Chapter 1: Reality

Summary: They were gone. And now Kaoru's mind is like a butterfly. Fluttering in the wind while her body is left there to be taken care of. Reality becomes fantasy and Fantasy becomes reality for young Kaoru. No longer can she understand who she is, the only thing she can feel is loneliness and pain. So she sits there waiting, and when they finally come back will they help her understand who she is and what she is becoming.

Author's Note: Most of you know that Sano leaves for other countries after the revenge arc but in my fic he just leaves to travel around Japan. Also Kenshin can still use the Hiten Mitsurugi.

Time: This is set 1 year after the Revenge Arc and the boys left 4 months after the revenge arc.

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2 months before the next year

"I'm sorry I didn't get her faster. How is she?" A young woman in her early twenties said. Black hair fell to her waist and brown eyes stared sadly at the older man in front of her. He stared back sadly at her as well as they both turned to look at the once fresh and alive Kamiya Dojo. It had now become a quiet windblown and dirty house. Dead leaves and rotting plants growing all around the house. The once nice shoji doors falling apart.

"It is alright, it takes a long time for a letter to reach Aoyia and even longer for it to reach a doctor. But I am glad you are here Megumi." He said staring at the dojo. Megumi nodded and with Dr.Genzai they opened the gate and walked to the front of the house.

"Kaoru? Kaoru?" Dr.Genzai called looking for the young woman. Sitting slouched over a dirty table with scraggly looking black hair in her face was Kamiya Kaoru. The once proud and cheerful kendo instructor of this dojo.

Now she sat there with dirty hair and a pale face. Her kimono was falling apart seam by seam and her feet had cuts and marks from not wearing sandals or socks. Looking slightly at them Megumi could see the once sparkling with life sapphire colored eyes where now dull blue. Her eyes dilated and strange looking. A small thin line replaced the happy sparkling smile that Kaoru use to always wear.

"Hey Tanuki, heard you where a mess. What's wrong with you! Look it's almost winter and you're a mess." Megumi said softly trying to wipe some dirt of Kaoru's face with a napkin she brought. Kaoru just stared at her with blank eyes and Megumi tried to sit her up. Genzai helped her by holding Kaoru up.

"Kaoru-Chan, come on talk to me. You look like some ugly doll!" Megumi teased with a hint of desperation in her voice. Kaoru just tilted her head and looked away. A wave of cold air came in and Genzai testing Kaoru on her own stood up and closed it. Kaoru fell over weakly and Megumi looked as if she was to burst into tears.

"I don't understand why she is like this? Doctor all the messenger told me was that Kaoru wasn't feeling well and you needed me!" Megumi said as she tried to get Kaoru to sit up. All she did was slouch on to the table like a lifeless doll. It would seem as if she was lifeless if it wasn't for the fact that she was breathing.

"She is unwell, her mind is at least. It has floated away disappearing. It happened because of them." Dr.Genzai started and Megumi looked up at him expectantly. Waiting for the story to come and gathering Kaoru in her arms to let the smaller girl lay against her lap.

"Slowly it seemed she fell down a deep spiral. At first she began to forget things, easy things she did everyday. Example, going to the market for food, or even forgetting to practice kendo. Then it was forgetting to change and sometimes she would lay around the house doing nothing but staring into face. Soon she stopped eating, and sometimes always slept. Sleeping for hours on end. Then when she was awake she would stare off in to space. Sometimes she would talk and if you forced her to eat she would, sometimes. Finally this she suddenly shut herself inside. Not responding to anything or anyone. She stopped moving; no she stopped everything except breathing. I fear though she might start to stop that as well if we don't stop her." He said softly looking at the young 19 year old.

"I don't know why she was effective, I don't understand! They only left and didn't they promise to be back?" Megumi said in a tight clipped voice as her hands clenched hard.

"All of them except for Himura-san." He added softly and her eyes suddenly softened and her right hand uncurled petting the girl lightly on her head.

"What can we do? What can I do?" she said hugging Kaoru suddenly to her. Kaoru didn't make any movement and did not react in anyway to show she felt the hug from her friend. Unshed Tears shone in Megumi's eyes.

"Nothing, she can only help herself. We can only help her with her physical needs." Dr.Genzai stated in a sad tone. He looked at the young girl he had taken care of since she was very young. A girl who use to look up at him with bright and shining eyes and state in her cute young voice;

"One day I'm going to be the best Kendo Instructor in the world. Then I'm going to marry a handsome prince and live happily ever after!"

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Beautiful, it was all so gorgeous. Millions of flowers in the arms of her love. Sitting in the arms of the one she loved. Hearing the dojo and house bustling with noise and happy students. A beautiful butterfly flying and poising on her hand. Everything she would ever want. A house filled with loud children and students eagerly waiting to be taught.

"Hey Busu! Help me!" laughed an older Yahiko with a kendo stick in his hand. Kaoru looked at him and smiled brightly and then hurled her own stick at him.

"Shut up and don't call me Busu!" she yelled and laughed slightly as he yelped. Behind her Kenshin stood and smiled his usual smile. He then walked off to go do the laundry. Inside the house Sano and Megumi where bickering loudly. Yet the place was filled with delicious smells of food.

"Mommy!" screamed a young red headed boy who jumped into Kaoru's arms. She lifted him up laughing. He jumped down and ran to the porch where a quieter younger girl sat. Blackish blue tinted hair covered her eyes. The boy was shaking the girl and laughing. Trying to make her play with him. She just sat there quietly drinking tea and poured some for her brother who ignored her.

"Leave Kaoren alone Kenji!" she yelled at him and Kenshin chuckled behind her. The boy pouted and ran to the dojo.

Kaoru closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Everything was so alive and so wonderful. Everything perfect and just the way she wanted it right? So why did she feel as if something was missing? Something wasn't right and everything couldn't be this perfect. She shook it off and just smiled.

"Hey Tanuki, heard you where a mess. What's wrong with you? It's almost winter and you're a mess." came the soft voice of Megumi. She felt her cheek get wiped.

Kaoru looked around panicking and she backed up a bit. "Kaoru are you alright?" Kenshin asked wrapping his arms around her and she tried to nod but she was taken over by dizziness and a sense of the world spinning.

"Finally she just stopped talking." came broken up voices.

"What can we do? What can I do?"

"Nothing, she can only help herself. All we can do is help her with her physical needs."

The world spun and she felt blackness takeover her.

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Don't make me go back to a world, I don't understand. Please I'm afraid of it. That thing.

The thing that haunts me. It scares me, the eternal darkness.

The pain in my chest, what is it? It feels like loneliness.

Don't make me feel this, please.

Someone save me!

Present Day

"Are you hungry, Kaoru-Chan?" Megumi asked kneeling beside her friend who lay at the table. The dojo had been cleaned, actually the whole house. For the past two months Megumi had spent here she had done everything for Kaoru. Helped her eat, cleaned the house, went to the market, cooked and hell even helped her to the bathroom. She bathed Kaoru and she spoke to her all her thoughts.

In return all she got was a silent nobody. All she got was silence and it twisted her heart. The silence of the dojo and house. It made her think that this is what Kaoru had to look forward to everyday before she and the other guys met her. No wonder before Kaoru use to work until she collapsed just so she had enough money to pay for everyone. Who would want to listen to a silent house?

Shaking her head from her thoughts Megumi positioned Kaoru to lean against a wall as she took the chopsticks in her hand and grasped some rice and fish. She positioned it to fall into Kaoru's mouth. Slowly she forced Kaoru to chew it by grasping her jaw and using some tea to slide it down her throat by tilting her head back. She continued doing this until the bowl of rice and fish was gone along with the tea. Megumi then wiped her face with a napkin.

"Good Tanuki, let's get you dressed now shall we?" Megumi said standing up and wiping her hands. She then started the painstaking task of changing Kaoru into a dark blue kimono. Finishing she pulled Kaoru's arm around her shoulders and half dragged half walked the young woman to the porch.

She winced as her knees buckled and she fell hitting her knees hard against the hard wood. Propping up Kaoru against the shoji doors she left the young woman to bask in the warm glow of sunlight. Wind blew around gently wiping Kaoru's lose hair around. Sighing when she saw no reaction from Kaoru she turned and began getting her own self ready. She changed into a green kimono and took her own breakfast outside next to Kaoru.

The wind blew softly against the young woman. The morning was quiet and peaceful. The laundry was waving around and the Sakura tree was in full bloom. Megumi tucked a hair behind Kaoru's ear as she stared blankly in to the yard. Still after 2 months Kaoru still acted like a porcelain doll. At times even looked like it. Her black hair falling over her shoulders and waist. Sapphire eyes blank against her pale ivory skin. She was always propped up against something and her hands in lap. Except for breathing you couldn't tell she was alive. If you felt her, she felt cold and if you stared into her eyes they looked blank and dead.

"Aunty Megumi! Aunty Megumi!" yelled the small echoing voices of Suzume and Ayame Genzai. Megumi looked over and gave them a smile. The little children ran over cutely.

"Hello Suzume and Ayame! Does Dr.Genzai have a message for me?" Megumi said petting them on the head. They looked shyly around her towards Kaoru. Over the past year ever since Kaoru started to withdraw, she had become colder to them and now it was strange to see there beloved Kaoru staring at them blankly. In Suzume's words "Creepy!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Aunty Misao and two weird guys are with her!" Ayame said excitedly and Suzume echoed the words as well. Megumi looked surprised and was about to reply when she heard a loud yell coming from the pathway.

"I AM NOT A WEASEL! TELL HIM AOSHI-SAMA!" cried the loud voice of Makimachi Misao. Megumi made the motion for the little girls that they can go. They skipped along the path back home. Megumi stood up and dusted herself. She positioned Kaoru to be hidden behind a shoji door a little. Then she walked to the gate, waiting for them to come.

"MEGUMI!" yelled Misao breaking away from her fight with a certain amber eyed wolf. Megumi smirked at Misao happy to tease anyone.

"So weasel come to visit? Hello Shinomori-san, and to good day I guess Saitou-san." Megumi said slightly smirking at Misao's enraged expression. Aoshi and Saitou nodded coolly at her.

"I AM NOT A WEASEL!" screamed Misao jumping up and down. Shaking her head she turned to the other two.

"May I ask what you two gentlemen need?" Megumi asked ignoring the screaming girl.

"Where is Kamiya I've got letters for her. These two are visiting." Saitou said quite curtly flashing letters. Misao didn't notice but the two men did. Megumi flinched when she heard Kaoru's name. No one knew about Kaoru's current state except for a few select people. Meaning they didn't know as well.

Caught up in her thought, she didn't notice Misao yank open the gate and skip in. "KAORU-CHAN! MISAO IS HERE!" she yelled smiling she neared the porch and Megumi reached for her braid but was held back by Aoshi. They looked at each other and then Megumi looked at the ground.

"Kaoru?" Misao said in a softer voice as she pulled back the shoji door. Her eyes widened to see Kaoru sitting there staring blankly at her. Her back was leaned against the shoji doors and her face blank. She looked like a doll version of Kaoru.

"Megumi! What's wrong Kaoru?" Misao said and the other two men looked at her with the same face. Megumi sighed and motioned them to follow her.

She poured them tea and began the story of Kaoru's fall of grace. As they sat there drinking tea while the wind blew gently.

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"Mommy is going to be okay, right?" Kenji asked leaning on his mother's futon. Kaoren was in the corner sitting quietly. Kaoru smiled and patted him on the head.

"Of course I just feel weird right now that's all!" Kaoru said and looked up and her husband and friends.

"Misao-Chan! Eii! That means Aoimi and Michi is here!" Kaoru exclaimed smiling at her one of her best friends. Immediately Misao pushed past the men and knelt beside Kaoru and they began chatting.

Kenshin looked at his wife with a smile and turned back to the others. They had come at a visit and it was a nice surprise. Kaoru hadn't been feeling well lately. He was glad that she was up and happy again. He couldn't stand seeing her in pain.

"MOMMY!" cried Kenji. It was mixed with Misao's own "KAORU!" Kenshin ran to her side and Kaoru buried her face in her hands.

The feeling was back, the dizziness. Those voices and everything was blurring.

"When Kenshin left she began to close herself up. Especially since Yahiko and Sano also left to get him."

"WHAT? THOSE JERKS!"

"Didn't mean too..."

"Promise..."

"Promise?"

"Kenshin! Please don't leave!" she suddenly cried out and Kenshin reached for her rocking her back and forth.

"Of course not koishii." he muttered into her hair.

"PROMISE!" she said loudly holding to him as if her life depended on it. Yet he stayed silent for a minute. He rocked her for a while, but he never said "promise".

Reality

"So she's been like this the whole time?" Aoshi said quietly and Megumi nodded. Kaoru's head lay in her lap and Megumi was unconsciously stroking her hair. Misao had big tears in her eyes and looked as if she was to rip Sano, Yahiko and especially Kenshin apart.

"Yeah, she hasn't muttered a word or anything." Megumi replied looking away from them. Saitou had a lighted cigarette but no one made any comment.

"Humph, she should just get over the fact he's gone. Here is the letters. I have to go." Saitou said coldly flicking a pack of letters to the ground as he stood up. Misao glared at him for being so cold hearted but she didn't see what Aoshi and Megumi saw. He gave those letters in hope maybe the Tanuki might feel better. They had a feeling he actually had a small liking for the girl.

"Thank you." Megumi said as he walked away hoping he caught her hidden message. He waved a hand with out even looking back. Soon he was gone.

"I want to stay here and help too!" Misao suddenly blurted out and the attention was suddenly on her. Two no's where her response.

"You can't, I can handle it on my own!" Megumi with her own reason behind it. She knew it would break Misao if she had to watch Kaoru like this. Misao was use to a warm house with noise, seeing the silence and coldness would break her.

"No, you are to return to Kyoto with me." Aoshi said curtly with his own reason. One was because he had promised Okina that he would bring her back and second because of his own private reason.

"Please! Please it won't break me and Okina will understand. I'll be strong I promise!" Misao said with begging face. "It seems the weasel is smarter then we think." Megumi thought. She looked at Aoshi at the corner of her eye. He sighed inwardly and nodded his approval knowing she was right.

"Fine, for me as well but we will have a lot of work to do!" Megumi said sternly and Misao nodded eagerly. Aoshi looked away and stood up.

"I have to catch the train to Kyoto. I have things to do." He said quietly and turned. Misao looked torn between helping Megumi get Kaoru to sit in the living room and going with Aoshi to say goodbye. Apparently the story had taken a while and the sun was now dwindling down. Megumi rolled her eyes and motioned the young girl to go.

"Goodbye Aoshi-sama!" Misao called as she ran to the gate and waved goodbye. All she got in return was a nod. Misao sighed and leaned against the gate. "When will he figure out I'm not a child anymore?" she thought.

"MISAO!" yelled Megumi from inside the house. She turned and ran inside to find Megumi holding a letter and panicking. Kaoru was lying limp on the table. Megumi began pacing and she looked at her oddly.

"What's wrong Megumi?" Misao asked confused. Megumi threw the letter at her.

Dear Kaoru-dono,

Sessha would like to say, I am sorry I had to leave and not tell you. It seems the government really needed Sessha that they did. I with Sano and Yahiko will be coming back in three days. That Sessha can promise.

Kenshin.

Misao glanced at the letter and gasped. The letter was dated yesterday, meaning he was coming back tomorrow. Misao looked confused at Megumi who was panicking. She didn't understand. Wasn't this a good thing? Wouldn't this help Kaoru? She voiced her questions out loud. Megumi spun around towards her.

"Help her? Misao not only could this break her. It could break all three of those men! Who will they blame, Misao? Them selves of course!" cried Megumi grabbing her hair. Misao's eyes widened and she suddenly realized the same thing as Megumi.

"What are we going to do?" Misao cried back to her. The girls began to pace and pace.

"Nothing, Nothing." Megumi muttered to herself and Misao nodded. Both of them couldn't think of a thing.

"We just have to let them see her. Maybe it will do the opposite and help Kaoru-Chan. She needs a little hope, you need a little hope. Should we feed her now?" Misao said leaning down and hesitantly reaching out to Kaoru. Megumi opened her mouth to reply but she knew nothing could match that. She hoped to the gods that they would be able to save the raven haired kendo instructor.

Right now the two girls had to worry about the young woman lying on the table. She was sleeping now and they needed to feed her.

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Butterflies float above the ground but never to high.

They go where they please and signal happiness.

But they are easy to crush.

Ever so easy.

A/N: I'm sorry if I'm starting a new story to soon. Also thank you for reading, please review. Again thank you for reading and I'm sorry if I don't make sense or if things where to hurried along.