DISCLAIMER: Not. Mine. Based off of the WIKTT challenge by Arienastera. Challenge guidelines at bottom.

WOE IS WE

Chapter One: Ouch

Hermione smiled to herself. It was the day of her eighteenth birthday, and she couldn't care less that Snape was incessantly barking at the class of seven years she sat in the midst of. Couldn't care less. No, her mind was on other things- whether or not Ron and Harry would get it right this year and buy her non-fiction texts of interesting origins rather than girlish trinkets- if her parents were planning a surprise in the owl post- if the rumors of the Gryffindors setting up their Head Girl a party really were true- if—

"…perhaps, would enlighten the class? Miss Granger? Miss Granger?!" Snapped abruptly from her reverie, Hermione's gaze quickly focused on the angry Potions' Master in front of her.

"I'm sorry, sir, I missed the question," Hermione said weakly, much to the dismay of her Gryffindor classmates and the chagrin of the Slytherins.

"Then ten points from Gryffindor for your daydreaming. The answer, in case you were wondering, is that by leaving our Binding Potion over heat too long, it would come to a boil, at which point it will coagulate and be ruined. The properties of the mixture past that point take on any number of volatile variations," he said flippantly, stalking back to his desk. "You all have three minutes remaining to finish your class questions and bottle-up today's assignment," he added as an afterthought.

It was in that three minute limit that Hermione's fate was sealed. Inevitably, Neville had trouble with the questions- not only was he over the time limit as everyone was stoppering their vials of potion, but his exasperation caused him to make one horrid mistake. He threw his arms out, giving up dramatically on the final question.

And promptly knocked over his cauldron, turning the coagulated contents onto the floor, under the moving feet of Severus Snape. What followed would not only ruin Hermione's birthday, but taint her upcoming week. Attempting to grab hold of something to stop his fall, Snape reached out and found the upraised arm of Miss Granger, bring her down into the mess with him.

They crashed into a heap of limbs and sticky potion, Hermione yelping loudly as Snape let out a most inappropriate string of curses.

"Evanesco!" Snape yelled loudly, instantly clearing any botched potion from his and Hermione's bodies.

The shock in the classroom made everything seem deathly still, as the seventh years all held their breaths in anticipation of Snape's next move.

Neville was shaking, his hands still clenched over his mouth in horror.

"Get. Out." It was barely a whisper, but everyone immediately obeyed. The room was cleared within a minute, all cauldrons magically cleaned and removed, potion vials neatly in place on the rack, completed assignments in a tidy stack on his desk. As for Hermione…

She was inches from him, teeth gritted in pain as she rubbed her lower back. The fall had obviously been worse for her, bring ripped to the floor by a man twice her weight.

Severus rose slowly, helping her to her feet. She gratefully took the help, not yet meeting the Professor's eyes.

"Do you need to go to the infirmary?" He asked, voice devoid of inflection.

"Umm… I don't think…"

"Wonderful. Then leave."

Hermione did as she was told, gathering her books as her surly Professor cracked his back in a very uncharacteristic moment of human-like stretching. She reached the door, walking briskly as Snape walked towards his desk in a similar manner- and they both hit the floor in a similar manner, as well; supine, bewildered, and in pain. They were no more than five paces apart, and thus their heads were side-by-side.

"Professor?" Hermione asked, breaking the silence.

"What- is- it- Granger?" He croaked out breathlessly.

"I think Neville's potion-"

"I gathered… as much… Miss Granger."

"Should we-"

"Just, just… let me lie here… a bit longer…"

Hermione sighed, studying the cracks in the ceiling. "Yes, Professor."

Bound Challenge Guidelines

Due to an unfortunate mistake made in potions Hermione and Snape are magically bound and can't go more than a few feet from each other. How will they ever learn to live together?

CHALLENGE REQUIREMENTS:
Neville (or another 'dunderhead') makes a boo-boo in potions and the result is a magical bond between Hermione and Severus.
They cannot go more than a few feet from each other. (max. 10 ft; min… 10 inches??) (…just had a really strange vision of them being actually fused together)
They could try to hide it from the rest of the school (how is beyond me) but that is up to you.
A bet goes around about who will kill who first, or some such thing. All houses (and staff?) involved.
This is preferably after the war (makes things so much less complicated)
And what would a Severus/Hermione story be without smut?
Hermione has to be of age (Preferably 18)

OPTIONAL: (try to use as many as you can though!!)
Someone asks Malfoy for his autograph and then says "Oh, they don't give you an award or anything for being the biggest prick on the planet?" (I don't know why I've always wanted to hear that)
H & S having a loud, very rude argument in very public place.
Someone catches Goyle and/or Crabbe in a broom closet (or dark corner, or empty classroom, etc.) with Filch and/or Mrs. Norris (if you would prefer a female J )
Hermione being a nagging mother to Snape (Eat your veggies! Tie your shoe before you trip! Don't run with pointy things!)
A very drunk Neville hits on an equally drunk Trelawney/McGonagall
"And the winner is……Crookshanks?"