A/N - I do not own any part of the Hunger Games. This is by no means a Gale and Katniss love story. Peeta comes into it. Be patient. This is my first fan fiction story, so be kind. And please comment your views and thoughts and any suggestions as to where you would like it to go. Happy reading!
My time had finally come. It was time for me to leave for boarding school in a place called Surrey. That means leaving almost everyone behind. My mother, who seemed to need me the most after the horrid few years we've suffered. She appeared empty since father passed away and even more so after the incident at home. It left her secluded. She pushed everyone away, everyone that loved her, forgotten in her eyes. She blamed herself. And for quite a while after the incident I blamed her too. I've been left with much insecurity because of everything that happened, and so has Prim.
Primrose, my gorgeous little sister, I wasn't going to be leaving her behind though as she was to attend the same school as me. She's so excited, and then there's me – absolutely terrified. I don't like change. Especially since everything began to fall into place for me, and then I stood by and watched it all fall apart. I blame Aunt Effie and Uncle Haymitch for that though, Prim doesn't understand why, but that's because she licks their arses every time they are round.
When father passed away, mother used to go out and get hammered every night at the pub round the corner, The Hob it was called. It was full of dead leg people with greasy hair and grotty clothes, one night she brought one of the male's home and ended up going a little bit too far with him. She didn't regret it, he kept coming to visit her, she was in "love" or so she says. I hated her for that, for moving on from father so fast without even looking over her shoulder to pick up the pieces of anyone's lives. And that's what I was left to do and I've been doing it – or trying – ever since. A few weeks went by and she eventually asked this man to move in with the three of us, he was called Frank. And one night, things escalated, mother was passed out on the couch and Frank couldn't get what he wanted sex. He made a beeline for me, I ran as fast as I could, and locked me and Prim into the tiny shoe box that we called a bathroom. I refused to be treated like a whore in my own home. I stood up to him and for the next year all he did was mistreat me. He tried to touch me and eventually settled with hitting me; he got just as much pleasure out of that. The amount of times I went into school with a busted lip or a black eye. Every time Aunt Effie came around to the house, she would notice a new injury. And Cato or Glimmer would go home and tell her about my physical injuries if she hadn't been round in a few months.
Aunt Effie was my father's sister; she's quite upper class - as was my father. Myself and Prim never wanted for anything with the family that we had. But Aunt Effie detested mother, she always told my dad how silly he was in marrying her when he could have had so much more. But he never listened. He truly loved mother.
After Frank moved in, Aunt Effie never wanted me and Prim to live under the same roof as mother, or Frank for that matter. She says she was bad for us Frank too. And that's why she's paying the excruciating fees for us to attend boarding school. She'd never have us live with her, because none of us really get along and especially with her two stick up kids, Cato and Glimmer. Gale hates them as well; he says that they get away with absolute murder.
Gale is my boyfriend. Well…was my boyfriend. He's 18 years old, almost 19. I've known him all my life, he's always lived next door to my family. He started to pick me up again after he found out what was happening. He loved to hunt with his brothers, so he always used to come by in the evening and make sure we were all having a nice warm meal to keep us going. He'd even come by in the morning and help make breakfast while I was getting ready. And he was famous for making a mean lunch for us girls to keep us going through the school day. I'll miss not having him around to do those simple little things for me when I move. I won't deny, it wasn't always rainbows and butterflies in the relationship of us two. I panicked under his touch. It sounds really daft now, but I don't like human contact with many people, especially male, not since my run-ins with Frank. It just unease's me out that I've been so vulnerable, and I could be in that situation again. Gale would shout at me when I pushed him away and when I wouldn't let him hold me in his arms, his touch making me whimper, his words piercing my hard rock that I'd surrounded myself in, his words stringing together not even making sense in my head, but making me whimper none the less. I'd sit in the corner for hours and he would sit in front of me and try to coax me out of my trance.
I was getting better at letting him touch me again. We used to sleep in the same bed whenever we would stay at each other's houses. When the nightmares would strike me in the middle of my slumber, id always reach out and grab his hand with one hand and use the other hand to pull his arm into my chest. We just lay there, he'd stroke up and down my hand with his thumb, until I finally learnt to let him envelope me in his grasp. Aunt Effie changed all that though, she made sure she did. We were watching television one night when she came thrashing in announcing that we were off to boarding school to the whole of the room. We didn't even get a chance to talk about it. I slowly began to push Gale away, and it killed me seeing that it was killing him. He just wanted to be there for me. We eventually sat down to talk, only about a week ago really, but we basically decided we weren't going to force a long distance relationship upon ourselves. New people would saunter into our lives, maybe as a lesson or maybe for life. And we didn't want to complicate things from so far away. Now im back to square one again and I have to learn how to trust and love again. I didn't want to lose my best friend though, so we promised to talk at least 3 times a week. I'd still have a phone, the same number even.
I take comfort in knowing that Madge is only going to be on the other side of a mobile phone. Madge is my other best friend, along side Gale. It was Gale that introduced me to her when we first started to hang around. She also is the year above me, Gale's age. She used to watch out for me at school and then we became increasingly closer. The rest became history; she's never left my side since.
I sit on the end of my bed, taking a final look around the room. Remembering where I grew up and all the amazing memories that I had before life turned on me and began sprinting down hill. I make all my final checks as well, making sure that I have everything. Toiletries? Check. Phone charger? Check. Phone? Check. Photos for my new room? Check. It looked like I was about ready to go. I grab my suitcase and shoulder bag and open the door. I stop to admire all the markings from where dad used to measure us at the end of every month. It's that kind of memories im going to miss. I try not to think about all the bad ones.
I freeze at the top of the stairs trying to push back the tears from my eyes and choking on a sob that's trying to escape. I hate it here yet I can't make myself go any further. I don't like change.
"Katniss!? Are you ready? We're all waiting!" an excited Prim shouts, who sounds like she's standing next to the front door.
"Yes Im here!" I give myself a reassuring nod and race down the stairs trying to act all excited for my little sister. "Im here!" Everyone's standing out on the front lawn, I walk over to my mother first, and I give her a kiss on the cheek embracing her in my arms. It feels like im the adult and she's the child going off on her own. I'd prefer it that way…but as it isn't that way inclined I had to carry on.
"Don't forget who you are mum. Sort yourself out while we're gone, get back on track. I love you." I whisper in her ear, she squeezes me a little bit tighter before releasing her arms from around my waist and pulling back. That's when I see a tear roll down her cheek. Maybe she isn't as cold-hearted as everyone thought in the first place.
I move on to the next person and the next person, shaking their hands or giving them a nod and some meaningful words. They all know that Im not a touchy feely person so they don't try to force hugs and kisses upon me. I respect them for their decisions to do that, im grateful. It's not until I get to Gale and Madge. That's when the tears try to make a proper appearance. I will not cry, I will not cry! I think to myself. We have a three way hug, because they are just about the only people in my neighbourhood who I will greet in this way, apart from my mother and Prim of course. I mutter how much im going to miss them. And I speak the truth. I will miss them.
After all the goodbyes are said and done, I throw my bags in the boot along side Prim's things and scoot into the car next to her. I give her a kiss on the cheek, grab her hand, I take a deep breath and look out of the window to my left. Everyone's waving and blowing kisses and it just all feels a little too much to handle. As tears begin to roll out of my eyes and down my cheeks, I feel Prim clutch my hand that little bit tighter. I put my head down and bite my lip, hoping for my emotions to repress themselves.
Damn you tears. I knew you would finally make an entrance.
"Aunt Effie, how long does it take to get to the school?" Prim asks, waking me up from my cat nap.
"It takes about 3 and a half hours hunny bee." Our aunt replied.
"Oooh Kat your awake now! Im so excited Are you? Do you think there will be lots of nice people there? What if they don't like us? Gosh I hope they do! Oh now im panicking!" Primrose goes on about the new school for what feels like hours. I try to reassure her and calm her down at the same time. Nothing appears to work though.
"Of course they'll like us Prim, whats not to like. And im sure i'll be excited when I get there and get used to things. Its just so far from home, from family, from friends, from G..." I trail off the end of my sentence.
"From Gale. You were going to say Gale weren't you Kat?" There is nothing I cant hide from that kid.
"Yes I was. Its not fair. We haven't properly been able to repair our friendship. We've only been broken up for two weeks. I don't like it!" I begin a little rant to Prim who is sat beside me. I realise that my Aunt and Uncle are shaking their heads from the front of the car. Protesting against everything that I was saying. "I don't like change." I mumble hoping that no one else would hear.
"Well that's tough isn't it Katniss...deary me. Your growing up, of course your going to change, people will change, and situations will change. Your life WILL change. So accept it and move on. If this was my Cato or my Glimmer, they would be moving onto their next challenge, maybe even looking for another relationship with someone more mature. Take a leaf out of their books Katniss." This speech reels off my Uncles tongue as if hes being rehearsing it for the hour that we've been in the car. It really infuriates me the way he thinks he can speak to me like utter shit and patronise me and compare me to those two twerps I have to call cousins. I feel my blood boiling and I try to refrain myself from snapping.
"Well I'm not Cato. OR Glimmer. So back off me. Your not my dad! Why don't you take a leaf from his book and support me sometime. Im going back to sleep before I say even more things that I will most likely regret." I slide down my seat so that my head is resting on the seat-belt. I quickly glance across at Prim who still has my hand and notice that I startled her with my outburst. "Im sorry little duck." I whisper from across the car. I notice a smile nipping at the side of her lip before falling back into my sleeping state.