AFTERMATH
CHAPTER 1: Driving away from trouble.
When Morgan had assigned JJ to go along with Spencer Reid to do an interview with one of the victim´s families, she had been truly relieved. Meeting the family or friends of a victim was always a difficult and draining task but today JJ found that it was a relief. It was a relief to be away from the rest of the team and have only Spence at her side. Things had not been going well for the team. Hotch had just returned to the BAU after taking a leave of absence after Hayley´s death. Her heart wanted to break every time she thought about that horrible day, how they all heard Hayley´s last words to Hotch and how little Jack had lost his mom. It was hard to look at Hotch and not feel somewhat guilty, guilty for having her own family safe. She had really no idea how Hotch had managed to keep it together after his family had to go on the protection program, knowing that it could possibly be years without seeing them again. After that, all had ended so badly, Hotch had been devastated but thankfully he had Jack. She knew that in time Hotch would emerge from this tragedy for the sake of his son, she just hoped that they would still be a team to witness this. The team had changed after the tragedy and not for the better. Morgan was still acting Unit Chief and this placed a big weight on his shoulders. He was just not the same cheerful and smiling Derek Morgan that she used to know. There were no more smiles, no more bantering, he was always on edge, distant. But not only Morgan had changed, there was also Emily and Rossi. Now they were always at each other´s throats, glaring at each other, finding the smallest things to fight about. It was insane, before that day they had gotten along so well. Then there was Garcia, who had given up on trying to reach Morgan and any of the others for that matter, she just did her job but all her giddiness and cheerfulness was missing as if she was mourning the loss of her family. Suddenly, JJ heard a sight and turned to look at Spence. Spencer Reid had been quiet since he started driving, actually he had been quiet the last three weeks, too quiet. JJ decided to close her eyes and try to rest, they still had about 20 more minutes to reach their destination. She thought about Will and baby Henry and how she wanted to be back home with them but this did not make her relax, instead she thought about Hotch and once again felt the familiar guilty feeling.
Spencer Reid was driving and trying to decide if he should talk to JJ about what was bothering him, right now the only one he could approach would be her. The rest of them, once so close, now seemed so far away. When he turned to look at her and saw her eyes closed he could not open his mouth. She looked so tired, she needed the rest. He guessed they all needed that, rest. He was so tired too, not physically but mentally exhausted. He was having trouble dealing with what had happened three weeks ago, having seen Hotch loose all his self-control had been one of the most difficult experiences of all his life. Hotch was more than a boss for him, he was the person he looked up to, a mentor and a friend. Hotch had been there for him time and time again, he had never left him alone, always caring for him in a subtle way, never imposing but always caring. Now Spencer had seen Hotch at his weakest, dealing with a devastating pain and it had scared him. It had frighten him because he, Spencer Reid with an amazing IQ, could not figure out how to help the person that had always been there for him. He knew what it was like to be tortured as Henkel had done a good job with him but he knew that Hotch had been through much worse if that was even possible. Aaron Hotchner had slowly been stabbed nine times and then psychologically tortured for some months by a serial killer who finally killed the woman that he had loved for more than twenty years. Reid had complete confidence that Hotch could overcome this somehow but felt utterly useless in help ing him do so and that was what ate at him. It made him feel useless as he was letting his friend and therefore his team down. He needed to talk to someone but all of his team members had their own troubles to face as he had felt the great tension in the room when they were all together. Hotch, the one person he could always confide on was the one person he was afraid to really look at the eyes for fear that his mentor would find out what a failure Spencer Reid really was. Good, they were about to arrive, he was eager to put his mind to work in something he could really help with, the case.