Warning: Mostly just some swearing, blood and violence.

I don't own Naruto

Don't worry everyone I am planning on writing more Rules of the Bathroom, in fact I've already started the next chapter, I just wanted to try something a little different… Damn writer's block. What I'm going for here is something more serious, but still with a little humor, more detail and I'm trying my hand at dark and brooding angst. (sort-of like Anne Bishop) I listened to Disturbed the whole time- hoping to give it edge ;)… And I was sort of inspired by the acoustic version of So Cold by Breaking Benjamin, I don't know why really.

There are a few characters that aren't in the manga or anime but they're not really important, they're mostly random strangers Naruto helps in the course of helping Sasuke. Just think of them as walking props.

I was kinda tweaking their characters a little. Like… what would they be like if Sasuke had to talk more and Naruto had to be more silent? It's more of an outwardly type thing, since inwardly they're still the same people. So… this is what happened.

Helping People

It's So Much Harder When They're Cranky

Chapter one

The late August sun shone brightly into the interior of the black Saturn and Naruto Uzumaki adjusted his sunglasses with one hand as he turned off his car. Opening the car door, he sighed as he ventured into the hot Dallas afternoon, taking in the flashing lights of the patrol cars that lined the opposite side of the road as he crossed the quiet residential street. Pushing away the fabric of his t-shirt, the tall blond man stuck his hands in his jean pockets and kicked at a small rock with a battered sneaker.

A couple uniformed officers stationed by a small house that was surrounded by yellow tape, gave Naruto a small nod as he ducked under the perimeter and walked to the door. Opening it quietly, he took off his sunglasses, placing them in his pocket as he steeled himself for the horror he was about to witness. Even though he'd worked with the police for two years and had recently been made detective, it was still awful to be called to the scene of a crime.

The clicking of camera shutters faded into the background as blood spatters came sharply into focus, Naruto kept his face carefully blank as he forced the nausea back down his throat, well aware that if he cracked the other officers would not let him forget it. It wasn't just the smell and sight of blood that got to the young detective nor even the knowledge of a life cut so short, although that made him sad also. It was the sight in a corner of the room, a young blonde woman covered in blood who stared so forlornly at the place where she had died a short time ago.

Some might say that the ability to communicate with ghosts would be amazing, others horrifying, but Naruto had come to the conclusion that a lot depended on the ghost. Most people, if they even thought spirits existed, would just get a chill or feel something strange or someone watching them, but not Naruto. Ever since he was a boy, Naruto could not just See ghosts, but see them as clearly as regular people, hear them and also touch them.

When he was a child he had been unable to tell the difference between the living and the dead. His conversations with nothing had frightened his family. His father had thought him possessed and had persuaded their Catholic church to perform a full exorcism, which to a six year old is terrifying, even if there is no demon.

For a time he ignored the spirit world completely, which made him seem very withdrawn because the only way he could reliably do that is to ignore everyone he didn't recognize. This worried his family almost as much as his conversations with thin air so, when he was twelve, they sent him to live with his godmother, Tsunade, hoping that she could help. That was when he had met his partner, who had devised a plan to hide the crazy.

"About time you got here dumbass," His partner, a black haired man who looked about seventeen, glared at the tall blond from across the room. Sitting cross legged on the carpet leaning against the couch, his shiny black shoes tucked under his black slacks clad legs and his arms crossed in front of his white button-up shirt and red blazer, he looked like a typical private school student. He stood and smoothed invisible wrinkles out his clothes, "I've been waiting for an hour."

Naruto's eye started twitching, he rubbed his forehead trying to stave off a building headache, then pulled out his gloves looking around the room as he did so, "What have we got so far guys?" The blond asked the other officers in the room, the man continued, undeterred by the fact that no one seemed to be paying any attention to him.

"You said your name is Nicole, right?" As the black haired man questioned the blood covered woman she began to cry, great heaving sobs wrenched her thin form as she slowly collapsed and slid down the wall. Her expensive looking beige skirt suit wrinkling horribly, she sat on the floor her feet tucked under her.

"He said he loved me," she sobbed almost incoherently from her seat on the floor. "Ralph," finger shaking, she pointed to a photograph on the wall, "We had a fight, he thought I was having an affair. And then…" Her sobbing grew louder, and she put her hands in front of her face, hiding behind them as she became inconsolable in her pain.

"The Boyfriend? Seriously?!" The black haired young man hissed, "Why am I even here?" He threw his arms wide as he paced, his voice growing louder, and still no one spared him a glance. "The boyfriend is always the number one suspect in a crime like this, especially considering the anger evident in the stabbing as proven by the blood spatters. Even a complete retard could solve this case."

"Okay everyone," Naruto said after he'd finished looking over the crime scene, "I'm going to need to talk to the boyfriend."

"How'd you know she had a boyfriend Uzumaki? Hey, how do you even know the body's a she?" One of the officers asked, he was around Naruto's age with laughing brown eyes and short spiked brown hair.

Naruto pointed to the picture on the wall, "I'm psychic, Inuzuka."

"Okay sure, no problem. You got a hunch?" Kiba asked. Naruto joked about it but there was a rumor that he really was psychic, his hunches were famous and so far had never been wrong.

"Yeah, I have a hunch. Bring him in to the station when you find him."

The black haired man watched their exchange from across the room with narrowed eyes, and then he looked at the woman still sitting on the floor. "Okay, so you told him who killed you, he'll take care of it. So, you can move on or whatever."

"Thank you" The woman sniffed as she got off the floor and gave the stiff man a big hug.

"Don't do that." No response, she continued to hold him tightly, he tried again his voice dropping to subzero temperatures, "Hey, get off me." Still nothing, "Naruto! Are you done! Get her the fuck off me!" He finally just pushed her off, he backed away slowly, holding his hands up in front of him in a warding gesture.

Naruto kept his face carefully blank but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away, laughter in the face of death, it just wasn't done. But his friend was just so damn funny sometimes. "I have to go," Naruto told the other officers, knowing if he didn't get him out of here his friend was liable to blow a gasket. "Keep me posted, put the forensics results on my desk. I'm taking my girlfriend out to lunch."

"Do you need us to drop you somewhere?" The black haired man asked the woman, not really wanting to but knew it was expected of him. Seemingly as soon as he said it, a bright white light shone from behind her, it seemed to be from some sort of other world opening a path going to buildings in the distance.

"Is that heaven?" She took a step toward the light.

"I don't know, it could be somebody's heaven at least." He replied, a note of sadness entering his voice.

"Thank you again for everything," she took the first few steps onto the path waving to them as she disappeared.

Naruto seemed much more subdued as they left the house together and walked towards the car, neither of them said a word as the blond started the car and drove off.

"You owe me big moron, if I could still get dirty I'd be covered in goo right now."

Naruto said nothing.

"I didn't think I'd ever say this to you, but you can talk to me, there's no one else around right now. The windows are up no one can hear you, and if they did they'd think you were talking on the phone anyway."

The blond sighed and turned to look at his friend at a red light, "Are you sad Sasuke?"

A black eyebrow rose, clearly conveying his, 'are you stupid?' message.

"Don't pretend you have no feelings and just answer the damn question Sasu. Are you upset that she got to go so quickly when you're still stuck here?"

Sasuke looked out the window in silence, Naruto drove on when the light turned green, stealing glances at the handsome young man beside him who looked exactly the same as he had on the night he'd met him nine years ago.

He remembered it like it was yesterday, it was the day he'd moved in with his godmother, his baa-chan as he had called her.

X-X flashback X-X

Nine years earlier…

(Insert music here)… that's a nice fade away

Tears filled his blue eyes but the twelve year old refused to let them spill over and fall, as he stood in the living room of his godmother's house and watched out the window as his mom and dad drove away. His parents had gotten rid of him today. It was all his fault, they said they were worried about him, that he was being too quiet, but he knew the real reason, they just didn't want him anymore.

He'd come to the conclusion that people couldn't be trusted, they always left you alone and sad.

"Are you alright brat?" His baa-chan asked, her long blonde hair in low pigtails and her light amber colored eyes concerned as she pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm fine, Tsunade baa-chan."

"Okay, tell ya what, go pick your room while I make lunch, some PB&J sound good?"

Naruto nodded, climbing the stairs and wandering around, trying to find a room he liked. Finally settling on the one at the end of the hall with a large curved window seat that overlooked the backyard, he tossed his bag on the bed and went back downstairs to have some food.

Tsunade was in the kitchen making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like she'd promised, she smiled as Naruto sat at the small round light pine table situated on one end of the large bright room. Ruffled white curtains covered in yellow and brown sunflowers decorated the two windows in the room, one over the sink and the other by the table. White appliances and counter space lined both sides in a galley style with a few striped indoor outdoor rugs, one in front of the sink, another by the fridge, and the final one by the back door on the far side of the room.

"Do you like crusts?" Tsunade was at the island in the middle, looking at him.

Shrugging the blond replied, "I don't mind them too much."

"Here you go," Tsunade placed a plate in front of Naruto, with the sandwich cut in half, put another plate across the table for her, and went to the fridge and poured them two glasses of milk. Sitting down across from him she gave him a slight sad smile, it made him very nervous. "You know your mom and dad love you very much, don't you? I'm just going to be taking care of you for awhile, until they sort some things out."

"Sure," Naruto nodded staring at his plate, picking up his sandwich he nibbled the corner, not looking at her. He didn't really believe they loved him at all, if they did they wouldn't leave him here, right?

"I've got something for you," Tsunade held out a necklace, holding it with both of her hands, it was a blue gem hanging from a thin silver chain. "It's a symbol, something that has a special meaning just between us. It means I'll always be there for you, so if you're at school or somewhere and you're feeling lonely, just look at this necklace and think of me. Okay, brat?" She went behind his chair and fastened it gently around his neck. She bent down to look from over his shoulder, "Do you like it?"

Naruto touched the delicate necklace gently daring to hope that maybe his baa-chan wouldn't leave him and would keep her promise, it felt… warm… weird. "Yeah, I like it baa-chan, it's very pretty." He smiled at her, the big sincere grin lighting up his whole face, lifting the sad shadows from his clear blue eyes. "But don't call me brat, It's not very nice."

Ruffling his hair, she went back to her chair and sat back down, a gentle smile softening her face. "I'll stop calling you a brat when you stop referring to me as 'old lady', that's not very nice either. Eat your lunch." She took a bite of her own sandwich and kept her eyes on him until he took one also.

He was contentedly chewing his PB&J, it was already half gone, when he saw someone pop out of nowhere in his peripheral vision. He tried to ignore him, he knew the guy was one of the people who weren't really there, normal people don't just pop up after all, but he couldn't prevent the slight jump that gave him away.

"Great," the boy's voice was deep and sounded irritated yet bored at the same time, "Now I have to follow around a total moron." He paced around the room, his shiny black shoes making no sound on the tile flooring, Naruto's eyes unconsciously followed his every move. The guy pointed at baa-chan, "Lady, you could at least give the necklace to somebody older, this kid looks really annoying." Black eyes widened briefly as they finally noticed someone was watching him.

The guy looked like a complete jerk. He was older than him and he had that I'm-better-than-everyone-and-you-know-it attitude about him.

Naruto clenched his hands beside his plate, he couldn't believe it, this… thing…he didn't even know, was insulting him! And he couldn't do anything about it. If he continued to 'see things that aren't there' in front of his baa-chan, he would get sent away again.

"Naruto honey, what are you looking at?" Tsunade glanced about the room looking very concerned for her godson's mental wellbeing.

"Nothing," he muttered looking at the table in front of him, chanting silently to himself in his head in a sort of singsong voice. 'Go away, go away, if I ignore you, you'll just go away'. But he knew it wasn't working since he could still hear him talking.

"You can see me and hear me can't you? But you won't talk to me because she'll think you're crazy." The mystery man hopped onto the back of an empty chair, bold as you please, and perched there, making himself comfortable. "I bet I can ignore you a lot longer than you can ignore me, you look like the talkative type. So I'll just be here…Watching you."

Naruto sat quietly, finishing his sandwich and his milk, and excused himself, telling Tsunade he was going to put his stuff away. She helped him carry his boxes upstairs and told him to let her know if he needed help with anything. Nodding in answer he shut the door and leaned his back against it, closing his eyes, relieved that the weird ghost guy didn't follow them. He slowly opened his eyes, jumping slightly, again as he was startled by the black haired guy's presence on his window seat, looking at him with his intense black eyes.

Naruto snapped, he was so tired of spirits following him around, he was already totally sick of this guy and his attitude, of his watching. That was fast, he'd only met the guy twenty minutes ago.

He threw his arms into the air, "What do you want!? Look if you want something, too bad 'cause I'm not helping you so just go away."

"I can't."

"What? Why? You're dead, you can go wherever you want. You do know you're dead right?"

"Of course I know," He got a very haughty expression on his face, "Just because you're an idiot doesn't mean I am." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, glaring at Naruto, "And I can't leave, because I'm bonded to that necklace."

"How?"

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"Well, what do you remember?"

"My name is Sasuke and that's my necklace."

"That's it? Sasuke what?" Sasuke's only answer is a shrug, "That's not very helpful. How long have you been dead? Where did you live? Arrg." Naruto yelled his strange syllable of frustration, questioning himself, "Why do I even care! I don't want to help you!"

Sasuke looked at him, a smirk twisting his stupid perfect face, "Just admit you're curious, let's make a deal, you help me figure out who I am and why I'm bonded to this necklace and I'll help you with your ghost problem."

"How're you gonna do that?"

"Trust me."

TBC?

This was an epic fail on the serious front and it doesn't have the ominous feel to it I was going for, but should I continue? To me it seems like it could be fun.