A/N: Warning! This is probably my worst story to date. But I haven't been sleeping much for the last week or so, and tonight was one of those nights where I couldn't sleep at all. And when I can't sleep, I think a lot…mostly about depressing shit. So I wrote this to keep me distracted. Hope you at least somewhat enjoy it though :)

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, obviously…

If there was ever a time that Kyle thought he'd ever be in a situation such as this, he would have done something to prevent it. But sadly, he had over looked all the signs and continued to be oblivous to the raging war around him.

As the red-head stood in the doorway to his bedroom in front of his three best friends, clothed in nothing but a pair of forest green boxer briefs, he wanted nothing more than to scream and slam the door. Three hopeful hands were presented to him, each one holding a rose, and each of their owners wearing a tuxedo. Kenny, sporting a white tux that actually looked nice compared to his other clothes, spoke up for the rest of the group-who had chosen to wear black instead. "Kyle," he said confidently. "There's no other way to say this… We're all madly in love with you. Please, pick one of us to take you to prom."

The half-naked red-head blinked at the three of them, all looking hopeful with their hearts on their sleeves. Feeling pressured, he took a step back, stumbling a bit. "I… I…" He stammered, his face turning an impossible shade of red. "What the hell?" He finally managed to squeak out after an awkward moment's silence.

"It's just as Kenny said, dude," Stan said, desperation lacing his words. "Come on, Kyle. The three of us have done nothing but argued behind your back for the past year and a half. Just choose." Kyle looked into Stan's beautiful azure eyes that seemed to be screaming, "Pick me, Kyle! I'm your best friend!" Then he looked to Cartman's, then Kenny's. Each of their eyes screamed something different. Cartman's seemed to say, "If you don't pick me, I'll treat you like shit for the rest of your life!" And Kenny's was more like, "If you pick me, we won't even go to prom! We'll just stay home and fuck! I'll be doing the fucking though, of course. But it'll be fun!"

That last one seemed a bit too clear, that's when he noticed that that hadn't been the blonde's eyes talking, but his mouth. He winked at Kyle and Stan and Cartman elbowed him in unison. "Kahl! I gave you AIDs remember? We have a special bond!" The brunette cried out hopefully.

The red-head scowled and screamed, "Okay, this is just too weird! And Cartman, that wouldn't make me pick you, you fat fuck! That was a terrible experience, remember?" A look of realization cast over Cartman's eyes as he muttered, "Oh yeahh…"

"I'm sorry guys, but… God, this is awkward enough as it is… But there's something that you should know. I'm already going to prom with someone…" He admitted. They all stared, mouths agape and eyes widened with saddened dismay.

"Who is it?" Stan asked angrily, getting off of his knee and standing so that he was towering above Kyle. The rest of them followed suit. It hadn't occurred to the small red-head just how short he was until he had three guys looming over him. He gulped and tried to shrink back further into his room, but they followed.

The red-head went to slam the door in their faces when a body appeared behind him. Two arms were wrapped around his waist and someone's chin rested tiredly on top of his hair. The man behind him let out a yawn and Stan, Kenny, and Cartman all looked toward the noise in horror. "What's going on?" Craig Tucker asked, pulling Kyle closer as he glared at his three 'attackers'.

Stan, being the first to take a step back, answered in a shaky voice, "Uhh haha, we were just leaving. We're just here to…" His mind went blank and he looked to Kenny for help.

Kenny stared, at a loss for a moment, then his eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah. Haha, we were just here to rape Kyle. But we'll be going now. See ya!" Craig glowered menacingly and Cartman slapped the blonde on the back of the head.

"He's lying. We were actually here to ask him what he thought of our suits. Right Stan?" Cartman said, looking toward his 'friend.'

"…Actually, that's what I was here for, remember, Cartman? You guys were here to ask Kyle to go prom. In case you forgot. Well, I'll let you get back to that. I'll see you guys at school!" With that, he hurried down the hall and out the front door.

"Kenny!" Kyle cried. "Dude, I'm in my underwear! Stop staring at me like that!"

"Dude! He's in his underwear! Stop staring, poor boy!" Cartman fussed, shaking his head in disgust. "I'm sorry, Kyle. Kenny can be so rude sometimes. But anyway, I think that concludes my visit. I guess I should be leaving now," he apologized and took of down the hall, leaving the blonde behind with an angry noirette and an embarrassed red-head.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then the boy in white clucked his tongue. "Sooo… Just putting this out there, but would either of you be interested in fucking?" He asked smoothly.

"Get the fuck out of here."

"Right, leaving," Kenny quickly replied to Craig's request and took off in the same direction as the other two.

After they disappeared, Craig nuzzled his nose into Kyle's neck and the red-head shivered. "Craig?" he asked, attempting to push the head off of him.

"Hm?" He asked.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room? Where did Bebe go?" He asked, un-amused.

"Bebe? When was she here?" He asked confused. Kyle turned around to look at him, a bemused look clear across his features. Then he thought back to the party last night. He had been talking to Bebe at one point… Then she gave him something to drink, and then he continued talking to her… He drunk something else… He remembered someone kissing him, and he recalled being asked to prom and agreeing since the fact that he still didn't have a date had been weighing on his mind all day… He could've sworn he had been with Bebe all night, though. What the fuck was Craig doing here?

Did that mean…? Oh god… Did something happen between him and Craig? "I need an aspirin…" the red-head said suddenly, and slipped out of the noirette's hold.

"You don't regret what happened, do you? Were still going to prom?" Craig asked, tilting his head to the side.

"…Yeah, were still going. And I don't know if I regret it or not… Ugh…" he disappeared to the bathroom without another word and the other waited until he heard the click of the bathroom door close. Then he went to the closet and opened the door. Tied up inside lay a dressy, make up covered blonde who was still asleep. He debated for a moment what to do, and then he heard a door open and closed the closet back. He'd worry about it later. For now, he had to convince Kyle that the red-head had been with Craig all night, and not Bebe.