I Fear That Day
I dream with a distorted mind in refusal and denial. From a distorted mind with a male body.
"I fear that day." I whisper. '30 Never' is what I call myself. I am fun, passionate, child-like. I don't want to grow up. That's my problem. I DON'T want to grow up. I fear the day I hit thirty.
Twenty-nine.
Twenty-eight.
Twenty-seven.
Twenty-six.
Twenty-five.
Twenty-four.
Twenty-three.
Twenty-two.
Twenty-one.
Twenty.
Nineteen.
Eighteen.
Seventeen.
Hell even sixteen.
Fifteen, fourteen, and thirteen for me. I guess I should rename myself to '20 Never'. I look into my mind and replay my younger days. When I was new, fresh, YOUNG. I don't want to grow old. I'm '30 Never'. Throw my pillow and bitch. I cross my arms and pout. I wipe my imaginary tears. Oh no, I bitch but then pout and then I just stopped crying. I'm not cry that means I matured!
"How old am I again?"
"YOU'RE TWENTY-NINE!"
No. NO! I can't! I'm only thirteen! I checked my calendar. The year 2000 it reads. It's only 2000! I am thirteen! I run to the mirror and check my blonde hair, like when I was thirteen!
No it's a dirty blonde now.
Shiny blue eyes! Vibrant and full of innocence.
It's a murky sea-green. Filled with lies and sins.
My face still has a lovely olive complexion!
Such uneven skin tone!
I'm happily thirteen.
You're psychotically twenty-nine.
"Dougie! I told you! You're twenty-nine." I bring my hand down.
"I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE THIRTEEN! I AM '30 NEVER' AND ALWAYS WILL BE!" The red mark on his face brings a smile to mine. His face isn't new and fresh! He's old. Thirty-one, what a geezer!
"You need help."
"You need a face lift, oldie." I lie down on my super comfy bed and reminisce. I look at some old songs and play Busted's song, "Year 3000". I wonder what it'll actually be like in the year 3000. NO DON'T THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE! THERE IS NO FUTURE! YOU ARE '30 NEVER'. Oh no! I screamed out loud! Damnit Tom! Leave me alone! Don't you know not to mess with-I AM NOT TWENTY-NINE! Don't give me that cake! I DON'T WANT TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES! DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!
"Happy Thirtieth Birthday Dougs."
I wake up in cold sweat. I look around and see Tom lying next to me. I shake him awake.
"Dougie?" He says groggily. "What's wrong?"
"What year is it? What's our latest album?"
"It's 2006 and it's Wonderland but Motion in the Ocean should be coming soon." He explains.
"How old am I?"
"Eighteen..." I sigh. I can deal with being I wouldn't like to be nineteen or twenty... thirty, thirty is the worst. I sigh and lie back down on my shared be and start to drift.
I dream with a distorted mind in refusal and denial. From a distorted mind with a male body.
"I fear that day." I whisper.