Title: Regret
Rating: K+
Summary: Obi-Wanwatches Anakin (not slash).
Spoilers: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
He hated being in situations where he couldn't just act. He wanted to know what he was doing and why simply because he was doing it. He didn't want to have to think about what he was doing because he knew that any decision he would now make would be the wrong one. Whatever he did had consequences and he knew that any action he would take he would regret.
So, he stood there, panting and sweating on this Force-forsaken rock that heaved with lava and was the very image of hell. He could feel sweat running down his back and wished that that discomfort could have been the very least of his problems. He wished that he didn't have to think about Padme unconscious by the ship and what he would have to do when he returned to her. He wished he didn't have to think about the images of dead younglings, but those had been burned into the back of his eyes, just like he knew this scene would be. Most of all, he wished he didn't have to be staring down at his apprentice and trying to decide whether or not to save him.
He could hear himself shouting at the boy who was no longer a boy, but a monster. He wasn't entirely positive what he was saying- he tried to control himself like a proper Jedi would, but he couldn't. The words came ripping from his throat and he knew from the expression on Anakin's face- but, what did he call himself now?- that nothing was getting through.
He wanted to plunge forward and pull the boy from the flames that now licked onto his body. He wanted heal Anakin of every hurt he had suffered, especially the ones that he had just caused, but he couldn't move. His eyes continued to stare as the boy screamed in frustration, pain, and fury, unable to drag themselves away from the heart wrenching scene. He couldn't bear this- to know that Anakin was gone and that he had, in some way, been part of the reason why.
Obi-Wan took a stumbling step backward, then quickly regained his composure. He couldn't help Anakin. Anakin was gone. He had to help Padme now because she was the only thing left of what Anakin should've become.
He didn't think Anakin heard him choke back a sob as he turned and left the boy on the beach of that lava river.
He knew he would regret it, though.