What Are Friends For?
Sequel to Sleep: Post Trials
"It happened for months ago. I was, um, working under cover in a prison, and...one of the male guards tried to rape me. And I was…I was ok at first. And then…I started reliving it. I feel really jumpy, I can't sleep anymore, and I feel very out of control. And the thing is, is that I wasn't even raped."
"Olivia, you were sexually assaulted."
"He came…so close and there was nothing I could do to stop him, he had a weapon. And he completely overpowered me. And I never should have let him take…me down there. Because I know better than that."
"Rape victims often blame themselves. You know how misplaced that blame is…"
"I know. I know. I know that here. I've told that same thing to a lot of women. But now I…I feel…I feel like I don't deserve to be here. I feel like…I feel like he stole something from me. And…and I need help. Dealing with it."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Olivia left the therapist's office feeling so tired. All she wanted was to sleep. But since a couple of weeks ago, that had been impossible. She couldn't sleep in her bed anymore, so she was stuck on the too small couch. She couldn't sleep with the lights off and the TV had to be on. She felt she was slipping into the habits she developed after her attack four months ago.
Slipping into her car, Olivia sighed. Sleep. That was an order.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"No. NO! Stop! HELP! HELP ME! No…no…no, stop…don't!"
Olivia shot up in bed. Her phone was ringing.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Liv?" the person on the other line asked.
"Yeah, hi El."
"Are you ok? You sound…"
"I'm fine. What's up?"
"Olivia, we had this exact conversation four months ago. You are not ok. You didn't show up for the celebration. And you haven't returned any of my texts."
"Sorry. I was tired."
"It seems you're constantly tired. What's up?"
"Nothing. Nothing, El, I'm fine."
"Damn it, Olivia! No you're not! Why won't you talk to me!? Something happened in that basement! Why won't you tell me?!"
"Shit Elliot, if you want to know so badly, read the file!"
"No. No, Olivia, I want to hear it from you."
"It's not your burden to bear."
"But Liv, I want to bear it! If it means you getting sleep at night and actually eating, then of course I want to bear it! Even if it will help a fraction of a bit, I want to help."
The door bell rang.
"Elliot, if you are at that door, I swear to God…" She heard the lock click and Elliot opened the door. His phone was in his hand.
"Olivia," he began.
"Save it, Elliot! I'm done! I just want to go back to bed and sleep…"
"Liv, tell me what happened."
"Or what, Elliot!?" she screamed at him. "You going to hit me?! Go ahead. You can't hurt me!"
Olivia spread her arms as if waiting for him to strike her. Instead, Elliot hugged her tightly to his body, more tightly than she had ever been held. He felt her go rigidly stiff, but he didn't let go.
"I could never hurt you, Liv."
Whether it was ten seconds or ten minutes later, neither Elliot nor Olivia knew, but Olivia began to cry silently on his shoulder. She gripped his shirt like a lifeline, refusing to let go, just sobbing. And Elliot just held her.
"Olivia," he whispered, "What happened?"
There was no response and Elliot thought she was going to tell him to go to hell. But then she spoke, so softly Elliot didn't hear her at first.
"He took me downstairs. I saw the mattresses…and I just knew. I fought. And…he threw me down and took his belt off. I couldn't stop screaming. He grabbed me, pinning me to the wall, kissing me. It was disgusting. He took my cuffs off. I hit him and ran. I felt so ashamed, hiding from him. I was praying he would just leave!" she started to cry again. Elliot hugged her tighter.
"Shhhh. It's ok. Liv, it's alright."
"He…he cuffed me to a door…he told me if I – bit him – he'd kill me. I couldn't stop crying…It's ok…Everything's ok." It killed Elliot to hear her reassuring herself.
"And that's when Fin came in."
"Yeah," she whispered.
"So why this sudden relapse?"
"I don't know," she responded truthfully, sinking back into his embrace.
He continued to hug her. A moment later, he felt her completely relax.
"Olivia?" He asked softly. "Liv?" Adjusting her slightly, he saw she was asleep. He smiled and lifted her easily, bridal style. He carried her to her room where he laid her down on the bed, taking off her shoes and pulling the covers up.
He turned to leave, when he heard her murmur. "El…stay…"
Elliot slipped his shoes off and got on top of the sheets next to her. She sighed in her sleep as he put his arm around her.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Elliot was there when she woke up that night, screaming. He lulled her back to sleep. The next day, he was there to make sure she ate breakfast and to drive her to her therapist. And he sat in the waiting room until she was done.
"Hey, ready to go?" he asked as she walked out. "You ok?" he asked, noticing her tear-streaked face.
"Yeah. For once, I am. Let's go. I need some lunch."
Elliot smiled and followed her out.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Elliot," she said, setting her burger down.
"Yes, Liv?"
"Thank you."
"No problem. What are friends for?"
And Olivia smiled. A true smile. What where friends for, if not for this.