AXIS
Every day it twists a little, and thumbscrews down beneath her skin. The axis turns, with spite.
time is passing
so so quickly
She hates her pleasant life. She feels she doesn't deserve it. Guilt lets her hate what she loves, lets her long for something less.
She had never asked for his kindness. Never wanted it, then or now.
When he met her, she wore a cross - for the irony - and something tight and black. When he met her, it should have caused him to fall, instead of causing her to rise. And she didn't understand at first, because she was so used to helping them fall.
She didn't understand until she saw the way he could use his cold, laden words to make others empty their pockets and piggy banks for him. He was already as far down as she was, but so much better at concealing it.
And yet, she hadn't wanted her life to change, not even for the better. She didn't enjoy her previous life spent in animated suspension, but she understood it, and she knew that it was the only thing befitting her much too marred soul. Time didn't exist, back then. There were tomorrows and yesterdays, but they didn't matter. Time doesn't move if one's situations are static.
But with him, time is fast. She is forced to keep straight in her mind what happened when, and everything changes every second. Blink, and the world is new. She can't stand this blinking world, she fears she'll lose track, she just wants it to slow down...
She had never asked for his kindness. Never wanted it. She only wanted his apology, though his goodbye would suffice.
time is twisting
freeze me with it
spinning top, make it stop
The axis halts, as the ship sinks and she blinks. But something within her stays coiled tight. Was the turning of time's axis the only thing that was unwinding the backlog of sins within her?
And still, she hates the change, even though she'd yearned for it. She misses him, despite denying him. She doesn't wish that something should happen; she wishes that something hadn't happened. She runs through all the would-haves and could-haves.
And so her mind becomes the world. She won't let anyone bring her back, now that she is finally in control.
A/N: My Insangeline is making less and less sense. I didn't even edit it, because I can't understand it anymore. It is sort of Antianeira-esque with the ebil!Insangeline (I definitely stole that idea from Dimbledeb). I wrote this a month or two ago and then forgot about it, and then discovered it again today. I also discovered another partially written Insangeline, that I might work on eventually (it's quite strange, and the style is messed-up and choppy, but I think it's worth continuing).
Why am I so obsessed with Insangeline? I don't know. I just made an Insangeline C2, because I was bored. Go look at it.
Well, a thunderstorm has just started, so I have to go sit by the window and look for the shiny lightning and listen to the pretty thunder.
Disclaimer: Screw Colfer; this Insangeline is pretty much Dimbledeb's.