Authors Note: There's a line in a John Rich song that goes, "We'll be speaking German, living under the flag of Japan," and I was thinking that does not make sense, but I did come up with this funny fic.
"I'm taking over this *urp* land," A obviously drunken Japan said.
He was over at America house a day or two before the next world meeting was suppose to happen. America had also invited Germany over to watch tv and get pretty much drunk. Germany agreed to come but on the premise that he should bring his liquor over, America agreed and 2 hours later the three nations were really drunk.
"Says who?" America said, sitting on the couch, downing his 4th bottle of beer. Being the beer lover that he is, he had lots of different kinds of beers from around the world.
"Says the ninja!" Declared Japan coming from the kitchen before burping once again. Germany was just sitting next to the blonde, being all stoic.
"Alfred?" He finally asked, not moving his head, "Got any vodka?"
"Yes, should be in the kitchen." Germany stood up, only to fall over the table. Japan then went ahead, albeit stumpling and such, and got out the vodka and the sake that he had brought over.
After a couple of tries, Germany finally stood up when Japan brought the liquors to the table. They all sat soen and looked at the assortment of beer they now had on the table.
"We need to get drunker." America said. At that they starting opening the bottles and started drinking even mixing some of them together.
"You know I can take over both of you if I wanted too." Japan stated, causing the other two to stare at him.
"No *urp* way, I can take over your tiny rock any day!" America anwsered.
"Is not a rock, Al! Its a...its a boulder!" Japan happily declared.
"I can take over both of your countries!" Germany announced, Japan and America staring at him, "I'm the biggest nation,"
"No you're not! I am!" America yelled from the other side of Japan. The black haired nation finished his bottle before speaking,
"You're both wrong, Japan takes over the entire world! Mwhahahaha!" Japan piped up before taking another swig.
"Well prove it Artie!" America said.
Japan then walked or what was close to walking as he could under the influence, to the map of the world that America had on the wall next to the TV. The other two nations just walked stumpled over as Japan got out a Sharpie. He then started putting "Japan" all over the place.
"This land is mine and this one. This one too." Japan had written his name over Canada's, Russia's and America's.
"Hey, I though that was Germany," Germany said, pointing incorrectly to America. Said country had now taken the pen from Japan's hand and started writing his name on the map.
"This land is mine," America explained circling over the two Americas, "This land belongs to you Italy," Japan was so drunk that he didn't noticed that the two bigger countries were calling him the wrong name, "...and this is yours Lu..L...Luddy."
America had circled England, labeling it "Japan" and "Germany" over what was France.
"Well, you two are wrong!" Gemany took the pen and preceeded to squibble Germany in bad handwriting over every large country on the map. Then he went and put America over what was Japan and Japan's name over the state of Hawaii.
"Hey I though my land was bigger!" America protested as Japan took the pen from the beer drinking Germany.
"This is your land," Japan had written Germany over the country of Australia, "This is mine," Japan finished as he wrote his name over Brazil.
"You're lying, thats Canada!" America shouted facing the smaller nation. "This my friends is the United States of...uhh...the United States of....Whacamacallits!" America yelled jabbing a finger on what was Russia, "See, this is Washin D..*urp*..C" pointing to a random Russian city.
"Really? Cause that happenes to be Germany." Germany said matter of factly. America then started stared at the map and then to Germany bore drawing a line down in the middle of Russia,
"This side is mine and this is yours." America stated, "....and this is yours Kikki." America had put Japan over both Mongolia and China.
The "reclaiming of lands" and the drinking continued for 2 more hours until every land on the map pretty much said either one of their names. Most of the countries however would have more than one name however.
Of course the next day, the day of the meeting, America along with the other two had forgotten what happened the day before. He was suppose to bring a map of the world to the meeting so he decided to grab the one form the wall. Unfortunalety he didn't see all the scribbles on there as he drove to the meeting and setted it up in the meeting room. He then forgot to get some papers out of the car, so while the other nations piled into the room, he walked out and got his papers. It took him a little longer then he wanted, now he has to face England's name calling. It was only when he walked down the hallway when he saw Japan running towards him from around a corner with Germany not far behind,
"RUN! AMERICA-SAN, RUN!"
Just has Japan finished that sentence, he heard a low rumbling coming from the corner. He dropped his paper and started running like hell when he saw a mob of angry nations. America, Germany and Japan ran their hardest through the busy city from the league of angry nations.
Meanwhile Prussia stayed back, looking at the huge map with the names scribbled on. Holding Sealand in one arm and a pen in the other, he drew a line across writing "Prussia" on one side and "Sealand" on the other.