Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Transformers. All credit goes to Hasbro.
Today was not Captain Fanzone's best day. He was always giving tickets, interrogating suspects, and capturing criminals. It was a part of being a police officer, even the downsides were included.
Detroit Police Station was always busy with helping keep the city under control, mostly from criminals like Angry Archer or Proffessor Princess. But today was especially in a hectic uproar. Most of the police officers had been dispatched all over the city while emergency responders hurridley answered emergency calls.
"Detroit Police Station. WHAT?! There's a cheetah and a pack of lions in your backyard! I'm dispatching animal control right away mam!" One dispatcher answered, flipping through a book to find the animal control number.
Across from the first dispatcher, another worker answered a call similar to hers. "Sir, I need you to calm down! Whatever you do, do not attempt to capture the snakes or make any sudden movements! Snakes attack any prey that moves, so I advise you to NOT leave your spot! Animal control is on its way!"
"Do not engage in capturing the tiger! Lock all of your doors and barricade the backyard door!"
Captain Fanzone hurriedly swung opened the door to the bullpen. He was used to seeing the bullpen busy, but never like this. Operators were answering many telephone calls, people were working hastily at their desks, even the director of the police station was responding to emergency calls. "What the heck is going on here?! I was relaxin' and I suddenly get called in! This had better not be Slo-Mo or that little girl who thinks she's a superhero!" he grumbled, "and I was in the middle of 'Blues Brothers'."
Fanzone ran to a door marked CAPTAIN SAMUEL ARCHBELL: CHIEF. He pushed the door to find an older man siting at his desk frantically answering phone calls too.
"How many animals have been captured? Are you serious?! Only twelve?! Send all of animal control NOW!" barked Chief Archbell. He eyed Captain Fanzone. "I'll have to call you back in a sec."
Chief Archbell hung up the phone and looked at Fanzone. "I know it's your day off and you want to know why I called you in," he said calmly, despite the situation.
Captain Fanzone sighed, sitting down in a chair. "With all due respect, Chief, I didn't expect for me to get called in all of a sudden. What on earth is going on?"
"Most of the animals at Detroit Zoo somehow escaped, if you don't count the aquatic animals and insects, and are all over the city."
"Eh, come again?" said Fanzone, not fully understanding the situation.
"To summarize, people are complaining about not rats, but lions, elephants, and okapis roaming around their homes! They're even finding tarantulas hidden inside the walls! Based on the amount of phone calls and how many animals escaped, this is not good at all," replied Chief Archbell.
"It's not like everyday you see an animal
attempt to leave their habitat at the zoo, but for multiple animals? If you ask me, someone must have released them, but not a zoo keeper. They ain't that dumb to let them out," interjected Fanzone.
Chief Archbell brushed his hair, "That you're right about. The zoo officials have been questioned and they confirmed the keepers were not involved in the sudden escape of the animals. But, they have apprehended suspects at the scene..."
"Back up. Suspects? It's not just one person? Who are those no-good idiots who let those animals out?"
"This is why I called you in. The suspects claim that they know you."
"How can a bunch of crazy hooligans say that they know who I am?"
"Look, Fanzone, many of the officers are out assisting with animal control and zoo keepers rounding up the animals, and I dispatched the detectives to the scene. You're one of the best interrogators I got and if we don't get any information out of the suspects, we might as well have to close the zoo for a while until we get this mess sorted out!" Chief Archbell rose from his seat and placed a hand on Fanzone's shoulder. "The suspects are... Unusually large, so we had to place them somewhere else in the station for interrogation."
"Eh, what do you mean by 'unusually large'?"
"They're very, very tall. Their heads kept hitting the ceiling, they couldn't sit properly. Come with me and I'll take you to their temporary interrogation room," said Chief Archbell, opening his office door.
The two police officers walked down the hall until they came to a metal blue door at the end of it. Captain Fanzone raised an eye in confusion. "Chief, this is the garage for all of our emergency vehicles. Why on earth did you place the suspects here?"
"Like I said, they are very tall and loom higher than a giraffe. I am counting on you to get some information out of these suspects, especially since they're renowned around the city," said Chief Archbell.
"Alright, Chief, if it'll help to know why these hooligans released the animals... I'll get them to talk. Show me the suspects!" barked Fanzone.
Chief Archbell unhooked a ring of keys from his pants. He scanned the ring until he found a blue key. "Found it." He inserted the key into the lock and it began to rise. Fanzone watched as the door rose, he swore he saw a metal foot. Metal feet? Oh please! As if a machine could be responsible for this ruckus! I've probably been watching too much robot apocalypse flicks.
A ding was heard as the door was finally all the way open. Fanzone could get a good view of the garage ,but who was in it made his jaw drop.
For once, he had wished he didn't ask who the suspects were.
"No. Freaking. Way."
Lined up against the wall sat Optimus Prime, his crew, Sari, and the Elite Guard. They were all in stasis cuffs (in Sari's case, she was in handcuffs). They looked somewhat damaged, worth a few dents, scratches, ruined paintjobs, and for some reason, a bow was on Sentinel's head. The Autobots (even Sentinel Prime) felt a wave of shame and embarrassment amongst themselves as Cheif Archbell and Captain Fanzone looked at them.
Fanzone slowly turned away from the Autobots to face his advisor. "Chief... of all people, the suspects had to be... MACHINES?! ", he cried, pointing a finger at Optimus. "You've got to be joking!"
Archbell shook his head. "I wish I were, but the Autobots were at the crime scene when they were apprehended by the police. They kept telling them that they know you, so you might as well interrogate them so we can solve this mess. Can I count on you?"
"I can't believe I'm sayin' this... I'll deal with the Autobots."
"I'll leave this to you. Any information from the suspects will be helpful," said Chief Archbell, leaving the garage.
Sighing, Fanzone walked back towards the Autobots. Being a detective, he could tell by their faces that they all had a guilty look on their face. Even though they were machines, they somehow had emotions. He scowled at each and every one of the Autobots. "You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Thanks to you, people have been finding animals all over the city and inside their homes! Of all criminals, it had to be you! What do you have to say for yourself and your fellow Autobots, Optimus Prime?!"
Optimus raised in head in embarrassment and spoke, "Captain Fanzone, if you would let me explain-"
"Let you explain?! You better have a good reason! Don't you see what you and your Autobots did?! Wild animals are running all over the city and wrecking havoc more than the Decepticons! Is that all you can say?!" questioned Fanzone, not happy with his suspects.
Before Optimus could answer, a taller, bulkier, blue and white Autobot raised his handcuffed hands (His hammer had been strapped to his back). "Stand down, Optimus Prime. Let me speak to the human officer," he calmly ordered.
"But, Ultra Magnus-"
"No. As Magnus, I am commanding you to step aside."
The fire truck gave in, sinking back next to Ratchet. He watched in shame as Ultra Magnus handled the situation.
Fanzone maintained eye contact with Ultra Magnus. "So, Ultra Magnus, I guess you've decided to take the blame for Optimus?"
"No, it is actually my own fault the organic animals are... 'running loose', as you humans would say," said Ultra Magnus. "I asked Optimus and his crew to take me to the zoo because I wanted to know more about the creatures on this planet and actually see what they behave."
"Is that so? Then how do you explain the zoo animals running around like a bunch of maniacs?! You coulda just watched them nature documentaries on Animal Planet!"
"What's Animal Planet?" Ultra Magnus asked.
"You know, the channel on the TV with the green elephant icon?"
"What is a TV? Elephants are't green, they are gray at the zoo."
"Never mind! You aren't the only Autobot involved in this! I want to hear from each and every one of you about this incident. You're not going anywhere until this mess is cleaned up, so you might as well get comfortable! And don't even think about lying!" warned Fanzone. "Do you hear? By the book."
"But what about Sari?" interjected Optimus.
Fanzone spotted the said girl in handcuffs sitting crisscross in front of Bumblebee. "For Pete's sake, you let a Sari be your accomplice? She's eight-years-old!"
"HEY! I've never stolen anything in my life, not even candy! What makes you think I'm an accomplice?!" snapped an annoyed Sari.
"She's a part of this ordeal too," Fanzone said to Optimus, "so I'll have to call her father after I ask each one of you about this mess. Since I'm gonna be here all night, I might as well get comfortable too." The blonde haired man spotted a nearby chair and snagged it. He set it upright and sat down in it. He turned his chair towards Ultra Magnus. "Since you claim that it was your fault you all are in this mess, I want you to tell me everything that happened until you were caught red-handed."
"What red hands? Ultra Magnus doesn't have red hands, you ignorant organic!" spat Sentinel, thinking Fanzone was making fun of the Autobot leader.
Ultra Magnus glared at his second-in-command. "Not now Sentinel. We have other things to worry about besides red hands." He turned his head back to Fanzone. "Captain Fanzone, I will do all I can to tell you everything."
"Well then, why don't you start from the very beginning?"
"It all started when the Elite Guard and I landed our ship to check on Optimus and his team's progress..."
Oh boy, the Autobots are in trouble! Can they get out of this mess before it gets worse?
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