worry right? Right. She's fine. Just a little tired. That's completely normal."
As he walked out of the precinct he thought again, trying to remember Olivia's actions for the past week. The more he thought about it, the more he noticed, there was something off.
"She's been awful quiet, when she does talk it seems like she's going to spontaneously punch someone and start crying. She has been really tired. She doesn't look him in the eyes. She doesn't look anyone in the eyes but the victims and perps.. Every time she took a statement it looked as is she was going to run out of the room and cry. A couple days ago she was getting a soda from the machine and it sat there for about a minute. She was deep in thought and when he came over and talked to her she jumped about a foot of the ground."
He was in his car when it hit him. How could he be so blind not to notice that his partner was slowly, quietly self destructing. He drove over to her apartment, hoping to find her watching TV or something, proving to him that it was all in his head.
When he arrived at her door he could hear faint crying. He tried to open the door, and to his surprise it was unlocked. That was an immediate red flag. "She never keeps her door unlocked." He thought.
He went in and the first thing he noticed was that there was a sheet and pillow on the couch. "Had she been sleeping here a while?"
He could her the sobs getting louder as he got closer to the bedroom. When he opened her bedroom door he expected to see her in bed crying into the pillow. But no, there was no one there. He walked a little further into the room and turned to his right to look at the bathroom door. There was no doubt she was in there. He tried to open it, but it was locked.
"Olivia?" He called, but there was no answer, and no sign she heard him.
"Liv?" He called a bit louder. This time he knew she heard him. The crying stopped, but her could still her sniffling.
She had her back against the sink and was sitting on the floor, she had made her self sick with anxiety and decided to just stay on the floor and keep sobing. She heard his voice and her heart skipped a beat. But not in the good way. "Shit. Did I leave the door unlocked?"
"What are you doing here, Elliot?" She said, sounding very annoyed and worn out.
He sighed and sat on the floor, leaning his back against the dresser that was next to the bathroom door.
"I came to see if you were okay," He answered back.
"I'm fine," Came the typical Olivia Benson response.
"You don't sound fine."
She sighed, she could feel her energy and tough exterior slipping away. She let a sob escape her lips and regretted it right after.
"Olivia... please? Come out of there. I want to help you." It hurt him to hear her like this, She was his best friend, and if she hurt, so did he.
"Please go," She said sounding defeated. "You don't need to see me like this." She was wearing a tank-top with an over-sized NYPD sweatshirt over it, sweatpants and socks. Her hair was messy and there was black mascara lines running down her face, that she just never got around to cleaning off. He would think she was a mess and weak. And then he would feel bad for her, help her up, then go home and think about what a whinny, pathetic partner he got stuck with. And just as if he read her mind, he spoke.
"Olivia, I won't judge you. You know that. I just want to help you get through this. I'm not even sure whats wrong. Unlock the door so I can help,"
There was a long pause. He wondered if she passed out or something. Then he heard the sound of the door unlock, but she didn't open it. She left him to do that.
He opened the door and found her with her back against the tub looking down and her hands in her lap. She looked traumatized and that scared him. He walked over to her and bent to her side, when she didn't look up, he pulled her forward and put his arm around her shoulder and the other beneath her knee, then pick her up. As he lifted her, a whimper escaped her mouth. It felt like someone punched him in the gut. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shuddered in his arms. He wanted to know what was doing this to her, and if it was a 'who' then he would punch the sons-a-bitch lights out.
He moved his arm that was holding her shoulder and pulled back the covers and placed her in the bed. She turned on her side and he knelt down by the bed so he was at her level. He could see tears forming in her eyes. A piece of hair fell in front of her face and he brought his hand up and pushed it behind her ear. He looked her in the eyes, and just as he suspected would happen, she looked away.
"Are you going to tell me whats wrong?" He said gently.
She let out a shaky breath. "You'll just laugh at me."
"I'd do no such thing."
"I... I don't know whats wrong with me. I just feel like losing control."
"Why?"
She took a deep breath. "My mind keeps going back to Sealview. I keep seeing that damn scene in my head over and over again. I cant sleep, I lost my appetite I always feel jumpy. I thought I was going to break down into tears today. And I don't know why. Nothing happened!"
"Olivia, something happened. Has this been going on for four months?"
"No," She answered honestly, "It hasn't. It started three weeks ago. I don't know what triggered it. I just has a bad dream one night, now I see it every time I close my eyes or is left alone with my thoughts." A stray tear worked its way down her cheek.
Elliot wiped it away with his thumb.
"I have no where to turn, no one to turn to. I just let it get out of hand and Im whining about nothing and I hate that. I wasn't raped. There's nothing to complain about!"
"No one to turn to?" That hurt him a little. Why doesn't she know by now that he is always here for her.
"Liv, I'm always here for you. You can always talk to me. I'm not going to look down on you. Olivia, I don't know what happened in that prison. But from what I hear, it was close. You have every right to be shaken. Maybe you should talk to George."
"I'm talking to a counselor,"
"That's good. Since when?"
"Today."
"That's a step in the right direction, Liv. And you know you can talk to me whenever you want. I'm always a phone call away."
She nodded and began to cry again. He reached his arm around her and pulled him self closer, he whispered to her word of comfort. She began to calm down and looked him in the eyes, something she hadn't done in a while. She reached out and grabbed his hand.
"Thank you," She said quietly, he almost didn't hear her.
"No need. Of course I'd be here for you. Just hopefully it wont take me this long to notice somethings wrong next time," He said.
"Hopefully there's not a next time. I hate this feeling."
"Take it easy okay? If you keep going at this rate, you'll give yourself a heart attack."
"I'm only 42," She replied.
"So?"
"You know, I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a heart attack with all your anger."
"I'm only 46," He said with a smile.
She couldn't help but laugh.
"There, I like that smile. You should do that more often," He stroked her cheek and stood up.
"I'll get you some water, okay? You must be thirsty."
She nodded and he got up and walked out of the room.
He didn't need to turn a light on, he could find his way to the fridge without it. When he stepped into the kitchen he heard something crack beneath his feet. He opened the fridge door for some light and noticed a broken beer bottle on the floor. There was no liquid around it so he could only assume it was empty. He didn't want her to step in it so he cleaned it up for her. When he was done he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and walked back to her room.
She was sleeping, and she looked peaceful. He left the bottle of water on her nightstand and kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room. There was a pad and pen on her coffee table so he wrote a note, then found some tape and taped it to the inside of her bedroom door, then left and locked the door with his spare key.
The next morning Olivia woke up from her alarm going off. When she awoke she looked around and saw a note on her door. She recognized the chicken scratch handwriting as Elliot's. It read:
I was serious about you taking it easy. I want you to be careful.
Take the day off. I'm sure Captain will understand.
Don't worry, I wont tell anyone about last night.
Your still the amazingly strong Detective Benson, that never cries.
But you don't have to be. Your not superwomen.
But even superheroes have their breaking point.
Just take it easy okay?
-Elliot
She couldn't help but smile at his concern. But of course she wasn't going to take the day off. She remembered when she first started working with Elliot she could't read his handwriting, she would always need to ask him what things said. Now she had no problem understanding it.
When she walked into the precinct, she came bearing coffee for her and Elliot. She was over that no coffee phase.
"Hey," He said with a smile, "Thanks,"
"No problem."
"You get my note?" He asked in a whisper once she sat down at her desk.
She turned on her computer, "Yes I did."
"I guess you decided to ignore its advice,"
"Elliot, I'm fine." She looked up at him.
He was about to say something but he stopped himself. He looked in her eyes and he knew what she meant. She meant she's going to be okay and Thanks for staying with her. And don't worry I'll take it easy, just subtly.
He nodded and smiled at her, she smiled back glad he got what she meant. She loved the fact that they would have a conversation without speaking and yet could still have a conversation.
Her best friend.
So? What did you think? Yes, It is done! So don't go on saying "Update soon!" Because I'm not going to. Please Review. Hit that mystery colored button that's in between blue and purple. I feel pretty good about this story. Sorry if you wanted some Elliot/Olivia action. Maybe next time. :)