This is the follow up to both Sticky Note - Reboot and Unremarkable Remarkable Moment. While those two themes had to deal with Steph's ability to tell Ranger directly/indirectly that she loves him. This one deals with Ranger's ability to "FEEL" worthy of her love. Yup, Ranger is going to deal with his feelings. Sorry to those who 1) wanted a sequel to each of those, you're kind of getting it in this and 2) didn't like how Ranger dealt with Steph's way to tell him she loves him, meh it is what it is, no excuse or explanations :)
RPOV
It's the middle of the night and I'm holding Babe, she is light, goodness and innocent all wrapped up in one. Oh I'm not saying she is perfect, far from because anyone that is human isn't perfect, it's just that she is so un-touched by the horror's I've seen and done. The true brutality of man vs man that has avoided her life. Sure she has had brief scrapes of it lately and she has dealt with her own demons and has done so with conviction. But to be truly entrenched in plagues of humanity isn't want I want for her, what she deserves. I'm not worthy of her, how do I get her to see this and still stay on the fringes of her life? I can't not be in her life some way I am too greedy of a bastard to let her go completely.
So here I am in the middle of the night, reeling in the fact that she has admitted that she loves me and that I belong with her. On the idealistic part of life she is right, but how do I make that into reality? Or do I really have the right to make it reality? It isn't fair or right to her, my enemies and past choices will come up eventually and bite me in the ass it is only a matter of time. I can't and won't allow her to be anywhere near the blast zone when it does happen. No I won't let this happen, how do I handle this? I've already sent her back to Morelli once, I don't have the strength, especially after her confirmation of her love for me.
Oh I knew she loved me, it was in her eyes, it's been in her eyes since before Scrog. I've just been waiting for her to finally tell me, and damn if it didn't take her years. Stubbornness to her core, but that's where she gets the strength and determination to be a bounty hunter. It's what makes me love her, her stubbornness but that's where my conundrum lies.
Ever so softly I hear her mumbling in her sleep, I rest my ear closer to her mouth to try to listen. I always enjoy hearing her thoughts that aren't meant for others to hear. It has been a huge help on trying to figure her out, but even with that she is still quite a mystery. I slow my breathing down and listen.
"You're worthy"... "don't thinks so I know so"... "but if you don't believe "..."why not just be worthy"... "man I know you are"... "worthy of us"
I can't hear every word, but some how I get the gist of what she's trying to say. I don't know how she knows what on my mind, but she does, I guess her esp only works unconsciously. My Babe understands me better than she realizes and she cuts my worries down to something so simple. Be worthy of her, worthy of us.