A/N: This Story is completely real life. It's not something I made up. The way that I wrote it is in a diary form. There isn't any dialogue. The only thing that's not real is the people's names.

Chapter One

I always find myself just sitting around thinking about nothing and everything. How can a place so big be so small? When will I find love? When will my head stop spinning of sorrows and pain? Just a few questions to ask myself. I spend most of my days crying and asking myself "why isn't it better?" Maybe the good part for my life just hasn't come yet. I'm seventeen and getting older every second. I try not to waste too much time, but even I have to stop and watch a little T.V.

My mom thinks the television is my life. Sometimes she might be right. I'd rather sit in front of the television thinking that I have no responsibilities. It makes me feel younger than what I really am. It makes me feel that I don't have to grow up and deal with reality.

I'm not a kid anymore though. I'm going to be a senior in high school. Life is changing and obviously I'm changing. Scary, I know. But that's what makes it so much fun. But the good part is, summer is here. This means summer job and summer fun. Of course I'm not looking forward to trying to find a job, especially since I haven't worked a day in my life.

So me, Alice is contemplating on what I want to do. I realized something, for a person who doesn't know crap about getting a job I'm very picky. I really don't want to work at a fast-food place, but then again those might be the only places that hire in the summer. I don't really know.

But I do know one thing, and that is that I totally miss my best friend. It seems like Bella has been gone forever. She went to Las Vegas with her boyfriend Jasper. Honestly I totally don't get her relationship with him.

One minute she hates his guts and the next she's flying all over the map with him. Bella is always complaining that he is so jealous and that he needs to loosen up more. But you know what; I can totally understand Jasper's jealousy sometimes. Bella is a big flirt and she is definitely not afraid to show it.

She totally puts herself in those compromising situations where Jasper, as her boyfriend is not comfortable. I mean you can't blame him for loving you and wanting to protect you.

So I talked to Bella the other day. Guess what she told me? She and Jasper had sex with each other. I'm still in shock that she would even have sex with him. I really don't understand her relationship with him. It's the most complicated thing in the world.

I don't know how many times Jasper and Bella have broken up and then gotten back together. I don't understand why she keeps going back to him. Bella is always telling me something wrong he has done to her and all this other stuff about him.

I mean I love Jasper, he's a really cool guy but I don't think he's good for her. Or it might be the other way around. I'm not exactly sure about that whole thing.

But I really don't have time to deal with other people's problems when I'm having my own shit to deal with. My senior year is coming up and I'm already stressing out about finals. I have no idea how I'm about to deal with this all.

So I'm halfway through senior year and everything is going down the drain. I'm so stressed out right now. The only good thing is that I have my best friend Rosalie by my side. I'm so fucking glad I met this crazy girl this year.

I don't think I can survive high school without this person. Rosalie is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. If it wasn't for her I really don't think I would be who I am today.

It just sucks that it had to take four years to find someone like her. I've never known a person as good as her besides my grandma. I feel like I wouldn't be able to go on if she wasn't there to motivate me. No joke, Rosalie has seriously changed my life around, and I feel like a better person because of her.