A Most Fantastic Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even Reed's mouse.
The stockings were hung outside the lab with care
In hope that Johnny wouldn't set a fire near there.
Frankie and Val nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of new toys danced in their heads;
And Sue in pyjamas and Reed in his pants
Were laying in bed in a post-wrapping trance;
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter
Reed sprang from the bed to see what was the matter
Away to the window his stretched out his neck;
His eyes so keep they could see a mere speck.
The moon shining down on the city below
Was lost as New York looked more like a disco.
When, what to his wondering eyes should spot
But a miniature sleigh and eight Doombots.
He could see the old driver, all shiny and quick
And knew straight away that it would be that Vic!
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
"Now, Namor, now, Galactus, now Malice and Mephisto.
On Moleman, on Terrax, on Ronan and Diablo.
To the top of the Baxter, up near the sky!
We'll blast those Fantastic Four way up high!"
So up to the rooftop the coursers they flew
With a sleigh full of Doombots and Von Doom too.
And then, in a twinkling, Reed heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
This sound was followed by a crunching of metal,
A howling of pain and sting like a nettle.
As Reed drew in his neck, and climbed out of bed
He hoped that his wife wouldn't cut of his head
For sneaking at presents under the tree
Like Frankie and Val had been doing since they were three.
He reached the living room and was turning around
When straight down the chimney came Santa with a bound.
He was all dressed in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back
Wasn't nearly as good as what else he had packed.
Victor was there, curled in a ball
Packed in his metal armour, crushed up so small.
His mask was broken, his chin sticking out;
His green cape was muddy and completely burned out.
There'd been a big fight, and Santa had won
He knew these rumours wouldn't be ones Sue would shun.
Reed laughed when he saw him, without thinking twice,
This, as a present, would surely suffice.
Santa winked his eye, and with a twist of his head,
Reed knew that from Victor he had nothing to dread.
Santa spoke not a word but went straight to work
A filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And they all flew away like the down of a thistle.
The very next morning, after the stockings
And after the children had jumped away all the bedsprings
The Richards family went to the tree
And found something better than "to you, from me,".
There in a ball, complete with a bow
Was Victor Von Doom, crushed almost hollow.
Susan gasped and the children giggled
And only Reed knew how old Santa had meddled.
He just smiled and sat back, listening to their banter
And was glad he knew that Victor's ass had been kicked by Santa.
Merry Christmas to you all! Love, Angel-death-dealer
xxxxxx